Burning Down the House (16 page)

“I don’t recommend it.”
I cocked my eyebrows before popping a piece of chicken in my mouth. In a way I was only half joking. Once when I was six my dad and I were playing hide and seek and he made the mistake of jumping out at me. I screamed bloody murder and started flailing my arms like a windmill. It could have been worse. His nose stopped bleeding eventually.

By the time I was done eating, the movie was starting to get good.
Nice and creepy. But it was hard to concentrate when all I could think about was how Rob might react if I decided to scoot over there and snuggle up against him. Ever since that night at the overlook I hadn’t been able to stop daydreaming about how good it felt to be in his arms and how much I wanted to be there again. But he’d gone back to keeping his distance and I couldn’t figure out what was swimming through that head of his.

Saturday night he was flirting with me hot and heavy, kissing me like there was no tomorrow.
Telling me his secrets. Sending me sexy texts. Then Sunday morning it was straight back to the old Rob…friendly but quiet. Polite but distant. It was enough to make my head numb.

And as for the
revelation he’d shared…I wasn’t sure what to make of that either. I couldn’t see Rob straight up lying to me, but how could something like what he’d hinted at go on for years without anyone noticing? If there was physical abuse, wouldn’t someone have seen it? Plus my father would never have been friends with the kind of person who was capable of that. Not if he knew - and you couldn’t hide something like that. Could you?

No more than you could hide a case of arson. Right?

“Rob…?” His name fell off my lips before I could stop it. I didn’t even know what I wanted to ask him. Well, yes I did - I just didn’t know how to ask it without sounding like a creep.

“Hm?” Engrossed in the movie, he didn’t even
look at me. I hesitated, thinking maybe it was a bad idea to bring this up. He might get pissed. Or worse, tell me something I didn’t want to hear. When I didn’t say anything, he finally pulled his attention away from the screen. “What?”

I looked into those
olive-tinted eyes and almost forgot the whole thing. Almost, but not quite. “Can I ask you a question? Without you getting mad?”

Intrigued, he picked up the remote and paused the movie. “
What is it?”

“First you have to promise you won’t get mad at me.”

“All right…I promise I won’t get mad at you.”

“I don’t know if I believe you.”

“Sara, I’m not going to get mad! Now what’s the question?”

Okay
then…just spit it out. Wetting my lips, I timidly asked him, “Did you start that fire?”

To my surprise,
instead of getting all defensive or ticked off he actually laughed. “Oh. You heard that rumor too.”

Heartened by his reaction, I relaxed and allowed myself a relieved smile. “Yeah. Kinda.”

“Ah…come on now. Do you really think I’d do something like that? Set my own house on fire and murder my parents - even if they were a couple of assholes?” He shook his head. “I may be fucked up but I’m not
that
fucked up.”

He didn’t do it. Of course he didn’t do it. How could I ever have thought for one second that he had? I was such an idiot. My father
tried to tell me it was faulty wiring - I should have listened instead of letting my imagination run away with me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insinuate…well, you know. I’m sorry.” Shit. There really was no smooth way of whitewashing this, was there?

“Did you really think I did
that?” Tilting his head, he looked at me curiously. He didn’t seem angry, just…surprised.

“No, not really.” I found it hard to look him straight in the
eye. “I just…I heard it at school so I thought I’d ask. And because you said you weren’t sorry about their deaths and all, it just kind of made me wonder. I know, it was stupid.”

“It’s not stupid to question things,
Sara. It’s a lot more stupid to just accept things blindly.”

It didn’t make me feel any less guilty that he was being so nice about it.
Still, there was one more thing I needed to know. “Were they really that bad, Rob?”

From the way his jaw clenched and his eyes hardened, I knew the answer before he ever said a word. “Yes. They were really that bad.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

“
I don’t think so. Some things are better left in the ashes.”

“Well…can I just ask you one more thing?”

“Yes.”

“How
come nobody knew?”

He hesitated a moment before admitting, “Maybe it was because I didn’t want anybody to know.”

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Do you remember the first time I came to school dressed like a goth?”

“Seventh grade, right?”

“Right.
It all started as a fluke. I came up with the idea one day when I was trying to figure out how to cover up a black eye. Turns out smeared eyeliner works like a charm. Crazy thing was, Trent and Doug thought it was so cool they started dressing that way too. Then Jordan started hanging out with us because she assumed we were all radicals or something. Just kinda became our thing after that. It’s actually pretty funny when you think about it.”

I didn’t see anything funny about it. A black eye, for God’s sake? “None of them ever
knew the truth?”

