Catch My Breath (43 page)

H
E
’
D
been worried at first, but soon Elliot realized the date was exactly what he and Danny needed. Friend date, ostensibly, but still, it was just them going out and having fun. They’d picked a pub to have burgers in and a theater way out of the paparazzi zone for a movie. In the dark, they could hold hands and share popcorn and do everything they couldn’t do in public.

Elliot supposed they didn’t
need
it exactly, everything about them had been so amazing lately, but it still felt good.

“How’s your burger?” Danny asked from across the table at the pub. They’d chosen a dark corner booth where they weren’t likely to be spotted and scooted toward the back wall so they could tangle their feet together unseen under the thick wooden table.

“It’s awesome,” Elliot said. Everything had tasted amazing lately. “Here. Try.”

He held out the burger. Danny put his hand over Elliot’s and took a slow bite. “That is good. I love mushrooms. You want some of mine?”

They traded bites and sips of drinks, touched as much as they dared, and smiled like idiots. Elliot couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. He remembered that day down on the pier the year before, when they’d sat at a picnic table and he’d barely been able to keep from holding Danny’s hand.

“What?” Danny finally asked.

“Oh, remember when we went to the Santa Monica Pier?” he asked. “This just kind of reminded me of that day.”

“Our first date?” Danny asked with a grin.

“That wasn’t a date!” Elliot laughed. “Even if I wanted it to be. I wanted to kiss you so bad when we were on the Ferris wheel.”

“I wanted it too. I almost
did
kiss you. But Katie… I didn’t want to be a jerk. That day was the reason I ended it with her, at least the final one. Even if you and I had never happened I still wanted to be with you so bad. It wasn’t fair to her.”

“We’ve been over this,” Elliot said with a soft smile. “I don’t think it’s possible for you and I to have not happened. Ever since I walked into that sound studio the first day I wanted to be with you. I just remember my whole body going, ‘Him. That one
.
’”

Danny reached under the table and rubbed Elliot’s knee. “Me too.”

A
FTER
dinner, they walked to the theater, which was only a few blocks away. They didn’t hold hands, even if they both wanted to, but their walk was back. They squished up against each other and walked in step and bumped shoulders and grinned at each other the whole time. It felt like old times. But somehow even better. In the dark of the theater, they did get to hold hands, which made the whole night perfect as far as Elliot was concerned. It was good to be back.

On the way home, they stopped at the market for milk and some fruit. A few girls noticed them, and they posed for pictures. Elliot chuckled at their squeals as they walked away. He wasn’t sure how management was going to react to him and Danny being out together, but he was pretty sure he didn’t care. As long as they didn’t break any actual contracted rules, he figured they were in the clear—management could make their lives hell and call them in for a million meetings, but they couldn’t really
do
anything. It was worth it.

Sammy Colter @uclaboundz13

I saw those faggots from #Static in my hood last night. They’re so gay. Especially the one with that lame hair. Gross.

Jeremiah Bradley @JeremiahsDaMan

@uclaboundz13 I remember them from Band Camp. Those two dudes so wanted to bang. One just broke up with his hot ass girl too. Fucking Fags.

Sammy Colter @uclaboundz13

@JeremiahsDaMan Think of all the hot pussy we could get if we were in a boy band. Hell yeah.

Jeremiah Bradley @JeremiahsDaMan

@uclaboundz13 Dude. No. Just no.

Cara D @Dellyisreallove

@uclaboundz13 So really what you’re saying is you’re just jealous and you wish you were them? I see. #TeamDelly

StaticFan#1@Rateisgreat

@uclaboundz13 Spreading hate just makes you look like a jackass. Besides, what’s wrong with being gay? #TeamDelly

“Y
OU
’
RE
taking this well,” Elliot said.

They’d both been trying to avoid the gossip, avoid reading what people said about them. Their team hadn’t been too happy about their date, but none of them could do anything about it either, since technically Elliot and Danny hadn’t gone outside of their contract. Elliot could practically hear them trying to come up with a spin on the fan pictures that had gotten out. Even though they’d acted “platonic,” he saw the date vibe flying off those pictures, he saw the way he looked at Danny over the girls’ heads. Other people clearly had too. He probably had at least one article linking him to a few actresses or a singers coming his way. It seemed like their best form of retaliation. Elliot acts like he might be gay, especially with Danny and boom. Manwhore. They didn’t have any pictures of him, wouldn’t have any, but words could do just as much damage. Or good. Depending on the perspective.

Elliot felt bad about the whole thing still. It couldn’t have been easy for Danny, being called names online. For the most part, he hadn’t been before when he’d been with Chelsea. Not like Elliot had. It hadn’t happened much when they acted like fools in love back on
Band Camp
. The editors were good at taking out anything too noticeable, other than Elliot’s fumbling during video diaries. They hadn’t been all that famous yet then, either. Just a few kids on a reality show. Hardly anyone was paying attention to them. Elliot remembered his awe at ten thousand Twitter followers. Compared to the three million he currently had, that was nothing. The love from fans had magnified. So had everything else.

Danny shrugged. “I guess if I get hate for being myself, well it just is what it is. It’s better than getting hate for something I’m faking.”

