California Sunrise (26 page)

The car wheels hummed on uneven pavement as he tried out different responses in his mind.

“Sometimes it was hard to keep going in medical school. Who was I, a farmworker’s son, to try to change my life so drastically? I’d come up with all kinds of excuses as to why I shouldn’t continue.”

“What kept you going?”

“My parents. They’d sacrificed everything, including me, to give me a better life. I needed to honor that.”

She continued to fidget. “It’s not the same.”

“I thought you and your mother reconciled.”

“We did, but I don’t have the same feelings that you do.” She turned to look at Luis. “I knew exactly what I wanted before I got pregnant. Then I made new plans, something more suitable, and now?”

A flash of insight gave him the answer to her problem. “You settled for less than you’d hoped for because you thought that’s what you deserved.”

She turned back to him. “Probably. Except now everyone is telling me I should go for more. And I don’t know. Should I?”

“Yes.” He let the word hang there for a few moments. They were almost at the clinic, and there’d be no time to talk. “Not only do you deserve it,
cariño
, but Luis needs a mother who’s happy, and the world desperately needs the talents you can give it. You’re smart, compassionate, and see things with a different perspective. Don’t give up on yourself, Alicia. We haven’t.”

He hoped he’d said enough to keep her going to classes.

He wasn’t sure how to handle her grandmother. That was something Alicia would have to figure out by herself.

A few minutes later, Raúl pulled into the parking lot. He went to help Alicia with Luis, but she waved him away, so he was forced to watch the scene, torn between needing to do something and enjoying the interplay before him.

Luis shrieked when she unbuckled him from his car seat. “It’s almost as if he knows something’s up,” she said. She crouched down and looked at her son.

He looked away.

She touched his hand. “We’re going to go inside. You will be okay. Raúl and I will be with you.”

Luis didn’t look at her, but he didn’t make any noise when she lifted him from the car seat.

“It’s working,” Raúl said.

“
Sí
. Thank you for helping us.”

He prayed the formality of her words had to do with nerves, and not because she was withdrawing from him.

The clinic was like most government locations in California—a functional cement bunker. Chairs, almost entirely full, lined the walls of the waiting room. Even though they’d made an appointment, they were told they’d have to wait a half hour.

Alicia removed Luis’s favorite toy from her bag and settled him on her lap.

“Would you like a magazine?” Raúl asked her.

“Difficult to read.” She glanced at her full hands and smiled.

“True.” While there were things to say, this wasn’t the place. Too public. Too much angst.

They stared at the flat-screen television anchored to the ceiling. He didn’t know about her, but he was no more informed about the news when the time for their appointment arrived than he had been when they sat down.

“Aren’t you Dr. Mendez?” the nurse asked as she led them into a small room.

“
Sí
.”

“I thought I recognized you. Many of my patients tell me how you’ve helped them with their emergencies when the clinic is closed or too crowded. They tell me you don’t charge them. It’s a good thing you do.”

“Thank you.” Embarrassment crept on his skin, and he found he couldn’t look at Alicia.

The nurse scanned the document Alicia handed her, then looked up at Raúl with sharp eyes but didn’t say anything.

“The boy can be a challenge,” he said, trying to explain away his presence, uncomfortable with her silent judgment.

This time it was Alicia who gave him a sharp glance.

Damn.
He hadn’t handled that well.

“That’s normal. I’m a stranger who wants to stick something in his mouth. Can you get him to open up, Ms. Fuentes? I’ll be as fast and gentle as I can.”

Alicia repeated the same routine as when she removed Luis from the car. Surprisingly, Luis cooperated, and they were done quickly.

“It takes about three or four weeks to get the results,” the nurse said.

Was there an innuendo in her voice, or was he imagining her silent question? What should he say? Would it be better to pretend he was Luis’s father? Or Alicia’s boyfriend?

What if they broke up?

“Luis is one of my patients,” Raúl said.

“Why did you say that?” Alicia asked when they were back in the car. “You made it clear you were there as a doctor, not as a friend.”

