Changing Focus (14 page)

“This ends here and now. I won’t let this take over my life. I can’t hurt Micah like that.” Olivia shoved away the knowledge that he’d obviously liked it and returned it. That didn’t matter. He was just responding to her uncontrollable urges. With a firm nod, Olivia slipped out of Micah’s room and headed to her own.

She stopped by Talia’s room, pausing at the door. The slow, even breathing of a sound-asleep child greeted her. Gareth had obviously brought her home earlier since she hadn’t been here when Olivia had cried herself to sleep in Micah’s arms. She wondered if the child had even awakened during the trip. Resting a hand on the door, she whispered, “Love you, Talia. Grow up strong and know who you are.”

Tears traced warmth down Olivia’s cheeks as she unplugged her laptop to secure it in its case. She made a call to the car service that had brought her to the lodge then opened her suitcase. As she folded her clothing into the bag, she tried not to notice the occasional water spot.
I swear! You’ve cried more here than you have since Mom and Dad died.
Swiping a tear from the edge of her mouth, Olivia closed the suitcase.

Leaving the silk long johns on the bed along with the cap and scarf, she wheeled her suitcase into the hall then picked it up for the suddenly endless trek down the stairs to wait for the car. She knew she’d have to confront Micah. No one could leave or enter the property without him being aware of it.

He stood in the doorway to the kitchen, a silent statue with arms folded over his chest. His hair hung loose around his face and though his pose might have looked casual, she could smell his tension. The air hung heavy between them as she put her luggage by the front door.

“You’re leaving?”

She’d have had to be made of stone not to hear the hurt and disbelief in his voice. His fingers curled around a loose thread on his sweater. She watched as he pulled at the string, almost as though he was trying to pull her back to him. Olivia fought the urge to tell him to stop-it wasn’t her place. She had no right or reason to tell him to do anything. Micah released the string to rub lightly at his chest, reminding her of where her teeth had been scant hours before.

“I have to. I have to finish my story. I can’t stay here. I can’t be what you want me to be.” Words tumbled over each other as she pulled every sad excuse from her repertoire. Turning her head didn’t alleviate the incredible searing pain that blazed through her.

Hurting him was the last thing she wanted to do.
Which
, she reminded herself,
is precisely why you’re waiting for a cab to take you as far from him as possible.

“Why, Olivia? Why are you running? How long can you run from yourself?” He unfolded his arms and walked toward her but stopped when she took a step back. “Liv, this isn’t right. You belong here, with me, with Talia. You’re one of us.”

“
No!
” The violence inside her projected into that one syllable. “No, Micah, I am not one of you. Maybe, maybe if I’d been with the right family, maybe then all of this would make sense. All it makes right now is crazy. And I can’t afford crazy in my life. Do you even know how much money I spent in therapy? On medicine to keep me sane?”

Olivia backed farther away from him until she hit a wall. “I can’t, Micah, and I won’t.”

A sigh ripped from his lips as his shoulders sagged. “Then that’s that. I can’t make you stay, Olivia. I can’t make you want to be with me.” His voice faded then came back. “I can’t make you be one of us. What about Talia? Will you leave without saying goodbye?”

Tears misted in her eyes. “Tell her I love her and I’ll call her, okay? I can’t say goodbye to both of you. I’m not that strong.”

His chin sunk to his chest then he leveled his gaze at her. “I will always welcome you at my side, Olivia. The mark you left on me will never fade nor will your presence in my heart. I will always-”

A honk from outside interrupted him and Olivia didn’t wait for him to finish. She couldn’t hear him say those words. If she did, she might stay. Instead, she grabbed her luggage and fled as though the hounds of hell were at her heels.

Micah didn’t follow her to the car although she half expected him to. Or hoped. No, not hoped. That implied she wanted to stay and she couldn’t. She wouldn’t trust what was inside her ever again. Leaning back against the vinyl seats, Olivia gave in to the tears she’d held back in front of Micah. She was leaving the man she loved-the child who had stolen her heart when she wasn’t looking. She was leaving the only real home she’d ever found.

Micah stood in the lifeless kitchen until he could no longer hear the motor. Until he was sure he wouldn’t shift and chase her down to drag her back. The savage beast wailing inside him begged him to go after his mate. He had to resist. She had made her choice. Now he had to piece his shattered world back together.

Setting himself to start breakfast, Micah turned to the coffeepot and caught a movement from the doorway.

“Micah? Is everything okay?”

Gareth’s voice carried compassion. Micah knew he knew everything wasn’t okay. Lifting his head, he stared at his friend.

