by Reason of Sanity (27 page)

When Vinnie calls, I ask him about his therapy sessions and who referred him. I don’t know why but I’m not too surprised by his answer – the yellow pages. Maybe the telephone directory is okay for a plumber but I would think that a person might want to have a more personal type of referral to a therapist. But who am I to talk? My murder case was solved by a guy who I got from a fluke phone call made by Suzi when she dialed 1(800)AUTOPSY. The conversation continues. “Vinnie, do you know if your therapist is a psychologist or psychiatrist?”

“What do you mean not exactly? He’s got to be one or the other.”
“He’s not a
he
, he’s a
she
.”
“Whatever. Okay, which one is she?” “I don’t think she’s either one of those.”
“Well what about her office… is it in a professional office building?”
“Actually, it’s right down the street on Washington, between the dog grooming parlor and the boat broker.”
“Vinnie, I’m familiar with that street and the only thing between those two places…” I stop short. It suddenly hits me. The storefront where he goes for his therapy certainly isn’t the office of a psychiatrist or psychologist. In fact, if my memory serves me correctly, the sign on the window says ‘Palm Reader.’ Vinnie is going to a palm reader for therapy
– and it’s helping him.
“Mister Sharp, are you still there?”
“Oh yeah Vinnie, I’m still here… my cell phone must have cut out for a second.”
What’s the use? How can anyone expect to give advice to a guy who considers a palm reader his therapist? Ronald Reagan’s wife consulted with an astrologer, and she advised the President, so maybe they know something I don’t know. I politely end the conversation by telling Vinnie that if Olive wants to join him in a therapy session, then he should do whatever makes her happy. With Stuart’s talent for filling out paperwork, I’m sure he’ll get his insurance company to pay for Olive’s therapy too. I wonder who’ll pay for mine.

Later in the afternoon I go through some papers, trying to clean off my desk. I happen to see some further results from the facial recognition scan. Included in the stack of videos given to the kid for scanning was the tape from the fast food place – and we got a hit off of it – the guy in the car planting a kiss on the boy. What a surprise. It’s none other than Seymour, the acting District Attorney running against Myra in the election.

I like to work out, but my favorite exercise is definitely not jumping to conclusions. I figure that anyone running for an office these days must have a website, so I look for his and find it. On his personal history page, he claims to have gotten married just last year for the first time. Word on the street says it was to some socialite broad about five years older than him and that the main attraction between them was his desire for her money, to finance his campaign, and her desire to be the wife of some guy who will take her to black tie affairs.

Let’s see. I can do the math on this one. Two adults who’ve never been married before, now together for only a year – that means the kid in the car with him was not his son.

This is tricky. I’m not into blackmail but this is definitely an item that can keep him from being elected. Being gay isn’t the kicker here, it’s the fact that his record of prosecution shows that he’s especially hard on homosexuals, and a two-faced attitude like that can really come back to bite you in the ass, especially in an area with a large concentration of gay voters. Anyone who’s been to West Hollywood can attest to the fact that after San Francisco, it’s probably the second most densely populated area for gays… and they all pay their taxes and vote.

The problem now is how to use this information to Myra’s advantage without letting either one of them know about it. Going to the press is out of the question. That would create a scandal that would ruin his career, his marriage, and also hurt the image of the district attorney’s office. I’m not on a crusade and I certainly don’t want to ‘out’ anyone. Whatever they do in their private lives is their own business – I just want to get Myra elected, like I promised.

I take another look at the video of the two of them in the car and call the lab to have them email me an enlargement of a particular frame that shows them facing forward as they pull up to the cashier’s window.

When it comes in, I notice that both Seymour and his lunch date are wearing neckties. This elevates his companion out of the ‘kid’ category. He has a baby face, so I was misled into thinking he was much younger. It wouldn’t surprise me to discover that they work in the same building together because the IDs that each one has pinned to his shirt look similar. It’s not uncommon for people to get together for lunch, so they probably can easily keep their relationship secret. I e-mail just the young man’s portion of the close-up to Jack Bibberman and tell him to stake out the district attorney’s building employee parking lot. I want to know who this guy is.

he State of California has contracts with several lar ge insurance companies from whom the state will accept policies that guarantee return appearances of criminal defendants in court. The policies issued are insurance documents called ‘Bail Bonds,’ and the insurance companies have agents located throughout the State who are authorized to issue these policies and procure the release of prisoners whose bail amount has been set by the court.

Bail bondsmen are sharp business people, and when they write one of their bonds they want to make sure that in the event the bonded person doesn’t appear, the amount of the bond will be covered. This is done in several ways. On most misdemeanor bonds, a credit card can be used. For bail that exceeds a thousand dollars, a bondsman might demand someone execute a second mortgage on real estate. Bail for the dog lady and her accomplice has been set at a quarter of a million dollars each. The house they lived in was rented, so no second mortgage could be given and they’re remaining in custody.

