Catch My Breath (38 page)

Seriously low blow.
“Isn’t a breakup publicity too?”

“Not the kind we need. That interview made a lot of fans worry about the future of Static. We need to calm feathers. With the added bonus of publicity for The Pixies, it’s a win-win situation.”

Yeah, for everyone but me. And Elliot.

Rebecca was asking him to take one for the team… whoever the team was anymore. Danny felt that’s what he’d been doing for nearly a year. Hiding him and Elliot, dating Chelsea, making himself look like an ass. All for money. It wasn’t worth it. Elliot’s old college fantasy was starting to sound awfully nice. Danny would gladly take Lit class and dorm rooms if it meant he got his boyfriend back—his
life
back.

“Fine,” he said. Danny didn’t have the energy to care. “Bring her out. Where are we going to be next week?”

“Chicago,” Rebecca said.

Danny could’ve sworn they’d already been there. Didn’t matter. Everywhere was the same anyway—depressing and hot and devoid of Elliot’s kisses.

C
HELSEA
greeted him with a smile and a hug in… Chicago. Yes. Chicago. That’s where he was. “Where do you want to go eat?” she asked. “I’m starving.”

“I’m not really very hungry,” Danny said. It was true. He wasn’t ever hungry anymore. His stage wardrobe had gotten progressively looser over the past few weeks.

“You gotta eat, silly. Can’t go wrong with pizza here. I’ll find somewhere on my phone.”

Half an hour later, Danny and Chelsea ended up in a booth at some famous downtown pizza place. He didn’t know what it was called. Didn’t really matter anyway. Chelsea was going on and on about something. Danny wasn’t listening. He wondered what Elliot was doing. He’d heard earlier that the other boys were planning on going for burgers and checking out the town. Danny wanted to be with them more than anything, even if it was painful to be with Elliot. The near-Elliot pain was nowhere near as bad as the away-from-Elliot pain, he decided. He felt like he was about to go out of his skin.

“Hey, D. What’s wrong, sweetie? You’ve been off ever since I got here.”

Danny shrugged. “I’m just tired.”

Chelsea reached across the table to cup her hands over Danny’s. “You guys have been working so hard. It’s like interview after interview and concerts and all that traveling. We’ve been watching.”

“It is a lot.” It didn’t seem like it at first, when they were all so happy together, when he and Elliot were so happy together, but ever since Toronto Danny felt every single second weighing down on him, leaden and heavy. He just wanted to curl up in his bunk on the bus and let the vibrations of the road coax him to sleep. Half the time, all Danny wanted to do was sleep.

Danny ate his pizza so Chelsea wouldn’t say anything and walked her back to their hotel. She had her own room, but she followed him to his. “Chels, I was just going to go to bed, to be honest.” He was sharing a room with Reece. He wanted to be asleep before Reece got back. The other guys’ searching looks were too much to deal with.

“I wanted to talk to you about a few things.”

Talk? What on earth do we have to talk about?
Danny shrugged, though. Might as well get it over with so he could sleep. “What’s up?” He beckoned her to sit down on Reece’s bed. Danny took a seat across from her on his own.

“I wanted to talk about this, well, whatever it is between us.”

“Babe, you know this is just for publicity. I mean, it always has been, right? And it’s helped out a lot.”

“It has, but what I was thinking….” Chelsea looked awkwardly at her feet. “I was thinking that we could make it more than publicity. I mean, I really like you, Danny. You’re funny, you’re gorgeous, we get each other’s situations.”

Danny wanted to crawl out his hotel window and plummet to the ground below. He wrung his hands together.

“Listen, about that—” Danny didn’t know how to say it. She should’ve been told from the beginning but no. Containment. “You know how there’s all that drama about Elliot and I being together and hiding it?”

“Well, yeah.” Chelsea shrugged. “I just thought some silly kids online still thought that. You don’t really hear much about it anymore in the tabloids. They’ve dropped all the cutesy bromance stuff.”