“She’s gone.” The stark words raked razors down his throat but they had to be said-had to be released so he could begin to deal with the loss of his mate.

“I know, Micah. I knew when I hit the door. You want to talk about it or do you want it to be business as usual? Your call.”

The unexpected sympathy knocked Micah off balance. He sought for control as he took a breath and sent the unsteadiness deep into his soul where he could deal with it later.

“What do you have for me, Gareth?”

Gareth read him a few messages that had come in on the answering service, then dove into some repairs some of the cabins needed. Micah tried his best to focus, but couldn’t.

“Sorry, Gareth.” Micah’s words halted Gareth’s seemingly unending litany of things to do. “I know I said business, but I can’t focus. I’m going for a run. Will you keep an eye out for Talia? She should be up soon.”

Not waiting for a response, Micah shed his clothes on the way out. He knew it was irresponsible but he also knew Gareth would pick them up. Right now he didn’t care about fair or right or anything other than running until the pain was gone. He thought he might have to run until he collapsed for that to happen.

He found no joy in the wind whipping past him because there was no sunlight-coated female at his side. That brief moment of joy seemed long gone in the face of this emptiness. Tilting his head, he gave voice to the grief he felt as snow whipped past his churning paws. Answering howls told him his Pack heard but wouldn’t interfere. They grieved with him even though he didn’t accept his place as Alpha and even though they didn’t know the true source of his grief. The thought humbled him.

Racing against the loss was a losing battle and Micah finally admitted that to himself. He slowed to a lope and turned back for the lodge. Talia. He had to let Talia know. Then he had to convince Olivia of what he knew to be the truth.

He could no more live without Olivia than be without his true nature. She’d just have to get used to him and Talia being around. He had to go to New York to convince her to come back to them. He and Talia needed Olivia.

With the lodge in sight, Micah trotted into the barn to shift and dress. He always kept spare clothing in there. Talia was a shifter but she was still a little girl. No need to educate her on the niceties of the human male form just yet. He slid into jeans and a sweatshirt then braided his hair back off his face.

Gareth met him in the barn. “Micah, we need to talk about those messages.”

Catching a different scent on Gareth, Micah challenged him. “You’ve been running with another Pack? What is this? Don’t talk to me about business, Gareth. Who do I smell on you?”

Head turned and eyes down, the other man stuttered, “It’s not what you think. They aren’t Pack. They’re wild. I ran with them just to feel…” His voice trailed off.

“Dammit, Gareth, how many times have we talked about this? This Pack doesn’t care about your scars. I won’t allow it. You know that.”

Gareth’s voice weighed heavy with pain. “You won’t allow it, Micah? That’s great. Don’t you see? They don’t accept me for who
I
am. They accept me for who
you are
. That’s not a Pack. That’s pity. And it’s not what I miss, what I want or what I need.”

Slashing his hand down, Gareth turned his back to Micah. Shoulders sagging, he whispered, “Like you, I grew up in a Pack, Micah. I’ve only ever lived with other shifters. Now none of them will accept me. Even the kids are scared of me. You saw how Talia was at first. It wasn’t until you told her not to be scared that she even came near me. Dammit, Micah, can’t you see? I have no place in this world that you haven’t made for me as Alpha of this Pack.”

It was automatic. “I’m not Alpha, Gareth. And they would accept you if you would let them get to know you. You’re practically a lone wolf now. And you know the Pack definitely won’t allow that.”

Gareth laughed bitterly. “I’m the lone one? You just told me for about the hundredth time that you aren’t my Alpha. So how can you speak for this Pack? How can you stand there and tell me what they will and won’t accept? Until you take your rightful place as our leader, as our Alpha, Micah, you have
no right
to tell me mine.”

Turning on his heel, Gareth faced Micah and looked him in the eye. “Yeah, Micah, I mean that. I’m not challenging you, we both know that would be total stupidity on my part, but until you accept your place, I can’t see you giving me any more advice or guidance. You’re avoiding your responsibilities to the Pack but expecting them-me-to go along with your decisions.”

He shook his head, looking down at the ground again. “I’m done. I need to get away from here for a while. I’ll ask Jonah to come in from the reservation to see to the things that need to be done around here. He’s not busy and he’s learned a lot from working with me while you’re gone. Just got one person moving in over there and they won’t be here for a few months. As soon as things are settled with him, I’m leaving.”

Micah opened his mouth then closed it. In a strange way it made sense to him. Gareth was right. Micah paused-or had been up until a few days ago when Olivia and Talia had shown him what Pack could be. Stretching his head up and back, he rolled his shoulders.

