Butterflies in Honey (Growing Pains #3) (4 page)

“You look lovely. Would you care to sit
down?” he asked politely.

“Uh, sure. Yeah.” Her eloquence in two years
hadn’t improved, it seemed. She still sounded like a moron college
grad. So, that was irritating.

He led her to a table out of the way. The
whole side of the restaurant was designated for their use. Monica
was a tramp, but she put on a good show.

“I guess I owe you an apology of sorts,”
Krista said once they were seated.

Sean furrowed his brow. “For what?”

“I hit your team kind of hard today.”

Sean’s face lit up. “Yes, you did at that. I
thought we were ready for the famous Krista Marshall. Is…is
Marshall still your last name?”

“No. Actually, now it’s Fields.” She hoped
Sean would look disappointed, but instead he just listened calmly.
“I changed it for identity purposes. So Jim couldn’t find me.”

He nodded, understanding. “Turns out you were
a bit tougher than I anticipated.”

“Well, in fairness, I do know how your team
works.”

“I don’t have a team these days. I am a one
man show. Well, Ray and I are a one man show.”

“Speaking of, where was he today?”

“He is the silent partner.”

“I know, but usually he still goes to the
meetings. Or not anymore?”

“No, he does, mostly.”

Krista waited for him to say more, but
nothing more came.

“So how are things going for you?” he asked,
changing the subject.

This was killing her. They were talking like
old work associates. Not even lovers, and certainly not old
friends.
The hits just keep on coming.

“Well, I travel a lot,” she said, having a
sip of her wine to rid her face of the pain. “A real lot, actually.
But I got a promotion, so that’s good. Doing my thing, as you saw
today. I really like it. It’s a lot of stress, but I like it.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear it. And how do you
like L.A.?”

“It’s…it’s okay. It’s, ah…” She got a sudden
feeling of hopelessness. She wanted to tell him how lonely she was.
That there was nothing for her there. She wanted to confide in him
like she used to. It was all gone now, though. They were all but
strangers. “I surf now. I don’t know if you heard.”

He was looking at her intently, though
distantly. “Really? How is the water?”

“Oh it’s awesome! You should come down
sometime and try it out!”

“I’ve been.” His eyes sparkled when he saw
her response to one of his favorite pastimes. “It
is
pretty
great. But where is the fun? There aren’t even any sharks to
dodge.”

Krista chuckled, though she didn’t feel it.
It was a clever detour around saying he didn’t want to visit.

“What have you been up to?” she asked, trying
to keep the conversation going. She didn’t remember it being so
hard to talk to one another.

“Work mostly. I work obscene hours.”

“Yeah, I heard you made VP.
Congratulations.”

“Junior VP. Thank you. I’ve been in that
position about a year now. My résumé has grown tenfold.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard. That’s really great.”

“Well, I should talk to some of your party. I
know you won’t be taking the account, but I have to try anyway,
right?”

“Well, I don’t think any decisions are made
quite yet…”

Sean just smiled indulgently as he smoothly
got up. He winked as he walked away. She watched him cross the
floor and start talking to an attractive woman. It was salt she
didn’t need. She finished her drink and went to the bar to get
something stronger.

The evening passed slowly. It felt like Sean
was talking to the whole place but Krista. Ben was engaged with
some other art geek, and Marcus didn’t have time to talk to
everyone he knew, let alone waste time on someone he saw almost
every day. What was worse was that Emily felt ill after they ate
lunch and didn’t go to the dinner. Krista told her not to get the
fish—did anyone ever listen to her??

Krista had never felt so alone in all her
life. If it wasn’t bad form, she would have left halfway
through.

It was nearing the end of the night. Krista
was standing outside getting some air and counting down the seconds
until she could go back to the hotel. Her drink was almost dry, but
she didn’t dare go back into the bar to see Sean chatting up some
woman or other. It was cold and she forgot to bring her jacket.
Basically, things were going from bad to tragic.

At least she didn’t have to take the train.
She remembered the hell that was San Francisco’s public
transportation system.

