Changes (27 page)

At nine o'clock they went downstairs, stark naked and hand in hand. She made sandwiches and they came back upstairs and watched TV and laughed. “Just like married folk,” he teased, and she rolled her eyes and pretended to faint and he held her fanny comfortably in his hand. And Mel realized that she had never been as happy with any man. They slept together in her bed that night, and awoke to make love several times, and when he got up to go to his conference again, she got up with him, and made him coffee and scrambled eggs before he left. And when he was gone, she sat naked and alone, aching for the moment when he would return again.

CHAPTER 19

On Friday Mel went to the conference with Peter and listened to him speak, fascinated by what he said, and pleased for him by the reaction from the audience. His comments and slides and explanations of their latest techniques were met with continuous applause, and he was surrounded by his colleagues afterward for almost an hour, as Mel stayed at a discreet distance and watched him with pride.

“Well, what did you think?” he asked her when they were finally alone again that night. They had opted for a quiet dinner at home, since he was leaving the next day, and they wanted some time to themselves.

“I think you're sensational.” She smiled happily at him as they shared a bottle of white wine. She had bought great big Maine lobsters that day, reminiscent of the dinners they would have eaten at Martha's Vineyard. And she was going to serve them cold, with salad and garlic bread and chilled Pouilly-Fumé. “And I also thought their reaction was extremely good.”

He looked satisfied, and smiled.” I thought so too.” And then he leaned toward her and gently kissed her lips. “I' m glad you were there.”

“Me too.” And then a shadow crossed her eyes, thinking of the next day when he'd be gone again. They were leaving for the airport together the next day at eight
A.M.
His flight was at ten, and he would be back in Los Angeles by one o'clock their time, in time to see Pam and spend some time with her before she left for camp the next day. And when she dropped him off, Mel was heading back to Martha's Vineyard and her girls.

“What's wrong, love?” He took her hand in his. “You looked so sad just then.” And he wondered for the hundredth time since they'd first made love if she regretted getting involved with him. He would be leaving again after all, and neither of them knew when they would meet again. It seemed to be an uncertainty they constantly had to bear.

“I was just thinking of tomorrow when you leave.”

“So was I.” He put his wineglass down and then set hers down too and took her other hand in his. “It's a crazy life we lead, you and I.” She nodded and they smiled. “But we'll figure something else out.” And then he decided to pursue an idea he'd had before. “What about coming to Aspen with your girls? We go in about three weeks, and Valerie and Jessica would love it, Mel. It's a wonderful place for kids … for us … for anyone, in fact.” His eyes lit up at the thought. “And it would give us a chance to be together again.”

“But not like this.” She sighed and met his eyes with a rueful smile. “Our children would probably all go nuts if they realized what was going on.” At least his daughter would, but she knew that it would startle her daughters as well. There had been no time to prepare them at all. Peter was a stranger to them, a name they'd almost never heard, except in the context of her work. And then suddenly, “Zap! Guess what, girls, we're going to Aspen with him and his kids!” Melanie knew they'd have a fit.

“They'll adjust. And they don't have to know all the details.” He sounded so assured that Mel sat back and looked at him with a long, lazy, happy smile. For a man who had known no woman but his wife for the past twenty years, and no one at all since she had died, he seemed remarkably confident about things now, and Mel wasn't sure if it was indicative of what he felt for her, or simply a result of his constant poise.

“You're awfully relaxed about all this, beloved sir.”

He smiled at what she said. “I've never felt like this before, Mel. But it all feels so right.” At least it did there, in New York, in her pretty little sun-filled house, alone with her. Perhaps it would be different when they were surrounded by kids, but he didn't think it would. “I think our children will be able to handle it. Don't you?”

“I wish I were as sure. What about Pam?”

“She liked you when she met you in L.A. And in Aspen, everyone has something to do, hiking, walking, swimming, tennis, fishing, the music festivals at night. The kids always seem to meet old friends. In a way, they'd be less aware of us there because they have their own things to do.” But it sounded too easy to Mel, and she wondered how realistic he was. “Besides”—he moved closer to her and held her tight—“I don't think I can survive for more than a few weeks without you.”

“It seems like forever, doesn't it?” Her voice was soft and sad as she leaned her head against his chest and felt his warmth envelop her. “But I don't know if we should come to Aspen, Peter. That's a lot to push at them all at once.”

“What? That we're friends?” He sounded both surprised and annoyed. “Don't read something into it that they won't see.”

“They're not blind, Peter. They're all practically adults by now, except for Matt. They won't be fooled.”

“Who's fooling them?” He pulled away from her for a moment to look into her eyes. “I love you, Mel.” It was all he could think of each time he saw her face, every time she entered a room … whenever he thought of her.

“Do you want them to know that?”

He smiled. “Eventually.”

“And then what? We go our separate ways, living our separate lives three thousand miles apart, and they know we've had an affair? Think of how they'll feel about it.” She thought for a moment, her mind filled with a picture of Pam's haunted face. “Especially Pam.”

She sounded sincere and he sighed. “You think too much.”

“I'm serious.”

“Well, don't be. Just come to Aspen and let's have some fun, without worrying about the kids. They'll be fine. Trust me.”

Mel was bemused by his innocence. Sometimes she was surprised at how naive he was about his kids. But she had to admit that in spite of her reservations about the trip, she was anxious to see him again, and Aspen would provide a golden opportunity, if she could convince the twins to leave Martha's Vineyard for a week or two. She frowned as she considered what she would tell them when she went back.

“Don't worry so much, Mel. Just come.”

