Capturing the Alpha (Shifters of Nunavut Book 1) (14 page)

“He’s my rock, and I knew all these years that he…” Tears began to gather in her eyes. “…that he was in love with me, and I pretended like I didn’t, because I knew that the moment either of us said it aloud, nothing would ever be the same between us again. I was so afraid of losing him that I let him keep believing he had a chance. How is that not my fault?”

Zane brushed the corners of her eyes with his thumbs. “I am not saying that what you did was right, I’m saying that you’re
both
at fault. If he really has been in love with you for so long, then he should have told you. No matter what he may claim, a man knows when he is and is not wanted. If he thought for a second that you wanted to be with him, he would never have waited this long to confess his feelings.”

“You don’t know him like I do. He’s shy, he—”

“That is not your problem. Whether or not you were leading him on, there is something to be said for allowing yourself to be led. He wanted to preserve your friendship as much as you, and he does not get to make you shoulder all of the guilt.”

Looking down at her, with eyes wet and her lips trembling, Zane didn’t care that they weren’t alone, and he wanted badly to kiss her. His wolf wanted much more than that, and he wasn’t sure he could hold it back. During his brief hesitation, she rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “Can I lay with you tonight? It’s really cold.”

Zane nodded, though he knew she couldn’t see it. He wrapped his pelt around them both, and then pulled her close and rested his chin on the top of her head. Enzo feigned disinterest, though Zane knew he was watching them. It didn’t stop him from stroking her back until she fell asleep, her head against his chest.

Ginnifer scanned the note one last time, just to be certain she hadn’t screwed anything up. She handed Marl the last of her pills, a blood pressure medication. Marl said it made her pee smell bad, but Ginnifer had a hard time believing that she knew which of the medications was causing that particular side effect.

Indigo hadn’t been kidding when she’d said that Marl was on a lot of medications. Apparently, one of the reasons Marl made regular visits to Port Trent was because she had numerous health problems, many of which made her present issues seem insignificant by comparison.

Through broken conversations over the last three days, Ginnifer had found out that Marl was much older than she’d first suspected, not in her fifties, but just shy of seventy. Enzo was a year older than Ginnifer, and also the youngest of Marl’s four children, the rest whom she’d had in her early twenties with her deceased husband, an abusive drunk.

Marl took the pills with a swallow of water. Her skin looked paper thin, and her lips were cracked.

“I’m feeling better already,” she said, trying to sit up in the sled.

Ginnifer gently pushed her back down. “That’s the painkillers talking.”

“Tell them to take me home, girl.”

Frowning, Ginnifer looked back to where Zane and Enzo had disappeared into the forest. It seemed like forever since they’d left to scout the area, and she wished that at least Enzo had stayed. Marl was always hardest to deal with in the evenings. The final sparks of humor in her faded with the setting sun, and that was when she’d beg to go back. Usually it was Enzo that placated her, and Ginnifer tried to think of what he might say.

“Once we get you to Port Trent, I bet they’ll give you some of the good stuff. I’ll bet that by tomorrow night, you’ll be hooked up to a morphine drip, and in a heated room, too.”

Marl was shaking her head. “They’ll never let me out. They’ll drug me until I can’t think straight, and then the next think I know, I’ll be waking up in a nursing home.”

“Don’t think like that.”

“It’s been over twenty years since I’ve lived out there,” Marl said, her eyes going distant. “I don’t belong there anymore. I can’t die around all of that concrete and glass.”

Ginnifer gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “You’re not dying.”

Marl didn’t seem to hear her. She kept on talking, her eyes becoming increasingly unfocused.

“That factory meat, it’s like cardboard. The water always tastes like it’s gone flat. You’ll see, when you go back. They don’t see, none of them know, but you’ll know, you’ll see. Can’t go back to that, can’t go back.”

Ginnifer put a hand on Marl’s forehead, and was startled to find that she was burning up. She’d been running a slight fever an hour ago, and Ginnifer had given her a full dose of acetaminophen.

