by Reason of Sanity (19 page)

“Chief, as my business card indicates, our practice is limited only to the civil prosecution of dog bite cases. I know that sounds strange but as you probably know, there are a lot of dogs here in Southern California.”

Long ago, I learned that if you utter four magic words, they make any person’s head nod up and down in agreement with whatever you’re saying, so always try to use them, and they are: ‘As you probably know…’ Now that he’s agreeing with me, I press on. “We’ve had some small children injured by a woman’s large Rottweiler. Our problem is, we don’t know how to locate her. Several of the clients are quite well-off, so they’ve authorized me to offer a reward for any information that leads us to her.”

At this point the chief tries to straighten me out. “Mister Goodwin, I appreciate the fact that you’re trying to locate this dog-lady, but all we do here is building security – we don’t go out looking for people with dogs.”

“Chief, you’re absolutely correct, and that’s why I came to you. We’ve got some information that her husband runs a business in one of these large office buildings and she occasionally comes to visit him. We also understand that she may have bribed some lobby security guards because she’s allowed to bring the dog into the building and elevator when she goes up and visit with her husband.”

The Chief strenuously denies this. “No way, Goodwin. My guards are above reproach. There’s not enough money in the world that’ll make them break the rules and let a big Rottweiler into this building, let alone into an elevator.”

“Okay, Chief, I believe you. Tell you what, here’s what I’d like to offer you. On behalf of my clients, if your staff have any reason to stop a woman with a large barking Rottweiler and ask her to leave the lobby, I’m authorized to pay five hundred dollars in cash to the charity of your choice, if while in the line of duty, one of your guards discreetly follows her outside and gets a description of her vehicle and its license number. And if that member of your staff wants to go above and beyond the call of duty and follow the vehicle to wherever her next stop is, my client will pay an additional five hundred dollars for that address.”

The Chief looks at me and rubs his chin. I go on. “Chief, we have a feeling that if she’s going to come into your lobby at all, it’ll be within the next week or so. What do you say? Can we count on you and your fine staff to help us out, so that we can recover some money for the injured children?”

He takes my business card and thinks about it. “Well, I guess that finding out who tried to break our security rules would be a reasonable extension of our duties here. Let me talk to the staff. I think I can work it out… and it’ll help the children, right?”

It worked like a charm. Not only did he agree to go along with the plan, but as my business card indicates, I am now officially ‘Archibald Goodwin, private investigator,’ under the supervision of one ‘N. Wolfe.’

I go through the same procedure at the rest of the banks picked out as likely targets and wait for a phone call from one of the building security chiefs. Just in case some good info comes in, I have the office prepare an envelope containing a thousand dollars in C-notes.

They’re going to strike again and we want to be ready. After their next job we may know who some of the players are, so that we can stake them out and follow them to another job. This is really a job for the authorities but they would never believe me if I brought this story in, so I’ll just have to do their job for them.

This is exciting for several reasons. First, I may get some information as to how the Drago and Blitzstien cases are connected. Second, as Archie Goodwin, I may actually solve a crime and break up a bank robbery gang – and third, there’s a ten percent reward out for information leading to the arrest and conviction of this gang, so if my plan works I’m in line for a nice payday. They’ve already stolen several hundred thousand dollars, so by the time I catch them my bounty should be enough for a new yellow Hummer… that is, minus the kid’s cut.

After a couple of days go by I start to get antsy. Harold’s trial date is coming up sooner than I’d like and there have been no calls from the lobby brigade. My waiting ends. The early afternoon local news show reports that another bank has been robbed. It was on our list of possible targets.

Sure enough, the answering service we hired specifically to receive calls for Archie Goodwin lets us know that a message came in. It’s from the security chief of the building where the most recent bank robbery took place, and he’s got the whole package for us – license plate, description and her destination.

I grab the envelope of cash and drive over to the building. By the time I get there, it’s crawling with cops and feds. My old friend Special Agent Snell is there. Not wanting to blow my ‘Archie Goodwin’ cover, I wait until he’s busy in the bank before I approach the security chief.

