Chase of a Lifetime (15 page)

Only Cain gaped at the naked male stripper
with a wide smile. He laughed with everyone else, watching the male stripper
shake and bounce his nuts above Jim’s head.

So Jim crawled out from under the stripper’s
legs and stood up. Without waiting for Cain, he turned and headed toward the
exit. As he crossed through the bar, men booed him and made rude gestures,
implying he was a poor sport. They laughed at him and poked him in the arms. He
ignored them and continued walking. Though he felt a sting in his eyes he
didn’t dare shed a tear in front of them. It wasn’t until he was outside when
he realized Cain had followed him. Cain grabbed his arm and said, “Hey, buddy.
I’m sorry. I thought I was doing a good thing. I had no idea you’d react this
way.”

“Ah well,” Jim said.
 
It all came rushing out of him at once. “That’s
how you always were. Life’s just fun and games to you. You have no idea what I
had to do this afternoon.
 
I told my
mother I was gay. You have no idea what it’s like to tell someone you love that
you’ve been pretending about who you are all your life. And now there’s no
going back.” He couldn’t contain it a minute longer. All the emotions he’d been
holding inside seemed to flow from his body. He turned to face the stucco wall
and tears streamed down his face.

Cain grabbed him from behind and put his
arms around him. He held him and said, “I’m sorry. I had no idea you told your
mother this afternoon. I thought this would be a good way for you to come clean
with me for once. I thought it would make us closer. I figured by now you’d
come out. I just wanted you to know I’m cool with it. I forgot how sensitive
you always were. I’m a fucking asshole.”

Jim turned around in Cain’s arms and looked
at him. Cain held him tighter and rubbed his back with gentle strokes. “I’m
okay,” Jim said. “It’s just that it all hit me at once. How would you feel if
you were gay and two people you’ve known all your life told you they already
knew? Both in the same day, too.”

Cain pushed Jim’s head to his shoulder.
 
“Your mom already knew?”

Jim wiped his eyes and nodded. “Yes. She
said she’d always known. Hell, I wasn’t even sure about it and you guys already
knew. I feel like a fucking idiot. And now I’m wondering who else knows.”

“If it makes you feel better, there are a
lot of people who don’t know,” Cain said. “My mom doesn’t know. She thinks
you’re the perfect straight guy and some lucky girl is going to snatch you up
very soon. She said so tonight and I just rolled my eyes. I’m sure the only
people who suspected are the people who know you the best.”

Jim tried to lift his head and step away,
but Cain held him tighter. “You think so.” He was starting to feel silly about
crying. He had to learn to control his emotions better.
 

“I’m certain,” Cain said. “Let’s go
someplace for coffee now. I’ll tell you all about my impending wedding and you
can tell me all about what it’s like to suck guys off. I always wanted to ask a
girl but never had the nerve.” He laughed and slapped Jim on the ass hard. “Do
you swallow?”

Jim blinked and stepped back. His eyes
bugged and he wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Calm down,” Cain said. “I was joking, man.
I’m not asking for details. You have to have been involved with someone since I
saw you last, one dude at the very least.”

He wondered how Cain would react if he knew Jim
had fallen in love with his father and they’d been lovers. He seemed so cool
and calm about Jim being gay because it didn’t affect him in the least. “Let’s
just get out of here,” Jim said. “I’d like to go someplace quiet.”

*****

They went to a smaller bar above a
restaurant and Jim ordered coffee. Cain started drinking beer, which didn’t
bother Jim. He would be the designated driver on the way home, not Cain. There
were threadbare sofas, overstuffed arm chairs, and western accessories everywhere
Jim looked. It appeared overdone, in order to attract tourists and those
looking for a western theme. They sat down on an old brown leather sofa with
cracks, beneath a plaque of steer horns, and Cain started talking about his
girlfriend while Jim sipped a cup of black coffee.

“I hope I’m doing the right thing getting
married,” Cain said.

“Do you love her?” Jim asked. For him, love
determined the most important question anyone could ask someone who was
thinking about getting married.

