Casteel 04 Gates of Paradise (16 page)

"It was his brother, Mr. Troy, Miss Annie. One day he jes' hopped on that stallion and rode him into the sea. Only a Devil horse woulda done it. Any other horse woulda refused to go in."
"So that's what Drake meant when he said Troy committed suicide. He rode my great-grandmother's horse into the ocean and--"
"And he drowned, Miss Annie. Seems this house has had more'n its share of hardships ta bear, hasn't it, Miss Annie?" He shook his head.
"Sometimes it's harder ta live ta a ripe ole age. Yer haunted by the many bad memories and ya hear the many lonely spirits."
"But why did he do such a thing, Rye?"
"Oh, I wouldn't know," he said quickly; too quickly, I thought. "Troy was as handsome a young man as yall ever see, and talented, too. He made many of the toys, ya know. Only, I never called 'em toys. They was more like art." He shook his head and smiled, recalling. "Lil houses and lil people, some made inta music boxes."
"Music boxes?"
"Beautiful melodies . . . like soft piana music."
"Chopin," I muttered. The memory of my mother's musical cottage sent my heart pitterpattering, overwhelming me with a flush of sadness.
"What's that, Miss Annie?"
I shifted my eyes away quickly, not wanting him to see my tears.
"I was just thinking of a composer."
"Oh. Well, I best get my ole self back down ta the kitchen and see what Roger's up to. He's my-- what do you call 'im--apprentice. Ole Rye can't expects he'll be workin' in that kitche forever, and Mr. Tatterton needs a good cook when I gets the call to join my maker. 'Course, rights now, I play deaf to that, Miss Annie," he said, smiling widely. We laughed.
"Oh, I almost forgot yer Je11-0." He put the dish on my tray.
"Sorry 1 can't have your chocolate cake, Rye. It looked delicious."
"Oh yes, she brought that right down again." He looked back and then leaned toward me. "Course, find away to sneak a piece back up. Jest ya wait."
"Thank you, Rye. And come back to see me, please."
"Sho' will."
"Well, what's this?" Tony said, suddenly appearing in my doorway. "The chef checking up to see how well his food's gone over?"
"Someone had ta bring up some Jell-O, and I thought it was as good a time as any to pay my respects, Mr. Tatterton." He turned back to me and winked. "Gots ta be gettin' back ta my kitchen now."
"Thank you, Rye," I called as he hurried out. Tony watched him leave and then turned to me.
"Why didn't Millie bring up the Jell-O?" he wondered aloud.
"I asked Millie to send him up."
"Oh?" His blue eyes narrowed.
"I hope that was all right," I said quickly. He looked upset.
"I was going to tell him to come see you after dinner. It's all right," he added, his eyes softening. "He's still one of the best chefs on the East Coast. I'd wager his Yorkshire pudding against any."
"He's everything my mother said he was. He must be over eighty, right?"
"Who knows? He can't really remember his birthday, or he lies about his age. So, how are you doing? Feeling a bit stronger?"
"Tired from the therapy, and frustrated. I want to get out and about the mansion and the estate."
"Well, maybe Mrs. Broadfield will approve a short trip down this corridor late tomorrow morning. The doctor will be here the day after."
"Has Luke called?" I asked hopefully. "Not yet."
"I don't understand why not." My heart plunged. Had Drake's predictions already come true?
"Just giving you a chance to get settled in, I'm sure."
He brought a chair up beside the bed. When he sat down, he crossed his legs and meticulously ran his fingers down the sharp crease of his gray trouser leg.
"It's not like him. We're very close," I explained. "Did you know we were born on the very same day?"
"Really? How extraordinary!"
Luke's and my birthday was such a major touchstone in my life that it seemed incredible Tony would know nothing about the coincidence. How completely my father and mother had shut him out of their lives, I thought. I wondered if he knew that Luke and I were really half brother and half sister.
"Yes. And since then our relationship has been sort of what my mother's was like with her brother Tom, the one who died tragically in that circus accident."
"Oh yes." He gazed at me with the same intensity again, staring so hard I could almost feel his eyes drilling into my soul. "Your mother had a very hard time of it, but she was a very strong woman, as I am sure you will be. 'What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger,' as my father used to tell me. He'd borrowed the expression from some German philosopher, I can't remember which one.
