Captivate Me (16 page)

“They?” I ask stupidly. “Ma didn’t say what was going on, Breaker. Who
are
they?”

“We have some trouble, and it’s in your best interest to stay here where you’re safe.”

That nervous roll makes me want to heave again, but I choke it back.
They
could be anyone, anywhere.
They
could find me. I would rather take my own life than ever go back to that again. I won’t.

“I can’t stay here. This isn’t the place for me.” I hate that it isn’t. I hate that I can’t have Breaker’s arms around me. I hate everything about this.

“If I have to cuff you to the fucking bed, you’re not leaving here,” Breaker says, shocking the shit out of me. And from the gasp of Casey and the slightly widened eyes of GT, this isn’t a normal thing for Breaker. He means it. He’s really serious about this. I don’t know how to process that at the moment, so I go with what I know.

“Breaker, I’m not wanted here. Everyone here is going to feel the same as GT.” I fight the urge to look at the man. “I can’t.” Even if I fear
them.

“Yes, you can, and you will,” he demands, moving over to a drawer, opening it, and pulling out a pair of silver cuffs, dangling them from his finger.

First, I want to ask why he has handcuffs. Second, I want to tell him that he has lost his mind.

“You decide. Willingly stay or cuffs?”

I look back and forth between Breaker and the cuffs, suddenly feeling like a fish out of water, unable to find my way.

He opens the cuffs, and the distinct click fills the room.

Fear paralyzes me. I can’t be restrained. I can’t.

“You can’t cuff me,” I tell him quietly, putting my hands behind my back so he can’t get to them.

“So, you’re stayin’?”

I nod.

“Words, Shaina. And no fuckin’ runnin’ off like last time, because this time, your ass isn’t getting far.”

His words tumble around in my head.
Does he mean that he’ll come after me and find me?

I look into his determined blue eyes and follow my gut. “I’ll stay.”

Nervous butterflies flit around in my stomach as I juggle the two pops and bag of sandwiches and chips. I suck in a deep breath, put my big girl panties on, and knock on the door.

“Yeah?” Buzz calls out.

“It’s me.” Damn, I sound so stupid. Why couldn’t I sound cool like Julia Roberts in the movies? Cool and calm when doing things.

The door handle twists, and it flies open. Buzz stands on the other side with a shocked look on his face.

“Surprise?” I try to keep the question out of it, but fail miserably, so I carry on. “I know you’re doing club stuff, but I thought I could feed ya and maybe we could hang out… even if it’s for just a few minutes while you eat.” Smack me in my damn head! I sound like a complete and utter tool. “I…” I stammer to his amusement.

“Thanks, babe.” He grips my arm and pulls me gently into the room.

With my hands full and trying not to drop anything, I go where he leads me. The room is stark, with gray walls and florescent lights. A huge bank of computer screens line one wall, and in front of them is a desk with two chairs. I feel like I entered the
bat cave
or something.

Buzz brings his hands to my cheeks and pulls me to him, landing a hard kiss on my lips. I have to remind myself that I have things in my hands and not to drop them. The more he kisses me, the more I want to say screw it and let it all fall to the ground.

When he releases me, I gasp for breath. Then Buzz takes the food and drinks from me and sets them on a side table.

“Wow,” I say to myself.

“Yeah, baby. Wow isn’t the half of it. Come here.”

I go, and he shows me exactly what it means to get the ever-loving-shit kissed out of me. His lips devour mine, and I try to keep up, but with Buzz, it’s always him leading.

I melt into him. He kisses me deeper.

When he pulls away, my knees wobble. I have a hard time keeping upright, even gripping his shirt.

“That’s a hell of a thank you,” I say between gasps.

“Bella, that’s nothin’.” He motions to the empty seat, and I take it.

I notice all the screens are blacked out, which is good. It was the one thing I worried about when I put this plan in motion. Buzz is already in trouble for me; I don’t need to cause him anymore. And I didn’t want to know.

I can’t help the nerves coming back. We haven’t really been together in a few days. Yes, we spend our nights together, but he’s been so busy I rarely see him. Not to mention, I don’t have a clue what I am doing with this talking and hanging. This idea is a leap for me.

I reach for the bag and pull out the two sandwiches and chips, placing them in front of him.

“Thanks,” he says with a smile that warms me from the inside out, helping to settle some of those nerves.

“So, this is your hiding place,” I joke, feeling the need to break the tension. Not the tension in the room; that’s not there. It’s the tension within myself.

“Yep,” is all he says, so I try something else as I open my sandwich.

“You getting whatever it is done?” Damn, it sounds as if I want him to tell me what he is doing and that’s not it at all. “No,” I say before he can start. “That’s not what I …” I leave the half-opened sandwich on the table and look up at Buzz. “I’m no good at this stuff, Buzz. You say I’m yours and you’re mine; I get that. I like that, but I don’t know how to do it. In the past—”

“Stop,” he orders harshly, and I jolt. “Don’t wanna hear about your past, Bella. Can’t stand the thought of someone touching you. I hear it, I’ll wanna kill ’em. Best to keep that to yourself.”