Cain laughed. “You’re the first person who
asked me that. My mom and dad are just concerned about our ages. I think I love
her. And we’ve known each other for a long time. I just never thought I’d have
to get married because she was pregnant. We’d talked about getting engaged and
married in the future. But we’d never set a time frame for it. And when she
found out she was pregnant, there didn’t seem to be any reason to wait.”

Jim didn’t understand this. He’d always
wished he’d had the freedom straight people have when it came to love and
marriage. He shrugged and asked, “What’s the problem?”

Cain gulped the rest of his beer and set the
glass down on a table. “I’m a little freaked out, that’s all. This is going to
sound terrible, but I don’t want to wind up like my parents.”

Jim didn’t know how to respond. He knew more
about Cain’s parents than Cain probably knew. He played dumb and asked, “How do
you mean?”

“I’ve always known my parents had to get
married,” Cain said. “It wasn’t hard to figure out the dates between their
wedding day and my birthday. They were both so young…not even out of high
school. They were forced into marriage before they even knew each other. And
trust me, it didn’t work out for them. They put up a good front for my sake,
but they haven’t had a real marriage in years. They haven’t slept in the same
room for years. And my mom is gone so much of the time I think she’s seeing
someone else and my dad doesn’t even seem to care about it. In fact, he
encouraged her to go out tonight. I don’t want to wind up like them, man. It
would have been better if they’d gotten a divorce years ago. I kind of feel
sorry for my mom. My dad has always seemed like this sexless creature to me. It’s
like he was born with a limp dick. In a way, I wouldn’t blame my mom for having
an affair.”

Though Jim couldn’t admit to Cain that he
knew all about Len and Janice’s marriage of convenience, he could offer Cain
what he considered sound advice about his own situation. “Look at it this way,”
he said. “You’re not as young as your parents were. You’re a twenty-one year
old man. You’re a college graduate going to a fantastic grad school this fall
and you’ve known your fiancé for a long time. It’s a completely different
scenario, Cain. Don’t compare your parent’s relationship to yours.”

Cain thought for a moment and nodded. “I see
what you mean. It is different. Lara and I really are in love and we were
planning to get married within the next couple of years. No one is forcing us
into anything. If we wanted to, we could live together, have the baby, and put
the wedding off. I never thought about it that way.”

Jim shrugged and said, “A lot of couples are
living together nowadays, having kids, and not getting married right away.”
Then he laughed and glanced down at his lap.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Jim said. “I was just thinking
about how gay people are fighting so hard to get married and have kids, and now
straight people are fighting so hard not to get married and not have kids too
soon. Interesting how things have turned around.”

By the time Cain finished his last beer, the
bar was ready to close down for the night. Jim took the keys from him and
helped him out to the car. Cain stumbled and leaned against Jim more than once.
He tripped and Jim caught him before he fell into a row of azaleas. He’d seen
Cain drunk more than once. In high school Cain got drunk almost every weekend
in his senior year. The next day he would be in perfect condition and no one
would have guessed he put away two six packs all by himself. And Cain wasn’t a
mean nasty drunk. He laughed and joked and became animated in a way that made
him even more endearing and wonderful to be around.

When they reached the car, Jim opened the
passenger door and helped him inside. Cain sat down, but kept his leg outside
the door so Jim couldn’t close it. Cain laughed and grabbed his crotch. He
yanked his dick and said, “You’re a good friend, Jim. If you ever need a cock
to suck, you’re more than welcome to mine. I’ve let a few gay dudes suck me off
in school when I really needed to get off. I’m cool with it as long as you
don’t expect any reciprocation.” He slurred so much he couldn’t even pronounce
reciprocation. He shook his finger. “I’m not into guys that way. I’d rather eat
pussy than suck dick.”

Jim smiled. He remembered a gay guy he knew
in
Princeton
who was always bragging about how
many straight guys let him suck them off. Jim would sit and listen, without
commenting. The gay guy said there were some straight guys who didn’t care who
blew them as long as they got off. He even mentioned a bathroom on campus with
a glory hole. But Jim had never been into anonymous sex in dark, dangerous
places. He had no intention of sucking Cain off that night…or ever. He lifted
Cain’s leg, shoved it into the car, and closed the door.