Oh, Marl
.

She pulled a fur over Marl and stood, following the tracks on the ground to find the men. They wouldn’t be stopping tonight. If Marl was going to make it, they’d need to make a straight run for Port Trent.

The trees were tall, thin, and sparsely arrayed. The grey tones of late afternoon blanketed the forest, making it appear even more lifeless and foreboding. She called out as she’d been instructed, keeping her voice low.

“Zane? Enzo?”

Shifter hearing was exceptional, and if she yelled, she might alert bears to their location. But the wolves could pick up a quiet call with relative ease, so long as they hadn’t gone too far.

She waited for a moment, but when she saw no sign of them, she pressed on. However long it felt as though they’d been gone, a glance at her watch told her it had been just over twenty minutes, and Zane was sometimes gone more than an hour when he was
securing the area
—whatever that meant. For Marl, every moment was precious.

Ginnifer tried not to stray too far from their trail, but the snow gave way to hard soil, and from there it was hard to tell which direction they’d gone. She went in a straight line, making note of anything that stood out and might serve as a marker for the path back. Confident that Zane would find her if she got lost, she was much more worried about Marl than herself.

Unless Zane’s eaten by a bear
, she thought, but without any real seriousness.
If a bear eats anyone, it’ll be you for wandering around by yourself in the woods at night.

“Ginnifer, stop.”

At the sound of Zane’s soft command, she froze mid-step. She cocked her head to the side to see him standing with Enzo. Enzo looked alarmed, and while Zane appeared calm, his lips were taut.

“Is it a bear?” she whispered, and she could feel her eyes nearly bulging out of her head.

Zane let out a breath and smiled. “No, but stay right where you are, don’t move, don’t even twitch.”

As he approached her, Ginnifer’s eyes darted around wildly, trying to figure out where the supposed threat was coming from. The forest was quiet and nothing stirred within her field of vision.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Stay rigid,” he said, as he put his hands on her waist. He lifted her up and held her against his chest, and then walked away several paces.

Zane lowered her to the ground, but he kept his arms around her in a tight embrace. Although she was still confused, she didn’t miss the opportunity to lean into his warmth. He loosened his grip only a little when Enzo came up beside them.

“You think poachers left that?” Enzo asked.

Ginnifer followed his gaze to the ground where she’d been standing and gave a sharp intake a breath. Almost entirely obscured by dirt, the jaw of a large steel trap laid spread out. She could see the faint imprint of her foot inside the ring. It was twice the size of the one that had caught Indigo, and she shuddered at the memory of the young woman’s mangled ankle.

“Possibly,” Zane said, as he rubbed the small of her back. “Or it could have been left by the loggers.”

“Loggers?” Ginnifer asked.

Enzo said, “Zane and I were scouting to the west of here, and it was crazy, the forest just ended. There was nothing but tree stumps for, I don’t know, it must have been fifty kilometers, and past that there were trucks and work trailers set up.”

“It could be that this is the reason we haven’t smelled any bears since we’ve here,” Zane said.

“Where do you suppose they all went?” Enzo asked. “Do you think they’ve gone west?”

Zane only shrugged, his attention back on Ginnifer. “What are you doing out here?”

He didn’t seem angry, only concerned, and for a few seconds Ginnifer was so enraptured by his gentle gaze that she forgot why she’d left the camp in the first place. Then her eyes widened and she turned to Enzo.

“It’s your mom, she’s running a bad fever.”

“Still? Didn’t you give her something for it?”

“I did, but it’s not helping. I don’t think we can stay here tonight.”

Zane nodded. “If we travel through the night, we can be in Port Trent by tomorrow evening. Are you up for that?”

He was asking Ginnifer, though she wasn’t sure why. She wasn’t the one who had to do the running.

“You bet. Let’s get going.”

She tried to pull away from him, but Zane picked her up and hoisted her over his shoulder.