"Anthony, he'd say," Tony recalled, pulling himself up stiffly into what he must have remembered as his father's posture, "you've got to learn something from every defeat in life or life will defeat you." He relaxed and smiled. "Of course, I was barely five or six when he was giving me all this advice, but oddly enough, it stuck with me."
"The Tattertons are a fascinating family, Tony." "Oh, I'm sure some of my relatives are quite boring. I've never spoken to half my cousins. Dreary people. And Jillian's side of the family wasn't much better. Both of her sisters and her brother passed away some time ago. Actually, I only found out by reading the obituaries. Once Jillian died . ." His eyes became somewhat glassy as he got lost in a memory.
"Tell me about your brother, Tony. Please," I added quickly, seeing his face begin to harden and his eyes say no.
"I should really let you rest."
"Just a little. Tell me just a little." Perhaps because he was no longer here, or perhaps because I had learned only a tidbit here and a tidbit there, Troy lingered in my mind as someone mysterious. "Please."
His eyes warmed and his smile trembled through his lips. Then he leaned over and surprised me by stroking my hair just the way Mommy often had.
"When you plead like that, you remind me so much of Leigh as a young girl, pleading with me to take her here or there, to show her this or that. She would burst into my office, interrupting anything I was doing, no matter how important, and ask me to take her on the sailboat or horseback riding. And no matter how busy I was, just like now, I would relent. Tatterton men spoil their women, but," he added, his eyes twinkling, "they enjoy doing it."
"About Troy?" Did he purposely drift of so much or was it something he couldn't help?
"Troy. Well, as I told you, he was much younger than I. When he was a little boy, he was sick so much of the time, I'm afraid I considered him a millstone around my neck. You see, our mother died when he was very small, and soon after that our father. Troy grew up thinking of me as his father and not just his older brother.
"He was a very bright young man, however, and graduated from college when he was only eighteen."
"Only eighteen!" I exclaimed in astonishment. "And then what did he do?"
"He worked in the business. He was a talented artisan and designed many of our most famous toys. So, there you are," he said, intending to end his tale of Troy.
"But why did he commit suicide, Tony?"
His soft blue eyes hardened as if they had instantly turned to ice.
"He didn't commit suicide; it was an accident, a tragic accident. Who said it was suicide? Did your mother tell you that?"
"No. She never mentioned him," I replied, swallowing hard. He looked so angry. His lips grew so tight and thin that a white line developed around them. This chase in his face frightened me, and I think he saw that because he quickly softened his look. In fact, he looked very sad, very distraught.
"Troy was a melancholy man, very sensitive, deep, convinced that he wasn't going to live long. He was very fatalistic about life. No matter what I did, couldn't change him. I don't like talking about him because . . because I feel somewhat responsible, you see. I couldn't help him, no matter what I did."
"I'm sorry, Tony. I didn't mean to make you feel bad." I saw that he couldn't face up to the idea that his brother killed himself. It was cruel of me to try to make him do so.
"I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me; you're too sweet, too pure." He broke out into a wide, warmer smile. "Let's not talk about sad things. Please. For a while, anyway, let's just concentrate on the beautiful, the pleasant, the hopeful, and the miraculous. Okay?"
"Okay," I said.
"Now, if you feel up to it, I've made a list of books you should read, and have them brought up to your room. Also, I'm having a television set brought in here tomorrow. I'll go through the television guide and underline some of the better programs for you," he added.
How odd, I thought. How did he think I was brought up? I knew what books to read and what programs to watch. My mother often praised my taste in literature. Tony acted as if he thought I was some hillbilly who needed direction and instruction. But I didn't want to complain and hurt his feelings. He looked sa happy to be doing all this.
"And I've got to make that list of things for Drake to bring from Winnerrow," I reminded him.
"Right. He'll be here in the afternoon. Let's see, is there anything else?"
I shook my head.
"All right, then. I have to do some work. I'll see you in the morning. Have a good night's rest, Heaven." "Heaven?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. It's just you had me thinking about your mother then and I--"
"That's all right, Tony. I don't mind if once in a while you make a mistake and call me Heaven. I loved my mother very much." My tears came so fast, it was as though they had been just waiting for an opportunity to show themselves.
