Chameleon Soul (Chequered Flag #1) (4 page)

Chapter Five

Raine

“You lying, backstabbing son of a—” I yelled, striding in through the front door and slamming it behind me so it cut off the rest of my words. On the drive home my fear had subsided and paved the way for anger. Unfortunately for Dustin, he was on the receiving end of my tirade, not that he didn’t deserve it for lying to me.

Dustin emerged from his room with a confused expression. “What did I do?”

“How could you tell me Teo wasn’t back when he was in the friggin’ factory!”

“Teo was there?”

I threw my hands in the air. “No, I’m reacting like this because I saw the goddamned Easter Bunny.”

“Shit,” he hissed under his breath. “Raine, you need to calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down. I’ve not seen him in a year and then I have a breakdown right in front of him. He was.
Never.
Meant. To. Know,” I said through gritted teeth.

Dustin paled and he scratched his head with unease. “I’m sorry, Raine. I really didn’t know he was back. I would have told you if I had.”

“He saw me, Dustin. He saw me lose it and he hates me.” My words came out in a hoarse choke, the anger flowing in my veins being replaced by humiliation and regret. I hung my head, my posture drooping. My plan to hide away for four weeks while the British Formula One racers were in town had been well and truly ruined.

“Come here.” Dustin took a step towards me, his arms out wide, drawing me into a hug. I collapsed into his arms, seeking solace in his embrace. “Why do you think he hates you?”

“He was so angry. I’ve never seen him like that before.”

“I’m sure you just shocked him, Raine. He didn’t expect you to be there, like you didn’t except to see him. It doesn’t mean he hates you.”

“He should. It would keep him away from me then, and I wouldn’t have to answer impossible questions,” I murmured against his chest.

“Maybe it was for the best?”

I pulled back, my eyebrow raised incredulously. I was hoping Dustin would expand on that statement because I couldn’t see any way for the situation to be considered good.

“How exactly is me seeing your man-whore of a brother a good thing?”

“You know he’s only like that because he’s not with you.”

I snorted and stepped from his grip. He was fanning the embers of anger that sparked within me, igniting them into burning flames again. “That doesn’t even make sense. He can’t have one girl so he has a different one every night. Where’s the logic in that?”

“Really, Raine? He’s trying to get over you.”

“Then why are you telling me it’s good we’ve seen each other? If he wants to move on, let him. I have.”

“Bullshit. Neither of you have moved on, and Teo never wanted to. That’s why it’s a good thing. Maybe you two can work this out. You were good together.”

“Keep talking like that and I’m going to think you planned for us to run into each other.”

He threw his gaze to the ceiling. “Raine, I love both of you, but you need your heads smashing together. I didn’t plan anything, although I
should
have. For some reason I’ve kept your asinine secret, but now Teo’s back I think you owe it to him to come clean. Cut him free totally if that’s what you want. However, if you still have feelings for him, don’t push him away.”

“What are you, my shrink?”

For a split second Dustin looked offended, and then his eyes clouded with annoyance. “No. I’m the person stuck in the middle between my brother and my best friend, and it’s only going to get worse with you both in the same country. I’m not choosing sides, so it would be a hell of a lot easier if you figured a way out of this limbo sometime soon.”

Dustin stalked back towards his bedroom. He didn’t slam the door, but he didn’t shut it gently either. The forceful click of the lock turning felt like a smack in the face. With it, everything I’d done to him forced its way into my mind. I’d put him in a difficult position and I was continually doing it. He’d stood by me for so long I’d never stopped to think about what the consequences were for him, and it couldn’t have been easy.

Guilt welled in my throat. Everything he’d said stabbed my heart and twisted deeper. I hadn’t moved on. Seeing Teo today only proved that. However, I didn’t want to believe Dustin’s words that Teo hadn’t either.

With a sigh, I slumped into my room and collapsed face first on my bed.

* * *

It was a few hours later when muffled voices drifted through the thin wood of my door. I couldn’t hear what they were saying and was curious as to who Dustin would invite over.

“Hey, Dustin, is that Nadine?” I shouted, pacing towards the kitchen where I could hear the clanging of mugs. Appearing in the doorway, I jumped back with a squeal. The tensed, muscular back and short brown hair definitely didn’t belong to Nadine.

“W-w-what are
you
doing here?” Great, I’d developed a stutter. It took all of the fury from my words, making me sound like a bumbling idiot. Heat flared in my cheeks and I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole.

Both of the guys turned to face me. From the corner of my eye I caught Dustin’s smirk. I couldn’t see his mouth behind the mug as he brought it to his lips, yet his eyes were crinkled in amusement. Most of my attention was focused on Teo. He leaned back against the counter with a dark, unreadable expression. The grip he had on his mug was too tight, and his jaw locked in anger.