“What are you doing?” she asked, lightly punching his back.

“Making sure you get out of this forest with both of your feet.”

She struggled against him all the way back to camp, but secretly enjoyed the feel of his hand gripping her thigh and his earthy scent filling her nose. She only hoped that he couldn’t smell just how much she was enjoying him.

“Do what you have to do. You can meet us back here when you’re done.” Zane spoke with obvious reluctance. He feigned interest in the magazine in his lap, but Ginnifer knew he was watching her through his sunglasses.

The alpha looked so out of place in the clinic waiting room, though it wasn’t for lack of trying. His black jeans looked uncomfortably tight, and he periodically pulled at the collar of his dark green sweater. He appeared comically large for the plastic chair he was in, and sitting beside him, Ginnifer realized how much bigger he was than her.

They had changed into human clothes an hour before reaching Port Trent, but it had done little to warm their reception. If anyone asked, they were supposed to say they’d traveled down from Nataq, but although they got a lot of stares from the locals, no one approached them, not even to ask if they could help Marl, who was crumpled in Enzo’s arms.

The doctor at the clinic knew Marl, and Ginnifer got the impression that she also knew where Marl lived and what Enzo and Zane were. She took Marl and Enzo into the exam room, where they’d been for an hour now.

“Why don’t you come with me?” Ginnifer asked. “We can find someplace to eat.”

The last time she remembered him eating was over two days ago, though he’d been quick to nag her if she left even a bite of her own meal uneaten. She knew that behind his sunglasses were tired eyes, and she also hoped she could coax him into resting somewhere after they ate.

“I need to be here,” he told her. “Enzo may need me.”

Ginnifer considered staying with him, but she remembered the diner they’d passed on the way, and the sign in the window that advertised blueberry cornmeal cobbler and bacon poutine. The smells coming from that place had made her groan.

“Okay, but I’m bringing you some food. I’ll be back in—” she glanced at her watch, “—an hour?”

Zane gave a slight nod. “Be safe.”

She felt his eyes on her as she left the reception area, and then walked out into the brisk evening.

They’d made excellent time, better than Zane had predicted, but it was still well after noon by the time they arrived on the outskirts of town. Port Trent reminded her of a tiny version of Iqaluit, the
city
—with a population of about seven thousand, she used that term loosely—that she and Boaz had spent the night in while waiting for the small craft that took them across the Northwestern Passages.

Most of the houses were squat and boxy, with only a few of the residences at higher elevation looking like they’d been renovated anytime in the past two decades. All of the streets were unpaved, with the exception of the main thoroughfare, along which were the tiny commercial area and a large brick mill with smoke curling from three large pipes.

The diner was only a short walk from the clinic, and when Ginnifer reached it, she peered into the dusty windows with dismay. Inside, the lights were out and the chairs were stacked on the tables.

She couldn’t find anywhere else that served food, and it seemed as though everything was closed, save for a dirty concrete building with blinking red letters over the doorway. It looked as though there may have been something else there at one time, but now it only said DRUGS.

Clutching her bag close, she pulled the door open. She let out a small sigh at the blast of warm air that hit her face. The inside was surprisingly clean, though it looked more like a gas station convenience store than a pharmacy. There were several rows of half-stocked shelves, holding everything from instant oatmeal to lighter fluid. In the back was an orange and white cooler with a handwritten sign that said “Milk bags + Soda” sitting beside a heavy-looking door.

When she stepped inside, the young man at the service counter looked up from his laptop. He couldn’t have been much older than Indigo, and like most of the others she’d seen in town, he looked to be of Inuit descent. He closed his laptop and leaned over it, eyeing Ginnifer speculatively.

“I’m sorry, did I fall asleep again?” he asked.

“Um, what?”

He flashed a smile. “I refuse to believe I’m not dreaming right now.”

Ginnifer snorted and rolled her eyes. “
Fresh
. Do you sell shaving cream and lotion here?”

