Cart Before The Horse (19 page)

Her mother laughed lightly.
“I wanted so much for you. I never wanted this to happen to you.”

“It’s not such a bad deal.
Fate just worked a little backward for me.” Holly smiled and wiped a tear from her mother’s cheek. “Really, what would it be if I didn’t do it a little backward?”

“I can see Gabe’s love for you in his eyes too.
You mean the

world to him.”

“I know.”
And at that moment she did. “It’s not how I would have planned it, but I’m happy. I want you to be happy for me. For all of us.”

“I am.”

“I don’t want a big wedding, Mother. I want something small with the people who accepted me for who I was. I don’t want the ones who don’t know me to see this joyous moment in my life. It’s not for them. It’s for me and Gabe and our baby.”

Her mother stood quietly and stared at her.
For the first time, Holly knew she couldn’t find any excuse in the world to hide behind. Holly had finally made a decision and stood behind it, no matter what it might have done to hurt her mother.

Her mother’s shoulders dropped and she inhaled an unste
ady breath. “I’m sorry I made you feel so bad.”

“And I’m sorry I resented you for it and didn’t tell you.”
Holly reached for her mother’s purse, which sat in the chair against the wall. True to Trudy Jacobs’s style, there was a handkerchief in the side pocket. Holly pulled it out and wiped away the stray tears on her mother’s cheeks. “I love you. And I know I love Gabe. And the most amazing thing is the love I have for this baby.” She rested a hand on her stomach. “I want us to be as happy as you and Daddy have always been.”

“I hope you are.” Her mother touched her cheek.
“Let’s finish here and get to lunch. I’m starving, and your father says Gabe has a meatloaf to die for.”

Holly felt the unmistakable quickening in her stomach as her mother turned from her and looked in the mirror.
It would be quite a moment to share with her, but as she placed her hands on her stomach, she realized she wasn’t ready. They’d made a lot of progress standing there in the dressing room, but Holly wasn’t ready to share that moment with anyone but Gabe. She turned her back to her mother to keep the joyous feeling inside of her secret. It was her moment. All hers.

Chapter Eleven

A
fter the day with her mother, Holly had to agree on one thing. She and Gabe needed to sit down and finalize everything for the wedding.

“My mother will be here on Monday,” he said as he scooped a spoonful of noodles from the paper carton Holly had picked up at Mr. Chan’s.
It had been a long time since they’d eaten in Gabe’s kitchen. She knew he didn’t have any food—or anything she’d want to eat.

“Where will they be staying?”

“Chez Gabe’s Place,” he mimicked a French accent. “My sisters are on their own, but I think they’ll be fine. Too bad we haven’t closed on the house. It would be a nice place for them all to stay.” His voice carried a hint of humor, but she knew she’d been less than enthusiastic with her reaction.

Holly put down her chopsticks and folded her arms on the table.
“Fine. Let’s talk about the house.”

Gabe shook his head.
“Not yet.” He swallowed his noodles. “I haven’t cleared the kitchen of knives yet.”

Holly dropped her shoulders and let out a huff.
“Gabe, I wasn’t very nice about it, and I’ve come to realize that I didn’t need to be so…”

“Mean?
Nasty?”

“I was neither of those things.”

He choked on a piece of sesame chicken and quickly washed it down with his beer. “You’re right. My mistake. But please go on with your apology.”

Holly glared at him.
“I’d like to see it.”

“The house?”

“Of course the house.
You didn’t back out of it, did you?”

“No.
To be honest, I was hoping you’d have a change of heart.”

Holly sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest.
“You did, huh?’

Gabe shrugged.
“I have to hope.”

“Well…” She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest.
He thought he knew her so well. Maybe he did. Maybe she didn’t know herself as well as she’d thought. “It sounds nice, and as we know, we can’t fit the baby and both of us in my condo or up here in your apartment.”

“I’m glad you see that.
And I’ll arrange for us to look at it tomorrow.”

“How busy is it downstairs?
Can we drive by it now?”

Gabe fumbled with his chopsticks and finally picked up the piece of chicken with his fingers and popped it into his mouth.
“If Chandra doesn’t kill me, we’ll go look.”