Like he even had the right to be angry. He was the one standing in
my
kitchen.

“He’s picking me up. We’re going out for a drink,” Dustin stated bluntly when it became clear we were only going to remain staring at each other.

Breaking the connection with Teo, I rounded on Dustin with a glower. “And you couldn’t have met him wherever you’re going?”

“This is my home too, Raine. If I want to invite my brother here I can.”

This wasn’t a coincidence. I had believed him earlier, but this was too much. He was doing this on purpose, and the thought that Dustin was beginning to change sides had my heart constricting painfully.

Why was he doing this to me?

After so many months of support, I thought he’d be the last person to betray me.

“Wait.
You’re
living with
her?
” Teo barked at Dustin, his nostrils flaring.

I assumed Dustin would have told him about our living situation. Then again, it was only today he’d betrayed me.

Guilt flooded Dustin’s face. He lowered his gaze to the rim of his mug, not responding.

I should have hated myself for making him choose between family and friends, but I didn’t.

When neither of us responded, Teo spoke again. “How long have you been living together?”

“Almost a year now.”

Teo stiffened, taking in a sharp breath. He turned his murderous gaze on me, his usually warm eyes icy. “Is that why you left me? To be with him? You two always were unusually close.”

“Come on, Teo. Don’t be a jackass,” Dustin said.

How dare he come into my home, the one place I felt safe, and ruin that! He was invading my sanctuary.

When Dustin placed a hand on Teo’s shoulder, Teo shook him off instantly. “Are you, or are you not together?”

“Not!” Dustin cried at the same time I shouted, “Why the hell does it matter if I live with Dustin?”

Both of them whirled on me.

“Because it should have been me!”

I gasped at Teo’s outburst, my hand flying to cover my mouth. I could only stare at Teo, my gaze not wavering from his almost black eyes as he matched my glare. His breathing was ragged, and the resentment began transforming into regret as if he’d finally realised what he had said.

He lowered his gaze and refused to look at me. Tears started to burn the backs of my eyes.

I knew he hated me.

The minute ounce of hope that he still wanted me vanished at the expression of regret. It had been an automatic reaction for him seeing as we’d been together so long. He’d spoken without thinking, and then when it caught up with him he’d realised it wasn’t at all what he wanted.

Dustin regarded me with sympathy. He opened his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it.

“Just…g-get o-out,” I stuttered. “Please leave.”

I hightailed it out of the kitchen to return to my room. Slamming the door behind me, I sank against the wood, my knees buckling so I slid to the floor.

I was staring up at the ceiling trying to blink back the tears when Dustin’s voice came from the other side of the door.

“Raine?”

“Will you go, Dustin? Please…”

“Raine, open the door.”

“Get out of here!” I screamed, tuning the lock for good measure then shuffling over to my bed and throwing myself onto it. When I didn’t get a reply I assumed he’d listened to me.

How was I meant to face Teo again after that?

Chapter Six

Teo

“Get your stuff and I’ll meet you at the car in a minute,” Dustin snapped, throwing me his keys. I caught them easily, spinning the key ring around my finger, yet I didn’t make any move to leave.

“God help me, Teo, if you’re not out of this flat within five seconds—”

I held up my hands, cutting off his threat. Not that I thought there was anything he could do to me.

Crossing the tiny space they shared—I was still having a hard time processing that—I hovered by the front door. Dustin stood outside Raine’s bedroom door and when I hesitated to see what he would say to her, he glared at me and pointed fiercely over my shoulder.

With a huff, I headed down to the car and attempted to make sense of what I’d just seen. I hadn’t meant for those words to slip out; the anger in me had taken over. Nonetheless, I’d meant every word. It should have been me she moved in with. Though she wasn’t aware of it, I’d bought a fucking house for the two of us before she dumped me. It was meant to be a surprise.

I heard footsteps, then saw Dustin striding towards me with angry steps, his fists balled at his side. He looked like he wanted to punch me, and if he had I probably wouldn’t have stopped him. The sadness on Raine’s face that had appeared at my words made me want to hit myself, even if it didn’t make sense.

“What the hell was that?” he hissed.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.”

“No way, you’re explaining yourself first.”

I threw him the keys. “It just slipped out, okay? That’s all.”

“You still have feelings for her, don’t you?”

“That’s none of your business. Speaking of which, how the fuck did it not cross your mind to tell me you’re living with her?”

“Because I knew you’d react like this. Low blow, by the way. How could you even insinuate I’d date Raine? You know we’ve been friends for ten years. I was the one who introduced you!”