“Because I didn’t want some busybody making something out of nothing.”

“So now we have nothing.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.” He put his hand on hers, but she pulled away and turned to the window.

The hum of the wheels struck a discordant note. Could he fix this? Or would she walk away? He cursed himself. She deserved better. He was supposed to protect her, not hurt her.

The silence lasted until they reached her grandmother’s house. Once again, he went to help her, but she waved him off. His heart ached.

Emotional pain was getting to be a familiar companion.

“Thank you for your help, Raúl,” she said as she paused on the steps of the white clapboard house.

“Would you like to have brunch on Sunday after church?”

“I don’t think that would be good.” Her eyes were even darker with regret. “Maybe we need some space. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

“Don’t go away forever, Alicia. I was trying to protect you. So you don’t agree”—he balled his fists in frustration—“what else is new?”

She opened her mouth, and then shut it again.

Unsaid words blew in the breeze around them.

“I’m not going to let you go without fighting for a chance,” he said. “But I’ll give you some time, as long as you make me a promise.”

“What’s that?”

“You sign up for classes.”

She shifted Luis on her hip and bit her lower lip.

“Please, Alicia. Do it for Luis—and for yourself.”

Her eyes narrowed. “On one condition.”

It was going to be bad. But he’d do anything to keep her in his life, see if they had a chance. “What?”

“You find out what happened with Joe Wilson’s son this week.”

At least she hadn’t asked him to meet with the man, and it was something he’d intended to do anyway. “All right.”

“Promise?” she said.

“
Sí
. And you?”

“
Sí
.”

Bargain struck, he held out his hand. She took it. He would have to pray very hard on Sunday.

• • •

Alicia raced up the college stairs. Although she’d promised Raúl she’d register, she’d still waited until Tuesday, the last day possible to join classes for the fall semester.

Part of the problem had been tuition. Because she’d filed late, the loans still hadn’t materialized, although she’d been assured they would. Once again, Elizabeth had fronted her the money to cover it.

So here she was, working with a counselor to plan out a course of study she never thought she’d follow: sociology. And when she got that degree, all it would buy her was a need for more education.

Caramba.
What was she thinking? How could she possibly manage?

In spite of her hesitation, she pressed through registration and purchased the needed texts. Laden with the heavy books, she got into her car and drove to the top of the mountain above Watsonville.

She sat for a few moments, gazing over fields, palms, and buildings she knew. Seagulls and pelicans were images in the distance, cut-outs clinging to the deep blue water of the bay’s edge before it disappeared into dark gray fog. She thought about the bargain she’d made with Raúl.

They were supposed to meet again for coffee to report their progress.

Then what?

She punched in the coach’s phone number at the appointed time, hoping Carol would have some wisdom for her.

“Carol Eos here. How are you, Alicia?”

“Good.”

“Well, that’s an improvement over ‘fine,’ I guess.” Her laugh boomed over the line. “What’s on your mind today?”

Alicia caught her up on the craziness of the past few weeks—Eduardo’s lawsuit, registering for school, and the status of her relationship with Raúl.

Or non-relationship.

Her voice choked when she explained their disagreement over immigration and the incident in the clinic, her heart constricting in pain over the loss of his presence.

“Relationships require discussion and compromise,” Carol said. “It can be difficult when people are on two sides of a hot-button issue, but it can be handled.”

“How?”

“You and Raúl are going to need to figure that out for yourselves, but think about what happened when you and your mother reconciled. What did you need to change?”

“Myself.”

“Yes. It’s the only thing you can change.”

• • •

Alicia sat in the hard chair, playing with her coffee cup, staring at the door, willing Raúl to walk through it.

The fog had continued to stay out to sea. Fall was definitely on its way, bringing the secret summer beloved by the locals.

His smile was cautious when he walked through the door, but seeing him gave her hope.

“Hello,” he said as he sat.

“Hi.”

She didn’t want to be the one to speak first.

“Did you register for classes?” he asked.

“Yes.”

His shoulders, which had been close to his ears, relaxed ever so slightly.

