Char (9 page)

And mostly, I hope he doesn’t have those feelings for me, because I don’t feel the same way. I mean, I’m attracted to him. He’s extremely cute. But I’m not in love with him the way a girl should love a guy she’s dating.

I push the thoughts to the back of my head and decide to just enjoy the rest of my day with Tristan.

8pm

Coney Island

We spend the whole day at Coney Island riding roller coasters, eating junk food, and playing carnival games. The sun is going to set soon, so we are about to leave for Times Square.

“There is one more thing I want to do before we leave,” Tristan tells me. “We have to ride the ferris wheel. The sun is about to set, and it’s the perfect time.”

My eyes get big. “I’m scared of heights.”

He laughs. “You rode the roller coaster, and you definitely didn’t look scared then.”

“That’s because on a roller coaster you’re only high for a second, and there are all those straps that secure you. On a ferris wheel there really isn’t much keeping you from falling out.” I bite my lip.

“Oh, come on Char. I’ll be there, and I promise you won’t fall.”

“No way.” Absolutely not happening.

I can tell from the look on his face that he’s definitely
not
going to take NO
for an answer. “You’re Charlotte York, and you’re not scared of anything… Besides, the best way to conquer your fears is by facing them.”

“Maybe…” I really should face my fear. I’ve always wanted to ride the ferris wheel.

He grabs my hand. “Come on. We’ll just do it, and you’ll be glad you did.”

I nod. “Fine. I’ll do it. But if I fall off, it will be on your conscience for the rest of your life. And be warned that my ghost
will
haunt you.”

He grins. “You won’t regret it. I promise.”

We get in line, and he holds my hand. Maybe I should pull away, but I don’t. I like it there. His hand is bigger than Landon’s. For some reason, when I hold his hand I feel less nervous.

“So tell me about your ex-boyfriend.”

Oh wow. I didn’t expect Tristan to ask that. “Well, his name is Landon. His brother is Steven Tate—”

“Steven Tate? Like the guy from Paper Fences?”

I nod. “Yeah. He moved to California when his brother’s band started making it big. I liked him because he was normal. The best part was that he didn’t know me or my sisters. He treated me like a normal human, but at the same time, he has always been a jerk. Like he would take me to our school dances and not dance with me. And then he would complain if I wanted to dance with any of my friends. I overlooked it because he was awesome in other ways. And he was sweet. But then money started going to his head, and he started acting like he was the shit. I continued to overlook it. Aaron was so mad at me for it. I honestly started getting sick of it too, but instead of talking to him about it I just spent more time with my friends. I guess I thought it would get better, but it didn’t. A few days ago I went over to his house early in the morning and he was in bed with another girl. He wasn’t expecting me because I usually surfed at that time. And honestly, it has probably been going on for a long time. I just didn’t care enough to notice.”

“I’m sorry that he cheated on you,” Tristan says. “Sometimes you can’t help who you like. Even if they
are
a jerk.”

Tristan TOTALLY gets it. So why couldn’t Aaron? “Well, I thought I liked him. And it hurt when I found him with the other girl, but it honestly didn’t break my heart like I thought it would. I almost felt relieved.”

“I think you felt relieved because you knew eventually that you’d have to break up with him and he saved you from that. You have a soft heart beyond your rough exterior wall.”

“Oh, I have a rough exterior wall?” I ask.

“Yes. Electric fence, barbwire, twenty-feet tall… the works. You’re more guarded than a high security prison.”

I want to deny. But I know he’s right. “I’ve been hurt a lot in my life. And not just by stupid boyfriends. By parents, sisters, friends… It’s inevitable that everybody you let close to you will eventually hurt you.”

“That’s true,” Tristan says. “But I’m sure you’ve hurt people too. Love is about forgiving though. It’s about moving forward. When you love somebody, you can’t just love the good parts.”

“I’ve been hurt more times than I care to count.”

“You’re stronger than you think,” he says.

Now it’s our turn to get on. Tristan distracted me all the way to the front of the line. And now I’m scared, but he doesn’t give me a chance to back out. He gently nudges me inside, and gets on beside me. He grabs my hand and squeezes it.

