Carnal Compromise (23 page)

“He tried to protect AJ,” Brent pointed out softly, “so that’s one big point in his favor. It still doesn’t seem fair, though, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t.” His throat tightened again. “When I was sixteen, I was driving too fast on the gravel and put my truck upside down in the ditch. I wasn’t wearing a seat belt but I walked away with nothing more than a concussion. How come a miserable bastard like me gets a second chance, and a stubborn little shit like Dietz gets a second chance, but my son…”

When his throat got too thick to go on, Brent shook his head. “Only the good Lord knows, Joe, and He’s not sayin’. But none of us are ever guaranteed a second chance. That’s why we’ve got to grab hold of this love while we can.”

Joe closed his eyes against the tears and the shaking in his chest. Christ, he was so damn tempted to just give in and take whatever Brent and AJ offered for however long it lasted. It wasn’t lost on him that if he’d ever been able to talk to his wife this way, she might never have left him. Already he could feel the guilt easing, the burden lightening simply through the sharing of it.

But it felt dishonorable to accept their love and comfort when he had so little to offer in return. Could he be what they needed any more than he’d been what Caroline needed? What if he failed them the way he’d failed his family? He couldn’t bear to see the kind of recrimination on their faces he’d seen on Caroline’s, and he couldn’t bear to lose them once he’d let them in. His heart just couldn’t take it again.

“Just give—” He cleared his throat. “Just give me a little time, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He walked out without looking at Brent and trudged heavily through the camper. But the minute he stepped into the bunkroom and flipped on the light, he knew something was wrong. AJ wasn’t there and her bed was made.

He opened her top drawer and cursed. It was empty.

She’d left them.

Feeling sick, he strode back to the master bedroom. Brent hadn’t moved from the bed, and he frowned when he saw Joe’s face.

“What’s wrong?”

“AJ’s gone.”

Brent sat straight up. “Gone? What do you mean, gone?”

“All her stuff’s gone—clothes, computer, everything.” Joe shot him a pointed look. “I don’t suppose you told
her
you loved her?”

Brent’s mind went blank for a minute. “Shit! You don’t think she…” Then he closed his eyes and counted to ten before he hopped off the bed. “God dammit, I’m going to tan her little ass for running off like this.”

“You’ll have to get in line behind me.”

When the elevator door opened, AJ hitched her stuff higher on her tired shoulders and made her way toward the nurse’s station. Since she’d arrived in Sioux Falls at the ungodly hour of 2:30 a.m. and had nowhere to go until Seth’s surgery at 6:30, she’d just pulled into a rest area and dozed in the pickup.

Now her eyes were gritty from crying and lack of sleep, and she had a crick in her neck from curling up sideways on the bench seat, but she wanted to get Tim’s keys to him so that she could get out of here and get on with her life. Where she was going, she wasn’t sure. She might be able to hire on with another custom farm company, though she wouldn’t list Brent as a reference after running out like that. Or she could try to find work as a hired hand, but in her experience, farmers and ranchers were even less interested in hiring a woman than custom outfits were.

Mandy’s offer came to mind but she dismissed it immediately. As much as she adored both Mandy and Hake, being with them would tear her apart, especially when Brent and Joe came back around. This needed to be a clean break, for all their sakes. She’d find something, make her way somehow. She always had. And she wouldn’t touch a penny of her savings to do it. One of these days, she was going to have her own farm again, her own home, with horses and dogs and cats, and maybe even a man who’d love her just for herself.

When she asked about Seth, the nurse pointed her down the hall toward the surgery waiting area, which was surprisingly full given the hour. She didn’t even have to look for Tim—he saw her first and stood up.

“AJ, what are you doing here?” he asked. She held out the keys and he pocketed them with a puzzled look. “Thanks. I thought Keith and Eric were bringing it up.”

“Plans changed.” She set her stuff down next to an empty chair and turned to give him a hug. “How are you?”

“Okay, I guess. Scared. Can you stay for a while? Have you eaten anything?”

She looked at the clock on the wall, and then wondered why. Where did she have to be? Nowhere so important she couldn’t sit with a friend while his only brother was in surgery.

“Yeah, I can stay for a while.” His look of relief broke her heart. “And I could use a cup of coffee or something. I just need to find the ladies’ first.”

