Cautious (Sequel to Disastrous) (8 page)

Jeremy slightly bent his head back and exhaled deeply. “It’s hard
to explain what I’m feeling.” He looked back at me and pressed his lips as his
brows kneaded together in confusion. “When I’m around Megan, I’m happy and
nervous, both at the same time. Does that make sense?”

Nodding with a knowing smile, I said, “Perfect sense.”

“Yeah?” He shook his head with a rugged moan. “It’s confusing. I
feel like I have to be around her all the time, and when I’m not, I think about
her constantly. In the beginning, I tried to go on dates with other girls, to
take away the thoughts I had of Megan. Though, every time I was on a date, I
began nitpicking every little detail in my head of why that particular girl
wasn’t right for me.”

“Like no elbow room?”

“Exactly, and because of you and how close we are, I didn’t want
to ruin our relationship if I turned into my usual dickhead self. These
feelings are new to me, Mia. I just don’t want to let her or you down.”

“Jeremy, you could never let Megan or me down. Just be your usual
dickhead self, minus the prowling, and you’ll be just fine.”

His laugh echoed the room, causing me to burst into a hard laugh
right along with him. “Alright, enough of this mushy, girly shit.” He pushed
back, spreading his arms wide, with brows molded together. “You sure I look
alright?”

“You look awesome. If I know Megan well enough, I would say
she’ll probably skip dinner and go straight for the car sex.” I winked.

He laughed again, kissed my forehead, and left without another
word. Sighing in contentment, I turned on my heels and headed toward my
bedroom.

***

An hour after Jeremy left, I showered, brushed my teeth,
and combed my hair into a ponytail. There was no need to doll up, so I threw on
a pair of black leggings and my favorite University sweatshirt. Since Marcus
was bringing the movies, I placed an order for pizza and wings. As I poured a
glass of wine, the doorbell rang.

Perfect timing.

After swinging the door open, my smile faded as I saw the
troubled expression on Marcus’s face. He shrugged his shoulders slightly,
mouthed “sorry” as he tilted his head, directing my eyes downward. Elle was
standing in front of him with a backpack in her hand.

“Hi, Mia!” Elle chirped.

With a smile, I bent my knees so that we were at eye level and
pulled her in for a hug. “Elle, I’m so happy you’re here.”

Her lips curled into a huge grin, and then she ran into the
apartment. Marcus followed in behind her. Leaning in, he landed a kiss on my
forehead. “I’m sorry, babe.” He whispered. “Jimmie had a date and I—”

“Whoa, Jimmie’s on a date?”

“Yeah, he met someone at Elle’s school. Her son and Elle are in
the same class. They’ve been spending quite a bit of time together. Elle
doesn’t know. Jimmie doesn’t want her to know just yet.”

“Oh my God, that’s amazing that he’s dating. I’m happy for him.”

Elle ran up to us and pulled on Marcus’s jacket. “Uncle Marc,
show Mia the movies we got.”

With a light groan, Marcus’s eyes widened. “Ah, yes, the movies.”
The three of us walked to the living room and sank down onto the quilt. He pulled
each one out of the bag. “You have a choice of three:
The Little Mermaid
,
The Lion King
, and
Beauty and the Beast.
” Marcus raised his brows
mockingly as he held all three in both hands.

Elle glanced at me with an expression as if it were a very difficult
decision to make. “So which one would you like to see, Mia?”

I pursed my lips to try and hold back my laughter as I looked over
the selections in Marcus’s hand. “Well, I love all three, but if I have to
choose only one, my favorite is
Beauty and the Beast
.”

Elle nodded. “Good choice, that’s my favorite too.” Tilting her
head, she faced Marcus. “Well, Uncle Marc,
Beauty and the Beast
it is.”

Marcus deeply sighed as he stood and headed toward the flat
screen. He placed the movie into the Blue-ray player and pressed play. The
previews began. “Marcus, would you like anything to drink?” I asked.

“You have anything strong?”

Laughing, I stood. “I have wine.” He nodded his head and then
looked over at Elle. “Elle, would you like something to drink?”

“What do you have?” she asked, looking at me.

“Grape juice?”

