Calling All the Shots (13 page)

Conner’s den was decorated in dark wood paneling and had a huge
desk. It reminded Jack of his high school coach’s den back in Texas. But then
Coach Steel had been a fairly wealthy man and that had been saying something
back when Jack was in Frisco.

“Nice place,” Jack said.

“Thanks. I’m used to a certain level of comfort and privacy
when I’m working from home,” Conner said. “Being married is forcing me to change
that.”

“How are you finding marriage?” Jack asked. “I’m curious
because you were the most confirmed bachelor I’ve ever met.”

“Indeed I was. But my life is so much richer with Nichole.
There are times when I want to run away and close the door and go back to my old
habits but then Nichole will do something that makes me realize that I was
simply hiding away before.”

Jack wondered what that was and if Willow would be able to do
the same for him but Nichole and Willow were very different. Just because
Nichole could make Conner happy didn’t mean Willow could do the same for
him.

“How are things working out with you and Willow?” Conner asked.
“You seem pretty happy with each other today.”

“We are. It’s hard for us because we are both workaholics who
are determined to be in charge of every aspect of our lives but I think we are
working it out,” Jack said.

And he believed that. No matter how hard it was to get
comfortable with this new arrangement he couldn’t forget the reassurance he’d
gotten from Willow’s hand on his leg during dinner. It seemed to imply that they
were a team. That they would both face these things together. And that was so
tempting.

He realized that he’d wanted someone to share his life with,
but had been afraid to risk caring enough for someone to let them in. Willow had
snuck into his heart when he hadn’t been looking and he felt like…well that she
could be his partner on the journey and he was even willing to put aside his
fear that she wouldn’t always be by his side.

He nodded as he came to a decision—perhaps one he should have
made in the car before he got here. “Yes, Willow and I are getting along very
well.”

“I’m happy for you. When Nic told me about the bet that she and
Willow made I thought it was stupid. You can’t bet on your friends’ happiness,
but Nic said that if she hadn’t, Willow would never have gone out with you.”

What?
he thought. What the hell was
Conner talking about? Jack used all his professional skills to keep that
confusion from showing on his face.

“What were the terms of the bet?” Jack asked. “I never heard
them.”

“Well, Nic has won a day at the Red Door Salon thanks to you,
man. You made Willow fall for you,” Conner said.

Jack was enraged inside and he thought if he stayed here
another second he was going to get all Hulk on not only Conner but also Willow.
“Did you say you had that real estate information?”

“Oh, yes. Here’s our Realtor’s number. Mother also knows the
owner of the place two houses down from us. She hasn’t put it on the market yet
but it’s going up for sale soon. I think you can get a good price if you call
her this weekend.”

“Thanks, Conner,” Jack said, taking the business card from the
other man. Then he paused. He had one more question. “How does Nic know she’s
won? I mean Willow and I are still sorting things out.”

“She knows because Willow didn’t break your heart and walk out
the door as she’d been planning to do from the beginning.”

“Lucky me,” Jack said. Knowing that Willow had just done it
anyway. He tried to be rational and remind himself that he’d hurt her in the
past. Maybe she would have mentioned the bet at some point in time if they’d
talked about it. But he doubted it. He also wasn’t entirely sure that Nichole
had won. Who was to say that Willow hadn’t hesitated to tell him how she felt
because she wanted to make sure he was well and truly hooked?

She was someone who could wait as long as she needed to get
revenge. She’d told him so. He stuffed the card into his pocket and walked out
of the den to find that Gail and Russell had their coats on and were getting
ready to leave.

As far as Jack was concerned that meant they could all go. He
glanced over at Willow and signaled for her to get her coat. She arched one
eyebrow at him and gave him a good hard glare but he was in no mood to deal with
it so he shrugged.

“I’ve got to head out, too,” he said to Nichole. “Thank you
both for your hospitality. Willow, are you coming with me?”

“Of course I am. Sorry for having to eat and run,” Willow said.
“But Jack has to get back to work on the West Coast on Sunday so we are cramming
a lot in this weekend.”

