Changes (12 page)

“All right, you two. We have a guest. Several in fact.” He glanced severely at Pam, and then his eyes took in Mark's remaining friends. There were only two boys and one girl left and they were sitting quietly on the concrete nearby chatting and drying their hair. But it was as though Pam resented anyone in her home, except Peter and the boys and Mrs. Hahn, She had solved the problem of Mel by almost totally ignoring her since she'd arrived at the pool, except for furtive, curious glances from time to time, mainly when Peter was talking to Mel. It was as though she wanted to be sure there was nothing special going on, but some instinct deep within told her that danger lurked there.

“Isn't that right, Pam?” Peter had been talking about her school, but she had been intently staring at Mel and hadn't heard what he said.

“Huh?”

“I said that the athletics program there is outstanding, and you won two awards for track last year. And they have access to some fabulous stables too.” Again, it was very different from the school in which she had her girls, which was very much a sophisticated urban school. The life-style in L.A. was much more geared to the outdoors than what they had back East.

“Do you like your school, Pam?” Mel gently spoke to her.

“It's okay. I like my friends.”

At that, Mark rolled his eyes, quick to show that he disapproved, and Pam took the bait at once. “What's that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you hang around with a bunch of dumb uptight, anorexic girls.” It was a word that still made her scream.

“I am not anorexic, damn you!” She jumped to her feet, her voice shrill, and Peter began to look tired.

“Stop it, you two!” And then he addressed Mark. “That was unnecessarily cruel.”

Mark nodded, subdued. “I'm sorry.” He knew that the very word was now taboo, but he still wasn't convinced that she was totally cured. She looked unnaturally thin to him, no matter what she and her father said. He looked apologetically at Mel and sauntered off then, to talk to his friends, and Pam went back into the house, followed by Matthew, who was in search of something to eat. For a long moment, Peter sat quietly staring into the pool and then he turned his eyes to Mel.

“Not exactly a peaceful home scene, I guess.” He looked hurt by his children's actions and words, as though he had held himself responsible for all their turmoil and pain. “I'm sorry if it was awkward for you, Mel.”

“Not at all. It isn't always smooth sailing with mine either.” Although she couldn't even remember the last time she'd seen the twins have a fight, but this family still seemed in crisis and Pam seemed like a very unhappy girl.

He sighed and laid his head back against the chair, as he looked out at the pool. “I suppose eventually they'll all settle down. Mark will be going away to college next year.” But the problem was not Mark, as they both knew, it was Pam. And she wasn't going anywhere for a long time. Peter glanced at Mel again then. “Pam took her mother's death the hardest of all.” That much was easy to see, but Peter had taken it harder still, and still was. And what he needed, she sensed, was a woman to replace Anne, and for him to share his burdens with. He needed it as much for him as for the kids. It hurt to think of him so much alone. He was intelligent and attractive, capable and strong, he had a lot to offer anyone. And as she sat there beside him, she smiled to herself, thinking of Raquel and the girls. She could almost hear them ask: “What about you, Mom? … Was he cute? … Why didn't you go out with him? …” He didn't ask. And suddenly she wondered if she would go out with him on a date, if she had the chance. It was funny to think about, as they sat side by side at the pool. He was totally different from the other men she knew. The men she had chosen before were all ineligible in some subtle way. And she had liked it that way. But Peter was different from all of them. He was open and real, and an equal match for her. And more important than that, he appealed to her a great deal. It would actually have frightened her if she weren't leaving the next day.

“What were you thinking just then?” His voice was soft in the late-afternoon sun, and she pulled her thoughts back to him with a smile.

“Nothing much.” There was no reason to tell him about the men in her life, or even what she thought of him. There was nothing personal between them, and yet there was, some intangible presence that she felt when she was near him. It was almost like an illusion that she knew him better than she really did. But there was something very vulnerable about this man, which she liked. Considering who and what he was, he had remained very human, and now that she saw him here at home, she liked him even more.

“You were a million miles away just then.”

“No, not quite that far. I was thinking of some things in New York … my work … the girls …”

“It must be rough having to go away for your work.”

“Sometimes. But they understand. They're used to it by now. And Raquel keeps an eye on them while I'm gone.”

