By Any Other Name (24 page)

In his room he looked around, taking in the lovely space that was now just his. Could he lose this? Could he lose Dru and Thom?

He had so much with them. Thom was his go-to guy, the one who talked books with him, listened to his ideas with enthusiasm, and always had a smile for him. The one who took the role of a listener when he needed one, the one who could relate to what he was feeling better than Dru just because he was a bit older and calmer in nature than Dru was. Thom was also his workout buddy in the mornings, and their breakfast moments were nice, peaceful even.

And then there was Dru. The gorgeous, perfect Dru. Yes, he could be high maintenance, something Thom always teased Dru about, but that mattered very little. Both Thom and Skye were willing to cater to Dru because they loved him so much. Yes, Skye was in love with them both, there was no denying that. For a long time, beginning with that last year in the basement, he had thought he could never feel anything again. The numbness he had felt in there had been staggering.

The memories of Dru had begun to fade, but the feeling of home was still there whenever he managed to catch a glimpse of those memories. Dru was his home. Would he be able to leave that behind and go away, to the other side of the country, with Kara? What would he do there? Try to study something from home? Take care of Justine all day? He could probably get some sort of a job that would bring some money for them. Maybe.

Skye realized he was thirsty and decided to go downstairs to get something to drink. He sneaked out of the room and walked past the now-closed door of the other bedroom as quietly as possible. There were no sounds coming from the room, so he hoped Dru had passed out or something. He wasn’t going to have any conversations tonight.

Everything went just fine until he got to the kitchen and peeked into the fridge for a drink of something.

“Skye… can I have a word?” The voice from the stairs belonged to Thom, and now the older man stood there between Skye and the way back to his room. Damn it.

“Eh… sure. Couch?” he asked, and Thom nodded. Skye took another bottle of water from the fridge for Thom, and they went to sit on the couch, not touching but quite close still, Skye noted.

“So,” he said when the silence threatened to stretch.

“I wanted to talk to you about tonight, what happened at the club.” Thom sighed and took a sip of his water. Skye could tell he wasn’t really looking forward to this conversation any more than Skye was, but apparently it was something they needed to do.

“I… I don’t get it, you know?” Skye finally mumbled.

Thom leaned back in his seat and turned his head enough to look at Skye, who was hiding behind his hair.

“It’s who we are as a couple, Skye. I trust him. I don’t always think I’m good enough for him, but I trust him, and because of that trust, he can dance like that. He would never cross any lines we’ve set together, I know that for absolute certainty. The lines
we
set, Skye. Not you or anyone else. It looks bad, I know, but those guys he danced with tonight, they know me and they know him and they know all about the boundaries we have,” Thom explained.

It sounded simple, it sounded like an agreement between Dru and Thom, but…. “I couldn’t watch him like that,” Skye whispered, acknowledging the words for the truth they were. “I was jealous, and I don’t know what that means, Thom.”

Thom shifted in his seat, took Skye’s bottle and put both of the bottles on the table. Then he was suddenly there, much closer to Skye, and his arm was around Skye’s shoulders. It didn’t feel smothering, just like support. One more thing to show how in tune Thom was with Skye’s emotions, with
everyone’s
emotions, really.

“Skye, you love him,” Thom stated as if it was the simplest thing in the world, “and I think you’re going through something like… this sounds stupid, I know, but some sort of a sexual awakening. You’re having those kinds of feelings, and you’re confused.”

Skye leaned back on the couch and into Thom’s embrace, thinking about what he had said. Sure, Skye knew the sexual-awakening thing was true. Hell, he had talked about it with his therapist too. He was beginning to have “those feelings,” and it was confusing at best.

After a few minutes of sitting there in silence, Thom spoke again. “I was never jealous of the guys he dances with. He’s just having fun; those guys don’t have the power to take him away from me. But you might, because he loves you like you love him. The gist of things is that it isn’t just that, not anymore.” The words were quiet, thoughtful, like Thom was just letting them out instead of really thinking about what he was saying.

Skye listened to him, wanting to protest but unable to for some reason. He wouldn’t take Dru away, he had promised that.

Then Thom continued. “The thing that’s changed is that we both love you, Skye. Not just Dru. You complete us in some way. We didn’t know… we didn’t know we had something missing, not until you came along. We were happy and in love, but you bring something to this relationship that we need. He’s terrified you’ll leave, Skye, because he can’t handle anyone leaving, but if you do….” Thom’s voice faded out again.

It felt like someone was tightening a rope around Skye’s chest. He concentrated on breathing, trying to stay calm. These words, they held expectations Skye wasn’t sure he could handle now—or maybe ever.

Thom raised his head and looked at Skye until he had to look back. “We love you, and we want you to stay because you complete us,” he repeated. The look in his eyes was startling, because Skye recognized it for what it was: love. Could it be true? That not only did Dru want him, but Thom as well? Skye blinked, and then suddenly Thom was much closer, the look in his eyes different.

Carefully, as if not to startle him, Thom raised a hand and sneaked his fingers into Skye’s hair. “You have no idea, do you?” The question was barely audible, and the husky tone of Thom’s voice made something within Skye respond. His heartbeat kicked up a notch, and his breathing hitched in his throat. A second before it happened, he knew what they were going to do. Not what Thom was going to do, because Skye could have backed down at any moment. Instead he was still, not quite like a rabbit in the headlights, because generally rabbits weren’t curious about how a collision with a truck would feel. When their lips met, he blinked. The surge of
something
terrified him for a few frantic heartbeats, and then it was too late to back down. It was alien, feeling someone breathe so close and lips pressed to his like that.