"There, now I've gone and made you sad again." "No, it's not your fault."
"Poor Annie." He leaned over and kissed me softly on the cheek, his lips lingering. He inhaled deeply, as if he wanted to drink in the scent of my hair. Then he pulled himself back abruptly, realizing how long he was taking to kiss me good night. "Good night," he said, and left the room.
I rested my head on the pillow and thought about some of the things I had learned. How right Rye was. This house had had more than its share of tragedy. Was this the way it was with all great families; rich, powerful families who had so much and yet suffered so much?
Was there a curse on the Tattertons and all who came into close contact with them? Perhaps Rye Whiskey wasn't so wrong about spirits wandering about. Perhaps that man I had seen in the distance visiting my parents' tomb was one of them.
Maybe Drake was right; maybe I should leave the sad things alone. I knew that I couldn't, though. There were things I just had to know. They itched, and just like a persistent itch, they had to be scratched.
At the moment one of the things that bothered me was Luke's silence. It just wasn't like him to keep away this long. It was so frustrating not being able to call him, not even to know which dorm he was in.
Millie came in to get my supper tray, and I thought of something.
"Millie, would you look in the desk drawer there to see if there is a pen, a sheet of stationery, and an envelope, please."
"Yes, Annie." She did so and found the stationery and a pen. "It's perfumed stationery," she said, bringing the sheet to her nose and inhaling. "Still smells very nice."
"I don't care. I just want to write a quick letter. Please come back in fifteen minutes to get it and have it mailed out for me."
"I will."
She left with the tray, and I used the bed table to write my letter to Luke.
.
Dear Luke,
I know you have spoken to Tony since graduation, and I was happy to hear about the reception you received for your speech. You deserved it. I wish only that I could have been there, that my mother and our father could have been there.
Drake has visited me at Farthy and told me of your arrival at Harvard. The doctors want me to continue my quiet rest and recuperation, so I have no phone yet, otherwise I would try to call you rather than send this letter. I'll ask that it be sent special delivery, so you should get it quickly.
I can't wait to hear from you and to see you. I'm already planning just how to go about our
explorations of Farthy.
Please call or come as soon as you can. Love, Annie
.
I addressed the letter to Luke Toby Casteel, Dormitories, Harvard College, and wrote "Special Delivery" on the bottom of the envelope. When Millie returned, I called her to the side of my bed to give her special instructions,
"Take this to Mr. Tatterton, please, and ask him if he would put the rest of the Harvard address on here for me and send this right out in the morning."
"Right away, Annie," she said.
I watched her go, and thought Luke would surely respond immediately when he received that. Confident that he would be with me in a day or so, I lowered my head to the pillow and closed my eyes. I opened them slightly when I, heard Mrs. Broadfield come in. She took my blood pressure and checked my pulse, fixed my blanket and then put out the light.
With the sun down and the sky overcast again, darkness fell around me like a heavy curtain. It was my second night at Farthy, but unlike the first, I had something to listen for: Rye Whiskey's spirits. Maybe I dreamt it because he had been so dramatic when he spoke, but sometime during the middle of the night, I thought I heard the soft tinkle of a piano playing a Chopin waltz.
Was it only my desperate need to remember, to envision my mother's soft smile as she gazed at me while she brushed my hair? Or was Rye Whiskey right? Was there a spirit that wandered through the house searching and searching?
Maybe he was searching for me. Maybe I had always been expected.

Mrs. Broadfield yanked open the curtains so abruptly the morning light burst upon me like a bomb blast. She looked as though she had been up for hours, but I thought she always looked that way.

"You should want to get up early, Annie," she said without really looking at me. She talked as she moved about the room setting things up--unfolding my wheelchair, getting a robe from the closet, finding my slippers. "It takes you longer to do everything now, and you will need the extra time.

"After a while you will be able to get yourself up and out of that bed and into the wheelchair to do your bathroom business and have your breakfast, but you're going to have to build up to it, just like an athlete builds up to a task. Understand?" she asked, finally pausing to look at me.