“What's she like?” He was constantly curious about her, and Melanie turned to him with a grin.

“Nothing like Mrs. Hahn. In fact, before I was thinking how totally different our lives are, externally at least.”

“How?”

“Our houses for instance. Yours is much more formal than mine.” She laughed then. “I guess mine is a hen house of sorts. It looks like a woman's house.” She glanced at his home. “Yours is much larger and more formal than mine. And so is Mrs. Hahn. Raquel looks like she has never learned to comb her hair, her uniform is always buttoned wrong, and she talks back all the time. But we love her, and she's wonderful with the girls.” He smiled at her description of Raquel.

“What's your house like?”

“Bright and cheery and small, and just right for me and the girls. I bought it a few years ago, and it scared me to death to take it on at the time, but I've always been glad that I did.” He nodded, thinking of the responsibilities she tackled alone. It was one of the things he admired about her. There was a lot about her he liked. And he was intrigued because she was so different from Anne. And then Melanie smiled at him. “You'll have to come to see me in New York sometime.”

“Someday.” But he instantly found himself wishing that it would be soon, and he wasn't sure why, except that she was the first person in a long time that he had opened up to. And before he could say anything more, Matthew returned with a plate of fresh cookies, and without a second thought, he plonked himself down beside Mel and offered to share the cookies with her. There were crumbs all over his face and his chubby little hands, and he dropped the rest all over himself and her, but she didn't seem to mind. Little boys were a novelty to her. They got into a serious discussion about his school and his best friend, as Peter watched, and then left them to go for a swim, and when he returned, they were still deeply engrossed in their talk, and Matthew had climbed into her lap and was nestled against her, and he seemed totally happy there.

As Peter climbed out of the pool, he stopped at the top of the ladder for a moment and looked at them with a sad smile. The boy needed someone like her, they all did, and for the first time in almost two years he realized how much had been missing from his life. But as the thought crossed his mind, he pushed it from him, and rejoined them with a quick step, grabbing a towel from a table as he approached and drying his hair, as though to chase the new thoughts he'd had from his head. And at that moment Mark's friends left, and he joined Melanie and Matthew, and sat down in Peter's empty chair.

“I hope my friends didn't drive you nuts.” He smiled shyly at her. “They get a little unruly at times.”

She laughed thinking of Val and Jessie's friends, they came near to destroying her house from time to time, and seemed no less unruly than Mark's friend. “They seemed fine to me.”

“Tell my dad that.” Mark smiled appreciatively at her, and tried not to notice how sexy she looked in his sister's bathing suit.

“What's that? Taking my name in vain again?”

Mark looked victoriously at him. He liked his father's new friend, and the girls had been tremendously impressed that Melanie Adams was just “hanging out” at their pool.

“Miss Adams thinks my group's not so bad.”

“She's just being polite. Don't believe a word of it.”

“That's not true. You should see Val and Jessie's friends. They gave a party once, and someone accidentally set fire to a chair.”

“Oh my God.” Peter cringed and Mark smiled. He liked her. She was so easy and open and natural, not like a TV star at all, and if Mel could have heard his thoughts she would have laughed. She never thought of herself that way, as a “TV star,” nor did the twins. “What happened after that?”

“I put the girls on restriction for two months, but I let them off the hook after one.”

“They're lucky you didn't send them to reform school.” Mark and Mel exchanged a conspiratorial grin in the face of Peter's tough stance, and Matthew, indifferent to it all, leaned a little closer to her, so she wouldn't forget him. She gently stroked his hair, and he didn't seem to mind having lost her ear. He knew that in her own way she was still paying attention to him. And at exactly that moment she happened to look up at the house, and saw Pam, standing almost hidden at her bedroom window, looking down at them. Their eyes met and held and then a moment later Pam disappeared. Melanie wondered why she didn't come back to the pool. It was almost as though she wanted to be left out. Or maybe she wanted Peter to herself, and didn't want to share him with her, or the two boys. She wanted to say something about it to Peter, but she didn't want to interfere. Instead the banter between them rambled on, until a slight breeze came up and they all began to feel the chill. It was after six o'clock by then, and Mel looked at her watch, and realized that she'd have to go soon. It was almost dinnertime and Peter had seen her look at her wrist.