“It’s okay, I get it. He probably wants to be alone with you,”
Nichole said.

Jack grinned over at both women. “I certainly do.”

Thirteen

“W
hat the hell was that all about?” Willow
asked as soon as they were in the car.

“I’d rather wait until we are at my apartment to talk,” he said
and turned away from her as the driver made quick time through the city to
Jack’s place.

He tipped the driver and thanked him for working on the
holiday. They got out of the car and he held open the outer door to the building
for her. It was cold and gray outside like the coldness that had settled inside
Willow.

She could tell Jack was on edge as soon as they walked into his
apartment. She had the feeling that dinner today hadn’t made him see that they
were meant to spend a life together.

“You seemed in a hurry to get out of there,” she said, trying
to egg him on a little so she’d know what was going on. “Did Conner say anything
rude to you?”

“Nope. Sorry if you felt rushed. You could have stayed.”

He was definitely in a mood. “But it was all couples.”

“And Ruthann. I’m sure she would have been good company,” Jack
said.

“Did you talk to her about a house in the Hamptons?”

“Among other things” he said.

“Okay, are we done?” she asked. She had to know what he was
saying. What exactly was going on? She’d had such a great time at dinner and had
felt like she’d finally found the one man she wanted by her side.

“We were never started, were we?” he asked. “I mean I was some
kind of unresolved thing from your past and you were just a woman who was a
challenge.”

She shook her head. “I know it was more than that to you. What
happened to scare you today?”

“Nothing. I just remembered that what we saw today isn’t our
lives, Willow. You and me, we don’t do big family gatherings. You and I are
loners.”

“I kind of liked it. I thought we were becoming more than
loners.”

He shook his head. “No, we aren’t. We’d both have to stop
trying to protect ourselves and let the other one in. And to be honest I’m not
the kind of man who can go out on a limb by myself.”

“Give me a chance, Jack. I can join you out on that limb. But I
have to know—”

“You want guarantees and there aren’t any. Look at our friends
tonight…tomorrow something could happen to any one of them. Look at PJ and Rhia,
she’s lucky to still have him but he’s not the same man she fell in love with.
That might be enough to drive them apart.”

“We aren’t them. We don’t take dangerous risks with our
lives—well, I don’t take risks. You do and I think you like it,” Willow said,
realizing that she wished she hadn’t been so cowardly earlier. If she’d told him
how she felt maybe he wouldn’t have felt pushed to this point.

“No, you don’t take risks, and even knowing that we were both
afraid to admit we cared. I can’t think of two people less likely to actually
make a go at a life together than you and me. I know you said it before and I’m
just agreeing with you. You are right, Willow.”

But she didn’t think she was. Not anymore. Why did he have to
agree with her now, when she’d changed her mind? She stared at him and she knew
if she confessed her feelings he’d maybe have a change of heart.

He looked fierce, though, as he stood across from her there in
his loft apartment. She glanced around it remembering the first time she’d come
here for dinner. Remembering all that had gone between them. She had thought
that maybe he’d be the one to save her but then she was projecting her own
desires onto him again. Like she had in high school.

“Fine. You’re right. This was a mistake. I don’t know what I
was thinking.”

“Maybe you were thinking that you could win the bet with
Nichole,” he said.

“How’d you hear about that?” she asked.

“Conner mentioned it. Thought I’d know what had motivated you
to come to dinner with me.”

Oh, God, this wasn’t good. “What’d you say?”

“Just laughed it off. But I was thinking that it said a lot
about the person you are, Willow. I keep thinking you just are afraid to tell me
you care about me, but what if it’s more than that? What if it’s that you just
want to win a bet with your friend and make me hurt the way I hurt you.”

Willow wrapped her arms around her own waist and stared at him.
What could she say? “That changed.”

“When did it change? Because on our way to Conner and Nichole’s
it hadn’t. And I’m pretty sure it didn’t change on the way back,” he said. “In
fact I’m having a hard time believing that you don’t want revenge on me. That
you haven’t been stringing me along just to drive the knife in a little deeper
when the time was right.”