“Chief, I understand you have something for me.”
He smiles. “Sure do Mister Goodwin, do you have something for me?”
I take the envelope out of my pocket and hand it to him. He tells me to wait a minute while he goes to his office for my package. I’m sure that being in the security business he wants to count the money first. When he returns to the lobby, he hands me an envelope. I have one more request. “Chief, do you mind if I ask the member of your staff a question about the lady?”
Not surprisingly, I’m told that he didn’t want to trust the assignment to anyone, so he did it himself. “Wow chief, that’s some job you did. Let me ask you, did she go right to her car and then drive home?” His answer confirms my suspicions.
“Not really Goodwin. She walked the dog back out to the car and then drove around the block a couple of times. After each time around the block, another guy got in her van, from a different part of the block.”
I praise him again for the fine job he did, thank him and leave. What a great security chief he is. He follows the lady, sees her pick up all the members of the gang who just robbed his building’s bank, and he doesn’t have a clue. All he knows is that he’s got a grand in his desk, and he’s happy. I don’t want to push him too far about whether or not any of her passengers were carrying any bags, because there’s a possibility that his ignorance actually has a bottom limit and I don’t want to stir him into any action that’s beyond his capabilities. The heavy lifting on this case should be left to my new organization – Goodwin & Wolfe. Wait ‘till I get back to the boat and tell Wolfe about the results – I’m sure he’ll drool with anticipation.

That thousand dollars was well spent because it confirmed my suspicions about the dog act being a diversion. Information on the dog lady’s vehicle shows that it’s registered to a man who lives at the address where she ended her trip that afternoon. This means that I’ve actually located the gang’s hideout. I’m starting to feel a little like Elliot Ness. I know who the players are and where they start out and end their jobs, but I have absolutely no experience in what to do next.

The easiest thing for me to do would be to call the Feds and let Snell and his boys bust down their door. They’d probably find the stolen money, but that would leave me out of the action completely and that’s unsatisfactory. I’ve broken this case with real detecting and brainwork and nobody’s going to steal my perps from me.

What I want to do now is figure out some way that I can bring this gang’s career to an end. I want to be able to catch them in the act of robbing a bank. I want to be able to put on my cape and be Captain Crimefighter. I want to have my head examined. Am I crazy? This is insane, trying to bust up a robbery gang. I could get killed. These people have guns. There’s got to be a safer way for me to play the hero.

Actually, I think this whole stupid gangbuster urge is probably just to impress Myra. I have no doubt that she’ll be the next district attorney of this county and I don’t want to just be ‘the guy who used to be married to the D.A.’ If I can pull this off, maybe I can get back some of the respect she used to have for me. Who knows?

After about an hour of serious conference time with my canine partner ‘N. Wolfe,’ he decides to slurp some water from his bowl and take a nap. It’s so hard to find good associates. However, we did manage to come up with a plan.

With the help of some other members of our staff, we can stake out the gang’s house and follow them to their next job. If things go according to schedule, the dog lady will probably do her exit strategy in reverse. If I was planning it, I’d go around the bank building’s block a couple of times, dropping off the ‘inside’ guys at different places. Then I’d pull into the parking lot and casually walk the dog towards the lobby, keeping my eyes on the bank’s doors that exit to the lobby.

If that’s the way it’s done, then once she starts to circle the bank building, we’ll have from five to ten minutes to get in place – whatever that means. The other problem is that I haven’t figured out how they get the money out. A light bulb just went off over my head. In excitement, I scream out a yell of success that wakes my associate. When he decides to approach me, I tell him how it’s going to go down.

First, with the help of the four Asian boys, Jack Bibberman, Vinnie, and Stuart, we stake out their house. This doesn’t have to be an around-theclock operation because all the jobs they’ve pulled so far were in the afternoon. They usually wait at least a week in between jobs, so all we have to do is post someone down the street from the house starting at noon every bank day, starting in about four days.

As soon as they’re on the move together with the men and the dog all in the van, we’ll have our stakeout person call us and then start to follow them. We’ll do it like the real cops, with at least two vehicles on their tail: one a private car and the other a taxicab. Someone being followed might notice a car on their rear for a while, but taxicabs are almost invisible – they disappear into the street scene.

