Casa Parisi (28 page)

Luke drank it. "You're right. It's really good."

"While you're here, why don't you taste the Grower's Select Reserve Chardonnay? I think it's ready to be bottled." She poured Luke a sample. "See if you agree."

"That's ready. I don't think it should be any dryer."

"Then I'll bottle it this week."

"Lucia will be pleased with those. Speaking of Lucia, did you find her?"

"Yes, but she wouldn't talk to me. She left with some woman."

"I'm surprised," Luke said. "Not about the woman, but that she wouldn't talk to you. She said she had feelings for you and she wouldn't say that if she didn't mean it."

"She was only acting that way because I hurt her."

"Probably," Luke said. "We both know she lashes out when she's cornered."

"Do we ever," Juliet replied. "I don't know what to do, Luke."

"You'll figure something out. Ever since Lucia lost Devin, I've been praying for her to get better. You did say she told you about the accident, right?"

Juliet nodded. "She didn't tell me what happened afterward. All I know is what her friends in Atlanta told me."

"For the first month she hardly ate and hardly spoke. It was like someone reached in and shut off her main switch. Her friends helped as much as they could, but she didn't come around. Finally, I took a leave of absence, helped her sell the house and brought her to live with us. I thought she needed to get away from that house and her memories."

"Did it help?" Juliet asked.

"Not at first. For a while Natalie and I were afraid she might take her own life, but then she seemed to slowly get a little better. I don't know how she found the strength to buy the winery and get it started, but she did. I guess she needed to keep busy, keep her mind off things."

"And did that help?"

"Sure, it helped some, but the spark had gone out of her. She'd lost something."

"Her
joie de vie
?" Juliet offered.

"That's it. She lost her joy of living."

"She'll find it again, Luke. I know she will."

"I hope you're right," he said. "I worry about her. She's tough and she talks a good game, but I know she's been lonely and she's afraid to open her heart again."

"I don't want to break her heart," Juliet said. "I don't."

"I'm sorry. I know you can't promise me you won't."

"No, but I can promise you I have no intention of hurting her."

"That's good enough for me," Luke said.

Juliet realized she would have to risk being the brunt of Lucia's anger again because she couldn't go home without talking to her. She wouldn't be able to rest until she knew where they stood. "I have to talk to her. Have you seen her today?"

"No, she hasn't been in. You might find her at home, but you might be better off waiting until she comes to you."

"I'm not sure I can do that." Juliet was seized by powerful emotions and much to her dismay she began crying in front of Luke.

"Hey, things will be all right." Luke got up and put his arm around her.

"No they won't. She was not happy when I showed up at the bar."

Luke took his arm away and stepped back. "Why don't you dry your eyes and go out to the vineyards with me? That's why I came over. I need your opinion on the progress of the gewürztraminer grapes."

Juliet grabbed a couple of tissues, dried her eyes and pulled herself together. "That's funny, because this morning I was thinking about making our first gewürztraminer. I love those grapes. They're bold and they have such massive fruitiness. The flavors positively rage around in the wine glass."

"Now you sound more like you."

Juliet managed to return his gentle smile. "I can't wait until the harvest. That's when I get to transform simple grape juice into the stuff

of romance and legend."

"When you put it that way, I can't wait either."

"I hope I'm still working here."

"Why wouldn't you be?" Luke appeared confused, but only momentarily. "Oh, you mean because of you and my sister?"

"I might not have this job much longer."

"I can't see that happening," Luke said. He stared at her intently. "I can't and I won't let that happen if I have anything at all to say about it."

An unspoken acceptance passed between them. They both knew Juliet had no choice but to let the issue of her future play itself out. It all depended on how things worked out between her and Lucia. There was nothing Luke could say, nothing he could do.

Juliet moved into her winemaker mode. At least it would serve to take her mind off her distress. "Less expensive wines always sell, but having more expensive ones like the rieslings and gewürztraminers will bring in a greater margin of profit."

"That's the idea." Luke seemed willing to let the issue of his sister drop.

