BWWM: BEFORE I WAKE: A Bad Boy Billionaire Book Collection (African American Interracial Series) (356 page)

I struggled to get up but Don was so fucking strong. I couldn’t push him off even as he brought my leg up…higher and higher…he was twisting it at an odd angle and the pain was splintering through my entire body. I tried to scream at him to stop. I tried to ask him what he was talking about. Why was he calling me a fraud? I AM a champion!

I heard a big rip and a pop as he pushed my leg all the way up over one of my shoulders. Ahhhh...

I woke up in a sweaty, tangled pile of sheets. My breaths were ragged and harsh as my heart pounded so hard I thought it was trying to get out. I sat up and rubbed my eyes…it was only a dream. I looked around the room in a panic to convince myself that I was indeed alone. Alone.

I was at home in my place in Malibu…all alone. The events of the fight with Cain and my anger towards Don had gotten all mixed up in my head. Fukin’ hell.

I leaned over the edge of the bed, groaning at the sound of my back cracking and put my face in my hands. I could feel my hair sticking to the side of my face. Gross.

I glanced over at the clock…it was only five a.m. I hadn’t fallen asleep until probably two a.m. Three hours was becoming my new regular. I guess when the stress is so thick that you can hardly breathe and you get basically no exercise at all…that’s what happens.

              I pushed myself up out of the bed and groped around in the still darkness for my crutches. Hobbling into the bathroom, I turned on the shower and stood looking at myself in the mirror. I was still losing weight and the lack of sleep and good nutrition was etched into my face. Fuck.

A few things about my appearance had changed but at least my tattoos were consistent. I chuckled to myself as I remembered how mortified my mom had been when I’d revealed the tribal pattern that scaled across my entire arm, twining and twisting from my shoulder to wrist. I had gotten it when I’d first entered the mixed martial artist arena a few years ago. It was a reminder of the evolution that I needed to go through in order to be the best version of myself. Kinda like now.

Tomorrow was the surgery and after that, I would start over, chipping away to reveal a stronger man. I tried to psyche myself up… I was ready for this shit. I flexed my arm and smirked
.
Time to evolve, bab
y
! I shook my head pathetically and turned away.

I climbed into the warm shower and just stood there under the spray, letting it wash down my back, visualizing it washing the stress away. I wish it was that easy. I wish that I could just wash an entire year away… a year when I was being duped by people who I thought were my friends.

              When I got out of the shower I made myself two boiled eggs. I still wasn’t hungry, but I knew I had to eat. I forced them down and while I cleaned up, I thought about Tina. Tina was there the night I lost to Cain…but she didn’t come back to the locker room to check on me, and she too hadn’t called since.

I sigh heavily. It’s better this way, than if I would have gone through with proposing like I had been thinking about. Dodged a bullet with that crazy.

              I heard my cell phone ringing from down the hall. I cussed up a storm as I tried to get my crutches underneath me on the tile kitchen floor and hobble down the hall to my bedroom. I made it on the fourth ring.

Out of breath I picked up the phone, frustrated. “Hello?!”

“Hi honey. Are you okay? You sound winded.” Mom.

I smiled and thought about telling her she’d caught me having sex, but I knew she wouldn’t think it was funny so instead I told her the truth.

“I’m fine. I had to hobble all the way to my room for the phone.”

“Oh shoot! I’m sorry. This is why you should stay with me after your surgery.” Her voice sounded bright and somewhat convincing.

Suddenly, I wished I would have told her I was having sex. I hate when she pities me. “I’m really doing fine, Mom. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to tell you I love you and I’ll be there tomorrow for your surgery. Are you sure you’re doing okay, Jack?”

I leaned against the counter. “I’m great in fact. Don’t worry about me.”

“It’s my job as a mother to worry.”

I smiled. She took that job to the max sometimes…but in her defense, I’m sure raising a kid that turned out to be an MMA fighter is no picnic. “I know Mom, but I’m a big boy and I’m okay.”

“Fine, you don’
t
nee
d
me any longer.” She pouted and I laughed.

“Of course I do. I’ll see you tomorrow. Make sure they’re giving me plenty of the good drugs.”

“Goodbye young man,” she said. I knew the drug talk would do it. Drugs and sex…no-no's with my mom. “I love you.”

I smiled. “I love you too, Mom.”

I hung up with Mom and took the next big step towards my goal. I dialed the number of a general league manager who owed me a big favor.

“Hey Johnny, it’s Jackson Hanks.”

“Hey! Jax the Axe! How are you, man? I heard Connolly ripped you apart pretty badly.” I rolled my eyes. I can only imagine the rumors.

“Nah, I’m okay. Just a little tear. I’ll be back in the ring by…” I cleared my throat. Better just get it out.

“That’s actually why I’m calling, John. I need a manager and a trainer… I’m gonna need a whole new team.”

He was silent for too long. “Uhm, what exactly is it you and thi
s
tea
m
will be doing, Jack? Look, the streets are talking and it sounded like it wa
s
lo
t
more than a little tear. Now, you and I are good friends Jack and you know I like you... But I need to know what exactly you’re thinking time wise here because Caroline would fucking kill me if she thought I was putting you back in too soon.”

I cringed when he brought up my mother. Sh
e
woul
d
kill me. Especially when she found out what division I’d be in.

“I’m going for the heavyweight title in the spring, John. It makes more sense for me to come back as a heavyweight.”

“What?! Are you actually hearing yourself? Don would never...”

“Don’s out. They’re all out. We’re no longer a team. I don’t wanna get into the details right now Johnny, but trust me when I say those pricks were only out for themselves. I need your help this time. Please don’t make me remind you…”

“Hey alright! I was afraid of that. Jack, I’d never forget that! You know that!” What happened in Vegas, stayed in Vegas. Because I made sure it did. I waited on the phone as I heard him let out an exasperated huff.