I opened the car door and leaned on it. “I know, I’m sorry. It was the shock of seeing her. I’ve had nothing for a year, and then all of a sudden twice in one day.”

Dustin’s posture began to relax and his fists uncurled. “I’m sorry for not telling you, but I didn’t know how to bring it up. We’ve never spoken about her and I didn’t want to start anything. I assumed you didn’t want to know.”

Unfortunately, I saw his point. After Raine left me and ignored all of my attempts to contact her, I decided to cut all ties. Dustin had the sense not to mention her and therefore over the year I’d forgotten how close they were.

Seeing her again only ripped open old wounds, not that they’d healed completely anyway.

Thank fuck we were heading to the pub because I needed something stronger than coffee after
that
meeting.

“Listen, I know you’re mad with her and I don’t blame you, but…” Dustin trailed off, his gaze pensive. I’d come to know the look well. It was always the expression he wore when he had something he wanted to say and didn’t know where to start.

“Spit it out, Dust. It’s written all over your face that you want to say something to me.”

He inhaled deeply and it took him another minute to speak. “Take it easy on Raine, yeah?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

My brow furrowed in confusion. What did he think I was going to do to her? Sure, part of me still resented her for the way she’d broken up with me, but that didn’t mean I was about to dump a year’s worth of shit on her. At least I was going to try not to.

“Just…don’t push her to do or say anything. No doubt you’ll see her around if you stay here all of the break, and if she acts a little weird, pretend you don’t notice it. She’s not the same Raine you knew.”

“Why would she act weird?” I glanced around the empty street. I didn’t really want to have this conversation out in the open. The press were already hounding my manager to explain my earlier outburst or give them the name of the girl, but I wasn’t moving until I got an answer.

“It’s been a rough year for her, and she’s finally starting to pull herself back together. I don’t want you screwing it up if you’re not planning on sticking around.”

“Why’s it been rough?” A wave of emotions powered through me; fear, worry, and anger that I’d been left out of the loop. Even if we weren’t together I assumed Dustin would have told me if something bad happened.

“It’s not my story to tell, Teo. All I’m saying is if you notice things she does and they seem odd, don’t call her out on them. That flat is one of the few places I see the old Raine and I don’t want to lose that.”

If he thought he was going to get away with not telling me he could think again. “Dustin—”

“No, Teo. It’s Raine’s story to tell and I will not betray her trust like that. I’ve already done that enough by bringing you here.” His voice reached a level of ferocity I rarely heard.

“Okay, okay. I won’t ask again. Why
did
you bring me here, anyway?”

“You two are better together than apart. She shouldn’t have given up on you, and you shouldn’t have given up on her.”

“I didn’t—”

“You did. You didn’t fight for her, but that’s not my point. My point is you both miss each other and are too stupid to do anything about it.”

“Hey!”

“What part of what I said is untrue?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “None of it.”

“Good. Then what are you going to do about it?”

I ignored him and shifted my hand to the roof of the car. “How about you? How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine. We’re talking about you right now.”

“Really? Because your black eye and swollen mouth say differently,” I probed.

Dustin hadn’t been the same since Elora broke his heart, and even though I didn’t have the full story, I knew she repeatedly left him in pieces. That much was clear.

“I’ll get over it. Now back to you.” The bastard smirked at me. He knew exactly what he was doing.

“Why do you even think she still likes me? That’s not the conclusion I’ve drawn from her reactions today.”

“She doesn’t like you, Teo. She’s still in love with you. She never stopped loving you. Even if she wants to hate you, her heart won’t let her.”

I snorted indignantly. “Yeah, sure. Because the way you show you love someone is to leave them.”

“She had her reasons, Teo. I know she still loves you.”

“Then why the dramatic reactions?”

“You know she’s followed your whole career, right? Never missed a race.”

“What do you want me to say, Dust?”

“That you won’t give up on her. She needs you back, and I think you need her. I’ve seen you both miserable for too long and I’m done standing on the sidelines watching.”

The only response I gave him was a curt nod as I slipped into the car. He’d dumped a lot of information on me and my mind was on overload. The only thing I was certain of was that if something was wrong with Raine, I wanted to know what it was. I hadn’t come home looking for answers, but things were obviously bigger than I once thought, and Dustin was right—last time I hadn’t fought for her.

* * *

“Come on, Coates. I’ll even let you have first pick.” Zeke clapped me on the back, throwing his eyes towards the end of the bar. Two blondes were leaning on the top, deliberately showing their impressive racks to anyone interested. Every now and then they’d glance over at us invitingly. One even gave me a wave and a flirty smile.