“Sure!”

Smiling at her, I added, “Anything else?”

Her eyes scanned over the junk food. “Do you have any fruits or
veggies?” Where was this little girl from? Planet thirteen going on thirty?

Marcus cocked a brow, “Elle, you know better than—”

“No, it’s fine, seriously. I do have fruits and veggies. I’ll
bring them right over, Elle.” She smiled at me widely and then turned her head
back toward the flat screen.

I made my way toward the kitchen and into the fridge. Marcus
followed behind me. He grabbed a glass and filled it with wine. I smirked at
him as I began to chop up and prepare some produce for Elle.

Leaning back against the counter, he studied me. “You find all of
this amusing, don’t you?”

“You have to agree it’s hilarious.” I winked.

Marcus took a gulp of wine and then made his way to me. Nestling
behind me, he wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my
shoulder. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered in my ear, following with
feather-like kisses along the nape of my neck.

“I’ve missed you too.”

He remained in that position as he gently swayed our hips from side
to side, humming to a soft beat. I continued to chop an apple, smiling and
laughing under his embrace. “I’m sorry about tonight, Mia. I know it was
supposed to be just the two of us. I’ll make it up to you.”

Baffled, I stopped what I was doing and turned in his arms to
face him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I ran my fingertips through the
back of his hair. “Marcus, don’t ever feel sorry about bringing Elle. I love
and enjoy being around her.”

Marcus leaned down and placed a kiss on the tip of my nose.
“That’s one of the reasons why I love you so much.”

“Because I accept your family? Of course I do.”

“That, and because I know one day you’re going to make an amazing
mother.” He reached down and planted a kiss on my lips. Those words caught me
off guard. An amazing mother? Marcus and I hadn’t discussed the loss of our
baby since that day in the parking lot—the day I told him about the miscarriage.
Hearing him say I would make an amazing mother hit me hard. “Are you okay?”

Blinking, I focused on him again. “Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” I
turned and continued prepping Elle’s healthy tray, and then we made our way
back into the living room.

***

“Marcus, Elle fell asleep. Maybe you should lay her down
in my bedroom. We can sleep out here.” Marcus nodded, grabbed Elle, and carried
her off into my room.

We had watched two of the three movies, much to Marcus’s
displeasure. As the screen played, my mind drifted off into another direction
during the movie. I was there physically, sitting beside Marcus as his arm was
draped around my shoulder. I even nodded a few times when Elle made a comment
about a character and laughed when she did. Still, mentally my mind was engaged
with thoughts that Marcus had brought back to life.

Of course, I hadn’t forgotten about the miscarriage. It was a
subject that I had learned to tuck away in the back of my mind and no longer think
about it: an out-of-sight, out-of-mind type of ordeal. When it had been brought
back to surface, it felt as if I had been smacked head first into a concrete
wall—a throbbing pain that was so brutal I couldn’t recover from it.

The miscarriage was not the only memory that flashed through my
mind throughout the night. I thought about everything that had happened prior to
and following the miscarriage, about the way my life had evolved within a few
short months of knowing Marcus, and how a brief random meeting at Club21
started it all. If I had met him at his office instead, would we have still
fallen in love? Would we have followed the same exact path that led us to where
we are now? Would we have suffered with the constant arguments, the lies, the
betrayal, and the heart-aching memories of losing one another? Would it all
have been the same?

My mind ran back through how it had all played out: finding the
file in his office with the information about my brother, the miscarriage, and the
pain and confusion I dealt with for weeks from loving someone who I hated at
the same time. I hated that I fell madly in love with him so quickly and when I
wanted to be angry with him I couldn’t because he had a power over me that no
one ever had.

You can’t help who you fall in love with. Yet I had fallen in
love with a man that most women would run away from. Even after finding out
about it all—his lifestyle, his involvement with the mafia, his knowledge of my
brother’s death, and the constant lies—I fell in love with this man who had
turned my world upside down in such a short period of time. No matter how hard
I tried, I couldn’t stay away, and I would never walk away again.