He pointed at the far wall where men’s and women’s doors were side by side. “You can leave your stuff here if you want. I’ll watch it.”

AJ took off her coat and left all her belongings on the chair beside him while she went in and took care of business. Washing her hands, she noticed how pale and crappy she looked, so she took the time to splash cold water on her face. The shock of it put some life back into her eyes, and she sighed as she dried off with a paper towel. Too bad it couldn’t do the same for her heart.

When she emerged, Tim was sitting there holding her coat, but the chair beside him was empty.

“Uh, Tim…where’s my stuff?”

He looked at her from under his brows for a second before nodding toward the hallway. She turned and froze, her heart pounding.

Brent and Joe stood there in their coats and caps, holding her duffel and laptop. Neither of them looked happy. Though Joe appeared to have escaped relatively unscathed, last night’s brawl had taken a toll on Brent’s face. He had a black eye, his lower lips was swollen and there was a big abrasion on the right side of his chin.

“Go on,” Tim said. “You look tired as hell.”

“But I was going to stay with you,” she protested.

“I’ll be fine. I only asked you to stay because Brent called in the middle of the night and told me if I saw you, to keep you here.”

She made a face at him. “Way to make me feel wanted.”

Tim looked at Brent and Joe and then gave her a shit-eating grin. “Oh, I don’t think there’s any doubt you’re wanted, AJ. Now go on. Let them take care of you.”

She took her coat and leaned down to give him a hug, then made her way with some trepidation toward the two scowling men waiting for her at the door.

Brent took her elbow in a steely grip and pulled her down the hall.

“It’s not nice to leave him here by himself,” she told them in an annoyed tone.

“He knows we’re in town and he’ll call when there’s any news,” Brent said severely. “You know, we almost called the police on you.”

“The police! Why?”

“Well, what were we supposed to think? You took off with Seth and Tim’s pickup in the middle of the night. For all we knew, you were stealing it.”

She stopped short. “Stealing it! That’s bullshit. You know I’d never steal.”

“I didn’t think so, but then I didn’t think you’d be coward enough to run off in the middle of the night and leave me short-handed, either.”

She flushed. “Well, I’m sorry, but I just…had to get out of there. It was an emergency.”

He gave her a look that said she was full of shit and then started towing her down the hall again. In the elevator, he tapped her coat and she put it on without a word.

Ten minutes later, they pulled up in front of a suite hotel. They’d put her in the back seat with her stuff and hadn’t said a word on the way over. When the three of them walked through the lobby, the clerk gave them a look of speculation that made her blush.

Once inside the darkened third-floor suite, AJ slipped off her coat and waited ’til they’d hung theirs in the small closet beside the bathroom before she did the same. She took her time, wondering what the hell she was going to say to them. Actually, wondering why the hell they’d bothered coming after her in the first place. Usually when employees left without notice, employers just sucked it up and hired someone new instead of chasing after them.

Brent slid his hands over her shoulders and turned her, half-marching her over to the sofa. After he urged her to the seat, he switched on the lamp and crouched in front of her, laying his hands on her knees. Even with the heater running in the next room, the silence was deafening.

“Now what was this big emergency?” he finally asked.

Meeting his penetrating gaze had never been harder, and once she did, she found herself unable to speak.

“Cat got your tongue, little girl?” Joe sank down on the cushion beside her and rested his arm along the back of the sofa. “Come on, tell us what kind of emergency made you run off in the night.”

God, how could she admit the truth to them? It sounded so pathetic and sad. After a moment, she simply said, “You didn’t need me anymore.”

“You don’t think we need you when Seth just lost a leg and Tim is looking after him?” Joe demanded.

She bit her lip and let her head hang down as tears suddenly spilled from her eyes. When she tried to cover her face with her hands, Brent trapped them between his on her lap.

“Ariel, how could you possibly think we don’t need you?” he asked softly.

“I mean you two don’t need me as a buffer between you.” She wiped her face on her shoulder. “You worked out what was keeping you apart, and now you’re together.”

“
We’re
together?” Joe repeated incredulously.

“You’re in love with each other, and you always have been,” AJ said flatly. “Don’t try to deny it, Joe, because it just won’t wash. You belong together. Period. I’m sorry about running out on you, I really am, but I just can’t handle being the third wheel.”