As Krista looked out over the city, she heard
footsteps approaching. She looked over her shoulder, wondering if
she would be mugged with the luck she was having, and saw Sean. He
walked up next to her and stopped.

“I’m sorry for earlier,” he said after a
couple seconds. “I didn’t know how to act.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know how to act around you anymore.
It has been so long. You’ve changed so much.”

“Have I? Maybe I’ve gotten too used to being
tough,” she said lamely. She knew she had become quite the firm
bitch at work, but she had also never been so popular.

“I’m sorry—there I go again. I didn’t mean
that negatively. You’ve grown. Not in stature…” Sean gave a
frustrated sigh and fell silent.

“You haven’t changed all that much. Well,
besides being large and in charge. But you always had that, just
not the clout to use it.” Krista expected Sean to laugh, but
neither of them thought things were all that funny.

“How are you really, Krissy?” he asked
softly.

Krista swallowed, tears coming to her eyes.
“I always loved when you called me that.”

“I know.”

She sighed silently, then answered his
question, “I’m lonely.”

Sean turned to her in confusion. “But I
thought you had someone?”

“I guess.”

When she didn’t elaborate, he asked, “How
long have you been with him?”

Krista was visibly uncomfortable talking
about it. Chet was a different life. He existed in a different
reality with a different Krista. Sean knew Krista Marshall. Chet
knew Krista Fields. The two people had similarities, but were
nowhere near the same. One had a past and a family and friends, and
even a crazy ex-boyfriend. The other was just a name and a job.

“I’ve been seeing him for a year now.” She
hesitantly asked, “How about you?”

Sean looked away from her. “Single.”

Krista sighed. It was irrelevant to her life,
but it was still good to hear. “Did…ah, weren’t you seeing
someone?”

Sean looked at her with a puzzled expression.
“No. Not since... I haven’t had the time since you left.” He took a
breath. “Am I still a part of the rumor mill?”

“Well…not really. Um, Marcus had said that
Judy said you were rumored to have someone regular. But I haven’t
heard much about you or anything. I just wondered about it when I
heard we were coming here. So I asked.”

“You wondered?”

“You know… Yeah.”

They lapsed into silence again. People were
leaving the dinner and getting into their cars. The party was
breaking up. It was time to go. The whole night Krista had waited
for the first available chance to leave, and now that it was at
hand she wanted to do anything but. She was terrified of walking
away and never seeing Sean again.

“How long are you staying?” he asked.

“In San Francisco?” He nodded. “A week. I
want to visit with Kate and Jasmine. I thought I might get up the
courage to surf Ocean Beach, as well.”

“The sharks won’t get you. You have nothing
to worry about.”

“I wasn’t worried about the sharks. It’s the
cold and the hippies that give me pause. I can’t figure out which
is worse.” Krista hugged her arms to her chest. It was cold. She
wasn’t used to it anymore.

Sean laughed. “Equally as scary, yes.
Definitely. The surf is supposed to be big tomorrow. Would you like
my jacket?”

It took Krista a minute to register the
question. When she did she immediately bobbed her head and said,
“Yes, please.” Having his jacket was a great way to stall.

As she dove into his smell and his warmth,
she hugged the jacket close and put herself out there. “Maybe, um,
you could show me the ropes? I’m not used to the rip tides out this
way…” Her voice sounded strange and far away, even to her.

He looked at her. She turned and met his
gaze. He was indecisive, Krista could tell that right away. But
there was something else. Something she couldn’t identify. She fell
into his eyes then, and was barely aware of her surroundings when
he nodded. “You have to get a wetsuit.”

“I’ve already got one.” Krista needed to tone
down her excitement level. “I used the travel clerk. I told her a
very important businessman surfed instead of golfed and I was the
only one that could hang with him.”

Sean chuckled, turning away. “I golf,
too.”

“Oh well, don’t tell Cindi. She’s liable to
stop doing me favors.”

Sean got serious again. “Okay. Best surf
tomorrow is early. Say seven?”

“Don’t try to pull the punches, McAdams. I’ll
be at your house at six. I am well used to ungodly early hours
these days.” She paused a minute, then decided she got what she
wanted, and it was best to go before he changed his mind. “Thanks
for the jacket. I need to head in. I’ll see you tomorrow?” She
unhappily shrugged out of his jacket and handed it back. He didn’t
put it on again, but folded it over his arm.