Usually it would be an offer I couldn’t refuse. However, tonight my head was a fucked-up mess. Picking up my beer bottle, I took a final swig and slammed it back down on the bar, empty. “Not tonight, Zeke.”

“Come on. They’re desperate and easy, exactly the way you like them.”

My insides cringed at that, at what I’d become. It had been mutual satisfaction: they got to say they slept with me, and I got the distraction I was after. Now, all I could picture was Raine. There wasn’t one person in the bar who outshone her or could banish her image from my mind.

“If you don’t, I will.”

I gestured towards them. “Go right ahead. I’ve got to make sure dipshit here doesn’t end up in a cell for the second night running.”

“I heard that. I’m not going to do anything stupid,” Dustin grumbled from beside me, momentarily looking up from the deck of cards he’d been shuffling for the last hour or so. Why he had to bring them was beyond me.

“You were meant to. And you’re cut off, by the way,” I said when he lifted a hand to signal the bartender over.

“What? Why? That’s my first.”

“Because you’re driving home. If that’s not enough of a reason, you have a race this weekend and you’re not going into free practice with a hangover.”

I ignored Dustin’s unintelligible response and watched as Zeke approached the girls. Within a minute he had one under his arm and was pointing at me. Quickly, I calculated how far I’d get if I made a run for it, since the girl was already sashaying towards me. She added a deliberate sway to her hips and wore a sultry smile, obviously trying to entice me. All it did was turn me off her even more.

She had her arms around my neck and her body pressed against mine before I even had time to react. Her nails scraped against the back of my neck, running over the short hair there as she looked at me with hooded eyes.

Someone wasn’t short on confidence.

“Your friend said you could do with having a good time.” She pressed her hips further into me as if it wasn’t obvious enough what she wanted to begin with.

I was going to kill Zeke.

“Sorry, I’m not looking for that tonight.”

“You’re always looking for it. You’re Teo Coates, infamous for his one-night stands. You’re always up for it. I can feel it.”

What she could feel was my mobile in my front pocket. Not one thing about her was remotely attracting me. In fact, it only made me realise how empty my life had become that I resorted to screwing chicks like this.

Placing my hands on her hips, I forced her to take a step back. “Sorry, I’m not interested.”

“One kiss?” She pouted, her bottom lip jutting out. Was she really that desperate? She closed the gap between us and crushed her lips to mine. It felt like I was being kissed by a sea lion.

I broke free of her grip and pushed her away. “I told you, I’m not interested.”

I swivelled on the stool to face the bar and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Disgusting.

How had I ignored all of the negatives before? They were desperate, easy chicks who probably got around as much as me. They weren’t attracted to me for who I was; they were attracted to the fame and money. The biggest thing I couldn’t understand how I ignored was that none of them were Raine.

Dustin shuffled his cards. The constant repetitive movement in the corner of my eye distracted me enough to prevent me from heading over to Zeke and punching him in the face.

“What’s up with that?” I jerked my chin at the deck.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “Better than getting off with anything that moves.”

“All right, time to head home. I forgot what an ass you are when you drink.”

Dustin snorted, placing his deck back in the box. “It’s not the drink and you’re the ass. I’m the good brother, the one who stays. I don’t fuck hundreds of women because I can’t deal with my feelings, and I don’t forget about those who are important. She didn’t forget. Even when it broke her heart to see it, she supported you.”

I snapped my mouth shut at Dustin’s words. Grinding my teeth together, I wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him from the stool.

“Hey, Zeke! We’re off, man,” I called over the music. He acknowledged me with a nod. “And you know fuck all about my feelings,” I hissed at Dustin.

“I know more than both of you, and you wouldn’t care if I hadn’t hit a nerve. Do us all a favour and stop with the women.”

“Did you see me with anyone tonight? I haven’t been with anyone since I got back.”

“Wow, a whole few days,” Dustin said in mock despair. “What about the blonde?”

“Zeke sent her over and I pushed her away. You heard me tell her I wasn’t interested.”

“Didn’t stop you from sticking your tongue down her throat first.”

“Hell, Elora’s really done a number on you.”

“You don’t know shit.”

I smirked. “What? You don’t like it when it comes back at you?”

“I get to have a say when you’re hurting my best friend. You involved me when you decided to hook up with her three years ago. If you didn’t want my opinion, then you should have picked someone else. I’ll shut up for now, though.”

Dustin strode off to the car ahead of me, his body tense. What he’d said was true, yet it was my coping mechanism. I didn’t want any of those one-night stands, but in a small, twisted way, I wanted Raine to see and for her to hurt as much as she hurt me.