“Well, here’s the thing.” Danny took a long breath. “It’s true.”

“Wait. What?” Chelsea’s mouth dropped open.

“El and I have been together since the
Band Camp
house. At least we were until a few weeks ago.”

“I don’t get it. Why? Why all the hiding?” Chelsea’s face was pink with embarrassment, but she looked honestly perplexed.

“Money. Our managers were afraid that if Elliot and I were out as a couple the girls wouldn’t be as interested in buying our music. I mean, look at him….”

“I feel like a jerk,” Chelsea said. “This is awkward as hell.”

Danny reached for her hands. “You didn’t know. It’s fine.”

“I kind of did know. I saw it back at the house, but maybe I didn’t want to.” She cringed. “Jesus, I’m worse than your fans. I guess I understand why they wanted you to keep it a secret.”

“You didn’t want to see it?” Danny asked.

“I already made a fool out of myself. Do I have to say it again?”

Oh.
She really liked him. Like always, not just since they’d grown closer during all the dating stuff.

“No. You don’t have to say it.”

Chelsea went to stand. “Listen, they told me the plan was to phase us out while you guys were on tour and then say we broke up because of time apart. Is that still what’s going to happen?”

“I don’t know anymore. I can’t even tell you how little control I have over my life at this point.”

“Did you say you and Elliot weren’t together anymore?”

He hated to say the words out loud. It made everything seem more real. “Things got a little intense there for a while. We’re taking a break.”

“I really hope you two work it out. You’re not the same guy without him.”

Another little stab to the gut to add to the hundreds he’d felt over the past few weeks.

“I know. Me too. Maybe I’ll see you back in LA?” Danny asked.

“’Course, sweetie.” Chelsea gave him a long hug. “I’m going to hit the sack. I have an early flight tomorrow.”

“Sorry you had to fly all the way out here. Good luck with everything. Tell the girls hi for me.”

“I will.”

T
HEIR
last concert. Last song of the last concert even. Who would’ve believed it could all go so fast? The moment was amazing and sad, like all accomplishments and good, crazy, amazing things that have to come to an end. Elliot didn’t know what to think, so he didn’t. Instead he sang. Sang to forget how scared he was of whatever might come next and how fans would react if they knew the real him. More than anything he sang to hide how much it still hurt every time he looked at Danny, how much he wanted to give in every time Danny looked back at him.

They didn’t touch as much as they used to—hardly at all honestly, and only enough to make things look as normal as possible. Elliot knew they both wanted to. Sometimes it felt like his hands didn’t know what to do anymore without Danny to touch. He had no idea what to do about it. Elliot hadn’t ever experienced a breakup before. He imagined most of them didn’t suck nearly as bad. How often did both people want to be with each other as much as he and Danny had but just couldn’t because it hurt too much? Elliot felt for everyone else who’d ever been in a position like his. He noticed Danny watching as he sang his solo. Still proud, still heartbroken. It sucked. And when Danny came in to sing with Elliot? That felt like little tiny knives digging into his skin. It had at every single concert since the night they broke up.

Elliot’s heart started pounding when they got to the last verse. It was done. Really freaking done. The audience screamed and cheered as they finished “Fool for Love.” The first song they’d ever recorded. Still their biggest hit. He didn’t know how to say goodbye.

There wasn’t any room to think over the noise from the audience, barely room to feel anything at all. It seemed so surreal. They were done, at least for the foreseeable future. They were
done
. And as soon as they got back to LA he and Danny were done too, even more than they already had been for the last leg of the trip. There wouldn’t be any excuse to see him outside of rehearsals. He’d have to move out of the house. Elliot’s stomach clenched.

Why are you thinking about this right now?

Probably because he’d barely thought of anything else for weeks. It was physically impossible, it seemed. They all stood in a line, arms around each other’s shoulders, and bowed to the crowd. Reece shouted out another thank you to a second round of screams before he turned and hugged all the guys.