Brent watched her intently. “On a tricycle, the third wheel is just as important as the other two, Ariel.”

“Yeah, well, we’re not talking about trikes, are we?” she shot back. Tugging her hands free, she kneed him aside and stood up. Once she had some distance between them, she took a deep breath and faced them with her fingers jammed into the back pockets of her jeans. “You know, my whole life, I felt like I was never enough for anyone. I was never son enough for my father, or daughter enough for my mother, or woman enough for my husband.

“But I’m done with being the consolation prize.” She shrugged. “I want more, and for once, I think I’m worth more.”

“Ariel, you belong with us,” Brent said flatly.

“I don’t want to be the extra!” she practically shouted.

Brent jumped to his feet and got in her face. “So the fact that I’m crazy in love with you means nothing, huh?”

She blinked at him. “You are?”

“Hell yes! Ariel Jane, how could you be so observant about my feelings for Joe and yet so blind to my feelings for you?” He heaved a big sigh and scratched his head. “I’m sorry, but you two are driving me crazy trying to pawn me off on each other. Joe thinks he can leave me because I’ve got you, and you think you can leave me because I’ve got Joe. Don’t either of you love me enough to stay?”

AJ’s eyes filled again and her lips trembled. “Of course I do,” she whispered. “But—”

“Thank God.” He pulled her against him, kissing her damp eyelashes and then her lips. “Don’t ever scare me like that again. You took ten years off my life last night.”

“But it’s not that simple,” she insisted, trying to pull back.

Brent’s grip on her tightened. “Why not?”

“Well, because…” She swallowed. “You and Joe loved each other long before you ever met me.”

“We were attracted to each other,” he corrected. “But did you see us doing anything about it?” Before she could answer, he continued. “No. And if it was up to me, we never would have because I knew if I took him on his terms, I’d lose him. I couldn’t risk that.”

She nodded in understanding. “Having a part of him was better than nothing.”

“Exactly. But loving you was easy, Ariel Jane. Maybe too damn easy.” He lowered his head and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Loving you took away a lot of my fear and made me realize what I might be missing out on by keeping the only man I’d ever love at arm’s length. Without you, I was afraid to take the risk. With you, I was afraid
not
to.”

“Oh Brent,” she whispered as the tears spilled over again. He couldn’t have paid her a higher compliment if he’d tried. She wrapped her arms tight around his neck. “I do love you. I love you both.”

“Well, I thought you did, and since you seem to read my mind most of the time, I figured you knew how I felt. Sorry, sweetheart—guess I shouldn’t have taken that for granted.”

He pulled back and looked at her, his brown eyes earnest. “It may have crossed my mind to use you as a buffer, Ariel, but that plan went out the window our very first night together. We
did
need you—not as a buffer but as a bridge. I would never have had the courage to go after Joe if I hadn’t had you to catch me if I fell. You’re the strongest of all of us, honey. You’re the big wheel on this tricycle, and Joe and I are just the two little ones who go where you go.”

AJ smiled wryly through her tears. “You know, you had me right up until the big wheel bit.”

“A little over the top?” He grinned. “You’re the one who loves analogies.”

“Okay, fine—the trike analogy gets a pass, but which of us is the big wheel is still up for debate.” She bit her lip. “Do you really think three of us can make it work?”

“Of course we can. Hell, we’ve already proved we can work together and live together, haven’t we? Why couldn’t we make it work?” Then he dropped one more quick kiss on her lips and turned to face Joe. “What about you, Josiah? Are you going to let go of all that guilt and grief, quit trying to save the world one stupid young farmer at a time and just let us love you? Are you staying on this tricycle with us?”

Chapter Nineteen

Joe looked back and forth between Brent and AJ, wanting desperately to say yes. Holy hell, there was nothing he’d like more than to spend the rest of his life with the two of them.

“I’m still afraid,” he said starkly.

“You think I’m not?” Brent demanded. “Well, let me tell you, hell yes, I’m afraid. My parents fell in love, and they got married and had me, happily ever after and all that crap—and then my mom fell out of love and divorced my dad. He gave her his heart forever, and she had no use for it. Forty years later, he’s still waiting for her to come back.”