Captivate Me (20 page)

“Shaina?” I call, and she steps out from the bathroom, a terrified look on her face.

She runs in a full-out sprint toward me and wraps herself around me so tight I can barely breathe. I wrap my arms around her, too. This must have scared the living shit out of her. Even though she’s been taking her medicine, I still see the anxiety ride her, at least now that I’m watching for it.

“It’s okay,” I tell her as I stroke her hair.

It took me a bit longer to get back to the clubhouse. Not only did we have to take care of those three assholes, but I also needed to help with the sweep of the compound. We found nothing but added some of the Clayton’s charter to the security detail.

I also had to check with Buzz, who didn’t find anything out of the ordinary. Everything is in place, and nothing seems to be wrong. But I agree with him; something isn’t right.

I kiss the top of Shaina’s head and inhale the smell of her hair. Never in my life have I enjoyed holding a woman, and Shaina fits perfectly against me. Never in my life have I wanted more with someone. Never in my life have I thought I deserve more. Hell, I still don’t think I do, but I don’t want to let her go, either.

I sure as shit can’t fix her, but whenever I’m around her, the instinct to protect her and keep her as mine is overpowering. It’s something foreign, unreal, and I can’t stop it.

She pulls away and looks up at me. She’s so damn little against me.

“I thought you were hurt,” she whispers, her eyes glistening.

“I’m okay.”

Her eyes work hard. When she grabs the side of my face, stands on her tiptoes, pulls my head down, and presses her lips to mine, shock and then lust hit me straight in the gut. I only ever had women by myself when I was in the service, and that was out of necessity. Once I got out, Buzz was always with me. The fear of going too far, hurting the person I am with or losing my shit during sex always rides me hard.

My heart thumps with those same feelings, but as Shaina’s tongue enters my mouth, every thought of having my brother in this room, seeing what we are sharing in this moment, flies out the window. No one sees this but us.

Her lips are so soft, and I can feel them trembling. This has to be hard on her. I’m pretty positive she hasn’t had anyone since her kidnapping. That weight lies heavy on my shoulders.

I don’t know if I can fully do this. I also don’t know what to do if she can’t. As much as I want this, I may not be able to have it.

She lowers her feet. taking her lips away from mine.

When I open my eyes, I see the pain etched all over hers, and it rips at my heart.

“I need you,” she says softly. “I thought I lost you.” She shakes her head as a tear falls from the corner of her eye. I wipe it away with the pad of my thumb.

“I’m here, but I don’t know if I can.”

Hurt slices across her features, and I want to kick my own ass.

I hold on to her tight as she tries to step away.

“Not you, Shaina. Totally me.” I shake my head, not believing the words I want to force out of my mouth. “I want to try … with you.” Her face lights up, but I have to warn her, “I don’t know if I can follow through. And what if you can’t?”

“I’m safe with you. I trust you, and you can trust me.”

“We have to go slow, Shaina,” I tell her, and she nods her head.

Her need is the same as mine. Having her in my arms every night, feeling that connection with something real, I get it. I really get it, and I want it.

“Slow is good.”

She steps out of my grasp and lifts the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head. The confidence I once saw in her when she first came to the clubhouse, throwing her shitty attitude, comes back for a moment and then vanishes.

Her arms move up to shield herself, like she can’t believe she just did that.

I step closer, brushing my fingertips over her shoulders.

“Beautiful,” I whisper, and she is.

Her plump breasts practically fall out of her bra, and her skin feels so soft my lips itch to kiss it. My lips have never itched to kiss anything before.

I bend down and take her mouth, and she threads her hands through my hair, holding on for dear life. My cock hardens as thoughts enter my brain.
Him touching me.

I pull away from her lips and suck in breaths. She looks at me with concern, but instead of showing her my downfall, I walk her slowly to the bed, a bed that we have slept many nights on but never went to this level.

I push the bad thoughts out of my head, laying her down and following, keeping my weight on my knees and arms. Burying my face in her neck, I start there, letting my lips kiss her softness, trailing from her shoulder to her collarbone.

She shivers under my touch while one hand goes back to my hair and the other to my back. I feel the urge to be skin to skin, so I lift up and pull my shirt off before coming back down on her.

She squirms as her chest rises up and down heavily. I reach under her bra and cup her breast, pulling the fabric away from it. Her nipples are a dusty rose.

I look up at her to make sure what I’m doing is okay. Her lips are parted, and she pushes my head down.

Taking that as the go sign, I pull her nipple between my lips and suck hard. She arches her back and moans so gutturally that my hard-on presses against my jeans painfully. I knead the other and then move back and forth between the tasty treats until she can barely breathe.

“Breaker,” she gasps, and I look up. Her eyes are filled with need and want, but it’s hearing my name on her lips in that tone that strikes me right in the chest.