I pulled myself up and sat back against my pillow and nodded.
"All right, then, let's get you out of bed, washed, and into a clean nightgown."
Still groggy from what had turned out to be a very deep night's sleep, I simply nodded. Quietly, almost as if the two of us were performing a mime show, she assisted me out of the bed and into the chair. She wheeled me into the bathroom and took off my nightgown. I washed my own face and she brought in the new nightgown. Then she brought me back into the room and left me by the window.
"I'll get your breakfast now," she said, starting out.
"Why isn't Millie bringing it up?" I was anxious to find out if she had given my letter to Tony to mail. Mrs. Broadfield paused at the doorway and turned back.
"Millie was discharged last night," she said, and left before I could respond.
Discharged? But why? I had liked her and even thought she would be good company. She was so pleasant and kind. What could she have done to get herself fired so soon? The moment Tony looked in on me, I demanded to know.
"Tony, Mrs. Broadfield just told me you fired Millie. Why?"
He shook his head and pressed his lower lip up and under his upper.
"Incompetent. Made a mess of things from the day she arrived. I was hoping she would improve, but she just seemed to get worse and worse. Jillian wouldn't have countenanced her more than a day. You should have seen the fine help we used to have here, their professionalism, their--"
"But Tony, she was so nice," I said.
"Oh, she was nice enough, but nice isn't enough. I found out that her references weren't accurate, anyway. She couldn't get a position for some time and worked as a waitress, not as a maid. But don't fret, one of my people is already looking for someone new."
Mrs. Broadfield arrived with my tray and set it down.
"Well, I'm off," Tony said. "I'll let you have breakfast."
"Tony, wait! I gave her a letter to give to you last night to mail to Luke."
He smiled quizzically.
"Letter? She gave me no letter."
"But Tony--"
"I called her in around seven-thirty and gave her two weeks' severance pay, but she mentioned no letter."
"I don't understand."
"Why not? It's just as I said: she was incompetent. She probably had it in her apron and forgot it. Honestly, I don't know what it is with young people today; they seem so distracted all the time. No wonder it's so hard to get decent help."
"It was a letter to Luke!" I cried.
"Your eggs are getting cold," Mrs. Broadfield pointed out.
"I'm sorry," Tony replied. "Write another letter today, and I'll see to it myself this time, okay? I'll return this afternoon to take you on a short tour of this floor. That is, if Mrs. Broadfield approves," he added, looking her way. She didn't reply.
He left before I could say another word on the subject of my letter, and when I looked at Mrs. Broadfield, she wore her mask of annoyance.
"We have to get to your morning therapy, Annie, and then you have to rest or I can't see you taking any tour. Now, please eat your breakfast."
"I'm not hungry."
"You've got to eat to gain strength. Your therapy is just like a workout would be for an athlete, and just as he or she wouldn't be able to do well without food energy, neither will you. Only," she said, raising her shoulders and straightening her posture to emphasize her point, "instead of simply losing a tennis match or a football game, you will remain an invalid."
I lifted my fork and began to eat. Thank God for Rye Whiskey, I thought as I chewed and
swallowed. He had a way of making the simplest foods extra tasty.
My morning therapy session began just like the one I had the day before, but there was something different this time. I was positive I felt Mrs. Broadfield's fingers on my thighs. There was a stinging sensation, like pins being poked through my skin, and I screamed.
"What?" she demanded, looking up impatiently. "I felt something . . . it stung."
"That's just your imagination," she said, and started again. Again I felt the sting.
"I do feel something . . I do!" I protested. She paused and stood up.
"It's what we call hysterical pain. You're in a worse mental state than I thought. Even this is happening to you now."
"But the doctor said--"
"I know what the doctor said. Don't you think I've worked with more than one or two doctors in my time?"
"Yes, but--"
"Just try to relax as I work your legs, and when you think you've felt something, control yourself." "But--"
She started again. The pain was there, but I simply grimaced and stifled my groans. The effort exhausted me, so I had to nap before lunch. Mrs. Broadfield brought me my lunch and told me Tony had phoned and would be back shortly to take me through a short tour of the floor. Funny, I thought, how something so simple had become something to look forward to, the way I would have looked forward to a special date or a party or dance. Right now, being wheeled out of this room was as exciting as a trip across the country. How my life had changed! How much I had taken for granted!