“Then go, Gareth. But don’t run with the wilds again.”

“Why not? They give me more acceptance than I’ve found recently among my own kind.”

Watching his friend leave only increased the pain he felt. First Olivia leaving him and now Gareth choosing this time to call him on his lack of leadership. He knew in his heart that there was a point to the accusation. By not holding councils or participating in Pack Gatherings other than the full moons, he continually fought the yoke of leadership.

Biting back the howl of frustration bubbling up inside him, Micah headed for the lodge. He had to tell Talia about Olivia-had to make a six-year-old understand why her friend had left without saying goodbye.

And then he had to concentrate his energy on getting Olivia back. Only then could he figure out his place in this Pack, whether he was truly fit to be their Alpha or if he should insist on turning that responsibility over to someone else.

T
ires crunching on the snow alerted Micah to a visitor.
Who the hell is that? I canceled all the reservations. Dammit, if that’s Pete come again to tell me I need to step in as Alpha, I swear I’ll shift and bite him so he can’t sit down for a week.

Micah swiftly scented for Talia. Telling her about Olivia had been hard, but they’d settled into some semblance of a routine. Assured she still napped, he hit the front door with an exasperated expulsion of air.

If he’d been in wolf form, his ears would have flattened against his skull. His lips did curl back in a snarl as his nostrils flared-what the hell was Frank LaBec doing in Wisconsin? And what was he doing in Micah’s territory when he was the leader of the Turn Skin Pack in New Orleans?

Micah stood rooted on his front steps, fists clenched as the car stopped.
I do not need this now.
Missing Olivia for the past two weeks had turned his emotions raw. Hell, he’d even snapped at Talia the night before.

With one hand held out, he rumbled, “Don’t get out of that car, Alpha. I don’t want Turn Skins on my land or near my family.”

The man half in and half out of the car shook his head. His shoulder-length blond hair was tied back and he wore an open black overcoat under which Micah could see a conservative pinstriped tailored suit. Heaving a sigh, he shot back at Micah, “This is Pack business, Alpha. My Pack and yours. If you don’t want fair warning, I’ll leave.”

Micah’s shoulders tensed as the hair on the back of his neck stood up. “Pack business? What
business
does your Pack have with mine? Speak your words, Alpha. Make it worth my while not to stuff you back in that overpriced rental and kick your ass all the way back to the airport.”

The challenge hung in the air as Frank stared at Micah. His chest moved in steady breaths then he slammed the car door shut and moved to the front of the vehicle. “I am here on behalf of my Pack to discuss the living arrangements of Curtis’ heir, Micah. In case you have any doubt, I’m talking about Talia Genaro, Shelly Genaro’s child.”

Before Micah could speak, Frank continued. “I’m as shocked as you are. But we need to talk, you and I. The Pack wants Talia at the mansion to rear as our own.”

Without thinking, Micah charged Frank. Grabbing Frank by the lapels of his suit, he raised the other man a few inches off the ground so that their faces were level. Nose to nose, he snarled, “You have lost your ever-loving mind, Frank and you could lose your life. Talia is my goddaughter-no, she is my daughter. Shelly gave
me
custody. Now get off my land and out of my territory.”

Micah bit out the last words in careful pieces as if Frank might misunderstand the importance of what he was saying. Not letting go of the suit, Micah backed Frank up.

“She is mine. Do not even
think
about pulling anything like kidnapping her or harming her in any way. If any other Turn Skins set foot on my property, I will shoot them dead.”

He knew exactly what affront he’d offered. To shoot another shifter without a fair fight animal to animal was a grave insult but Micah didn’t care.
Nothing and no one, especially not those lowlife Turn Skins, will harm my daughter.
It shook him to the bone to realize that he considered Talia his as though he’d created her with Shelly.

Surely she hadn’t slept with Curtis-not sweet, gentle Shelly. She’d refused to talk about Talia’s father. Said things would never work out between them so she’d declined the offer to be his mate. It couldn’t be. And the Turn Skins were ultimately responsible for Shelly’s death. The Alpha bitch at the time, Maggie, had truly killed her, but none of the rest of that Pack had tried to stop her.

Micah glared at the shifter in his grip. The fact that Frank had not fought back, only grabbed Micah’s wrists was telling. As if he had too much to lose by letting Micah throw him off the land. He relaxed his grip, eliciting a sigh from Frank.