“Takin’ off your pants,” I warn her before I unbutton and pull the fabric down. She helps by lifting her hips.

Her dark purple panties are soaked with the evidence of her arousal, making me want to lick it up. I start at her foot and kiss all the way up so damn slowly. With each brush of my lips, Shaina squirms more and shifts her hips, begging me to be at her pussy.

As I reach the V of her thighs, I look up and check on her. Shaina’s eyes are closed, not in a pinch like any of this is hurting her, but in ecstasy. Inside, my heart thumps. I want to be the one to give this to her.

Over the fabric, I place my mouth on her pussy and lick the satin. She jolts, looks down at me, and then moans. Her hips begin to move in tune with my strokes, and my first thought is to hold her legs down, but I think twice about it. Holding her down wouldn’t be a turn on for her. If anything, it would make this entire moment disappear.

I inhale her, letting her scent brand my mind. She grips the sheets beside her thighs as she screams out, and her entire body shakes. Her head goes back, and she arches so sexy. That didn’t take much work to get her off. I just made it my goal to have her do that as many times as I possibly can.

I pull at the sides of her underwear, kissing the other leg as I move down. Her body moves hard from her pants, but she doesn’t fight me or try to stop me in any way.

I toss them off, looking at her glistening wet pussy then at her face. Her eyes connect with mine, and the desire there, the desire for me, is more than I ever thought I would have in this life.

I move up to her core and take my first real lick of her pussy. The taste of her explodes on my tongue. I nibble and tease her folds then reach under her bent legs to grab her hands. I give her a squeeze right before I suck her clit hard, and she explodes again with a scream. Her juices cover my lips, and I drink them down.

By the time she falls back, my cock aches to the point of physical pain. I need to be inside this woman. I need to feel the same way she just did. I need her.

I rise from the bed, and she turns and watches me. I unbuckle then push my pants and underwear down my legs, and she takes in a sharp breath.

“I need to be inside you, Shaina. Is that alright?” Inside, my heart constricts. If she says no, I may shatter.

“Yes,” she responds, and the breath I was holding is released.

I grab a box of condoms out of my drawer and rip it open before pulling one out. I think briefly about looking at the expiration date, but just rip open the packet and place the rubber on my dick.

My cock aches with each touch of my hand. I need to calm my shit. I refuse to come before she does. I squeeze the base, relieving some of the pressure, but not much. Then I climb onto the bed and on top of Shaina.

“Are you okay?”

She heaves in a breath and exhales with, “Yes, I want you.”

I line my cock up at her entrance and push in. She’s tight, very tight, and it takes superhuman strength to push in slowly as I watch her face for any pain or discomfort. The nice thing is, I’m so set on making sure this is good for her that all my shit vanishes from my mind for the first time in my life. We are messed up, but together, we are magic.

I lean down and kiss her while moving my hips. Each time, I get a little bit farther inside.

“Oh, God,” she moans, her nails biting into my flesh. “Please,” she begs, and I can’t control it.

I let loose, thrusting while kissing her with everything I have inside of me. Everything that’s been dormant for years. Everything I have never felt before. Everything that she doesn’t even know she has given me.

As she rips her lips from mine, her pussy clamps hard around my cock, inhibiting my thrusts, so I use more power. The tightness in my balls draws pain as I bury my face in her neck and come … and come … and come. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever been a part of.

The woman has me twisted, and I don’t want it any other way.

His weight presses into me, and I can’t breathe. I try not to freak out, but the anxiety still rolls through me like a wave. The moment of passion comes to a halt, and my brain clicks in, not liking this. It’s not as bad since I’m taking my meds, but it’s there.

I tap Breaker on the shoulder, and his head pops up. “I need you to roll off.”

He does so instantly, his eyes boring into mine like he’s doing that reading me thing again. At least, if he’s reading it, then I don’t have to say it.

“Are you okay?” he asks softly. He lies beside me with his head on his arm, his hand resting softly on my waist.

The anxiety boulder rolls off my lungs, and I can breathe. “Yes,” I answer honestly.

He reaches over and kisses me on the temple. “Good.”

“What about you?” I hate to ask this. Breaker has never told me about what happened to him. I can only make guesses. Each guess I make is worse than the others, so I gave up trying to think about it.

He reaches over, grabs my hand, and holds it on my waist. “You’re the first woman I’ve slept with on my own since the military,” he confides, and my heart clenches. “You gave that to me.” He squeezes my hand. “Doesn’t get any better.”

I lean over and kiss his lips. “We’re both kinda messed up here,” I try to joke, but it falls flat.

“Babe, two fucked up people makin’ it right. Together, we’re better.”

My heart swells as I roll closer to him and put my head on his chest.

“Yeah, better.”

Bang, bang!
comes from the door, and I jump from the bed, pulling my bra over my tits and reaching for my pants as Breaker rolls from the bed.