Butterflies in Honey (Growing Pains #3) (7 page)

They went back to Krista’s hotel for lunch
since she planned to expense it. When their sandwiches arrived,
Cassie took a bite, then asked, “So who is this handsome guy you’re
seeing?”

“Did Sean tell you that?”

“No, Kate.”

“Oh. Yeah, he’s a really nice guy. He’s good
to me.”

“Can’t ask for more than that.”

“Yeah,” Krista said, trying to sound
chipper.

Cassie nodded, looking down at her fries.
They passed some time in silence before Cassie said, “So tell me
about your glamorous life! I haven’t talked to you in years!”

Krista laughed sadly. “Glamorous life, huh?
How often do you talk to Kate and Jasmine?”

“I see them regularly. I need friends and
they need to be force-fed shots. We are perfect for each other.”
Cassie laughed.

That started a string of stories between the
two of them. Cassie told Krista about her, Kate, and Jasmine’s
escapades, and Krista told Cassie about her travel stories. Krista
could fill a book with the dumb things she did. She was actually
worried that Marcus was keeping a book!

After lunch, they walked to the train and
headed to the Mission to meet Kate and Jasmine. They chose a dive
bar and started slow. Kate and Jasmine wore jeans and shirts, no
makeup. Cassie and Krista wore some of their new clothes and were
all dolled up. It was a funny contrast.

“Okay,” Krista said after they all sat down.
“Why am I so far out of the loop? Why did no one tell me Cassie was
a member of our SF gang?”

Jasmine shrugged. “Never came up.”

“Okay. Fair enough. How is the job going?”
Krista asked Kate.

She and Jasmine laughed. “It’s fine. We just
goof off most of the day. It definitely isn’t the same without you.
And the art department is nowhere near the same without Marcus! The
whole company is kind of limping along.”

Krista quirked a brow. “But I heard some big
accounts were coming through.”

“As soon as Sean leaves, the whole place will
fall down like a domino effect. He is the one holding it all
together,” Kate clarified.

“He’s got something new, though,” Krista said
confusedly.

Cassie looked at her sharply. “Did he tell
you that?”

“Yeah. Look, is there something I’m
missing?”

“No. Sean just isn’t really talking about
whatever he has coming up. I was just surprised he told you, is
all.” Cassie shrugged.

“He didn’t tell me much. Just that something
was in the works.”

They all nodded and shrugged. Before Krista
could ask more about it, Kate started spewing off her latest
dramatic episode with dating. That started Jasmine competing with
her about worst first-date stories. Then Cassie and Krista chimed
in. Before any of them knew it, they were neck deep in beer, and
happy to stay in their seats until they had to be rolled home.

So much for seeing the town or doing dinner.
Although, Krista would have dragged everyone around by the ear if
Sean had agreed to dinner. Turned out he had to work and couldn’t
get out in time. Or even later to meet them after. In other words,
he didn’t want to see her. It didn’t need to be any more clear. And
she didn’t need any more pain witnessing it.

“What about you?” Jasmine asked at one point
when Krista returned from the bathroom. It was about seven in the
evening and Krista had a sound buzz on.

“What about me, what?” she asked, noticing a
hot guy at the bar.

“Why aren’t you engaged by now?”

Krista choked on her beer. A piercing stab
went through her heart. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, every time we hear from you, you talk
about some guy taking you out, or cooking for you, or giving you a
warm homecoming. Marcus sent over his picture. He’s hot. What are
you waiting for?” Jasmine was looking intently at Krista.

“Yikes. I don’t know. The sky to fall? We’ve
only been together a year. We need to move in together before
marriage.”

“When is that going to happen?” Kate
asked.

“Why? Is there a bet on or something?”

Kate shrugged. “You usually go full speed
ahead when you want something.”

It was Krista’s turn to shrug. “I don’t know.
Life is busy. Work is super crazy right now. I just haven’t really
had time for a social life.”

Jasmine said, “Well, fill us in on your
glamorous life! Marcus says you are kicking ass and taking names. I
feel like we are out of touch.”