The ferris wheel moves to let the next person on. The cage suddenly feels smaller. “Guess it’s too late to back out now,” I say.

The butterflies in my stomach intensify and I’m not sure if they’re from the fear of heights or because of the beautiful boy sitting next to me. No. Tristan isn’t a boy. He’s a man. I finally conclude that my nerves are the result of both.

“You will be fine.” He puts his arm around me, and I bury my face against his neck. “No, you can’t close your eyes. That’s against the rules. I promise, this won’t be bad.”

I open my eyes, and see that we are still fairly close to the ground. But then the ferris wheel starts moving up again. I watch as the sun slowly starts to set. I rest my head against his shoulder.

“This isn’t
so
bad,” I say, but I don’t release my grip on his waist.

“I knew you’d like it.”

“Maybe New York really isn’t as bad as I thought it was.” I know that I have nothing against the city, I just have bad memories with my dad here. Actually the memories are of him
not
being here… So maybe I can give this a chance.

“I told you that once this year is up you won’t want to leave.”

Why am I starting to believe that? “I’m a California girl.” I’m not sure if I am trying to convince him or me. “I love surfing too much to live in the city. I belong on the ocean.”

“You can still surf. Your dad has a house at Hamptons, New York. And it’s not like you can’t visit California anytime you want.”

“My family is there. Chloe’s show,
Drama Queen
, is recorded in Hollywood. And Candice’s reality show,
Shores of Malibu
, is
obviously
based in Malibu. I want to be close to my sisters. We’ve always been close,” I say.

“And they’re only a five and a half hour plane ride away. I bet you will see them just as much here as you did there.”

He might be right. We had family dinner once every two weeks, but even then Candice would bail half the time. I already miss Chloe. We had dinner once a week, but that would probably change now that she has Phillip. I’m not sure if he’s her
boyfriend
yet, but I bet he will be soon.

The ferris wheel comes to a stop when we are at the very top, and we have the perfect view of the sunset.

“I want to kiss you,” Tristan tells me. His confession causes my heart to race. “But I’m not going to because this is really cliche and I am not a cliche guy. And also because you just broke up with your boyfriend, and I don’t want to be your rebound.”

Tristan could never be a rebound. But I don’t tell him that. “I’m glad you’re not cliche.”

“But you still want to kiss me.”

Yes.
“No.”

“Like I said before, you’re a really bad liar,” he says.

“So what if I want to kiss you. You’re really cute, and I had a really nice day. Just because I want to kiss you doesn’t mean anything.”

“I think it
does
mean something,” he says. “And if I kiss you once, you’re going to want to kiss me again.”

“You’re pretty confident.” He’s also very right.

“I am, but I know that you’re not over your ex. I know that you think you are, but you’re not. And you definitely need to figure out your feelings for your best friend because he is definitely in love with you.”

He’s right about Landon, but I don’t want him to be right. I want to just forget everything and start over. But he’s wrong about Aaron. “But I still want to hang out with you. Even if there is no kissing involved.”

“Definitely.”

“And you won’t ditch me when you go back to Columbia?” I ask.

“Never.”

“Not even for a hot college girl?”

He laughs. “Let’s just say that I don’t need a
filler girl
. You are worth the wait.”

The ferris wheel starts moving down again, and we get off. The magical moment is over, but I am still reeling.
 

“To Times Square?” he asks.

“Yes!” I get excited. The whole day has been awesome, and going to Times Square is the perfect end to the perfect day. I have to admit, I
love
being a tourist. It’s kind of fun.

10pm

Times Square

Only in New York City would it be this crazy at night. Not that it feels like night. The whole sky is lit up with the lights from the city, and it feels magical. NYC really is the city that never sleeps.

“This is amazing,” I tell Tristan, taking in the scene surrounding me. For a moment, I feel like I’m in a movie. We are almost to ending credits, and everything is coming together for the final scene. This is where everything gets fixed — this is the happy ending. Unfortunately for me, the movie is just starting, and my romantic interest hasn’t stepped onto the screen yet. Or maybe he has. Maybe I’m the girl everybody is sitting on the edge of their seat, waiting for her to realize she’s in love with the guy. Geez, even in my head that sounds stupid. But I wish I knew who I was going to spend my life with. Maybe I’ve met him. Or maybe I haven’t. But I want to know.