“
I think Trent may have suspected, but he never said anything. Pretty sure Doug and Jordan never had a clue. Anyway, eventually I got tired of looking like a douche so I tried out for the football team at the end of ninth grade. I figured a contact sport would provide a good cover for any bruises that might show up. Besides, by that time I’d learned how to stay out of his way so I wasn’t getting smacked around as much. I was also working out a lot. He stopped hitting me after that. Maybe he was afraid I’d start to hit back.”

“
But why did you bother trying to cover up for him? Why didn’t you tell someone?”

“Do you remember my dad,
Sara?”

“Yeah…”

“And what did you think of him?”

“I don’t know. I guess I always thought he was nice.”

“Precisely. To everyone else he was the nicest guy you’d ever want to meet. Had friends all over town - everyone liked him. It was only me who brought out that other side of him. It was always only me.” Leaning back against the arm of the couch, he crossed his arms and sighed. “Back in fourth grade I had this teacher I really liked. Mrs. Higgins. You weren’t in that class, I don’t think.”

“No
. I had Mrs. Kennedy.”

“Well, anyway…one day we were supposed to write
this essay on something we didn’t like. So I wrote about my dad and why I didn’t like him, thinking once she read it she’d feel all sorry for me and find a way to fix things somehow. Instead she made me stay after school and told me I ought to be ashamed for making up a story like that. Then she called Buck and told him what I’d done. You don’t even want to know the hell I went through that night. I missed school the rest of the week. After that I made damn sure to keep my mouth shut.”

“Unbelievable
...” I wanted to go find Mrs. Higgins and whop her right in the mouth for betraying his childish trust. We’re taught from a young age that authority figures are to be trusted, that they’re here to help us. This woman failed miserably in her duty. And I swore right then that I would never be the kind of teacher who turns her back on her students. Who simply dismisses their cries for help as lies told for attention.
Never.

“
So does that answer your question?”

I nodded
wordlessly.

“You don’t have to give me that pitiful look,
Sara. I got through it. Things are going good now. There’s no reason to dwell on the past.”

“Yeah, but
that wasn’t just your past. That was, like…your whole
life
. Up until now. Well, up until recently.”

“
Dr. Saunders had a favorite saying. ‘Today is the first day of the rest of your life.’ I think he hit the nail on the head with that one.”

“
Dr. Saunders? Was that your therapist?” I knew he’d recently stopped going to his sessions. I wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a bad one.

“Mm-hm.
That was all your dad’s idea, by the way. He assumed I must have been traumatized by the loss. Hell, I was just wishing it had happened sooner. Typical that they’d wait until a week before my eighteenth birthday to check out. I’d been trying to save money from my part time jobs so I could buy a car and hopefully move out soon, but my mom cleaned out my bank account to put a down payment on that POS house they were trying to renovate.”

“
Your
mother
stole your
money?
” Holy cow, this just kept getting better and better.

“Her name was on my checking account since I was under eighteen. So, yeah…I
really don’t think it was her idea though. Buck was the one who wanted to buy the place.” He laughed to himself. “Karma’s a bitch, huh?”

No wonder he had no love for these people. They sounded like monsters. “I’d say Karma did you a favor.”

“Yep. Better late than never.” He picked up the remote, clearly having said all he intended to say. “How about we finish watching this, and then I need to get to bed. I didn’t sleep well last night.”

I wondered how he managed to sleep at all.

12

It was precisely 10:48 when the power went out. I know this because I had just turned my head to look at the digital alarm clock when it happened. It went dark along with everything else because I’d brilliantly taken the backup batteries out to use in my TV remote a few weeks ago.

I don’t mind the dark.
The dark is quiet and comforting. It’s just that the sudden loss of background noise from the stereo on my dresser seemed to amplify the wind’s howling. It was kicking up like a mofo out there. That’s why I’d left it on in the first place - to try and drown out that escalating whooshing. Some of the gusts were so violent the walls seemed to shake from the force. I was really starting to wonder how the trees weren’t all being uprooted out of the ground. Seriously, it sounded that bad.

I pulled the covers up over my ears and tried not to think about
all the news reports I’d seen where people got squashed by trees falling on their homes during tornadoes. This wasn’t anything like that, it was just a cold front for Pete’s sake. So why did it sound like a friggin’ category five hurricane?

In the
inky darkness I couldn’t see what hit the ground just outside my window - I assumed it was a tree, of course - but the loud WHUMP shook the whole house and sent me flying out of bed. “Okay - screw
this!
” Groping around on the nightstand for my iPhone, I used its LED to find my way down the hallway to Rob’s room. When I pounced on his bed, he didn’t even budge.

