Changing Tunes (14 page)

“Earth to Ash.” Mac giggles, moving her hands back in forth in front of my face. “Where did you go?”

I tell her about my new study buddy and that, beginning tomorrow, every Tuesday until the end of the semester we’ll be working on our Chemistry project together.

“I think he likes you, girl.”

I shake my head. “I don’t know about that, he doesn’t know me. I may not be his type.” The possibility of Zeke liking me causes goose bumps to flare from my head, all the way down to my toes, causing me to shiver.

All I know is tomorrow I get to spend time with him, and I’m looking forward to it. But, first I want to try to be friends. Friends first?
What a novel concept
.

Mac and I spend the rest of the evening eating junk food, talking about guys and laughing. There’s a lot of laughing. I don’t feel the need to seek out a guy to have sex. I’ve certainly never felt so alive and in control.

Why do I have, what I’m sure is the dopiest, smile on my face? I’m excited, stoked really, at the prospect of being alone in the same room with Ashley. Nobody staring at her, because let’s face it, that grates my last nerve. The moment she noticed me sitting next to her in Chemistry, her eyes were on me. She never glanced around, and for that moment, nobody else existed. After she sat down, I looked around and almost every guy had his eyes on her. I saw how they looked at her. Half of them had a look that said they want to throw her across their desk and have their way with her, right then and there. It makes me want to pound their faces in. I’m not normally so territorial, or violent, but I see in their eyes they only care about one thing. I don’t think she even noticed it today.

I wanted to start over and, apparently, reintroducing myself to her was the ticket, because she smiled. God, that girl has such a nice smile and it lit her whole face up. She’s gorgeous and there’s a hell of a lot more to her than what she lets people see. First thing I noticed when we were talking was she is extremely intelligent. She doesn’t give herself enough credit, though. I think she understands the material we’re studying more than she thinks she does.

I was listening to the lecture, but kept getting distracted and would glance across at Ashley from time to time when she wasn’t looking. Why does this girl get to me like she does? There’s only ever been one person in my life that could distract me, but not to the same extent, never to this extent.

I continue to tell myself we’ll just be friends and I’m okay with that, but truthfully, I don’t know if I can be just friends with Ashley Davis. I don’t know if I have that in me. I’m sure as hell going to try, though.

I get to my dorm and see Joe walking in at the same time. Joe tilts his head in greeting. “What’s up, man?”

“Not much.” Out of curiosity, I blurt, “So how do you know Ashley? I saw her coming out of your room on Saturday night.” I’m such a fucking idiot.
Obvious much?

He looks around a little uncomfortable, “I uh, just met her at the party that was downstairs. Why do you ask?”

“No reason. She’s in a class of mine, so I was just curios.”

“Okay, well I’ll see you around.”

“Oh, Joe?” My head is telling my mouth to shut up, but my mouth doesn’t want to listen because I just have to know.

“Yeah?” he asks.

“Are you dating Ashley? I mean…” I’m such a dumb ass and decide to bang my head into the wall when I finally make it into my room.

Joe regards me for a moment. “No, man. I tried, but she wasn’t interested. I liked her, and she’s a good lay. A real good lay; the girl sure knows how to take charge.” He laughs and I feel my hand go into a fist, ready to spring to life and connect with Joe’s face. He says a little snidely, “Granted, she didn’t want me to touch her and had these ‘rules’ I had to abide by.” He uses air quotes. “For a good time again, though, I’d go for another roll, even with her rules.”

That’s it, I’m done, and that’s all it takes. I can’t stand here and listen to him degrade her to my face. Not to mention the thought of his hands on Ashley makes me see red.
She’s my friend. Right? That’s why I’m ready to pound his face in? Yeah, that’s it.

I fly forward to punch the ever-living crap out of his face. I see the shock register on his face as he tries to block my punch. Fortunately, he’s too slow, and I get him right in his left eye. His entire body falls backwards and he catches himself on the doorframe.

“What the fuck, man?”

I’m seething, “Here’s the thing, you fucking dick, she’s my friend and you don’t talk about my friends that way. I thought you were a nice guy, but turns out, I was wrong. It’s a good thing she turned you down. Look how you talk about her. She must have really good instincts, that’s all I’ve got to say.” My whole body is shaking, and I’m just waiting for him to give me a reason to attack again.

“Dude, I’m sorry.” He hangs his head a little. “She may have bruised my ego a bit.”

