Censored by Confucius (25 page)

"Why don't you come with me to see him and we'll try to get your money back and resolve this case once and for all. But what possible use would you have for the money now that you're dead?"

"Although I myself would have no use for it, my wife and children would be very grateful for such a sum. When it is repaid can I entrust you to take it to them for me?" the ghost replied.

Li agreed to this request and they continued on their way.

Several days later they arrived at the outskirts of the capital. Wang then told Li to go on to his relative's alone, saying, "This relative of yours is a miserly fellow, and I suspect that if we just go and talk it over with him, he'll refuse to hand over the money.

"What I propose to do is haunt him and his family for a while, and when they've failed to exorcize me from their house you can come along and explain the situation to him. They might be more inclined to believe you then."

Having explained his plan, Wang the ghost disappeared.

Scholar Li then went into the city alone. He found some lodgings and waited three days before going to see his relative.

When he reached the house he was told that his relative had been struck by a disease that rendered its victims quite insane. The ailing man's family had called in a fortuneteller and then a spirit medium, but neither had been able to do anything for the man.

As soon as Li walked in the door of the sickroom, however, the ailing man yelled out, "My savior has arrived at last!"

Li was greeted enthusiastically by Wang's family, who quizzed him about the meaning of the invalid's outburst. Li then told them the tale of bribery and explained how the debt could be paid.

Wang's wife suggested that they repay the debt with ghost money and was quite prepared to burn millions of taels' worth.

The sick man just laughed out loud, saying, "What sort of a deal is that? Repaying a debt of real money with fake money? No deal is that simple in the business world! Hurry up and give Mr. Li the five hundred gold pieces that you owe me. Then I'll leave you in peace."

Seeing that there was no choice in the matter, Wang's wife handed over the money. As promised, the illness then disappeared.

A few days passed and then Li was visited in his lodgings by the
ghost, who wanted Li to begin the journey back to his widow and children immediately.

Li refused, explaining, "I haven't sat my examinations yet."

The ghost then said knowingly, "You're going to fail, so why bother?"

Li didn't believe him and carried on with his preparations. When he had completed all three sessions the ghost returned and began pestering him to leave. Li refused again. "I want to wait for the results."

"What's the point in waiting for the results? You're going to fail anyway!" the ghost replied.

When the results were eventually posted, Li had indeed failed.

"Now are you ready to leave?" the ghost teased him.

Li was depressed and also a little embarrassed, but he nevertheless made a start that very day.

Together again, they departed on their boat journey. Li noticed that the ghost never ate anything but did enjoy smelling food. As soon as he had sniffed at it, the food turned cold.

They stopped at a town along the river and took lodgings together. The ghost told Li there was an opera he was keen to see, so Li went with him and the two of them stood right up close to the stage.

After a few acts the ghost suddenly disappeared. When Li turned to look for him a huge gust of wind blew up, throwing rocks and sand across the audience. It was nearly dark when Li returned alone to the boat.

When the ghost finally appeared he was dressed in expensive clothes. He explained his transformation thus: "I won't be returning with you. I have been asked to stay here and be the god of war, Guandi."

Li was absolutely scandalized. "How dare you pose as Guandi?"

The ghost replied, "All the Guandis and goddesses of mercy that you see around you are ghostly imposters. The townsfolk were holding that opera to thank their particular Guandi, but that guy is nowhere near as worthy as me!

"I got really angry at the thought of this worthless fellow holding such a position, so I decided to pick a fight with him. I've chased him off now, well and truly. Didn't you notice all those stones being blown up?"

He then thanked Li for his help and bade him farewell.

Li continued on to the ghost's village and gave his widow and children the five hundred gold pieces.

In Which the Ghost Sues Her Loved One

In Zhenjiang there was a young man by the name of Bao who was most handsome and, some thought, sexually attractive in the extreme. He married a young woman from the Wang family, but because he had succeeded to a long line of merchants, he was often away on business or out entertaining customers and friends.

In the autumn of 1780 Bao and several of his friends went carousing in the red-light district. They progressed from brothel to brothel and it was extremely late by the time Bao set out for home.

Mistress Wang was in her kitchen with an old serving woman preparing dinner when there was a knock at the door. She asked the servant to answer it, and when the door was opened the servant saw a well-dressed, heavily made-up young woman. The old woman asked her name but received no reply. Deciding this silent visitor must be a relative, she welcomed her in and went to tell her mistress.

Mistress Wang hurried to the front room to greet the mysterious visitor but found only her husband, Bao, sitting there. She laughed at the old woman for her silly mistake, but stopped short when she noticed that Bao's mannerisms were those of a woman.

The visitor stood up and said with grace and due decorum, "Your husband, Mr. Bao, was drinking at a brothel. I waited outside and came home with him."

Wang examined the performance closely—the body was Bao's but the voice and mannerisms were not his at all.

Her first thought was that Bao had gone insane, so she called for the houseboys and sent them to fetch the rest of the family. They all gathered in the front room and the visitor greeted each of them very politely and with the utmost propriety—but adopting the manners and form usually reserved for aristocratic women.

Some of the men had a great laugh at this and made a few indecent proposals and rude gestures to the feminized Bao.

The ghost within Bao responded angrily, "I am a virtuous woman. Come near me and I'll kill you!"

Perplexed by this sudden change, the family asked what grievance she had against Bao.

She replied in a calmer voice, "The hostility that has been generated between Mr. Bao and myself has romantic origins. I have lodged nineteen separate complaints against him with the city god for failing to reciprocate my love. I have had no satisfaction with that course so now I've lodged a complaint at Lord Dongyue's temple.