“Hey,” I said, reaching out to shake him. He was lying
belly down with his face pressed into the pillow and still didn’t move. “Hey!” I shook him a little harder.

He made some kind of noise that sounded like, “
Nuuuunngh.”

Yeesh, h
ow heavy of a sleeper
was
he? I placed both hands on his back and practically bounced him up and down. “Rob! Wake up! Wakeupwakeupwakeup!”

Finally he
turned his head and slowly forced his eyes halfway open. “Whussit? What?”

“Um
. The power’s out.”

Clearing his throat, he rolled over on his side and blinked
up at me groggily. “You…woke me up to tell me it’s dark...?”

If he was trying to make me feel like a
complete moron, it was working. “A tree just fell right outside my room.”

He looked puzzled. “Tree?”

“Yes, a tree! I’m lucky it didn’t fall on my head!”

“Outside?”

“Yes, it’s outside.”

“Then it won’t bother you,” he slurred
, burrowing back into his pillow and closing his eyes. “Go back t’sleep.”

“What if another one falls?” I fretted.
When he didn’t answer, I shook him again. “Rob! What’s the matter with you?”

“Nothin’. I took an Ambien.”

So that’s what was in that prescription bottle on his dresser. Nothing more than sleeping pills. “The wind is blowing really hard,” I nervously told him. “I mean, like
crazy
hard. Listen.”

Unconcerned, h
e gave a drowsy chuckle. “Sleep in here if you wanna.”

“Sleep? Who can sleep
with the house blowing down around us?” But he was already unconscious again, so I muttered to myself, “You, obviously.”

Not
exactly stoked about returning to my own empty room, I made myself comfortable sitting upright next to him with my back against the headboard. After about five minutes of that I got cold and slid underneath the covers. The wind was still gusting powerfully, rattling the windowpanes, but somehow from in here it didn’t sound quite as threatening. It wasn’t long before I drifted off to sleep as well.

I’m not sure how long I dozed before something woke me.
Electricity hadn’t been restored yet and the room was still pitch black, but the angry tempest outside had diminished to a harmless rustle. Against my arm I could feel Rob’s fingers twitching. Still lying on his stomach, he mumbled something I couldn’t make out before abruptly rolling onto his back. Then, clear as a bell he said, “
Get away from me.
”

It startled me for a minute before I realized he must be dreaming.
Just to make sure, I whispered, “You awake?” There was no response, but I could tell by the agitated way he was breathing and jerking his hand that he was having one doozy of a nightmare. As if it wasn’t bad enough he’d just escaped one - now he was subjected to reliving the experience. Well, that simply wasn’t happening. Not tonight - not on my watch. Touching his arm lightly, I traced it down to lace my fingers with his. “Shh…it’s okay, sweetie. Everything’s okay. No more bad dreams.”

He muttered something unintelligible before sighing and squeezing my hand gently.
The tense muscles began to relax and his breathing gradually took on a slower, more steady rhythm. His fingers went limp in mine as he fell into a peaceful, more restful slumber.

Satisfied, I rested my head against his shoulder and that was when I realized he was naked from the waist up. He
ck, for all I knew he was naked from the waist down as well - maybe he slept that way. How would I know? It’s not like I was in the habit of initiating sleepovers with the guy. Now there was a thought destined to keep me awake all night. The idea that I might be curled up in bed right now with a sleeping centerfold.

There was no way I’d get any rest until I knew for sure. Bringing
one knee up to cautiously rub it against his hip, I was reassured to feel a thin layer of cotton instead of bare skin. Okay, so he wasn’t
completely
in the buff. At least he had underwear on. That was a relief. Or was it a disappointment?
Get a grip, Sara.

W
ell, whatever he was wearing or not wearing, I knew I should get up and go back to my own room. There was no reason in the world for me to still be in here. I should go back to my own bed right now. Just get up and make my way back down the cold, dark hallway. Climb out from beneath these warm covers and leave his comfy, cozy bed…yeah, that’s what I should do…

The next thing I knew I was waking to the blaring of some
Breaking Benjamin song on a clock radio practically right next to my head, and a warm body spooning me from behind. Cursing under his breath, Rob reached over me and whacked the snooze button. Apparently the power was back on.