It was her turn to ask. Instead, they both sipped their drinks.

“It happened,” he finally said.

“What?” Although she knew exactly what he was talking about, and the prospect horrified her.

“Joe Wilson’s son died because he wasn’t seen soon enough. The kid they were working on was illegal.” He raked his hand through his hair, a gesture of frustration she was getting to know. “It was standard triage procedure. Joe’s son was breathing, and he wasn’t bleeding. At least not that they could see.”

“So Wilson is right. His son died because an illegal was treated before him.”

“Technically, yes.”

She had to keep her temper in check. Seeing a child die was not a technicality.

“I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.” Raúl’s expression was tentative. “I know what you’re thinking. A child dying is important. It’s tragic that Joe Wilson’s son died.”

“Do you understand how he feels?”

“
Sí
.”

They sipped more coffee.

“And?” she asked.

He spun the coffee cup around. “What do you want me to do? I can’t bring back his son.”

“You need to talk to him.”

“I don’t
want
to talk to him.”

She wanted to yell, make him understand, but knew it wouldn’t help her cause. Another sip.

“I’ll think about it.”

She nodded. That was as good as it was going to get.

“When’s the custody hearing set?” he asked.

“Next week.”

“I’d like to be there to support you. Would that be okay with you?”

His presence would mean she wouldn’t be alone.
Abuela
wanted to be there, but she was still too weak to go places, and her mother was tied up in Los Banos.

But if he came, would his presence be misinterpreted? They still had things to work through, things their relationship may not survive. That was all unknown. As the saying went, all she could do was take it one day at a time.

“I’d very much like it if you would come.”

“Then I will be there.”

“So where do we go from here?” she asked.

“We could go on a date.” He laughed. “How about a movie on Friday night? Can you get a sitter for Luis?”

Things were looking up.

“Remember,” Alicia’s lawyer, Jessica Martin, said to her as they took a seat in the wood-paneled courtroom in Santa Cruz four weeks later. “Don’t interrupt or say anything unless you’re asked by the judge or a lawyer. Answer the question directly, but don’t elaborate.”

Tension twisted her stomach.

Eduardo and his lawyer walked down the aisle into the courtroom, Graciela trailing behind, the ring on her left hand glinting. She smirked at Alicia as she took her seat behind the rail.

“Don’t let her get to you.” Raúl spoke from his spot behind her. “You’re going to win this.”

His support enabled her to sit up straighter and face forward.

“All rise.”

She stood with the rest of the people in the courtroom and waited for the judge, an older man in the traditional black robe, to take the bench.

As one, the audience sat, almost like church.

“It is my understanding that you are suing for joint custody of the child”—the judge consulted his paper—“Luis Fuentes.”

“Yes, your honor.” Eduardo’s answer was firm. “I wanted to have full custody, but I was told that would be unfair to the child’s mother.”

Jessica Martin scribbled on her pad.

“I see.” The judge glanced at Alicia.

She kept her face neutral, as the lawyer had instructed her. Behind her, she heard Raúl shift in his seat. She was glad he had her back.

“The DNA test shows you are the biological father. Is there any other pertinent information that needs to be brought before the court at this time?”

“No, your honor,” Eduardo’s lawyer said.

Jessica Martin echoed him.

“Then proceed.”

Eduardo and his lawyer walked to the lectern in front of the judge, and the lawyer began to speak.

“My client, Eduardo Vazques, is petitioning for joint custody of his son, Luis Fuentes. He would also like to petition to have the child’s last name changed. Eduardo has only recently learned of the existence of this child and would like to step up to his responsibilities.”

Alicia couldn’t stifle her gasp.

Jessica put her hand on her arm and gave her a stern look.

“What does the plaintiff have to offer the child?” the judge asked.

“Mr. Vazques recently became engaged and expects to marry within the year. He has a secure job at an auto shop in Los Banos, as well as a two-bedroom apartment. In contrast, the child’s mother lives with her grandmother, and the child sleeps in her bedroom. She has a part-time position with no secure future.”