“Why do you all keep applying ‘glamorous’ to
my life?” Krista shook her head. She had been in constant contact
with Kate and Jasmine, mostly through email. She told them
everything of note. She figured Marcus liked to spin tales of
grandeur.

“Not all that glamorous, no. I work my ass
off. I wake up, surf, go to work, come home, do my fitness routine,
then go to bed. Every once in a while, I go out with Marcus or Ben.
I make time for Chet. Oh yeah, and I travel all the freaking
time.”

“Yeah, but, everyone in your office thinks
you rock as a boss, right? I mean, we knew that, but still,” Kate
said, eyeing some guy that just came into the bar.

“Don’t bother, he’s gay,” Jasmine shot at
Kate.

“I know. I flirted with him last week. I
still like to look!” Kate retorted. Cassie laughed at her and
followed her gaze.

Krista continued to answer their question.
“Work is pretty awesome, yeah.” She took a sip of beer. “I like
what I do and who I work with. I’m just…I don’t know. It’s just a
bit lonely, you know? I didn’t want to leave San Francisco. But, it
seems Jim is determined to follow me around and piss on my
parade.”

“Speaking of.” Krista continued, missing the
glance between Cassie and Kate, and trying to throw off the sudden
pallor of their conversation. “Just throwing it out there: I have
an opening in my department. I know you guys are probably tired of
living in my shadow, but if—”

“Tired of living in your shadow?” Jasmine
laughed. “Yeah, right. You find jobs, then bring us on for more
money. It sounds like a dream to me.”

“Well, it’s out there. Just sayin’. And the
weather is fab. But I only have one opening.”

“One opening and an extra bedroom for the
freeloader who has to find their own job. I’m in. I’ll take
freeloader status.” Kate raised her hand.

“Seriously?” Krista asked excitedly.

Kate and Jasmine both shrugged at the same
time then started laughing. They all looked at Cassie.

“Don’t look at me! I have a job. That I like.
Maybe someday if the winds are right, I’ll move to L.A., but not
yet.”

“Spoiled sport!” Kate said.

They all laughed. Suddenly, the night was
getting a whole lot better.

Since Krista was working out of the San
Francisco office for the week, she headed out to Ocean Beach every
morning to surf. She’d gotten lucky with a week’s worth of decent,
if not always great, waves. She moved down the beach from where
Sean might be, however. She didn’t want to face his rejection.

She saw Kate and Jasmine every night and
Cassie made it to drinks or dinner when she could, which was most
nights.

When Thursday rolled around, Krista had to
skip surfing that morning because of an early meeting, so she
decided to head down to her old stomping ground and do her revised
routine for old time’s sake. She parked by her old house without so
much as a wild urge to knock on the door, and headed to her old
starting point. Out of habit, and because why not, she walked
toward the spot she and Sean always met. The day was clear but
cold, and the waves were messy. There were a few people on the
beach, but not many.

She shook her head, not feeling at all bad
for looking down her nose at the dirty, cold, fairly awful beach,
and prepared to run. Taking a lungful of air, she turned to her
right, took two steps toward flight, and stopped.

Sean was ten feet away, looking at her
patiently.

Emotions and butterflies exploded out of
Krista’s body in so many directions, the only thing she could do
was freeze and stare dumbly.
Look
dumbly, too, because her
arms were still out as if she was just about to start running.

“I was wondering how long it would take for
you to notice me,” Sean said, walking over.

“L-long d-day, huh?” She stuttered. She
didn’t know what else to say.

“Always.”

“You still start here?” Now she sounded
incredulous.
Get a grip!

Sean looked uncomfortable and shrugged. “It
helps me keep track of my improvement.”

“Improvement, huh? You think the new and
improved Sean stands a chance against Manic Marshall?”

Sean smiled despite himself, his body
relaxing. “Bring it on.”

She did.

They went through the old routine, both
knowing it by heart. Sean
had
improved. He ran faster and
longer. His yoga was pretty good, his large body bending and
twisting almost normally. And of course, he was still crazy strong.
That wouldn’t change any time soon.