I shake my head at him as I open my door and head straight to my freezer, yanking out the ice tray and emptying it into a plastic zip lock bag. I sit on the edge of my bed, holding the bag on my knuckles. It’s going to be worse tomorrow, but I’ll be fine. I’ll have to explain myself, but that’s fine, too. I’ll think of something.

I’m so pissed, but I think about everything he said. Her rules, and not touching? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious. But I’m trying to be friends, and really, isn’t that all I have to offer? Friendship? She couldn’t handle my responsibilities, or my life. I have no doubt she’s definitely used to the finer things of life. There’s no way I could ever give her those things. Hell, I’m late starting college. I should have started two years ago, but sometimes life doesn’t work out the way you want it to. Sometimes you make monumental mistakes that come back to bite you in the ass. And as hard as they are, you step up and take responsibility.

As much as my head says stay away from Ashley, my heart says the opposite. There’s an obvious chemistry that, quite frankly, can’t be denied. I know she feels it, I can tell. But again, I can’t give her the life she deserves. I have to keep it strictly platonic, no matter what my heart says.

I yank my phone out and realize the time; I need to call home soon. I miss my family.

I’m nervous. Several things roll around in my head—Zeke, my father, and yes, Zeke again. I briefly wonder what it would be like for Zeke to meet my dad. Truthfully, if he went in with an open mind, he’d probably like Zeke. But ‘Mr. Davis’ doesn’t have it in him to like anyone, and would snub his nose at him in disdain. He’d take one look at Zeke’s shaggy hair and Chuck Taylor’s, and that would be all she wrote.

Mac left this morning with a knowing smile on her face. I quickly reminded her it needed to be kept as a friendship and nothing else. She’d looked at me curiously, but remained mum as she went out the door.

In typical girl fashion, I rushed around the apartment making sure everything was neat and tidy. I also looked in the mirror at least a half a dozen times. I’ve never been so concerned about my appearance, or dressed quite so carefully. I may have also gone to the market first thing this morning and picked up a few groceries for us to munch on. You know, just in case he got hungry.

I hear a knock on the door and I take one last glance in the mirror while commanding myself to chill.

“You’ve got this,” I say mutter to myself. “Plus, this is not a date.” I smooth my shirt and shorts and yank the door open.

Standing in the doorway is my friend Zeke, hot as ever. I say friend in my head as much as possible, trying to convince myself. He smiles big, and his eyes twinkle, and he looks good enough to eat.

Stop that!

“Hey,” he says.

“Come on in.” I notice his hand is wrapped up, and I know it wasn’t like that yesterday. “What happened to your hand?”

“I did something stupid, and now, I’m paying the price. “It’ll be fine in a couple of days. It’s just a little sore.”

He doesn’t elaborate, and I don’t ask. We aren’t that good of friends, after all.

I point him in the direction of the table in the kitchen, where it would be best for us to work. He sits down and gets situated while I get my books and notes from my room. On my way back, I stop and watch him for a moment. He’s gathering his notes, but he quickly looks up, as if sensing I’m there.

I rush in, pretending I didn’t just get caught ogling.

I’m such an idiot. Real smooth.

I sit down and we begin working together. It’s easy and not forced. He knows how to explain things to me so I understand them better. He’s funny, and maybe a little brilliant. I like listening to him talk and his voice is soothing. It’s comfortable.

As we are silently working on the individual portion of our project, I sense him looking at me. I glance up and see a look that doesn’t look so friendly. It looks heated, but then it quickly falls away and is replaced with a friendly smile. “Can I grab something to drink?”

I get up and open the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water and hold it up. “This okay? Or I have soda?”

“Water would be great, thanks.”

I hand him the water and our fingers graze. Electricity, like nothing I’ve ever felt, passes through me and takes me by surprise. I quickly glance up and see him looking down.

Okay, must have been just me.

We continue working, but I can’t help the disappointment I feel, knowing I’m the only one that felt the spark, but I tell myself to shrug it off and get a grip.

“So,” he says breaking the silence. “What do you do for fun around here?”

“I usually hang out with Mac.”

Yeah, when you’re not trying to screw some random guy.

I dismiss the thought entirely, knowing that I’m trying to change this part of me, along with several other things.

“Mac?” he asks. “You live with a guy?”

I throw my head back and laugh. I never imagined anyone would think I was talking about a guy, she’s just Mac.