“Love you, bro,” Reece muttered in Elliot’s ear.

“Love you too,” he answered.

The rest of them joined in the hugs, one by one until Elliot was faced with Danny. Danny, who vaulted himself at Elliot and held on tight.

“I’m still so fucking in love with you,” Danny whispered. “I’m not giving up.”

Elliot squeezed his eyes shut hard and tried not to cry. “I still love you too,” he answered and returned the hug with everything he had until he absolutely had to let go.

They all waved to the crowd once more, sad and happy and everything in between. Elliot couldn’t keep his eyes off Danny the entire walk backstage.

“El,” Danny said once they were in a back hallway headed toward the dressing rooms. He grabbed Elliot’s hand and stopped him from following the other guys.

“What, Danny?”

“Did you mean that out there? Do you really still love me?”

Elliot’s chest hurt. It had almost every day since the breakup. “Of course I meant it. I can’t just turn it off, as much as I might want to.”

“Then we have to fix this before we go nuts. You and I are
supposed
to be together.”

He wanted to crumple right to the floor. It was so tempting to say yes and fall back into Danny’s arms. But if he did that, how was any of it fixed? How was it better?

“How many times can we do this, Danny? How many times can all this shit we’re in the middle of rip us to shreds before neither of us can be put together anymore? Do you want to test that? Do you wanna find out what our absolute limits are?”

Danny drooped against the dingy old wall of the back hallway. That hallway kind of seemed like the path to nowhere, the end of… what? Elliot didn’t even know. Maybe everything.

“I just wanna be with you, El. I know I made a horrible mistake.” Danny’s voice grew thick. “The shitty part is I didn’t even mean it. I’d pick you over all of this every goddamned time. Every time.”

“I would too, D. But we don’t even have the choice to pick each other. We’re so screwed if we go against the contract.”

“I don’t even fucking care. I just want you back. I can’t do any of this without you. I don’t want to be in it if we’re not in it together.”

Elliot reached out and ran his fingers through Danny’s sweaty hair. “We will still be in it together, just as friends, okay? You’re still my best friend. You always will be.”

“It
hurts
. I can’t stand it anymore.”

“It hurts me too. Every day.” Elliot trailed his fingers down Danny’s face and let go, stepped away, turned to leave. Every inch felt like ripping flesh, bloody skin torn from his body. Yeah, it really, really hurt.

“Then why are we doing this to ourselves?” Danny sank down the wall, head in his hands.

Because I’m not sure I’m capable of finding out how much worse it could get….

Elliot moved, one step at a time, until he was walking down the hallway toward the dressing rooms, everything blurred with tears he’d tried desperately to hold back but couldn’t.

Chapter 20

THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN!!

A Candy Scoop Exclusive

Our STATIC hotties are back from a three month tour and living it up at home in LA! We missed your guys and we’re glad to see your adorable faces out and about on the town… at least most of you.

Pretty boy next door TATE RYAN was seen at La Descarga with his lovely girlfriend FELICIA enjoying a reunion dinner, which we hear was followed by a stroll and ice cream on the beach. True Love!

The other hot STATIC couple DANNY BRIGHT and girlfriend CHELSEA PRESTON were spotted out dressed to the nines at Bar Marmont, where the under twenty five crowd goes to see and be seen.

REECE BEAUFORT and STATIC’s youngest member, ELLIOT PRICE have been partying it up all over town with Indie rocker CHRIS COLLINS and their too cool for school hipster friends. Those boys know how to have fun. You’re sure to spot them anywhere the party is loud, drinks are quirky and ironic… and of course where the girls are hot!

WEBBER JACKSON has gone off the radar since the boys’ return. Maybe he’s just taking some much needed R&R. If anyone sees him or his gorgeous cheekbones, let us know. We’d love to catch up!

It sure looks like most of the boys are going their separate ways but our super secret source says not to worry.