“The lotion that smells like honey?” he asked, coming out from behind the counter.

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

He smiled again and shook his head. Ginnifer waited by the counter as he went to grab Indigo’s things, and then made a stop by the cooler. When he came back, he handed Ginnifer a cold soda, and placed everything else on the counter. He bent down to take something from the rack, and offered it to her.

“Wunderbar?”

Ginnifer took the candy bar from him. “Okay, now
I’m
the one that’s dreaming.”

Still grinning, he sauntered around to the other side of the counter. “Got cash, or should I put this on your tab?”

“My tab? You don’t even know me.”

“I know where you’re from,” he said.

Ginnifer opened the cola and leaned against the counter. “Do you, now?”

He popped a toothpick into his mouth. “Come on. Beautiful girls don’t just wander into this town. I know what you are.”

She considered telling him that she was a woman, not a girl, but decided it would only be bait for another pickup line. Not that she minded all that much. It felt like a fun reprieve from all of the drama of the past couple weeks.

“You think every pretty stranger is one of them?” she asked, taking a sip of the cola. She’d never been much of a soda drinker, but right now, it tasted like heaven.

He pushed the toothpick around in his mouth, his grin replaced by a thoughtful expression. “No, but they always are. It’s not only that though. It’s the way you smell.”

She crinkled her nose, and he sat up, hastily adding, “It’s not a bad smell. The opposite, actually.” He picked up the lotion bottle. “It’s the sort of scent these corporate tools are always trying to capture and market. You smell like you’ve been living under the stars.”

He blushed a little, and then made a show of looking for a bag for her things. While he wasn’t looking, she pinched her sweater and gave it a quick sniff. She felt a fluttering sensation in her belly as she picked up Zane’s familiar scent.

She paid him with her own money, and then pushed him the change. “Would you mind if I used your Wi-Fi?”

Ginnifer had checked her cellphone for reception when they’d arrived, but like everywhere else she’d been, Port Trent was a dead zone for her cellular service.

Jack—she finally noticed the name on the plate pinned to his sweater—tapped his laptop. “DSL’s all I got here. I only know one place in town that has Wi-Fi and they guard that password like it’s the national secret.”

Smiling, she asked, “Any chance you have Skype on there?”

He whirled his laptop around and gave a short bow. “It’s all yours. My headphones are busted, so make sure you talk close to the mic, the built-in one is garbage.”

Ginnifer thanked him, and then waited for him to busy himself with dusting until she opened the laptop. She logged out of Jack’s Skype account, and then spent the next five minutes trying to remember her password. Up until the past few months, she and Aaron had chatted on Skype almost every night, but the program was always open on her computer, which she rarely shut down.

A flicker of unreality passed over her as she saw the bubble with Aaron’s face on it. She’d been so immersed in Siluit that it sometimes felt as though she’d always been there, and everything that had come before the pack had been part of another lifetime.

Aaron’s profile was marked “Away” but she called him anyway. She let it ring for a moment, and then hung up, feeling guilty about the twinge of relief.

She looked over her shoulder to see that Jack had disappeared. Light came from beneath the door to the back room, and she was surprised that he trusted her not to steal the poorly secured cash box.

Pulling up the web browser, Ginnifer tabbed out of a Google search for “big breast Jamaica” and logged into her email account. Her inbox was flooded with over a hundred emails, mostly from her agent and her mom, with a couple from Aaron and her sister. She scrolled down to the oldest one, which was from her intern Rita.

I forgot all about Rita, too
, she thought with no small amount of shame.

Almost three months ago, Rita had set out with Ginnifer and Boaz, only to get frostbite in the first week. She’d had to be taken to town and then flown to the nearest hospital, and Ginnifer hadn’t had the opportunity to follow up with her since.