She smiled at him and they kissed and afterward she sat pensively sipping her wine. “I just don't know what to tell the girls about leaving Martha's Vineyard.”

“Tell them the mountains are better for their health.” She laughed and looked at him with her head tilted to one side. “Don't you like the beach?”

“Sure. But I love the mountains. All that good air, splendid views, good hikes.” She had never thought of him as being outdoorsy, but after the intensity of his work, it was easy to understand that he needed an outlet, and one on a grand scale. The mountains would provide that for him, but she had loved the beach since she was a child, and Martha's Vineyard was exactly what she wanted for her vacations with the girls.

“I could remind them about Mark”—she grinned—“that would convince Val anyway, but that headache we don't need.” He laughed at that.

“Maybe I should tell him about the twins before we go.” He didn't dare to ask her again that night if she was convinced, but the next morning, as they sat over coffee, he had to know. They were leaving the house in an hour for the airport, and his bags were already packed, and her little bag was too. She didn't plan to come back to the house in the city again until September. “Well, Mel, are you coming?”

“I wish I were.”

He set down his cup and leaned over to kiss her. “Will you come to Aspen at the end of the month, Mel?”

“I'll try. I have to think it out.” She had turned it over in her mind several times, and was still undecided. But if they didn't go, she might not see him again for months, and she didn't want that to happen either.

She set down her own cup with a sigh, and looked him in the eye. “I just don't know if it's a good idea for us to involve the children in what we feel.”

“Why not?” He looked upset.

“Because it may be too much for them to handle.”

“I think you're underestimating our children.”

“How are you going to explain our coming out there?”

“Does it have to be explained?”

“Oh, for God's sake, what do you think? Of course it does. How could you not explain it to them?”

“All right, all right. So we'll explain it. We'll tell them we're old friends.”

“Which they know damn well isn't true.” She seemed to be getting upset. He looked at his watch. It was seven thirty, and in half an hour they had to leave for the airport. There wasn't much time to convince her. And if she didn't come, God only knew when he'd see her again.

“I don't give a damn what you tell them, Mel, your children or mine. But I want you to come to Aspen.” He was beginning to sound bullheaded about it and it annoyed her.

“I have to think it over.”

“No, you don't.” He towered over her, looking as immovable as a marble column. “You've been making your own decisions for so damn long, that you don't know how to let yourself go and trust someone else.”

“That has nothing to do with this.” Their voices were rising. “You're being naive about how the children will react.”

“So what, for chrissake. Don't we have a right to a life too? Don't I have a right to love you?”

“Yes, but we don't have the right to screw up our kids for something that can't go anywhere, Peter.”

“And what makes you think that?” He was shouting now. “Do you have other plans?”

“I happen to live in New York, and you live in L.A., or don't you remember?”

” I remember perfectly, which was why I wanted to meet you halfway three weeks from now, or is that too much to ask?”

“Oh for chrissake … all right!” She shouted the words. “All right! I'll come to Aspen.”

“Good!” He glanced at his watch then. It was five minutes after eight, and he suddenly reached out and pulled Mel toward him. Time was moving too fast. They were supposed to have left five minutes before, and he couldn't leave her now. He kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair, smiling at his own thoughts.” I think we just had our first fight. You're a damn stubborn woman, Mel.”

“I know. I'm sorry.” She looked up at him and they kissed.” I just want to do the right thing, and I don't want to upset our kids.”

He nodded.” I know. But we have to think of ourselves now.”

“I haven't done that in a long time. Except to be sure I didn't get hurt.”

“I won't hurt you, Mel.” His voice was sad, it depressed him to think that she would defend herself against him too.” I hope to hell I never do that.”

“You can't help it. When people care about each other, they get hurt. Unless you stay at a safe distance all the time.”

“That's not living.”

“No, it's not. But it's safe.”

“Screw safe.” He looked down at her seriously.” I love you.”

“I love you too.” She still trembled when she said the words.” I wish we didn't have to leave yet.” They were going to have to run like hell to catch his plane, and he looked at his watch and then at her.

“I have a suggestion.”

“What's that?”

“I'll call home and get someone to cover for me for another day. If they survived this long without me, they can hang on for another day. What do you think?”

She smiled like a little girl and let her whole body sag against him. “I think that it sounds wonderful.” And then she thought of something. “What about Pam? Don't you want to see her before she goes to camp?”

“Yes, but maybe for the first time in almost two years, I'll do what I want to do for a change. I'll see her in three weeks when she comes home. She'll survive without me.”

“Are you sure?”

He looked very serious as he held her. “What about you? Can you go back to the Vineyard tomorrow?”

“Are you serious, Peter?” She turned to face him, amazed at his decision. But she could see instantly that he was serious about staying.

“Yes. I don't want to leave you. Let's spend the weekend together.” A smile dawned slowly in her eyes and she hugged him to her.

“You are the most remarkable man.”

“In love with the most extraordinary woman. I'd say we make quite an impressive couple, wouldn't you?”

“Yes, I would.” Her voice was soft as they stood together in her kitchen. And then she looked up at him with a small smile. “As long as you're not leaving right away, what do you say we go upstairs for a while, Dr. Hallam?”

“Excellent idea, Miss Adams.” She went upstairs and he followed her a moment later. He stayed in the kitchen, just long enough to call the doctor who was covering for him in L.A. and ask if he would mind staying on for two more days. His colleague teased him about it, but didn't seem to mind at all, and two minutes later Peter bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time with his long legs and he burst into Melanie's bedroom with a boyish grin. “I can stay!”