One of the grounds people arrived and set up a television set for me. It came with a remote control so I could work it from bed. He was a stocky man with a face that looked like old, dry leather. Hours and hours of working in the sun had cracked his skin and crisscrossed his forehead and even his chin with deep lines. He said his name was Parson.
"Have you been working here a long time, Par son?"
"Oh no, just a little more than a week."
"How do you like it?" At first I thought he didn't hear my question; then I realized he was thinking of how he would answer. "I suppose there's a lot for you to do," I added to encourage him to respond. He paused in his work to attach wires to the television set and looked at me.
"Yeah, there's a lot of work, but every time I start on something, Mr. Tatterton changes his mind and starts me on something else."
"Changes his mind?"
Parson shook his head. "I don't know. I was hired to repair the pool, so I started mixing the cement, but I only just got started when Mr. Tatterton come out and asked me what I was (loin'. I told him and he looked at the pool and then at me as if I was crazy. Then he says his father told him never to fix somethin' 'less it was broke. 'Huh?'! says. 'The hedges have to be trimmed all along the pathways in the maze,' he tells me, and sets me of to do that. Meanwhile, all the cement I mixed gets hard and is wasted.
"But he pays good." Parson shrugged and went back to the television set.
"But what about the pool?"
"I ain't askin'. I do what I'm told. There, now this should work just fine." He turned on the set and fiddled with the channels and controls. "Want this on?"
"Not right now, thank you, Parson."
"No problem."
"Parson, what is it like in the maze?"
"Like?" He shrugged. "I don't know. Peaceful, I guess. When you get deep in it, that is. You can't hear much on either side, and then . . I guess because it's so quiet, you imagine you hear things." He laughed to himself.
"What do you mean?"
"Couple a times I thought I heard someone walking about in one of the corridors nearby, so I shouted, but there was no one. Late yesterday, I was sure I heard footsteps, so I
^-
got up and found my way over a path and then another and another, and what do you think happened, ma'am?"
"What?"
"I got lost, that's what." He laughed hard. "Took me nearly a half an hour to get back to where I was working."
"What about the footsteps?"
"Never heard 'em after that. Well, I gotta get goin'."
"Thank you," I called.
After he left I stared out the window. The sky was as blue as Mommy's eyes when she was radiant and happy. My eyes must be gray now, I thought, as dull as a faded, old blue blouse. But the world outside sparkled with life and light; the grass was deep green and looked cool and fresh, the trees were in full bloom, and the small, puffy clouds looked clean and soft like freshly plumped pillows.
Robins and sparrows flitted from branch to branch, excited by the prospect of a warm, wonderful afternoon. I would gladly change places with one of them, I thought, and become a mere bird, but at least a creature who could move about at its own will and enjoy what life it had.
Mommy and Daddy were gone, Luke was seemingly beyond reach, and I was shut up in this old house with only therapy and hot baths and medicine and doctors to look forward to. And for how long, I did not know, nor would anyone be able to say.
I snapped out of my self-pity when I saw Tony's Rolls-Royce approaching. When the car came to a stop near the cemetery, I wheeled myself as close to the window as I could get. I saw him get out and go to my parents' monument. He knelt before it and lowered his head. He remained that way for a long time, and then, suddenly, the mysterious man appeared again, approaching from the wooded area. Tony didn't seem to hear or see him approaching.
The figure stood beside him and then placed his hand on Tony's shoulder. I watched and waited, my heart suddenly thumping, but Tony didn't look up. After a few more moments the man left him and went back to the darkness of the woods. Then Tony got up and went back to his car.
It was as if only I knew the man had been beside him. I couldn't wait for Tony's arrival. I wheeled myself to the front of my bedroom and faced the door.
It was nearly two hours before Tony came to my room. I was dying to ask him about the man at the cemetery. I wanted to call for him, but I thought my curiosity was too trivial to justify making him come right up. He'll be here any moment, I kept telling myself, only the clock ticked and ticked and he didn't come. What was it Roland used to tell me whenever I was impatient--"A watched pot never boils"?