“Look. You don’t think I’d fly to Minnesota and then drive four hours into the middle-of-fucking-nowhere Wisconsin in the freezing-ass winter just to fuck with you, do you? Do you really think I value my life that little? Let us come in out of this ridiculous cold and sit down to discuss this like civilized beings, Micah.”

Frank pushed himself back from Micah and brushed at the lapels of his suit. “Can’t believe you wrinkled my suit. Do you have any clue how much this cost me? Now can we go in? It’s too cold out here even for my shifter blood.”

“We?” Micah’s nose twitched as two others exited the car. A human male and-Micah took another deep breath-a shifter female stood at the front of the vehicle. His nostrils flared as he took in her scent.

“Julia? You’ve gone to the Turn Skins?” Turning his head slightly to look at the classy blonde were-leopard, he wondered if he was losing his mind. “Does Tony know you’re here?”

“Tony is the one who suggested I come, Micah. He heard about this situation and asked me to intervene.” Julia came forward to take his hand. He stared into her concerned green eyes. “I’ve looked over the paperwork and it’s not good. Judge Lowery appointed me guardian ad litem at my request and Tony’s. I’ve left several messages on your voicemail. You should have known we were coming and why.”

A fist clenched relentlessly around Micah’s heart. Tony Pantera, his closest friend in New Orleans, knew about this? Why hadn’t he called? Then he remembered Gareth mentioning the messages. Only he’d been too immersed in losing Olivia. Had his losing control cost him his daughter as well? Micah waved a hand toward the lodge then followed the three into the warmth of the kitchen.

Once inside, he signaled a watchful Gareth to go upstairs and keep Talia out of sight. Gareth hadn’t finalized his plans to leave yet, but it was only a matter of time. Micah had asked him to stay until spring. Luckily they’d worked out a few signals in case silence was necessary.

Gareth gave a short nod, lips curling in disgust at the scent of his former Pack as he backed up the staircase. Micah waited until he was out of sight before pointing to the chairs.

“Sit. Get to the point. I have better things to do than listen to the lies of a Turn Skin.”

Frank surged to his feet but Julia placed a well-manicured hand on his arm. “Sit, wolfboy. Let me handle this.”

Micah felt some amusement at the look on Frank’s face at being coolly ordered to heel like he was a pet dog. But the Turn Skin leader sat even as he snarled at Julia. “Then state your piece, kitty-girl, and be thankful I don’t chow down on you.”

“I don’t do interspecies dating, Frank.” Julia flipped her hair over a slim shoulder as she turned to face Micah.

“Micah, this is serious and this is real. It’s an Alpha emergency that you ignored. Now the courts have made their initial decision and Talia is to go back to New Orleans with Frank.”

Micah would have come across the table if it hadn’t been Julia. As it was, his fists clenched until his knuckles cracked. He knew her and trusted her work as a top-notch criminal litigator. Added to that, Tony had asked her to come-that alone made his stomach threaten to rebel. If Tony had become this involved this quickly, he really had done himself no favors by ignoring the phone calls from New Orleans. As Julia continued to speak, her words seemed to reverberate in his brain. Talia. Turn Skins. Compound. Loss. Loss. Loss. How much more did they expect him to endure? His mate was gone, and now they wanted to strip him of his child as well?

Julia finished her statements and waited. The silence in the kitchen jerked him out of his tail-chasing spin. Reading the documents she placed in front of him, Micah tried to find a loophole, an escape clause, anything that wouldn’t result in Talia being taken away from him today. Not today-not ever. He didn’t think he had the strength to watch another love leave. But there were no outs, no places for him to run on this one.

“You are telling me…” Micah heard his voice break and growled. “You say Talia is Curtis’ daughter? That he and Shelly were lovers? And because of some will you just found, the Turn Skins, now called the Compound Pack, have guardianship over her?”

Julia sighed. She spoke slowly, gently, “No, Micah, not exactly. Yes, she is Curtis’ child. We found letters from Shelly confirming that. Wolfboy here is the anal type and has been going through all of the paperwork Slade never worried about. Talia has been remanded by the courts back to the Compound Pack. I’m here to make sure she’s properly taken care of. I’ll also help you find a good lawyer.”

Micah blinked rapidly. He hadn’t shed tears since his father’s death, though the pain he felt now tossed him back to that time. “Lawyer? Why do I need a lawyer?”

Frank barked a sharp sound of disgust. “What’s happened to you, Micah? You can’t invoke Pack law on this one. Because you ignored all the overtures we made, this is in the Louisiana court system. If you want to challenge for joint custody, you’re going to need a lawyer.”