The sun had set, and the chill of November blew through Gabe’s light coat. But the smile Holly tried to hide as they pulled up in front of the house warmed him.

The light by the door illuminated the porch and the front yard, which glistened under a dusting of snow.
It sparkled like her eyes, and he thought it was a good sign.

Holly had perched herself in the seat and cranked her neck to get in a good view.
The house boasted a big hill in the front yard with steps to the front door, which was part of the charm in these old Denver neighborhoods. He’d assured himself that the house faced south. There would be less shoveling in
the winter.

A few moments later, a car pulled up behind them, and Holly twisted in her seat.
“Are those the owners?”

Gabe shook his head.
“It’s my friend Doug. He’s going to show you the house.”

“This is his house?”

“He’s my real estate agent.
I didn’t see any reason in making you wait to see it.” Holly crinkled up her nose and then tucked her lips between her teeth. He cocked his head to the side. “Is this okay?” Holly nodded and Gabe reached for her hand. “What’s wrong? Please don’t be sad.”

“I’m not sad,” she said, batting at her eyes.
“Everything makes me emotional lately.”

“You’re entitled.”
He lifted her fingers to his lips and kissed them. “Do you still want to see it?”

Holly nodded again.

Gabe stepped out of the car and shook Doug’s hand before opening the car door for Holly.

He introduced Holly to Doug and then he led them up the six narrow steps of the yard, which led to the walk and four more broad steps to the front porch.
When Doug pushed open the door and switched on the lights, Holly’s gasp brought a warmth to Gabe’s body, but her eyes still creased at the edges. There was still a fight to be had over it, but he knew he’d win. He’d had a lot of practice winning over emotional women.

“Gabe, look at this floor.”
She stood in the entry with her lips parted. “It’s beautiful.”

Doug shut the front door. “The previous owners had it i
nstalled just last year. There’s hardwood all throughout this first floor, and the rest of the house was newly carpeted just six months ago.” Doug pointed up. “The chandelier was shipped in from France.”

“Oh, it’s beautiful.”
Holly let out a sigh. “Why would they want to move?”

“New job. New city. Let me show you the dining room.”

Holly followed Doug down the hall. The dining room boasted a similar chandelier and a china hutch built into the wall. The glass shelves were backlit, filling the room with elegance.

“My mother would love this room.”

“You can bring her by if you’d like.”
Gabe rested his hand on the small of her back.

Holly gave a little grunt and turned her attention to the d
ecorative crown molding.

Doug walked them through a swinging oak door and into the kitchen, and this time Gabe smiled.
The previous owners had loved to entertain, and the kitchen and back porch had been renovated into an enormous great room. The appliances were top of the line, and the countertops a dark granite.

Doug turned on every light in the kitchen then searched for the switch for the lights that illuminated the enormous fireplace mantel. “With stools at the breakfast bar, a kitchen table, and couches and chairs in the living area, this space seated about thirty guests.”

The corners of Holly’s mouth dropped. “Gabe, I can’t entertain like that.”

“You don’t have to.
We could fill it with children.” When she spun to him, her face had lost its color. He couldn’t help but wonder when she’d completely loosen up around him. It wasn’t as if he’d said there weren’t any options and they
had
to have six or seven kids. “We can discuss that later.”

Doug showed them the powder room and the formal living room before they walked up the staircase to examine the be
drooms.

The master bedroom was at the back of the house and ove
rlooked the small backyard. Holly did a little dance when she saw the jetted tub, but quickly stiffened back up as if she hadn’t wanted Gabe to see that she did in fact like parts of the house.

He was hoping the closet would be a selling point.
She’d been worried that in her own condo there wasn’t any room for him. That shouldn’t be an issue in this house. There was a walk-in closet for each of them. And, in time, he’d gladly let her know he’d keep his meek wardrobe elsewhere if she needed the space. But that too was a discussion for another time.

The other bedrooms were the perfect sizes for children to

play and grow in.
And the basement was as big as the living area of the house and unfinished. It was the perfect location for a playroom in which children could run until they’d outgrown the wonder of imagination. Then they could have a game room. Gabe was becoming more excited about the whole prospect.

“What are you thinking?” Holly leaned into him and traced his mouth with her finger, and he realized he was grinning.