"Lord Dongyue has finally given me the opportunity for an official hearing, so Bao and I will go and resolve the case during the next few days."

They asked for her name but the ghost replied, "I am from a good family and I will not release my name."

Someone else then asked, "What charges are you laying?"

The ghost then listed nineteen separate offenses, but did so very quickly, and so nobody was really sure of the details.

Basically, she wanted Bao prosecuted for not returning her love and thereby causing her to be a homeless, drifting ghost.

The next question was, "Now that you're in Bao's body, where is his soul?"

She smiled. "I've tied him up and locked him in the little room next to the city god's temple."

This was all too much for Bao's wife. She dropped to her knees and entreated the ghost to release her husband, but her pleas were ignored.

Later that night a few of the relatives discussed the matter. One of them said, "The ghost told us that she'd had no luck filing her complaint with the city god, and yet she's locked Bao up near his temple. How about if we go and explain the whole problem to the city god? He might be able to make sure that justice is carried out."

Thus decided, they gathered together the necessary candles and incense, but just as they were about to step out the door the ghost appeared from nowhere and confronted them: "You're going to get help from the city god, aren't you? Don't bother, I'll release Bao now and we'll let Lord Dongyue give his verdict."

In an instant, Bao collapsed in a heap on the floor. It wasn't long before he regained consciousness, complaining of unbearable exhaustion. Everyone bustled around, interrogating him about the strange incident.

Bao related the course of events as follows: "When I left the brothel
I saw this woman following me and I grew increasingly suspicious when after some time she was still there. Just as we came to the courtyard outside the Academy, she rushed forward and pushed me into a small room just to the left of the city god's temple. My arms and legs were bound and I was tossed in a heap on the floor.

"It appeared that I was not alone, for even though I saw nobody, I felt that I was being guarded. Next thing I knew, the woman had returned to tell me she would let me go.

"She pushed me out the door and I tripped and fell. Now I'm here! As far as I know, it's all going to be sorted out tomorrow by Lord Dongyue."

This wasn't a sufficient explanation for his anxious relatives, but their questions went unheeded because Bao promptly fell into a deep sleep. When he woke late in the afternoon of the following day, his first instructions were to have a feast prepared for the legal officers that had arrived. He then went into the front hall and bowed and gestured as if he was welcoming guests.

Although he said quite a few things, nothing was comprehensible to the astonished family that had gathered around him.

After the feast was laid out Bao went back to bed. Around the first watch of the evening he passed away, but because his chest was still slightly warm, Mistress Wang and other close family members kept a constant vigil over the body.

During the night his face changed color several times. It was sometimes blue, sometimes yellow, and sometimes red. There was no obvious pattern to the color changes. Around the third watch, they noticed red scratches on his chest, cheeks, and throat.

The next night, around the second watch, his hair became disheveled and lost its texture.

Towards dawn of the third day he woke up and demanded rice and tea. He gobbled down more than ten bowls of rice and numerous pots of tea at such a pace that his watching relatives grew frightened. However, his general state improved after this tremendous meal and he then gave detailed instructions to those around him. More wine and food was to be prepared by Mistress Wang herself for the officers from the underworld who accompanied him.

Six thousand cash in ghost money was to be burned, but they had to make sure that none of the notes were crumpled or torn. Four thousand of these were to be burned in front of the lounge and the remaining two
thousand in the lane that ran along the side entrance to the house.

Bao himself then rose and went to the gate, bowing repeatedly and gesturing like one who was seeing off guests. He then returned to his bed and slept for two days.

After this rest he was able to tell his family what had happened. In the afternoon of the day after the ghost had released him, two officers of the law from the underworld had come to fetch him. He recognized one of them as a former classmate, Merchant Chen's young son who had died three years earlier, but the other officer was a stranger.

The Chen family were quite poor, so when it came time for this young fellow to marry, Bao had helped out by giving him a few thousand cash.

Chen said to Bao, "Your case is currently before the court, so it has certainly been investigated. Don't worry, though. We've been friends a long time now, and I have not forgotten your past kindness. I'll not put the cangue and chains on you."

On their way to the courtroom they passed two other officers who were guarding the chained ghost. Writhing in anger, she butted Bao and then scratched his face—hence the marks on Bao's body. She cursed the officers and demanded to know why Bao wasn't chained, so Bao was duly restrained.

They walked for what seemed an eternity into darker and darker regions where a fierce, cold wind tossed Bao's hair wildly. Finally they arrived at a place that looked rather like a courtroom and here both prisoners were told to sit on the ground and wait.

The light of two red lanterns could be seen moving towards them from within the building, and at this signal the officers came forward and removed Bao's chains. He was ordered to kneel at a spot just before the lanterns.

Then Bao saw the magistrate's bench, piled with documents. Behind it sat an official wearing a gown of red and black gauze.

As the magistrate smoothed his beard he asked, "Are you Bao?"

Bao replied in the affirmative and then the ghost was summoned.

She also knelt on the steps in front of the bench and answered a variety of questions, but although Bao was only about a foot away, he couldn't hear a word. He could see, however, that at one point the magistrate became extremely angry and ordered one of the officers to slap the ghost about the face fifteen times or so.

She then had her chains put back on and was dragged back crying and weeping by the two officers.

At this point, Bao was still on his knees in front of the bench. It was as if he were kneeling in mud. The cold was unbearable, and whenever the chilly wind picked up and blew across his face, he felt as if he were being stabbed by knives.

As the ghost was being slapped, Officer Chen leaned down and wh
ispered to him, "You have won the case. I'll tidy up your hair for you."