I tried to fix my mind on other things and looked over the books Tony had had sent up to my room. They were all novels by authors I had never heard of. Nineteenth-century writers like William Dean Howells. Some were described as "period pieces." Others were "novels of manners." It was as if Tony wanted me to live in a bygone age.
At last he appeared. Immediately, almost frantic with curiosity by this time, I asked him about the man in the cemetery.
"What man?" Tony's smile remained frozen on his face, but the warmth that had been under it momentarily slipped away.
"I saw him step up beside you when you were at my parents' monument."
He stood there in my doorway blinking as though he had to refocus on the real world. Then he released a deep breath and came forward, his smile warming again.
"Oh, I keep forgetting you can see the family cemetery from your window." He shrugged. "He was only one of the grounds people. To tell you the truth, I was so involved. with my sorrow at that moment, I can't remember which one he was or what he wanted."
"Grounds people? But Rye Whiskey said---"
"Anyway," Tony chirped, slapping his hands together, "it's time for your first tour of Farthy. Mrs. Broadfield says you have earned it. Are you ready?"
I gazed out the window again, looking in the direction of the cemetery and the woods. Clouds, as long and thin as witches' fingers, blocked the sun, laying shadows over my parents' monument.
"I should go to the cemetery, Tony."
"As soon as the doctor okays it. Hopefully tomorrow. In the meantime I'll show you something special, something nearby."
He came around my chair and grasped the handles. Why wasn't he telling me the truth about the man? Was he afraid it would disturb me? How could I get him to tell me the truth? Maybe Rye would know. I'd have to arrange it so Tony wouldn't know I had asked.
I felt his warm breath on my forehead, and he planted a soft kiss on my hair. The gentleness of that caress took me a bit by surprise. He must have seen it in my eyes.
"It's so good, so wonderful to have you here, and to be able to take you back through time with me."
"But I'm an invalid, Tony, a sick, crippled person." I don't think he heard me.
"To regain the beautiful memories, to seize happiness once again. Few men get such an opportunity once they have lost it."
He began pushing me out of the room.
"Where are we going?"
"The first thing I want you to see is the suite of rooms I had prepared for your parents when they came to Farthy for their wedding reception. They were so lovey-dovey, just as newlyweds should be."
I had often tried to imagine Daddy and Mommy as young people, newly discovering one another. I knew they had first met when Daddy moved to Winnerrow. Mommy told me they fell in love the moment their eyes met.
But she had never described her good memories at Farthy. I was sure there had to be some. So I listened keenly as Tony rattled on, describing how they laughed and clung to one another, how excited my father was to see Farthinggale, and how much Tony had enjoyed showing him around.
"When I first set eyes on your mother, I couldn't get over how much she resembled her own mother," he added as we turned out of the suite and headed down the long corridor. "Just as you do, my dear. Sometimes, when I close my eyes and hear you speak, I think I'm back in time and listening to Heaven, and when I open my eyes, there is a moment when I'm not sure. Have all the years since she left me been simply a nightmare? Can I return to the happier times? If you want something enough, pray for it enough, can't it happen?
"All of you run together in my mind sometimes. as if you are not three, but one woman, Leigh, Heaven, and now you, so similar in voice, in demeanor, in looks. You're like sisters, triplets, instead of mothers and daughters," he said softly, hopefully.
I didn't like the way he clumped us together. It was as if I weren't Ala individual, my own person with my own thoughts and feelings. Of course I wanted to be like Mommy, even look like her, but I wanted to be myself, to be Annie, not Leigh; Annie, Heaven's daughter, not a clone. Why was Tony so intent on ignoring that? Didn't he know how important it was for everyone to feel like her own person? How would he like it if people called him "just another Tatterton, like all the rest"? I made up my mind that later on I would bring up the topic. I wasn't the only one who could be taught new things.
I turned my attention back to the tour of the house. I hadn't noticed much about the upstairs portion of the house when they first brought me in and up to my room, but now I saw how heavily worn and frayed the hallway rug was. Many of the chandeliers that hung from the ceiling had blown bulbs, and there were cobwebs clinging to the fixtures. The drapes over the few windows were closed, so that the corridor was dark, especially the section into which Tony was wheeling me.