He leaned in close. “A very good one. Don’t think I’m here of my own accord. I work for the Pack will. And my Pack wants this child. They think she won’t learn about Pack law with you. They see you as a lone wolf, Micah.”

The words burned into Micah’s brain. He’d said the same to Gareth not so long ago. And a month ago the Compound Pack would have been right. He hadn’t wanted the responsibility of his local Pack. He didn’t have a mate or a child to worry about.

Olivia and Talia had changed all that. For a brief moment he wished the old Turn Skin Pack still ruled. They would have just tried to steal Talia. Then he could have used the rage building in him to destroy them. But with Frank at the helm of the newly named Compound Pack, things had changed.

For them to approach him this way-legally-that took the wind out of him. Numbly he nodded at Julia. “Let me tell her.”

And he turned to Frank with a sneer. “Prepare for the fight of your life, Alpha.”

Micah held on to a post on the porch as the car pulled away. He could still hear Talia crying for him. Even though he’d told her he would come for her, she’d clung like a drowning child to a life raft. Rubbing his arms where her fingers had dug in, he let himself weep.

A hand on his shoulder brought him back to the painful realization that this wasn’t a dream but a true nightmare. He looked at Gareth.

“What are you doing here, Gareth? I thought you would leave too.”

“Not now, Micah. I took some time to clear my head and let you see the truth in my words. I’m sorry for what’s happened. Some of those messages were from Julia. I expected you would get them when you checked the phone.”

Raw with grief, Micah rasped, “I didn’t listen to them. I didn’t want to hear Olivia saying she needed me to return her things.” He looked up at Gareth. “She left some clothes here, you know. And now they’ve taken Talia.”

“I know, Micah. What are you going to do about it? You know you can’t do this alone.” Gareth stared at Micah briefly then looked away. “You have to step up to the plate, Micah. You’re going to have to get help from the Pack on this one.”

“I’m going to go to New Orleans. I will bring Talia home even if I can’t bring Olivia back. I can’t lose them both. And don’t talk to me about this Alpha crap. It’s not important to me at this moment. Getting Talia back is what matters.”

Heedless of the disbelief in Gareth’s face, Micah went inside to make phone calls and start redeeming favors owed. He would do whatever he had to do to get his daughter back where she belonged. With him. Then he would go convince Olivia where she belonged. But first, he had to get Talia.

That day seemed endless but finally he put the phone down, assured that he had the best possible legal team available on such short notice. He still had plenty of friends in New Orleans, some of them members of the Pack trying to steal his daughter. Those he hadn’t called, but he’d reached almost everyone else he knew in the Crescent City and solicited their advice and help. Only one person hadn’t answered his call and he wasn’t a legal aide.

No, that particular wolf was a swamp-dwelling bad boy who Micah intended to use if the courts didn’t see things his way. He clamped down on what was right and what was wrong. Talia was his Pack and he would have her home no matter what.

He went upstairs, knowing that sleep would not come easily. Toying with the idea of a whiskey nightcap, Micah shoved the thought aside. He didn’t need sleep badly enough to self-medicate. He was no weakling to use that crutch.

Morning sun burned against his lids. Micah groaned as he forced himself out of bed. Three hours of sleep would not make him the most intelligent shifter in the world. He vowed to try to sleep on the flight he’d booked that afternoon. Once he was in New Orleans, he could make himself rest so he wouldn’t snap under pressure.

At the kitchen table, hot coffee in hand, Micah jotted down a list for Gareth. Micah grimaced as he shoved his hair back. When a family had booked one of the cabins for the spring, there’d been an affirmative answer for their question about other kids for their daughter to play with. Shaking his head, he clenched his teeth. Talia would be here. There was no other possible outcome.

Micah raised his head, glancing toward the front door. He moved toward the porch and watched as an unfamiliar car pulled up to the front drive. A small smile broke across his face as the driver exited the car.
Well, I’ll be damned. Speak of the devil and that swamp wolf shows up on my land.
Tall, tan with brown hair falling below his shoulders, the driver stared at the front door for a moment until the passenger door of the car opened.

Micah watched as the small auburn-haired woman got out of the car. She smiled at the man, said something he couldn’t make out and then moved to the back car door. The man shook his head at her, opening the back door on his side of the car. Within moments the couple was heading toward the lodge, the man carrying a child carrier and huge diaper bag, the woman holding two toddlers by the hands.

Micah opened the door just as they stepped onto the porch. The woman released the children to throw herself against his chest with a huge smile as the man behind her growled softly. Micah knew it was instinctive, knew it wasn’t a challenge, so he ignored it to hug the woman briefly.