Cart Before The Horse (6 page)

took me to TP my first house, so I’ll take him. Or her.” He felt giddy. “This is going to be a fun adventure.”

“You’re planning on corrupting our child?” Her eyes had opened wide like he’d sentenced the child to a life of crime.

“No, just giving him a normal life.” He reached across the table and took her hand. “I think along the way I’ll give you some adventure too. You’re never too old to learn to have a
little fun.”

“You don’t think I’m fun?” Her mouth gaped open.

“I didn’t say that.” God, was he always going to have to watch his mouth? “I remember having a lot of fun with you.”

Her cheeks filled with color, and she looked away
from him.

How had she made it this far in her life so afraid of who she was?
It burned in him, a need to show her that she was special and amazing. What would it take to make Holly understand that she was a gift to everyone who had the honor to know her? Especially him.

“Holly, let go a little.
Just because things in your life didn’t follow the big rule book of the universe, it doesn’t mean you can’t do fun things now.” He sat back and picked up his spoon. “By the way. My mother is planning a trip out here for Thanksgiving to meet you. I realize you probably will have plans with your family, but we’d like to have you over for dinner so you can meet my family.”

“That’s two months away.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, so.”

She set her hands in her lap.
“I’ll make sure to be here.” She looked around the room and then back at him. “What did she say when you told her?”

He tossed his hands in the air and smiled at her. “She screamed out loud.
She’s so excited she can’t wait.”

“But she doesn’t know me.”

“But I do.”

“And that’s okay with her?
A total stranger is having your

baby and she thinks that’s great?”

“Well, Holly, you’re not much of a stranger, but yes.
She’s very happy for us.”

“Who else have you told?”

“Well…” he bit off a piece of the bread in his hand. “I called all four of my sisters. My cousin Anne. My uncle of course and my Grandma Gertie.”

Holly ran her hand over her hair. “I guess it would have been easier to ask who haven’t you called.”

“How about you? Who have you told?”

“Tracy knows.
She was as surprised as I was.”

“That’s it?
Your boss?” He didn’t think he was so bad that she should hide him from the world. Wasn’t she the least bit excited about this baby? About him?

“Did you want me to take an ad out in the paper?”

“Don’t you think you should tell your parents?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” She sat back in her chair and put her napkin on the table.
“I’m not in the mood to hear about it.”

How could he have chosen someone so unattached to fam
ily? He usually picked women so much like himself—not this time obviously. “Where do they live?”

“Boulder.”

“So you see them often?”

“Every couple of weeks or so.” She lifted her shoulders and dropped them again.

“And you don’t think your mother is going to see right through you?”

“Oh, she will.
I won’t even have to tell her, and she’ll know. She’ll shake her head and give me her opinion on the matter. She’s traditional. I suppose even as a prodigy, I was a bit of a disappointment.” Her forehead wrinkled when she worried. It was charming, but he didn’t like knowing it meant she felt uncomfortable about the situation.

“I can go with you and we can tell them together.”

Holly shook her head and sat back up, leaning her arms on

the table. “It would be better for you to let me handle the grief she’ll give me, and then she can work on accepting you before she meets you.”

“Offer stands.” She was the mother of his child, but she was so closed off to him. He needed to be patient, no matter how difficult it was, and show her she could trust him enough to let him in.
“I’m pretty good at winning over mothers.”

The next morning Holly dug into the paperwork on her desk. When had things begun piling up so much?

Besides, if she buried herself in her work, like she used to do, she could forget about how nauseated she felt.

Tracy opened the door. “You’re here early again.”

She looked up. “I’m so far behind.”

“You only took off one day.”

“Seems like a week.
Did you get the graphics I e-mailed you last night? I think the line Sebastian is designing for next fall could use that pattern if you can sell it to him.”

Tracy shut the door behind her and walked to Holly’s desk.
The bracelets on her arms clinked together. “You sent me that file at one this morning.”

“I was awake.
I had to occupy my mind.”

“And what was keeping you awake?
The owner of a fine food establishment?” Tracy asked as she picked up a snow globe Holly kept on her desk and gave it a shake.

Holly bit down on the side of her cheek and thought about Gabe.
His face had etched itself in her mind. “If you must know, yes.”

Tracy smiled.
“So tell me all about him.”

She shuffled through a report and took a yellow highlighter to a line. “He’s a very nice man.
He’s very excited about the baby and wants to be part of everything.”

“That’s great.
So what do you think? A little romance too?”

Just thinking of him made her chest tighten uncomfortably.
 

There was no way she could even consider more than
friendship.

“No.” She sat up straight and set the highlighter on the desk. “I made it perfectly clear that we would remain friends who share a child.”

“Huh, friends? Sounds boring.”

“It sounds logical.”
Holly picked up the stack of papers from her desk and filed them in her drawer and wished she could file the conversation they were having along with them. “I’m already entering into this backward. The last thing I need is some guy pretending to pay attention to me because he knocked me up. He wants to be part of everything and raise this baby together, that’s fine. But I’m not looking for love.”

“Maybe you should.”

“He’s already married.”

Tracy’s jaw dropped and she let out a loud breath.
“Damn. Married?”