It was funny how he knew what to do, how his body took over and his lips parted with a sigh as his eyes closed. The feel of Thom’s lips against his tongue was intoxicating, and despite his whole body being so tense next to Thom’s, his mouth wasn’t hesitating. Then their tongues brushed against one another, and the taste of the other man invaded Skye’s mouth. It was a nice flavor, some of the liquor from the club still lingering but mostly just what Skye thought was Thom’s own flavor, so different from—

The memories filling his mind hit him like the truck hitting the poor rabbit. The acrid taste of another tongue in his mouth, Skye bound to something, a wall in some disgustingly dirty, dark cellar. Before he knew he was moving, Skye was running up the stairs, away from Thom and into the safety of his room. He even locked the door behind himself, glad of the lock and key he hadn’t needed before tonight.

He went to his bed, sat down, and concentrated on his breathing techniques, trying to calm his heart and his mind, trying to tell himself it was okay when it really, really wasn’t. How would he be able to be intimate with anyone when someone as nice, as understanding as Thom made him freak out with a simple kiss?

Skye sat there for a long time, maybe an hour or two, he didn’t know. At some point soon after he locked himself in, he heard steps and a thump of what he thought was Thom’s forehead against his door. But the man said nothing, and Skye was still trying to calm down. After a while he heard the steps retreating and the master bedroom door opening and closing again. He felt like shit suddenly, not really knowing why.

Some time before sunrise, Skye got up from where he was sitting and looked around. He grabbed his duffel bag and packed his things, leaving the Mac and most of his clothes but taking everything he’d need if he really wanted to move out for good. All he knew now was that he needed space and he couldn’t breathe in this house anymore.

Once he was sure the others were asleep, he tiptoed out of his room and got his meds from downstairs before sneaking out of the house. The walk to Kara’s was short, and for some strange reason, he wasn’t scared at all, no matter that it was still almost completely dark. He was trying to face his problems head-on—it left very little room for killer does and other monsters to give him a hard time.

He didn’t ring the doorbell, just knocked, knowing that Justine would go ballistic over the ringing like always. With the knock, she came to investigate. Skye could hear the nails clicking on the other side of the door and smiled.

Then Kara opened the door, looking sleepy and disheveled, and smiled at him sadly. “You talk to them at all?” was all she asked.

Skye shrugged, and she let him in, sighing deeply enough for both of them. He didn’t give her details, and he wouldn’t until he knew how exactly he’d phrase what had happened between himself and Thom.

“Luckily, I thought this might happen and made the guestroom bed for you. You’re free to stay, Skye, as long as you need it. Or, well, as long as I’m here, at least.” She smiled a little and walked with him to Skye’s new quarters.

“It was pure jealousy,” Kara said as she stood there in the doorway as Skye put his bag down on the armchair in the corner.

“Huh?” He tried to play dumb.

“Your behavior at the club. It was like you were the boyfriend who got crazy jealous about Dru dancing with those other guys. Yet Thom was okay, because they know and trust each other completely. They have rules, just like Dru said. It wasn’t like he was cheating,” Kara said sensibly, looking at him with the same sad eyes.

“Yeah…. I just… I’ve promised Dru to never leave him again. I’ve promised Thom not to get in between the two of them. And I’ve promised myself to survive somehow. I just don’t know what to do, Kara,” Skye said quietly, his tone almost desperate.

That made Kara move. She walked to him and wrapped her arms around him. “You have a week. Figure this out. Something’s gotta give, honey. You can come with me, but I know you’ll never love me as you love them. We’ll figure things out, I’ll still be your hag or whatever”—she smirked and made him smile—“but I’ll be a realist about this. You know Dru will never come after you, and Thom might let his insecurity come between the three of you having a chance.”

Kara sat on the bed and tugged him down to sit with her. “So if you really had the chance, would you do it? With them, I mean? It’s obvious to me you love Dru with all your being, but how about Thom?” Kara asked and made Skye’s head spin a little bit.

“It’s—”

“Tricky, complicated, yes, I know all this. Speak to me, man.” Kara grinned.

“I don’t know that I’m ready for anything… physical, you know. And they’re such physical people. They touch each other all the time, and… and of course they have sex, and… just looking at that happening from the outside would be painful,” he said, and Kara nodded. He left out the part where he had actually watched the other men making love and the kiss between himself and Thom. The taste of that kiss, of Thom, still lingered in his mouth, and he wanted to keep it all private.

“But you do have those feelings now?” Kara asked and looked away from him to give him space, something she knew to do now.

“Yeah… I never did before. I do want them both. Just don’t know….” He shrugged a little. “But anything else, the whole relationship otherwise—I’d do it. I want what they already have, and I want it with them. Thom… in some ways he’s even closer to me than Dru is. But you know Dru.” He smiled at Kara, who nodded at him, smiling widely.

“He can be a bit of an ass sometimes,” she said with a grin, and Skye had to chuckle.

“My only doubt is that what if this is something like… a reaction to them taking me in. I missed Dru all the time when I was gone, so what if I’m mixing love and gratitude and relief with each other?” Skye’s tone got quieter towards the end of the speculative question.