“Shit, alright! I owe you. You’ll get your shot in May.”

“Thanks Johnny. One more thing?”

“What’s that kid?”

“Let’s keep this between you and me for now.”

“Jack...” I knew he feared the wrath of his my mom more than me.

“I don’t care if you’re a family friend John! My mom doe
s
no
t
find out until the spring. And you don’t breath a word of this to anyone else. Anyone! I’ll be there in May. Tell Goliath to be ready for me.”

***

              Mom picked me up at five thirty a.m. the morning of my surgery. We got to the center in Tarzana about six a.m. I signed in and then we waited. Mom was a nervous wreck and I was doing my best not to feed off of her nervous energy.

To me this was a new beginning and I was actually looking forward to it. Once this hurdle was crossed…I was on my way to becoming the heavyweight champ.

              “Hey, stop looking like we’re here for a funeral,” I told her with a smile. She squeezed my hand.

              “I’m sorry honey. It’s something you won’t be able to understand until someone is poised with a knife and ready to cut your baby open.”

              I laughed. “You know that ‘your baby’ is a giant of a man now? It’s going to be fine, Mom. I promise.”

              She reached to stroke my hair. “I don’t care how big or old you are. You’ll be my baby until I die. I’m sure it will be fine, but like I told you on the phone last night, worrying is my job.”

              “Okay, I won’t take that from you,” I told her with a grin.

              “Mr. Hanks?” The receptionist was calling for me. I picked up my crutches and she said, “Oh no, wait there. I just have some paperwork. I’ll bring it to you.”

              “Thanks.” She came around the back of the counter with the paperwork on a clipboard. I’d already consented to all of this verbally…now I get to sign my life away. Let’s get on with it already.

As I was in the middle of signing papers, the main door beeped. This place was a zoo and it annoyed me that I was just another animal checking in to be sterilized and tagged.

I didn’t look up until I heard a voice that drew me in. All I could see was the backside of a woman as leaned on the counter…and damn was it a beautiful backside.

Her long brown hair hung past her shoulders against the light blue scrub top she was wearing. Her blue scrub bottoms hugged her curves despite their futile attempt to be professional. Her arms were a burnished bronze color and my mind began to drift…

I’d always been attracted to exotic, dark-skinned women, it’s something about the contrast to my lighter skin, blue eyes and blonde hair I think.

I couldn’t hear what she was saying to the receptionist, but just the tone of her voice felt like a song I liked. Nice. I didn’t realize I was staring until Mom cleared her throat.

              “Really, son?” A knowing smile pulled at her lips.

              I think I blushed…it’s my mom, geez. “What?”

              She rolled her eyes. “Right…do your paperwork!”

              I chuckled and that caught the attention of the angel at the counter. She turned and caught my eyes. Hers were a deep brown surrounded by long, dark eyelashes. I caught a dimple on the side of her cheek and my heart stopped.

She had full, peach lips and skin so soft that she almost looked airbrushed. Her cheekbones are high but full and her hair swished and framed along her feminine features. The front of those scrubs looked as good if not better than the back too. I was so fucking mesmerized.

Mom elbowed me but I ignored her. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. This woman held my gaze for several long seconds but the spell was broken by the beep of the door swinging open next to her. She smiled shyly and my heart exploded… then she disappeared through the doors. I craned my neck to watch how she walked away
.
Wow.

              “Jackson!” Mom whispered. “This isn’t a bar, son.”

              I grinned again. “She doesn’t look like the bar type anyways. I like the smart, professional ones.”

              Mom rolled her eyes again and said, “I hope this means Tina is history because smart and professional that girl wa
s
no
t
.”

              I smirked. “True story… and yes, she’s history, the past. But maybe we just glimpsed my futurrrre.”

She elbowed me again giggling and said, “Do your paperwork!”

I laughed, but I finished the paperwork and Mom took it up and gave it to the receptionist. Not long after that, Dr. Matthews called us back to his office.

My day was made when we walked inside and the Goddess - as I had named her seconds ago - was already seated next to his desk. Even though her legs were covered in cotton scrubs and Converse shoes …my mind could almost see clearly what they must look like underneath. She stood up and smiled when we entered.

              “This is Amara Wright,” the doctor told us. She stepped towards us with her hand out. My mother took it first and introduced herself as “Jackson’s Mom,” and not “Caroline.” She still thinks that defines her. She’s so cute.

              “And you must be Jackson,” she said in that smooth, warm voice. I peered down at her. Damn, I’d love to hear her say my name in that voice while we’re… Mom elbowed me again.

              I cleared my throat. “Sorry, yes, I’m Jackson. Nice to meet you.” I took her hand and the satin feel of it was just what I’d imagined it would be. I held it too long and was slightly embarrassed when she finally pulled hers back…but it was worth it.

              “Have a seat,” Dr. Matthews told us. We all sat down and the doctor went on to start.

“Amara is going to be your physical therapist at Malibu Rehab. She likes to follow her patients through surgery so that she’s with them every step of the way - if you have no objections to that, Jackson?”

I couldn’t look at my mom. Just the look on her face in my peripheral vision was almost too much. I nodde
d
ye
s
and hoped it didn’t look as eager as I was feeling.

              “I can’t think of a single objection,” I told them, glancing at her.

              She smiled again. Jesus, my heart almost hurts when she does that. I’ve almost completely forgotten what I was here for.

“Good,” Amara said. “We’re going to have quite a long road ahead of us, but I’m sure you’re aware of that already.” The road was suddenly looking like it was paved with gold.