Elliot had never known how much Danny’s pretend relationship had bothered him. He’d always figured it was something he did with ease. “True. We are being ourselves now. But if this ever gets out, you know it’s going to get a lot worse, right?”

“If this ever gets out?” Danny laughed. “I have a feeling you and I will have our moment of infamy and then disappear and never be heard from again.”

“Probably.” It was a little sad, but most likely true. Besides, they were in a boy band, not a rock band. There was a good chance they’d disappear in a few years anyway. A big part of him couldn’t help but be relieved.

“Hey…,” Danny said quietly.

“What?”

“I’m not going back there. I won’t. No matter what, it’s us and only us from here on out.”

Elliot smiled. “I know.”

Chapter 22

T
HE
next few weeks brought a slew of stories about Elliot in the gossip rags—everything from him ordering strippers to his place and crashing sorority parties, to supposedly snorting coke off some socialite’s bare breasts. Of course, they didn’t have any pictures to go with such crap, other than a few shots of him that were both completely innocuous and clearly from months before. People still believed it, the stories were still spread, tweeted, discussed. It made Elliot feel dirty. Like he’d done all the things they were accusing him of. Of course, he hadn’t done any of them.

Webb, Tate, and Reece showed up to their house the morning after the cocaine article spread. Reece’s face was red with rage. Tate and Webb, although more calm, didn’t look any happier.

“This is fucking bullshit!” Reece shouted as soon as the front door closed. “It has to stop.” He slammed a tabloid down on the coffee table and whipped around to face down Elliot like he was to blame for not
doing
something about the whole mess.

“What do you want me to do?” Elliot asked. “They’re freaking ’cause Danny’s single and we’ve been seen hanging out. I guess this is damage control.”

“Damage control?” Tate’s face went red. “This is the kind of thing most pop stars’ publicists have to control the fallout
from
.” He gestured to the paper. It had an old picture of Elliot, smiling shyly under a headline blasting him for drug use and a revolving door of women. “They’re giving you this rep that can’t be good for anyone, and why? Just so you don’t look like you could possibly be gay?”

“It is bullshit, bro,” Webb said. “We need to talk to Rebecca and her minions. They’ve gotta put a stop to it.”

Elliot sighed. “That’s what that whole Georgia Dixon thing was supposed to be. Sure, it was publicity,” he rolled his eyes, “and it got noticed, all right. But it was also about making sure that everyone knew I was into women. Hot, famous women at that. I think they were hoping she could be my girlfriend for a while. Maybe as an alternative to this.” He shuddered. “That one walk down the red carpet was more than enough. I couldn’t do it.”

Reece snorted. “Yeah, you were so into her it looked like you thought her hand had a disease.”

“Exactly. I couldn’t pull it off. I refused to try again. So we’re back to the articles. At least everyone who’s important knows none of it’s true.”

“Our fans don’t,” Tate said. “The real ones and not the ones spewing hate and calling you names. They’re worried about you, El. Really worried. I would be too if I were them and didn’t know how you really are.”

“How I really am is the problem, though, isn’t it? The guy who happily stays home most of his free nights and watches movies with his boyfriend isn’t much to scream over.” He was tired of dealing with it. There wasn’t a solution.

“There has to be something we can do,” Reece said like he was convincing himself. “It doesn’t make any fucking sense for people to hate you for things you never even did.”

“How much of anything that we do makes sense? Other than the music and the concerts it’s all a big circus.” Elliot hated how jaded he sounded. He hated how jaded he felt about ten times more. There wasn’t much he could do to change that. He was exhausted. “Listen, I get Danny right? And neither of us have to have a girlfriend. I’m good with that. It’s enough.” It had to be.

O
F
COURSE
, his mother called a few hours later. Elliot figured he shouldn’t have been surprised.

“Baby, I don’t like this for you. All the people out there who think they know you, and all of it is lies. There has to be something we can do.”

“There isn’t, Mom. It’s part of my contract to look like I’m straight and available. I guess this is just their way of doing that.” How many more ways could he tell people there wasn’t anything he could do?

Of course, Elliot hated it too. He always had. Nobody would want people’s blind disgust, especially when they’d done nothing to earn it. Danny was right. He’d far rather have their disgust over something true, and Elliot wasn’t naive enough anymore to think he wouldn’t get it. Sure, if he came out lots of people would say awful things about him. But at least it would be about
him
. Not the Elliot Price who lived in headlines and between quotation marks. But his life didn’t belong to him, at least his public image didn’t. Only Danny seemed to really get it.

The articles were getting worse, the photographic evidence more and more flimsy. Half the time, if he wasn’t with the boys or Danny, who they wouldn’t photograph him with anyway, Elliot just stayed home. It didn’t keep them from printing salacious articles they spun out of bullshit and thin air. It didn’t keep people from thinking he was like that, but some had noticed there wasn’t any substance behind the rumors. And those people defended him. It had to be enough.

His mother cleared her throat. “I realize you’re an adult, but there has to be something your father and I can do. We talked to a lawyer. Those magazines can be sued for slander, we can go after your management for defamation of character.”

“Assuming you can ever concretely pin any of this on them. Mom. These people have dealt with performers far more savvy than I am. So I have a bit of a reputation. They’re not going to make Danny have another girlfriend. It’s a trade.”