Holly rolled her shoulders to ease the tension building in them.
“Okay, that’s not fair. He’s widowed.”

“Oh,” Tracy sighed sadly.

“Point is, neither of us needs more involvement than this. Don’t you think a baby is enough involvement?”

“Whatever you think.”
Tracy stood and walked back to the door. “But he’s cute, right?”

“Gorgeous.” And didn’t that make things harder?

“Very nice. And you will be spending time with him?”

“He wants me to be at the restaurant every night so he can feed me.”

“Even better. And you’re telling your parents when?”

Holly let her hands fall onto her desk.
“I’ll get around to it.”

“She’ll know the minute she looks at you.”

“I know.” Holly slumped in her chair. “I wish there was some way I could make her accept it, but she’s just going to fly off the handle.”

“You could get married.”

“Your opinion is no longer welcome.
I have work to do.” She shooed her with her hand. “Go away.”

Tracy laughed.
“Okay, okay. I’ll send those designs to Sebastian and let you know what he thinks. And, Holly, congratulations on your baby. I never did tell you yesterday.”

Tracy shut the door, and Holly swiveled around to look out the window and over the city.

Marriage. It was a horrible thought, but it was a thought.

She should feel guilty that she was even thinking about it. He hadn’t asked her to marry him or even brought up the su
bject. However, if she let her mother believe she was getting married, it would keep her mother at bay for a while. It was genius.

She could hint that she was getting married.
It would be a good segue into their meeting Gabe. Then in a week or so she could tell them about the baby. Maybe in a few months, she could tell her parents they were breaking up.

She’d never lied to her parents and she didn’t intend to do it now.
It would be okay to lead into a misconception. Sure, it would sting, but it wouldn’t be going in to lie.

Her skin began to heat and her arms began to itch.

It would all be okay.
If they liked Gabe, they’d be fine with him hanging around to raise the baby. She had to admit Tracy’s stupid idea might be her ticket. It was worth it for everyone involved if she twisted the truth just enough.

Holly picked up the phone and began to dial her mother’s phone number.
If her voice didn’t shake too badly and set her mother into a mode of concern, she’d invite her to lunch and set it all in motion.

She hung up the phone, and the fear bubbled in her stomach and moved up into her throat.
She ran down the hall to the bathroom. First she’d get sick, and then she’d call her mother.

Trudy Jacobs looked fabulous, as always, Holly thought as

she approached her mother in the Cheesecake Factory. She sat

at the table with a martini already in hand watching the people that passed by her.

She’d always carried herself with class. No one who met her would ever have known the woman grew up in a house with no running water because they couldn’t afford it or that she’d worn only hand-me-downs and clothes from the Goodwill—or that she’d left home with a man at the tender age
of fifteen.

Wasn’t it amazing what meeting a man could do to you?
He could make you feel invincible, her mother always told her. And that wasn’t always a good thing.

Her mother had always made sure she understood that men could coax you into anything.
Holly swore she’d never run away to be with a boy, but she felt the same kind of shame standing there watching her mother. She hadn’t run away or lied to be with a man, but now here she was in the exact situation her mother always warned her about. She rested her hand on her stomach and willed it to settle.

Of course, the man her mother had left her meek beginnings with, and married at such a young age, wasn’t Holly’s father.
But it was because of her upbringing and her first husband that she’d set the bar so high for Holly. She’d been very clear about not wanting Holly to settle for less than what she deserved. And because Holly had such success with her job, wore the best clothes, drove the best car, and lived in the best place, it was not only a notch in her belt but in her mother’s as well. Not that she’d ever admit to Holly that she was proud of her.

“Hello, Mother.” Holly approached the table, and her mother turned toward her.

“Holly, don’t you look lovely.” She reached her hand to her and gave Holly’s fingers a squeeze, but she didn’t rise to hug her or give her cheek a kiss like most mothers would. “Sit. Sit. Would you like a martini?”

“No.”
The waiter approached the table. “I’ll have an iced

tea, please.”

When he left, her mother took a mirror from her purse and checked her makeup, then proceeded to fix her lipstick from a gold tube. “I was so pleased you called me for lunch.
We haven’t done this in a while.” She pressed her lips together and gave herself one last glance before tucking the mirror and lipstick back in her purse.

“I’ve been busy.
We’ve picked up some big accounts,” she said, straightening her shoulders and smiling, but her mother’s attention had already diverted to the people who moved around them. Holly took the moment to shrug out of her jacket. Her mother had always been more interested in the people around her than she’d ever been in her own daughter, or at least when it came to hearing about her successes. Holly learned early on that it was jealousy, and though her mother expected much of her, she’d rather not have Holly’s successes rubbed in her face when she hadn’t even finished high school herself.

“Your father should be here soon.
He wanted to have
lunch with us.”

A wave of sickness churned in her stomach. Holly shifted as the waiter set the iced tea in front of her.
She took a sip and tried to suppress the nausea that rippled through her. Well, it would be best to tell them both at the same time. Perhaps her father would soften the blow.

When her father walked through the door of the restaurant, her mother was already on her second martini.
Holly stood and her father gave her the warm embrace her mother had
denied her.