On the way back to the Mayfield house, Cain
forgot he’d even mentioned the blow job and started talking about how much he
missed his fiancé. He said he couldn’t wait until he saw her again and hold her
in his arms. He laughed and talked about how much he loved to have sex with
her. He punched Jim at a stop sign and said he’d once gone down between her
legs with his mouth for two hours. He promised that Jim would like her, too. He
mentioned that she had a gay brother and maybe she could fix Jim up with her
brother and they would all be one big happy modern family. He punched Jim again
and said, “You’d like him. I saw him in swim trunks and he’s got a big cock. At
the very least, you can suck him off.”

Jim listened and nodded. Six months earlier,
he would have been hurt, if not devastated, by the fact that Cain had a fiancé
and he was planning to marry. But now all his childhood fantasies of Cain had
disappeared. They were nothing more than good old friends and he hoped they
would always remain that way. The only man Jim could think about now was Len
Mayfield, and he couldn’t even confide this to his old friend.

When they pulled up to the Mayfield house,
he helped Cain get out of the car and walked him to the front door to see him
inside safely. Then he practically ran back to his car and pulled away as fast
as he could. He wondered if Len was upstairs watching from the bedroom window.
He would be clenching his fists, glaring down at Jim in the driveway for going
out with Cain that night. The only thing Jim wanted to do was go home and fall
into bed. He needed to start making plans for his future, and to sit down and
tell his father about his lifestyle.

He parked on the side of the house near the
garage so he wouldn’t wake his parents. But as he opened his door and get out,
a huge white pickup truck pulled up beside him. It was Len Mayfield’s truck. Jim
would know it anywhere. He parked so close Jim could barely open his door wide
enough to climb out.

Len lowered the passenger window and said,
“Where have you been?”

Jim flung him an intense stare and said, “That
none of your business.”

“Well I think it is my business, and I want
to know where you’ve been.”

“Go home, Len. It’s late and I’m tired.” He
turned and started walking toward the house.

Len jumped out and stopped him at the back
of the truck. He grabbed Jim’s arms and held him with a firm grip. “Get in the
truck. Let’s go for a ride.”

Although Jim wanted to go with him, he knew
it would be wrong. The way Len held him, tightly but not in a way that would
hurt him, caused a rush of emotions to pass through Jim’s body. “I want to go
to bed. I’m tired.” He wanted to see if Len would continue to pursue him. He
had to admit he enjoyed the attention.

Len released him and took a deep breath.
Then he caressed Jim’s cheek with a light stroke and said, “Please come for a
ride. I just want to talk. I’ve missed you. I can’t believe you didn’t take any
of my calls. Don’t make me beg.”

He already was begging, only he didn’t
realize it. Jim didn’t want to see him continue to beg, so he nodded and said,
“I’ll go if you promise we only talk. Nothing else.”

Len smiled. “I promise. I won’t even touch
you. We’ll just talk.”

They drove to a dark secluded area just
outside city limits, where a narrow dirt road led them to a dead end surrounded
by tall trees. Len started asking questions about Jim’s evening with Cain. He
seemed close to panic when he spoke.

“Why are you so concerned?” Jim asked. “Are
you afraid I’m going to wind up sleeping with Cain?”

Len smiled. “Of course not. I know Cain is
straight. He’s crazy enough to let you blow him when he’s drunk, but he’s not
gay. But more important, I know you wouldn’t do that. I know how you feel about
me and I know you would never do something like that to hurt me. It’s not in
your nature to hurt people.”

Evidently, Len knew his son very well. He
knew Jim even better. So Jim decided not to argue the point. “You’re right. But
I still don’t understand why you’re worried about Cain and me going out. It
doesn’t make sense.”

Len smacked the steering wheel. “Think about
it, Jim. He doesn’t know I’m gay. And if he ever does find out I want to be the
one to tell him. He thinks he comes from a stable home with normal parents.
He’s already a little screwed up and I don’t want to make it worse.”

Jim took offense to this remark. “Okay,
you’re saying you know I’d never sleep with Cain because I have such strong
feelings for you and I’m such a good person. But in the same breath you’re
saying you’re afraid I might out you to Cain. Fuck you, Len. Take me home.”