“I haven’t been. Since that night we walked along Fifth…I
haven’t thought about the past. I’ve let go of it,” she said.

“Not good enough. I know you by now, Willow, and you haven’t
let go of anything. You’ve been analyzing the past and trying to figure out
exactly what is best for you. And you know what? I get it. I’ve been doing the
same.”

“You have?”

“Yes. The only difference is I’ve been trying to convince
myself to take a chance on love and take a chance on you. Only now I’m so glad I
didn’t.”

“You are?” she asked, wishing she could come up with something
else to say but she’d had no idea that this was what she’d feel like when her
heart broke.

“Yes I am. I knew that I wasn’t meant to share my life with
another person. My experiences have all confirmed for me that life is better
when you only have yourself to depend on. So thanks for reminding me once again
that I’m meant to be alone.”

“Jack, I didn’t. I never meant—”

“I think we’re done here. Would you like me to call you a cab?”
he asked.

She shook her head. She could find her own way home. She looked
at his face, stared at him for a good long time so she’d never forget this
moment or what her own burning need for vengeance had reaped for her. Then she
turned and walked to the door.

“I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to ease the ache I
had inside me for so long,” she said, and then she opened the door and walked
out without looking back.

* * *

Willow left Jack’s apartment in a total daze. She hailed
a cab but couldn’t remember her address at first before finally getting it out.
She’d known deep in her heart that taking a bet to get involved with someone was
a sure fire way to doom but…

But what?

She got to her house, walked in the door, locked it behind her
and leaned back against it as she sank to the floor. She pulled her knees up,
rested her forehead on them and started crying. She’d been thinking for so long
that she’d known what heartbreak was. That her sixteen-year-old self had learned
all that she needed to know on the subject but Jack Crown had just shown her how
wrong she had been.

At sixteen, she’d thought she understood what a broken heart
had felt like, but today she realized she hadn’t. She hadn’t really known Jack
the way she did now. She had started to put her high school puppy love for Jack
in perspective when her mom died the following year, but for some reason she’d
never put the two together.

And she’d never known that losing Jack would make her ache like
this inside. She had known when she’d started down the path of vengeance that it
wasn’t going to end well for Jack, but she’d never counted the cost to herself.
Now she knew better. She should have realized that Jack was the one man in the
world who could sneak past her guard. There were a million tiny details she
could have changed that would have given her what she now knew she
wanted—Jack.

But she had been afraid to take a chance on him—and on herself.
She was beginning to believe that Jack hadn’t been the one to keep her from
letting deep relationships form, she had.

She’d always been afraid to let anyone close in case they hurt
her. The one time she took a chance, she’d done it in the one way that
guaranteed she’d be hurt again. Was she some sort of emotional masochist? Did
she just like being miserable?

She shook her head. Her iPhone started vibrating in her pocket
and she fumbled in her coat to get it out. Maybe it was Jack.
Oh, please let it be Jack.
He could have changed his
mind and decided—

It was Nichole.

She wiped the tears from her eyes, wishing she could wipe away
her disappointment as easily. But she couldn’t.

“It’s Willow.”

“Hey, are you alone?”

“Why yes, I am,” she said.

“Good. I just found out that Conner mentioned our bet to Jack.
I don’t know if you’d told him or not but I didn’t want you to be blindsided,”
Nic said.

She shook her head and rested it against the door. “Too
late.”

“Oh, no. I already told him that he was an idiot and that he
should never have said anything.”

“Conner isn’t to blame, Nic. I am. I should never have wagered
on love. When does that ever end well?”

“Then it’s my fault as I’m the one who suggested it,” Nichole
said. She sounded upset.

“I wouldn’t have gone out with him if you hadn’t. I was on the
verge of backing out and you knew it.”

“But even if I hadn’t done it maybe you eventually would have
given him a chance anyway. I don’t think he was going to stop asking.”