"I'll prove it to you." Juliet grabbed a calculator from the countertop and punched in a series of numbers. "One acre of gewürztraminer vines yields about three tons of grapes. One ton will give us--" Her fingers flew over the keys again. "Roughly seven hundred bottles of wine. That means three tons will give us twenty-one hundred bottles of wine." She continued to use the calculator as she talked. "Multiply that by the number of acres and that gives us sixteen thousand, eight hundred bottles of wine or--one thousand four hundred cases give or take a few."

Luke laughed. "Good thing we've got plenty of storage space."

"You'll need it," Juliet said. "I'll meet in front of the barn in fifteen minutes. While we're out there we can discuss some ideas I've had."

"You never seem to run out of them. Meet me at the truck."

THEY SPENT A few hours in the vineyards before Luke announced he was calling it a day and drove them back. Juliet stopped in the barn with him while he closed up on the off-chance that Lucia might be in her office only to discover she wasn't. Her need to see Lucia had become paramount and she had to do something about it or she would go insane.

Luke checked his watch. "I've got to leave. If I'm late for dinner Natalie will kill me. What are you going to do?"

"I did enough work for one day, but I can't go home without going to the cottage to see if she's there," Juliet said. "If she is I'll try to talk to her."

"What then?" "I'll keep calling until I reach her." "Good luck and don't let her scare you. She's all bark and no bite." "Thanks, Luke. Thanks for listening." Luke gave her a quick hug. "Anytime. See you tomorrow."

WITH A FREE-FLOATING anxiety gaining momentum inside of her, she went to her car. Would she find Lucia and if she did, would Lucia reject her again? Appreciating the reasons for Lucia's anger didn't make it any easier to endure and yet Juliet knew she had to risk it for both their sakes. She could not tolerate another evening at home without resolving the ill feelings between them.

She drove to the cottage, pleased to see Lucia's car in the driveway. Pulling hers in behind it, she got out and knocked on the front door several times. There was no answer. After one last spirited series of knocks she walked around the house hoping to find Lucia inside the porch or on the deck. As she neared the back, she heard Angel's high-pitched barking emanating from the porch. Cupping her hands around her eyes, she tried to peer in through the screen.

"I can see you out there." Lucia's voice drifted out.

"It's me, Juliet." Juliet jiggled the handle only to find the door locked.

"I can see it's you." Lucia's muted laugh sounded weary. "What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you. Please let me in."

Lucia didn't respond at first and then she said, "Okay, why not?" She unlocked the door and let it swing open. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I wanted to know if you were all right after--after Sunday." Juliet remained in the doorway. It was clear Lucia was not all right. Her eyes were dark with fatigue, her face strained. She stood in a defensive position, her arms wrapped around her chest.

"I don't know how I am," she replied.

"You look tired," Juliet said, taking a step toward her. Angel was jumping on her leg so she bent down to pick her up.

"What else is new? Why don't you just tell me why you're here?"

"I had to see you."

"Why?"

"Will you please stop it?" Juliet put Angel down and let her run off. "Pretending you don't know and don't care has no effect on me anymore. We're both hurting."

Lucia didn't protest as she stared at the floor.

"And we both know the truth."

Lucia lifted her eyes, her silence an affirmation.

"I know you're as scared as I am and I'm willing to say the words if you can't. I'm crazy about you and I can't go on like this. We want each other so much it's tearing us apart. You know it and I know it."

"I thought I knew it, but--" Lucia sighed. "All right, I give up. Why don't you come in and sit down?"

Juliet followed her in and sat next to her on the sofa. "I care about you and I couldn't bear to go home without explaining what happened on Sunday."

"What about Andre?" Lucia stared at her hands, tightly clasped in her lap.

"I know what you must have thought. You thought I went back to him. You thought I didn't want you, but you were wrong, so wrong."

Lucia turned away. "Was I?"

Juliet reached out and took Lucia's hand. "Please don't turn away."

Lucia turned, all resistance gone from her eyes. "Thank God you're here."