I have the kid send an email over to Handelmann’s office letting him know of a wonderful new bail bond service.

To all California attorneys
representing persons charged with crimes: this announcement is to inform you that the Bernard Bail Bond Company is offering a new service that will accept settlement drafts on civil cases as security for the issuance of bail bonds. If the settlement draft exceeds the combined amount of bail plus premium, the company will issue you a certified check for the difference. This service will be applicable to all State and Federal Court criminal cases.

Handelmann doesn’t k now it, but he is the only attorney that gets this message from me.
Two days later I convince Olive to make a phone call for me. Knowing that she’s not the brightest bulb in the lamp, I rehearse her dialogue for several hours and then dial the phone for her. It rings and a female voice answers. “Handelmann law offices.”
To play safe, I’ve had several three-by-five cards with dialogue filled out that cover different situations she might encounter. I now place the ‘secretary answers’ card in front of her. I nod to Olive and she goes on. “This is the Bernard Bail Bond Company, and we would like to tell Mister Handelmann about a new service we’re offering.” I’m listening on the extension phone, so I’ll know if I should get the ‘lawyer takes the call’ card out for her.
“Handelmann here, what can I do for you?” Olive sees the next card and follows her script.
“Hello Mister Handelmann, this is the Bernard Bail Bond Company and we have a new service we’d like to tell you about…” He cuts her off mid-sentence.
“Is your boss there?” I tell her to hang up her phone and then I take over.
“Hello, this is the civil draft security division of Bernard Bail Bonds. Can I help you?”
“Yes, this is Richard M. Handelmann, attorney at law. I got your e-brochure and would like some information on how the service works.”
“Okay, that’s simple. First you fax us a copy of the draft, along with the name of the person you want to bail out and the booking number, along with his or her next appearance date and the amount of the bail. Once we verify the authenticity of the draft and the amount of the bail, we make arrangements to meet you in court at the next appearance date. At that time, you hand us the draft and we hand you the bail bond, all filled out and ready for presentation to the jailer, along with a certified check made out to you for any amount in excess of the bail and our premium.”
“That’s it? That’s all there is to it?”
“Yes sir, that’s how easy it is. If the settlement draft is made payable to you and your client, we would naturally need both of you present to endorse the draft, so that we can deposit it to our corporate account.”
“No problem. The client is also one of the people being bailed out. There are two of them. Total bail for both is a half million, but that’s no problem because the draft is for more than one million.
“Excellent. I’ll give you back to our secretary and she’ll give you our private fax number for you to use.”
Olive takes the phone back and reads from the ‘fax number’ card. Mission accomplished. If this goes as planned I won’t have to bother getting his account frozen or deal with the Probate court. Mister Handelmann will do the polite thing. He’ll hand me the draft so I can return it to the insurance company, get even with Charles Indovine, and get my insurance defense job back.
Olive interrupts my reverie with a question. “Mister Sharp, where are we going to get the money to give him for his change?”
It never fails. There’s always someone around to spoil a good plan. “Don’t worry Olive, we won’t need any money. He’ll just give us the draft out of the kindness of his heart.”
“Can I come and watch?”
“Sure, you can even bring your fiancée Vinnie with you.”
“Are there going to be any dead bodies there?”
I assure her that on this assignment she’ll only encounter the living. Now it’s on to the second and third steps of the plan. I call Lieutenant Evans at the Van Nuys police station. I owe him a favor.

Olive told Vinnie about the new plan, so he calls and wants to know if I need any help. When I ask him what type of help he wants to offer, he informs me that Stuart sent both he and Olive to a special weapons training place, where they completed a course in firearm handling. With their certificates of completion and a letter of employment from Stuart’s armored transport business, the state’s Department of Consumer Affairs issued each of them an Exposed Firearm Permit, so that they can wear their holstered guns.

When I ask Vinnie why Olive would need one too, he tells me that Stuart’s funeral escort business has grown so much that he’s getting another armored truck and that Olive will drive it. I guess that carrying a loaded sidearm will make her feel safer around the dead body in a funeral procession.

I thank Vinnie for his offer and tell him that on this assignment there’ll be quite a few ‘regulars’ around, in case anything goes wrong.

I feel good about the fact that there will be some reward money coming in for Harold’s family, so I think it’s time I actually speak to them. I’d like to introduce myself and express my condolences for their loss.

Whoever answers the phone at his family’s house doesn’t speak English. It’s German, and I struggle to tell her that I don’t speak the language and will call back at another time.