“I never would have,” Willow said. “I have spent my entire life
hiding from any chance of a deep bond with a man, and Jack has always scared
me.”

“Dammit. What can we do?”

“Nothing,” Willow said. “I messed this up and Jack isn’t in any
mood to forgive me.”

“You’re just giving up?” Nichole asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what else to do.”

“Hold the line. We need Gail.”

“We don’t need—”

“Willow, you need your friends. And Gail and I have both been
in your shoes. We know how it feels to lose the man you love.”

“I didn’t say I love him,” Willow said, still clinging to the
misconception that if she didn’t admit it this wouldn’t hurt as bad.

“That’s BS and you know it. One second,” Nichole said.

If even her friends knew she loved Jack why hadn’t he been able
to see it and just take the decision out of her hands? She wanted him to force
her to admit her feelings…but why?

“Willow, honey, are you okay?” Gail asked as she came on the
line.

“No,” Willow admitted. “I ache with such sadness. I had no idea
this was what heartbreak feels like. How could I have mistaken what I felt at
sixteen for this?”

“Because you were sixteen,” Gail said. “What can we do?”

“Nothing. Jack doesn’t want to talk to me again. He was beyond
pissed off at me. I don’t think there is a single thing—”

“That’s defeatist,” Nichole said. “And not like you. When you
got turned down by the network for
Pregnant &
Proud
you didn’t take no for an answer, did you?”

“No,” she said. “I didn’t. I went out and shot it and then sent
it to them. But this is different. This isn’t some committee who doesn’t think
that TV viewers want to see pregnant women preparing for birth. This is a man
who doesn’t want to see me again because I hurt him.”

“Yes, you hurt him.” Gail said. “Take what you are feeling and
apply it to him.”

“But Jack said he likes to be alone,” Willow said.

“He likes it because he is safer that way. He is hurting just
as much as you are right now and you owe it to him to make it up to him,”
Nichole said.

“What Nic is trying to say in that convoluted way of hers is
that you need to go after him and show him that you love him.”

“I haven’t said it,” Willow admitted. “I didn’t want to be the
first one. Listen, I’m not even sure he loves me.”

“Then you are an idiot,” Nichole said. “Sorry to be mean but
that’s the truth. The man has been showing you he cares since he first showed up
on the set of
Sexy & Single
in May.”

Willow thought about it for a good long minute and then sighed.
They were right. If she just let him walk out of her life again she’d be dooming
both of them to never finding true happiness. She just had to figure out how to
make him see that she was sorry for what she’d done and that she loved him more
than anything.

“You’re right,” she said. “I need to come up with a plan.”

* * *

One of the benefits of being a celebrity and having a
vast network of contacts was that when he’d decided to leave the East Coast,
Jack didn’t have to wait for a scheduled airline flight. He called a friend who
knew someone with a G6 and the next thing he knew he was on the luxury jet
heading for California.

He sat in the large leather seat nursing a Jack and Coke and
wishing he could leave behind the aching in his heart as easily as he was
leaving New York.

The sad part was he’d known that Willow was going to do
something to hurt him. He’d known that she was just a temporary partner. Why had
he let himself fall for her?

He was smarter than that and always had been. He’d carefully
dated women who weren’t looking for more than some good times with him because
his Karma was to be alone.

And yet he’d been fixated on her like she could be more than
that. Willow Stead…the woman who used her iron fist to keep everyone under her
control. Except that she hadn’t done that with him.

He knew that the bet she’d made wasn’t her best moment and to
be honest he could almost see why Nichole had done it. He’d known that night
when Willow had shown up that he’d gotten lucky she hadn’t backed out. But he’d
thought that it had been Willow’s own curiosity about what could develop between
them that had brought her to his door.

In no way had he ever imagined that she’d come as the result of
a wager. To be fair, she was the only woman in his world of acquaintances who
would do such a thing.

He rubbed the back of his neck, finished off his drink and
reached for the bottle to pour himself another one. Then stopped. He was about
to land in L.A. with a hangover.