Krista did well, too. She was still faster.
Not much, but it counted. He beat her without a fight in the
strength building, but she had him easily in yoga. She was taking
classes, though, which was technically cheating. Not like she would
admit it.

When they were done, they sat on the sand,
side by side, watching the sun sink.

“You are better, you’re right,” Krista
admitted.

Sean grinned. “You aren’t.”

Krista laughed and bumped him with her
shoulder. She saw his full lips curl at the corners and his eyes
crinkle in the fading light.

“Are you still surfing?” Sean asked, looking
at the horizon.

“Yup. My arms don’t hurt as much, but I don’t
stay out for nearly as long, either.”

“You are pretty good. You learned really
fast.”

“Thanks. But it’s easier to learn when you
don’t spend all your strength paddling.”

“Still.”

They were silent for a spell. Krista could
smell his sweat and unique scent. She closed her eyes and breathed
it in.

“I’m sorry about the other morning. I was
bitchy,” he admitted.

Krista kept silent. It was true. And it hurt.
Another thing she wouldn’t admit.

They were quiet for a long time, darkness
rushing in to steal their last moments together. Soon they would
leave the beach; Krista would go back to her hotel room and Sean
would go home. She doubted they would see each other again. He
obviously didn’t want to see her, and she didn’t want to face that
fact. Even now, in the fading light, sitting on a relaxed beach
after working out together, he seemed uncomfortable. It was like
he’d forgotten how to relax in her presence.

Making a decision, she figured she might as
well drive the nail in the coffin.

“Do you ever think of me, Sean?”

He was silent for a long time. Debating.
Then, “Yes.”

The way he said yes, Krista knew that
regardless of what happened, at least she wasn’t alone in missing
him. He thought of her, too. He might not want to keep up whatever
they’d had, or be confronted with it as he was now, but even though
they had only had something for a short time all those years ago,
they had something once. Something strong.

“Do you…” Sean hesitated. Again debated. “Do
you ever think of me?” He asked it so quietly that it was nearly
lost on the breeze.

She wasn’t bashful about answering. “Every
day.”

Sean was very still beside her. Disbelieving.
Krista wasn’t even sure he was breathing.

“I probably shouldn’t have admitted that,”
she muttered quietly. It was true. She would never want Chet to
find out her feelings for Sean never went away. That she still
loved him with all her heart and didn’t think that was liable to
change any time soon, if ever.

“No. Probably not,” Sean said
cryptically.

“If only things had been different. Jim is
still messing up my life.”

Sean sighed as the darkness consumed the last
of the fire on the horizon.

They passed into silence. Neither really knew
what to say. There was really nothing
to
say. His life was
in San Francisco, or wherever his job was, and Krista’s was in L.A.
With the last of the light dipping behind the horizon, there wasn’t
any other reason to stall. Krista had to respect Sean’s
decision—not cling to the past like she had been—and
finally
move on.

“Well, I’m going to head out,” she said,
standing up, doing her best to keep the tears from her eyes.

Sean stood up with her. “I’m going to hang
out a minute.”

He stepped to her, his body inches away. She
looked up at his intense eyes, the color lost to the night. She got
a moment of panic, thinking he would kiss her. She didn’t think she
could turn him down. She didn’t
want
to turn him down. She’d
never cheated before in her life, not thinking much of those that
did, but if Sean asked… she wouldn’t say no. Not to him.

He saw the concern on her face and spared her
the decision. He hugged her close, needing contact. “I want you to
be happy, baby. Whatever decisions you make, I just want you to be
happy. Okay? Promise me?”

Krista was consumed. This was the final
goodbye. He would move away somewhere and she wouldn’t even know
how to find him.

Tears were running down her face. She
clutched him tight and clung to his chest. “When I was here I
was
happy, Sean. Really happy.”

Sean kissed the top of her head. They stood
that way for a long time—hugging each other close, not wanting to
let go. Not wanting to admit that the last page of the book had
been written, and the book finally, after all this time, had to be
shut for good.

Finally Sean’s arms loosened, and he let
go.

Krista backed up, sniffling like a child.
“Take care of yourself, Sean.”

He watched the love of his life walk away.
For the second time.