Yeah, yeah. I get it. I’m seventeen. I’m too young to think about forever. But I can’t help it. I want to think about it. I want to dream about true love. I want to find that one special guy who I will spend the rest of my life with. And just because I meet him doesn’t mean we have to get married right away. I am okay with a very long relationship. I’m just sick of dating. I’m sick of heart break. I just want to be happy. But unfortunately for me, life isn’t a movie. I can’t read ahead on the script. And I don’t know how it’s going to end. Maybe my life is one big pathetic love story. Like Titanic. We hit an ice burg, and my dream guy dies trying to save me.

A horn honks close by, and pulls me out of my fantasy. This is real life. And so far — reality sucks.

“You know, you’re officially a resident of New York City now.”

“I suppose. Sometimes I feel like I’m just visiting. But today was fun. I officially no longer hate New York,” I say.

“And that was one of the five things you told me about yourself when we first met,” he says. “Since you no longer hate New York, it no longer counts. So now you have to tell me something else.”

I think about his question. “My favorite colors are pink and white.”

“That’s still lame. But good to know,” he says.

“Also I am random. Like right now I’m thinking that I am sure my chances of surviving the apocalypse are like five in eight million.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, in every end of the world movie only like five people from New York City actually survives.”

He laughs. “You’re so random. But I like it. So do you watch a lot of apocalyptic movies?”

“Yes. My sister Chloe is obsessed with them,” I say. “She tried out to play a role in an upcoming zombie movie. I don’t know if she got the part yet, but she’s pretty excited. I hope she gets it.”

“I’m sure she will. And I guess you’re right. The end of the world usually doesn’t go well for people in New York City,” he says. “You and I need to have a apocalyptic movie marathon. Whatever those people did right we will do.”

“We’ll be the only two survivors in the city.”

“And it will be our duty to repopulate the city.” He smiles. “You know, for the good of mankind.”

“Of course,” I say. “For mankind…”

“I knew it! You so want me.”

“Totally. It’s all I think about.” I joke with him. “In fact, we should probably start practicing now.”

“I love your idea.”

“Thank you for today,” I tell him. “I needed that.”

“You’re welcome, but it’s not like it was a chore to hang out with you all day. I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too.”

Tristan put his arm around me as we walked back to the limo. It’s then that I realize — I may not know what the future holds, and the ending may suck ass, but I’m going to enjoy my right now. Because right now is what I have.

MONDAY, AUGUST 19

8am

Day one of high class hell.

The first day of school always sucks, but being at a new school makes it suck that much worse. The only person I really know is Christian. I have a feeling that today is going to be absolutely miserable.

The last two weeks I have been hanging out with Tristan, which has been a lot of fun. But it doesn’t help me now. Because he’s at Columbia, on the Upper West Side. And I’m at East Wood, on the Upper East Side. And the reality is that I’m probably not going to see him that much. Now that he’s back at college, he’ll probably find some sorority chick and forget all about me.

The uniforms for school actually aren’t so bad. I’m wearing a mini pleated skirt. It’s dark gray, cream, and dark blue. I’m also wearing a white button up shirt, a dark gray sweater vest, and a dark blue mini-tie. The ties are technically for the guys, but I wanted to wear one because it looks cute. I put on a pair of black, sparkly Toms, and then I take a picture and send it to Aaron.

Me:
Day 1 of high class hell.

Aaron:
Hot. Bring your uniform to the Hamptons on Labor Day. We are going to have some fun… Also, I think your hair is darker. What’s up with that?

I look at my hair. I flat ironed it today, but he’s right. It is darker. Probably because I haven’t spent everyday in the sun.

Me:
Maybe I’ll hit up the hair dresser and get some blonde highlights.

Aaron:
Definitely! You’re too sexy for brown hair.

Um what? I actually probably won’t
get highlights. I’ve never been big on the chemicals they use. And the last time I got highlights, my hair kept getting tangled, which Candi told me is normal. My hair is too long to deal with that.