Juliet eliminated the space that separated them and wrapped her arms around Lucia. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come to you. I almost called you a hundred times and now I'm sorry I didn't."

"Don't be. I should have called you," Lucia said. "Besides, you did come to me and I sent you away."

"I remember." Juliet let Lucia go and they both sat up. There would be ample time for touching, but they needed to talk. "I never thought you'd show up at my apartment while Andre was there. Then you were so mad at me when I went looking for you at the bar I was sure you wouldn't talk to me."

"I acted like a bitch. I was ice cold toward you when all I really wanted to do was to grab you and hold on to you forever."

"Why didn't you? I wanted you to so much."

"I didn't want you to see how hurt I was," Lucia said quietly.

"I knew you were hurt. Why do you think I went looking for you?"

"I wasn't sure. When I saw Andre I assumed you wanted to be with him and not me. When I saw his overnight bag, I thought he was going to be staying with you. That was too much for me to bear. I knew I could never compete with him."

"Andre doesn't matter to me."

"What was he doing there?"

"I didn't ask him to come. He called me Saturday night and insisted I see him. He said he wanted to talk and I let him come because I wanted to end it with him."

Lucia's sad eyes bore into Juliet's. "And did you end it?"

"Of course I did." Juliet leaned in and kissed Lucia. "I should have ended it the last time he was here, but I wasn't sure of my feelings. I wasn't sure about yours. This whole issue of my sexuality has been confusing for me and I've had a lot to process. I guess I haven't handled things as well as I could have."

"I haven't either," Lucia said. "I should have trusted you." She secured Juliet's hand in hers. "You're here and that's all that matters to me."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that. I don't want him. I want you."

"But you ran away on Saturday night." Lucia stared at their joined hands.

Juliet lifted Lucia's chin so their eyes met. "I wanted you so much. I'd never felt that way about anyone. We were going to make love and I felt so overwhelmed with emotions I didn't know how to handle the situation. I'm ashamed when I think about that night. I'm a grown woman and I let my nerves get the best of me. Can you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive."

"I'm not nervous anymore," Juliet said. "I've decided to follow my heart."

"And where does your heart lead you?"

"It leads me to you." Juliet closed her eyes and sighed. "My heart was broken when you left the bar with that woman. I knew you'd be kissing and touching her and it nearly drove me insane. I was so jealous I hardly slept that night."

"I didn't go through with it. I did take her to a motel, but all I thought about was you. A few minutes after we got there I pretended I didn't feel well. She must have thought I was out of my mind, but I didn't care."

"I want to be the one you want," Juliet whispered.

"You are. I don't want to be with anyone else."

"I'm tired of fighting this."

"Then don't. We both need to stop fighting."

Juliet's eyes were fixed on Lucia's lips as Lucia lifted her hand and kissed it. The memory of those lips touching hers made her more aroused than ever. "There's only one thing left for us to do."

Apparently, Lucia had no need to ask what that was. She kissed Juliet passionately and when she finally broke away she asked, "This time will you stay with me?"

Juliet's lips brushed against Lucia's. "I'm not going anywhere."

Lucia stood, pulling Juliet up with her. "Let's go inside."

IN THE BEDROOM, Lucia led Juliet to the bed. Even though she ached with desire she felt no need to rush. They had surrendered after many days fraught with longing and Lucia understood that they had crossed a threshold. From this point on their relationship would be altered and that was a reality she welcomed rather than feared. "Did you ever think that you and I would be here like this?"

"Not until the last day or two." Juliet brought Lucia's hand to her mouth.

"I want this to be good for you."

"How could it not be good?" Juliet kissed Lucia's fingers.

"It's been so long for me," Lucia whispered. "I'm a little nervous."

"But you've had other women."

"I never cared about them." Lucia cupped Juliet's cheek. "I care about you and that makes this an entirely different experience." Lucia lost herself in Juliet's bottomless blue eyes as she tenderly brushed Juliet's hair from her forehead. "It means so much to me to feel this way again. You have no idea."