“Mia, come here.” Slightly turning my head, I stared at Marcus
sitting on the sofa. I hadn’t heard him walk back into the room. Absentmindedly
I stood, making my way toward him as the vision of him became a blur. The tears
building up in my eyes forced me back to reality. I desperately tried to fight
them from running down my face. I strained, held my breath, hell, I even
focused on the collar of Marcus’s shirt, but it all failed. By the time I
reached him, the tears wouldn’t stop.

Marcus pulled me in to sit on his lap. I positioned myself so
that I was straddling him. With my head lowered, I fidgeted with my fingers.
Tilting his head aside, he ducked under so that he could get a better look at
me. I chanced a quick glance his way. Marcus had a worried look in his eyes,
“Baby, what’s wrong?” he whispered.

“Nothing.” My throat was low and hoarse.

With the tip of his fingers, he lifted my chin to fully look at
him. “Mia, why are you crying? Simba didn’t kill his father. It was his evil Uncle
Scar who did.”

Laughing once, I nudged his shoulder and sniffed a few times.
“I’m not crying about the movie.”

“So if you’re not crying about the movie, it has to be about
something else. Tell me. What’s wrong?”

Letting out a shaky breath, I pressed my lips together before
responding, “I was thinking about the last four months.” Shaking my head, I
looked at him. “All of it, Marcus: my brother, our baby, and us. I thought I
could lock it away in my head and not think of it again, but it’s easier said
than done.”

“What are you saying exactly? Are you having doubts about us?”
His eyes searched my face, trying to find meaning behind it all.

“No, I’m not at all. What you said in the kitchen about me making
an amazing mother hit me hard. It brought me right back to the miscarriage, and
all the pain resurfaced again. Then I began thinking about everything else, and
my mind just . . .” I waved my hands in circular motions, trying to find the
right words.

He grabbed my face, and with an unreadable expression, he stared
at me for quite some time. “You will make an amazing mother one day. You will
have a beautiful baby boy or girl that will love you and look at you as if you’re
the most perfect person in the world. I know that losing our baby left a scar
that you feel may never be healed, but it will, Mia. Trust me. One day you will
have a child, and I hope and pray that you have that child with me.”

Swallowing the large lump in my throat, I sniffed, “You still
want to have children in the future?”

Shock registered in his expression. “You’re my life, and I
wouldn’t dream of a life without you being my wife and having my kids.”

“I love you, Marcus. I really do, but I don’t think . . .”

“Mia, I get it.” He caressed his thumbs along my cheeks. “You
deserve better than me. I put you through so much.”

“Marcus, you’re perfect for me in every way imaginable.”

Breathing out a smile with no sign of humor, he said, “That’s
crazy talk.”

Shaken by his response, I reached for his face to get his full
attention. “No, it’s not.” Leaning my forehead against his, I whispered,
“Before you, my life was filled with loneliness. I struggled each day to get
by. I wasn’t happy. So as crazy as this may sound to you,” I lightly shrugged,
“it’s not to me. I’m completely in love with you, Marcus. Ever since I met you,
I’ve found a purpose in my life that makes each day worth living.”

There was a whirlpool of emotions clouding his eyes: love, lust,
pain, and desire. Gripping the back of my head, he pulled me in, crushing his
lips against mine. There was so much passion behind that kiss. All of the love we
had for each other poured into one magical kiss that left us breathing heavily.
Our tongues twirled in soft circular motions as his hands gripped my face to
pull me in closer. My arms wrapped around his neck as my fingers gripped his
hair. That was the first night that we ever showed our affection for one
another without the urgency of sex. He kissed and held me, allowing me to pour out
all my love for him in one simple kiss.

That was the night I remembered why I fell in love with Marcus in
the first place.

CHAPTER SEVEN

MARCUS

As I walked into the office, I was greeted by Stacy,
the receptionist at the firm. After handing me messages from this morning, she
tilted her blond head and examined me. I flipped through the messages and felt
her continued heated stare. Raising a brow, I asked, “Anything else?”

“No.” Tilting her head to the opposite side, she added, “You just
look different.”

“It’s probably my haircut.”

“Yes, that might be it. It looks good.”

“Thanks.” I made a move for my office until I remembered
something. “Is Ms. Grant in this week?”