We’ll keep in constant cell-phone communication with the tailing vehicles so that we can be waiting at the location of their intended job. When the van starts to circle the block, we’ll get inside and post surveillance at the bank exit leading to the lobby. One of our team will wear a bright print Hawaiian shirt, a pair of Bermuda shorts with street shoes with black socks and have a camera hanging around his neck. This will be one of the Asian boys and he’ll look like a typical Asian tourist. His job will be to pretend like he’s shooting some video of his wife, one of the waitresses recruited from the Chinese restaurant. This will give us a good record of the gang exiting the bank, and hopefully we’ll see what happens to the money.

My job will be to talk to the Chief of the building’s security. No doubt he’s one of the guys I’ve already talked to, so he’ll know who I am. This time I’ll tell him the truth, which is that I’m working in conjunction with Senior Special Agent Robert Snell of the FBI’s bank robbery task force. That’s not too far off. I intend to turn everyone over to him. I’ll tell him the real truth about what’s going down at his bank. If he doubts me, I’ll show him copies of the dog incident reports from the other lobby guards. I’m sure that in less than sixty seconds I’ll have him convinced to join the program.

Our vehicle team will verify that they’ve still got the same license plates on the van because that will be crucial when we call the feds.

Just to play safe, I have Vinnie call two of the huge guys who used to work security for him when he was shooting porno movies. It’s always nice to have a little muscle around. I’m especially happy to find out that they are actually reserve deputy sheriffs, which means they can legally carry guns. I’m not planning on turning the lobby into the OK Corral, but it’s always nice to play it safe. To cut down on expenses, the porno security guys are placed on call and told to be ready to meet us wherever we say, with only five minute’s notice.

We’re all set. The next few days go by with about seven false alarms. Every time the dog lady leaves the house to go shopping or have her hair done, we get a call that she’s on the move. Everyone is jumpy because we know it’s just a matter of time before the real thing starts to happen. And then it does. On the fifth day of waiting, we get a call that the whole gang is in the van and they’re on the move.

Everyone springs into action. The porno security guards are called. They get into their vehicle and get ready to meet us. Our Asian tourist and his wife are part of the vehicle team trailing the van that day, so they’ll have time to get inside the lobby while the van is still circling the building.

The reports are that they’re now approaching a bank building on Wilshire Boulevard and starting to circle the block. This is great. It’s less than a mile from Snell’s office in the Federal Building.

We tell our reserve sheriffs where to meet us. Their main assignment is to guard the Asian tourist and his wife, just in case anything goes wrong.

I speed over to the bank building and run into the lobby, straight to the security chief’s office. Just as planned, he’s on the same page as us in less than a minute. At this point, we haven’t notified anyone in the bank. No need to cause a panic.

A quick look in the lobby shows that everyone is in place. The Asian tourist is videotaping his wife. Our huge sheriffs are standing by – one by the husband with the camera and the other by the wife. I take a position by the doors leading to the parking lot, so I can give the security chief a headsup as to when the lady and the dog are approaching. I look over through the glass doors leading to the bank and everything looks normal. The robbery is probably already in progress.

Looking through the lobby’s glass doors I see the lady with the dog. She’s paused on the steps outside the lobby with a cell phone to her ear, obviously waiting for her signal to start the show. I signal our crew in the lobby that it’s about to go down.

Just as planned, the lady and the dog enter the lobby. At this point, I don’t want to be in that group of people who have their attention diverted by her action, so I walk over to the doors leading to the bank. Behind me, I hear the dog barking. Everyone turns around but the Asian tourist and me. Even our girl playing the wife looks over in that direction. Like true soldiers, our two sheriffs don’t take their eyes off of their wards. I see two men walking casually from the bank towards the lobby. They’re both wearing large sunglasses. As they come through the doors, I turn away and look towards the dog act, so as not to be too obvious. Our Asian tourist pretends to be looking toward the dog act, but all the while keeps the camera pointed at the bank’s exit door.