“You haven't swum yet, Mel. Why don't you go in for a minute. And then we'll eat. Mrs. Hahn will go berserk if we're late.” It all seemed so mechanized, so perfectly run, and without being told, Mel knew it was all the legacy of Anne, who had run her home like a well-oiled machine. It wasn't Mel's style, but it was impressive to see. And it was part of what had kept them all going after she was gone, even though it would probably have done them all good to change now, if they could. But old habits were hard to break, especially for Peter and Mrs. Hahn. A moment later, the children left, and Mel dove neatly into the pool as Peter watched. She was so easy to have around and so good to see. He felt an enormous hunger well up within him again as she glided through the water with expert ease, and at last she returned to the side, her hair wet, her eyes bright, with a happy smile on her face, just for him. “You were right. This was just what I needed.”

“I'm always right. You needed dinner here too.”

She decided to be honest with him. “I hope the children don't mind too much.” She had already seen a great deal in Pam's eyes. More than Peter would have wanted her to see.

“I don't think they quite know what to make of my being here.”

Their eyes met and held and he approached the pool and sat down, unable to stop what he felt, or had to say. “Neither do I.” His eyes dug into her, and he was stunned by his own words, and Mel suddenly looked scared.

“Peter …” She suddenly felt that she should tell him something more about herself, her old scars, her fears of getting too deeply involved with men. And yet they both sensed that there was something strange happening to them.

“I'm sorry. That was a crazy thing to say.”

“I'm not sure it was … but… Peter …” And then, as she looked away from him, searching for her words, she glimpsed Pam at the window again, and an instant later she disappeared. “‘I don't want to intrude into your life.” She forced her eyes back to his.

“Why not?”

She took a deep breath and pulled herself out of the pool and he almost gasped as he saw the long, lean limbs and the white suit. This time he looked away, but he felt a wave of emotion wash over him. Her voice was almost too gentle as she spoke again. “Has there been anyone else since Anne?”

He knew what she meant and shook his head. “No. Not in that sense.”

“Then why upset everyone now?”

“Who's upset?” Peter looked surprised and Mel decided to be blunt.

“Pam.”

And with that Peter sighed. “That has nothing to do with you, Mel. The last couple of years have been hard on her.”

“I understand that. But the reality is that I live three thousand miles away and it's not very likely we'll see each other again for a long time. And what we're doing with the interview about you is exciting for both of us. And funny things happen to people when they go through something like that. It's like being cast adrift on a ship, you grow amazingly close. But tomorrow the interview will be complete and I'm going home.” Her eyes were almost sad as she said the words.

“So what harm will one dinner do?”

She sat pensively beside him for a long time. “I don't know. I just don't want to do anything that doesn't make sense.” She looked into his eyes again and saw that he looked sad too. It was crazy. They liked each other, almost too much, but what was the point?

“I think you're making too much of all this, Mel.” His voice was deep and almost gruff.

“Am I?” Her eyes never wavered from his and this time he smiled.

“No. Maybe I am. I think I like you a lot, Mel.”

“I like you too. There's no harm in that, as long as we don't get carried away.” But suddenly she wished they would. And it was crazy really, sitting there at the side of the pool talking of something that had never been and would never be, and yet there was something there. And Mel couldn't decide if it was illusion created by working so closely side by side for two days or if it was real. There was no way to know, and by the next day she'd be gone. Maybe there was no harm in one dinner after all, and she was expected to stay.

Peter looked down at her again and spoke softly to her. “I'm glad you're here, Mel.” He sounded like Matt, and she smiled.

“So am I.” And for a long moment their eyes met and held and Mel could feel cold chills run up her spine. There was something magical about this man. And he seemed to feel it too. He stood up with a happy smile on his face and held out a hand to her. He looked almost shy, and she smiled and followed him inside, glad that she had decided to stay. She went back to the guest room, and changed her clothes, rinsed out the bathing suit and went upstairs to return it to Pam, her wet hair pulled back into a knot, and her face lightly tanned with only mascara and lipstick on. There weren't many women her age who looked as well with almost no makeup on. And she found Pam sitting in her room, listening to a tape with a dreamy look on her face. She seemed almost startled to see Mel, who knocked on the open door and stepped in.