“You’re not getting what I’m saying.” Frustration leaks out of me.

“Bella, I don’t know the first thing about this shit, either. The thing is … We don’t change just because I’ve claimed you. We still talk; we still hang out and do that movie thing you like when I can. Right now, shit’s hard because I’m busy. Stick by me, and we’ll get through it.”

“And once it’s done?”

He lets out a breath. “Then we finally breathe easy.”

“I’d like that.”

“Me, too, babe. More than you know. We’ll figure all that out in time. Right now, we live day by day, minute by minute. You brought me dinner and that sweet body of yours. Can’t ask for more, Bella.”

Warmth spreads through me like ivy, and I cling to it. “Right.”

Buzz digs into his sandwich, taking a bite that encompasses a fourth of it. I may have to give him mine.

“What’s goin’ on with school?” he asks after swallowing.

“It’s good. I took my last final online and passed. But it was open notes; those don’t really count.” I shrug.

“The fuck they don’t. You be happy you did that shit, Bella. That’s an accomplishment.”

Damn warmth again.

“Thanks.”

“Welcome. What else?”

“I’m off for a while. I’ve been piling on classes and only have four left until my business degree.”

“What’re ya gonna do with that?” he asks, inhaling another fourth of his sandwich.

“I have no idea. Now that I’ve had all the classes, I really don’t want to sit in an office all day. I’m good at strategizing and stuff. I thought about maybe trying marketing or planning or something. My dad wanted me to go to school and get my degree. Had it not been for him and leaving that shit in his will, I don’t know if I would have stuck it out.”

“Will?”

“Yeah, in there, he stated that I must finish college.” Buzz raises a brow. “I know, it’s not admissible in court like that, but he wanted it. I want to give it to him, even if he’ll never see it. I’ll still know that I did what would make him proud, and he left me the money for it, so I can’t complain. Now what I’m going to do with the rest of my life, I have no clue.”

“We’ll figure that shit out.”

It feels nice to have someone here and on my side to bounce ideas off of and just talk. I love that it’s Buzz sitting across from me. This right here is the best gift in the world, but it also scares the hell out of me.

I never let the others in. Ever. Yes, they had my body, and I took pleasure from it, but I didn’t have this with any other man. Talking. Hanging out. None of the previous got that from me.

I’m not sure what to do with that now. I guess I’ll do what I always do and just roll with it. I’m obviously not going anywhere for a while.

My heart thunders at the thought of being with Buzz here for the long-term.

Damn, my thoughts are so jumbled I’m confusing my damn self.

“Princess tells me that this Shaina woman caused a lot of shit to go down.” I take a bite of my sandwich, which is so different from his bite.

Buzz proceeds to tell me about Shaina, leaving out some big chunks of the story but giving me enough to understand the situation.

“And Breaker is with her now? At least, that’s what Angel told me. Breaker hasn’t been around much since she came, so I’m assuming that’s true.”

Buzz shakes his head. “I’m not sure what the fuck is goin’ on with that shit. He hasn’t been down here since she got here, and I haven’t had time to hunt his ass down. What I do know is if it’s somethin’ real, that’s good for him.”

“You worry about him.” Thankfully, it comes out more as a statement than a question because this is a fact. I have seen it throughout my time with him.

“Shit, yeah, I do. If Shaina can pull him out of his ass, then more power to her. I know Angel isn’t pissed at her, and if anyone, that’s the person who should be. So it is what it is. Just gotta see how the hell it plays out.”

We finish eating with chatter between us, smiles glanced across the table, and I feel damn happy.

Thump, thump, thump,
comes from the door, and it swings open to reveal Tug standing there, his face a mask.

“Church,” he says to Buzz. “Hey, Bella.” He waves then takes off.

“Gotta run, Bella.”

I nod, picking up the discarded wrappers and shoving them all in the bag. Buzz leads me out the door, kisses me hard, and he’s off. I’m left feeling happy, sad, and disappointed all wrapped in one.

“Come here,” Angel calls from the clubhouse.

I just came up to get something to eat. It’s been another one of those days, one I spent hanging out and not seeing Buzz much. While the girls are fun as hell to hang out with, I’m a loner for the most part. All that action makes me need a huge break.

I go to Angel, and she leads me down the hall to Breaker’s room and opens the door. Princess, Tanner, Blaze, and Shaina’s eyes all turn to me.

“Hey …” I say stupidly, waving my hand.

“I’m trying to get Shaina introduced to everyone, but since she won’t come out of this room, I’m bringing you guys to her,” Angel announces. “Shaina, this is Bella. Bella, Shaina.”

I give another wave. “Nice to meet ya.” I then give a wave to the other women in the room.

Shaina sits in a chair by the bed, her hands clasped together, holding them tight. Even sitting in the chair, I can tell she’s super tiny, like her feet barely touch the floor. Her long hair has a beautiful shine to it, and her face is gorgeous. But it’s her eyes that capture me. They aren’t cold necessarily, more like vacant or lost.

After hearing partially what happened to her, I feel for the woman.