“Making plans in my head.” At her narrowing eyes, he added, “And I’m leaving them there.”

Holly had asked to walk through the house once more, alone, and the men settled in the kitchen and let her explore.
When she returned, they walked out the front door, and Doug locked it behind them. Gabe stood with Doug a moment after Holly climbed in the car.

“She doesn’t look sold,” Doug said quietly even though Holly was out of range to hear them.

“I’m quickly learning she has to process things. Let’s keep things where they are with the sellers. Worst-case scenario, I own a house and we have to sell it again.”

“You’ve always amazed me with your optimistic outlook on things.” Doug slapped his shoulder and walked to his car.

Gabe stood a moment longer and looked at the house. There was a peace in standing on the step looking up at it. It had been years since he’d felt at home. Years before he’d moved to Denver and even before he and Jasmine had bought their first house together. In fact, that house hadn’t felt as comfortable as the empty one before him. He needed the house as much as he needed Holly and the baby. When had he grown so needy?

“Gabe.” Her voice carried through the cold.
“Are you
coming?”

“Yeah.
I’ll be right there.” He took a deep breath and let the moment surround him. He was happy.

Holly wasn’t sure what to say as they drove back to the restaurant. Her head was spinning and her emotions were, again,

on a rollercoaster that teetered between elation and panic. Tears were possible on either side.

She didn’t want to fall in love with the house—but she had.
Color schemes and furniture filled her mind. Landscape and planter boxes, beds and rocking chairs, china and stemware clouded her thinking. If she told him all of her ideas, he’d for sure close the deal, and she wasn’t sure she wanted him to,
not yet.

There was the letting go she’d demanded of her mother that she was finding she couldn’t do for herself.
If he bought the house and they got married and built a nursery, it was final. Everything she’d worked for would be no longer. Holly Jacobs would be no longer. She would be Gabe’s wife. She would be a baby’s mother. The inexorable motion of it terrified her. With or without the house, which she loved, she’d be a wife and a mother. She’d committed to those things. And there was no reason she couldn’t still be one of the best damn textile designers in the world. Then she knew she’d have to decide if that was really what she still wanted.

Gabe parked behind the kitchen entrance of the restaurant.
The door was open, and the noise from the dinner crowd filtered outside into the alley.

“Sounds like we’re having a rush.” He turned off the engine and quickly tucked his keys in his pocket and then reached for the door handle.

He was the lifeblood of the restaurant. People relied on him. She’d disrupted his pattern of life by taking him out of the restaurant the night of her birthday. “I shouldn’t have taken
you away.”

Gabe let go of the door handle. “They’re going to have to get used to me being gone.
I think they have it under control.”

“Why will you be gone?”

Gabe shifted in his seat and looked at her. “Holly, I want to be with you and the baby. I can’t keep the hours I was keeping and do that. I moved out here to move on, and this is how I did

it. Now it’s time to move on again and let go of some of the control. Chandra has a man coming in for an interview next week.”

Guilt pressed down on her chest.
Because of her, he was giving up everything he’d worked so hard for. Who would Gabe Maguire be if he didn’t work so hard? How could they afford to raise a family, a child, if they both weren’t working? “You’re going to hire someone to take over?”

Gabe laughed.
“We’ll find someone to take over the bartending duties.”

“What about Chandra?”

“It’s time she got the recognition for running the place, since she does it most of the time anyway.”

Holly nodded.
Gabe was willing to give up so much for her, and here she was worried that things were going to change. When had she become so selfish?

She turned to him and pulled him close to her.
The heat of his body against hers was as welcoming as the entry to the house as she pressed her lips to his. His mouth was pliant under hers, and his serenity calmed her.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” In the dim glow of the kitchen light, his eyes shimmered.

“No.
You don’t understand. This is all crazy, and I’m trying so hard to accept it. I love you and I love our baby and I love the house.” She sucked in a breath. “I love this restaurant and I
love Chandra.”

The corners of his mouth turned up, and he pressed his brow to hers. “She’ll be glad to hear it.”

“I want it all. I want my career. I want my baby. I want a beautiful wedding.” She swallowed hard and placed a hand to her chest, covering her rapidly beating heart. “And, Gabe, I want the house.”