Relaxing
back into the pillow we shared, he slipped his arm underneath the covers to snake it around my waist and pull me more snugly against him. Sighing contentedly, I covered his arm with mine and tried to ignore the very noticeable erection pressing against my backside. Morning wood, whatever you want to call it - felt more like solid granite to me. It sent a tingle of electricity through my body that prevented me from falling asleep again, even though I was drowsy. I probably hadn’t gotten more than three hours of sleep.

The arm
that was wrapped around me began to casually move until his hand found the bottom of my Victoria’s Secret tank and slid underneath. He caressed my belly lightly with his knuckles while I tried to remember how to breathe. His touch was so amazingly gentle, which from my limited experience was kind of surprising. He paused just beneath my breasts, maybe waiting to see if I would protest. I didn’t.

With my hand still resting on his arm, his fingers slowly traced my curves. He nuzzled my hair out of the way to give me a
lingering kiss on the shoulder before whispering, “You’re so soft…”

“
Can’t say the same for you,” I replied breathlessly. His thumb began to stroke my nipple, stiffening it instantly while liquid heat coursed through me. I felt his hard length grind against me.

“
I tried to tell you…this is what you do to me.”

I wonder
ed if he had any idea what he was doing to
me
. Given the opportunity I would have traded five years of my life not to have to leave the warm security of his arms. How could I ever go back to sleeping alone after experiencing this?

The
loud rock music interrupted us again, and this time I was the one who hastily shut it off. I wanted his hand to stay right where it was.

“I hate that fucking alarm clock,” he muttered,
voicing my very opinion.

“Mm.” I returned my hand to his arm and snuggled back into him.
Cupping my breast, he hugged me close. I sighed in complete and utter bliss. Unfortunately it couldn’t last. The minutes were flying by ridiculously fast. Why is it time only speeds up when you
don’t
want it to?

Finally
he told me reluctantly, “We really need to get up.”

I groaned. “I don’t
wanna get up…I have a stupid physics test today. And I didn’t even study for it.”

“
Babydoll, if you don’t move soon you’re gonna be taking more than a physics test.”

“Five more minutes
…”

“It’s Thursday.
You know your dad’ll be home today.”

“Not
until later.”

“Has
n’t he ever come in early?”

I
considered that. “Um…well…”

“Uh-huh.” Pulling his hand away from my chest, he gave
my bottom a light nudge with his knee. “Time to get up, Sleeping Beauty. Go get ready for school.”

Knowing he was right, I dragged myself grudgingly
from the comfort of his bed. “Mornings suck,” I announced while shuffling to my room.

“Just be thankful you
’re not the one who has to take a cold shower,” he called back, causing me to laugh.

I was sitting on the edge of my bed half an hour later pulling on a pair of socks when
I heard a tap at my door. “It’s open.”

Rob
entered, looking sizzling hot as usual in jeans paired with a green t-shirt and an unbuttoned green and black plaid shirt thrown casually over it. He was freshly shaven and his dark hair was still wet from the shower. And one look from him was all it took to send a queasy knot settling in the pit of my stomach. There was no denying I had it bad for this guy. Too late to save myself now. The train had already derailed - the inevitable wreck couldn’t be far behind.

“Did you say something about a tree falling last night, or did I dream that?” he wanted to know.

Oh, yeah. I’d forgotten all about that. Pushing the yellow curtains aside, I peered out the window. “Well, maybe it wasn’t the
whole
tree. But it is a really huge limb.”

He came up next to me to have a look, standing so close I could smell his aftershave
. “Whoa. I’ll have to break out the chainsaw to haul that puppy off.”

Leaning in a little closer, I brushed my lips against his
smooth jaw. I couldn’t resist. I’m only human.

His eyes shifted from the
mess outside to me and seemed to cloud over as he pulled me into his arms. “You’re bound and determined to make us late, aren’t you?” he demanded.

I smiled
up at him innocently. “Maybe. So?”

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do with you
. You’re a devil in a short skirt, that’s what you are.” He lowered his head to issue a soft, sweet kiss that left me weak in the knees. Branches weren’t the only thing falling fast and hard around here. I wrapped my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his damp hair while he rested his forehead against mine. “You know we can’t keep playing this game, babydoll. It has to stop. I can’t do this.”

I felt the knot in my stomach tighten
apprehensively. “Do what?”

“You know what.” He hugged me gently, a gesture I
was sure was meant to serve as an unspoken apology. “What do you suppose your dad would do if he thought I was screwing around with you?”

Screwing
around? Oh, real nice. I
so
didn’t appreciate the terminology he was using. “I don’t know,” I admitted.

“Neither do I. But
there’s always the possibility of it ending up with me being thrown out on my ass. Is that what you want?”

“No, of course not…”