Rita’s email said that was okay, offered a lot of apologies, and asked if she could be comped for her flight to Fort Lauderdale. Ginnifer typed up a quick response, giving Rita her sister Astrid’s number. Astrid still had the spare key to her apartment, from when she dog sat for Ginnifer’s husky Noona the year before. She also used it to secretly clean Ginnifer’s apartment, and she probably knew where Ginnifer’s checkbook was better than Ginnifer did.

After that, she sent a head’s up email to Astrid, prefacing it with an apology for not responding to the five other emails she’d sent—mostly cute pictures of Noona and rants about her boss. Jack came back in while she typed, but didn’t complain that she’d gone rogue on his laptop.

Before she could begin tackling the emails from her mom, she received an incoming call on Skype. The icon with Aaron’s face seemed to cover the screen. Her finger hovered over the touchpad for a few seconds, but finally she accepted the call.

And suddenly, there he was.

His golden tan was deeper than usual, and he’d shaved his brassy blonde hair almost to its roots. Ocean blue eyes regarded her with excitement as a big smile stretched over his face.

“Hey, Ginny.”

“Hey, yourself.”

A heavy weight fell over her, and for an instant, she thought he would know everything just from looking at her, as though her indiscretions were etched all over her face.

“How is it up there? Have you seen any—” he made his hands into mock claws “—werewolves, yet?”

Ginnifer laughed weakly. “It’s going well, very well, actually. We’ve gotten a lot of great footage. Where are you right now?”

The room behind him looked modern and well furnished, nothing like where he’d called her from the week he’d arrived in Syria.

“Didn’t you get my email? I’m in Edinburgh.”

“No, this is the first chance I’ve had to get online. Did you say Edinburgh? As in, Scotland?”

“Oh, ay,” he said in an exaggerated brogue.

Ginnifer chuckled, her mood lightening a bit. “What are you doing in Scotland? Wait, let me guess, they’ve seceded from the United Kingdom and you’re off to be a medic in the local laird’s army?”

“Close,” he said. “Do you remember when I told you I was taking those online courses?”

“Yes,” Ginnifer said slowly.

“Well, I wanted it to be a surprise, but I got accepted into medical school!”

She stared at him blankly, waiting for the words to click and form something that made sense.

“Medical school?” she repeated. “In Scotland?”

Aaron was still smiling, but whatever he saw on her face seemed to make him anxious. “Yeah. Do you remember how I told you if I were going to go to medical school, it would be in Scotland, that way we don’t—”

“I remember you mentioning these things in passing,” she said, exhaling in exasperation. “What I don’t remember is us having a discussion about them. This is a huge deal. You’re going to be in Scotland for—how many years?”

“It depends, but Ginny, I thought you’d be happy about this. You’ve wanted us to get a home for years now. This will mean I won’t be traveling anymore. I know you may not want to settle down in Edinburgh, but we can at least get an apartment together.”

“I live in Miami. My home is there, my family is there. How could you make this decision without asking me?”

“You were gone, and there was a deadline.”

“I’ve been gone for three months, barely. Are you telling me you got into medical school in three months, without any premeditation?”

Aaron looked away from the camera and hung his head. Ginnifer took a deep breath, and then considered her own position. It didn’t feel right to guilt him when she was more or less cheating on him. And the more she thought about the past few weeks, and about Zane, the calmer she became.

“Aaron, I think we should break up.”

As soon as she said it, Ginnifer realized that it was what she’d wanted to do the entire time. There was no ambivalence, only a sense of peace.

Aaron shook his head violently. “Stop being dramatic. We can talk about this.”

“It’s not just medical school,” she said, her voice softening. “I think we both jumped into this relationship wanting different things, and it’s better if we end it now, before we complicate it with marriage and children.”

“Is this about the wedding? We can get married sooner if you want.”

“I don’t want to marry you, I—”

His face hardened. “Is it someone else? Is it Boaz?”

“No, it’s not Boaz,” she said, giving him a wan smile. “But I did meet someone. I’m not leaving you for him, but he—”