“Sure,” he said, not looking at her. He
didn’t sound thrilled.

And guess what, Krista didn’t care. It was
one more day with him. She’d take it however she could get it!

~*~*~*~

Sean got home and headed for the couch
immediately, beer in hand. He’d struck out with the account, but
he’d known it would go that way. He’d basically struck out with
Krista, as well. He couldn’t even talk to her. He couldn’t find a
normal thing to say. She’d outgrown him in life. She was reaching
for the stars and he was still trying to piece things together.
Cassie had been right. He regretted letting her go. Now, as she was
right in front of him but out of reach, he had to admit it.

“What’s up big bro?” Cassie asked as she
walked into the room, settling herself into the recliner and
flicking on the TV.

“I saw Krista today.”

Cassie froze, half crouched, remote halfway
to the coffee table. She looked at him slowly. “What was that?”

“She was on the team that assessed our work.
My work.”

“How did it go?” Cassie sat down calmly, TV
forgotten.

“She trampled me. She saw through every cover
up I tried to pull.”

“I don’t care about that. Did she smile a
lot? Did she make conversation? How did she seem? Did she fidget?
Tell me the details.”

“She seemed professional. She seemed like she
had a high-powered job and a
boyfriend.
”

“Boyfriend-schmoyfriend. Kate says she
doesn’t talk about him all that much. When she was with you, she
had to try
not
to talk about you.”

“That was two years ago, Cassie. She’s been
with her guy for a
year
. For
half
of that time. The
honeymoon phase has worn off. There’s no use comparing. She
wouldn’t have stayed with him for a year if she didn’t like
him.”

“Not always true. Sometimes it’s just easier
to stay with someone than to find someone new. It doesn’t mean she
isn’t holding out for something better if it came along and swept
her off her feet. Like before.”

“Cassie, she’s moved on.
Let it
go
.”

“Do you still have feelings for her?”

“
No
, Cassie,” Sean said, his voice
dripping sarcasm. “I suddenly decided I don’t like her, after
pining for her for two years, because she did her job and called my
bluff.”

“Sean, stop being such a Nancy. You will be
kind and charming and
listen—
girls love when guys
listen—and-you-will-get-her-back! Do you hear me, Sean? You will
get her back! She was the best thing for you. She made you happier
than I have ever seen you in your life…
ever.
She was the
only girlfriend I have ever liked. We were friends instantly. She
was already family and I barely knew her. You were stupid to let
her go, and now you have a chance to fix it. So
fix it
!”

“Cassie, I love you; but butt out.”

“Sean, I love you—sometimes—but get her back
or I will make your life a living hell. I will find a guy that
treats me bad and—“

Sean cut Cassie off with a look. She’d heard
about Jim. She’d heard what he did to Krista in the space of thirty
minutes in her room, and knew that it was nothing compared to what
he
had
done to her in the past. Joking about guys like that
was on the forbidden list.

“Just FIX IT!” She yelled at him, flinging
the remote.

Cassie was athletic—she had good aim. Turned
out that remotes, her aim, and her temper were a bad combo. Sean
now had a bump on his head and a headache to match his
heartache.

Chapter Four

Krista arrived at Sean’s house at about a
quarter to six. She had trouble sleeping the night before, so she
was up and out early. She took the long way to check out the city
and reminisce, but there came a point where she was bursting with
anticipation.

She off-and-on felt bad about her excitement
at seeing and hanging out with Sean. Chet was good to her. He
trusted her. She doubted he would be happy to hear she spent time
with her ex-boyfriend. Whom she still loved.

At the same time, she would suffer the loss
of Chet to see Sean again. It was a sad truth, but it was the truth
none-the-less. It really raised the question of how attached she
actually was to Chet.

On the path to Sean’s front door, Krista
noticed a for sale sign on his property. She hadn’t heard he was
moving. He was probably going to a bigger house closer to work. Or
maybe just a bigger house further down the beach. Still pondering,
she knocked.