Burn Out (12 page)

She smiled through
her tears. “Don’t worry. I know Jeff’s not the man of my dreams.”

“He’s out there,
you know,” he said, brushing her hair off her face. “And you just might be
closer to findin’ him than you think.”

***

Walking Erika back
to her room and kissing her on the forehead when he wanted to plunge his tongue
deep inside her mouth and initiate the kiss his body craved was the hardest
thing Evan had ever done, but he knew it was necessary.

His time on the
airplane had helped him to come to some important realizations. He didn’t want
her to acknowledge she was still in love with the guy he used to be. He wanted
her to fall in love with the man he hoped to become.

He meant it when
he told her he was ready to change. When they got home, he intended to
restructure the business and hopefully bring Trey on board, so he would have
more free time. He would buy the house in the family-friendly neighborhood,
adopt the dog he’d always wanted… and he knew just the place to take him while
he worked all day. Erika’s veterinary clinic had an excellent doggie daycare
facility and if she happened to see him coming in to pick his dog up at
promptly six o’clock every day, she would have to realize he wasn’t the same
workaholic he’d been when they were together.

Climbing the hill
to the bars and restaurants lining the path, Evan spotted his Uncle Trey on a
lounger. “Hey there,” he said, nudging his leg. “I thought all the old folks
had turned in by now.” He laughed when Trey opened one eye and gave him the
finger.

“Sierra headed up
a little while ago, but I needed to wind down for a bit before I turned in.”

Evan claimed the
spot next to him and looked out at the vast ocean. “It’s a beautiful spot,
isn’t it?”

“It sure is.”

“Erika and I
always talked about gettin’ married somewhere like this.” He sighed. “I gotta
let go of the past if I expect to move forward, but sometimes that’s easier
said than done.”

“I hear ya.” Trey
opened his eyes and turned his head to look at his nephew. “It’s gotta be
tough, seein’ her here with someone else.”

“She’s just
passin’ time with that guy. I know it’s nothin’ serious.”

“Still, it’s gotta
sting.”

“I guess.” It felt
like the right time to pitch his idea, and he knew his brother wouldn’t mind if
he talked to Trey without him, so he said, “Listen, Ryan and I were talkin’
about you the other day.”

“Oh yeah? What
about?”

“Just wonderin’
how you’re enjoyin’ your retirement.”

“There are things
I love about it, but I can’t deny I miss some things about the music biz. I’m
still writin’ songs, but it’s not the same.”

“We had an idea.”
He held his hand up. “Just hear me out before you say anything. You know I’m
swamped, and I could really use some help.”

“I hear Ryan’s
really been steppin’ up lately. That true?”

“Yeah, he’s been
great, but I need more help.”

“I’m listenin’.”

“We’re lookin’ for
someone with experience to work with the new artists. You know, listen to
demos, schedule preliminary meetings to see if they sound as good live, advise
us, and work with the artists once we’ve signed them.”

“You have record
execs who do a lot of that stuff already, Ev.”

“Yeah, but a lot
of the artist development falls on my shoulders, and let’s face it, our execs
are just a bunch of suits interested in churnin’ out number one hits. I want
someone who knows the music biz inside and out. Someone who understands what
these artists are goin’ through, what the fans want, how to make people fall in
love with them. I want someone who can encourage the artists to stay true to
their vision, ‘cause we both know that’s the only way fans are gonna buy what
they’re sellin’.”

Trey smiled. “Now
you really sound like your old man, kid. I remember in the beginnin’ of my
career, Luc told me I should never try to be someone I think the fans want me
to be ‘cause they’ll know I’m just tryin’ to sell them a bill of goods. I
should always stay true to myself, acknowledge my flaws, make the kind of music
I’d want to listen to, and appreciate each and every person who buys one of the
records ‘cause they’re the reason I get to wake up and do somethin’ I love
every day.”

Evan grinned.
“Sounds like somethin’ Dad would say.” Luc had been responsible for so many
legendary musicians in his career for a reason. He was the best, and Evan was
proud to be his son, to be given the opportunity to fill his enormous shoes.

“You’re so much
like him, Ev. But you’re different in a lot of ways too. It took him a while to
figure out what was really important in life, but he got there eventually. I’m
not gonna lie. I’m worried about whether you’ll ever sort it out.”

Trey had always
been someone he could confide in, so he didn’t hesitate to tell him about his
game plan with Erika. “I’m gettin’ there. In fact, that’s what this proposition
is about. I want to bring you on board so I can start to make time for a
healthy relationship. I want a wife and a family, and I still want the woman I
build that life with to be Erika. I don’t believe it’s too late to turn things
around and make her believe I’ve changed, but I know if I wait much longer, it
will be too late.” He drew a deep breath. “I’m kinda askin’ this as a favor,
Uncle Trey. Will you help me out?”

Trey grinned and extended
his hand. “Hell, you know all you had to do was ask.”

Evan felt a weight
lift as he shook Trey’s hand. “Thanks, man. You don’t know how much this means
to me.”

“Hey, what are
families for?”

***

Erika tried to
slip in to the room without waking Anna, but her roommate was lying in bed
watching TV. Jeff had wanted to share her room, but she wasn’t comfortable with
that arrangement, given the fact her ex was sleeping just down the hall.

“Are you okay?”
Anna asked, looking up at her.

“I don’t know,” she
said honestly, sinking down on the edge of her bed. “Evan and I had a long
talk. He’s ready to move on.”

“I find that hard
to believe. Anyone can see that he’s still in love with you.”

“I don’t think
that’s the issue,” Erika said, staring blankly at the screen. “We realize we
could never be happy together. We grew so far apart during the last year or two
of our relationship. We started wanting different things out of life.”

Anna turned the TV
off and turned toward her, curling up in the fetal position with the down duvet
tucked under her chin. “I know what you mean. I’m beginning to wonder whether
Tom and I are on different paths as well.”

Erika was
surprised to hear Anna questioning her relationship with her fiancée. They’d
been together for several years, and when he hadn’t accompanied her to family
functions recently, Erika just assumed he was busy with his residency at the
hospital.

“Are you guys
having problems?” Erika asked, kicking off her sandals and moving to the center
of the bed. “Is that why he didn’t come to the wedding?”

“No, he couldn’t
get away from work. We’re not really having problems, it’s just…” She bit her
lip, as though trying to find the words to express her confusion. “He’s
fielding offers from hospitals in other states. I knew relocating was a
possibility when he proposed and I thought I was okay with it, but now…”

“You’re not so
sure?”

“Yeah, is that
bad? I mean, I made a promise to him. I should be willing to honor that,
right?”

Erika smiled at
her friend. “Honey, you have to do what feels right to you. If going with Tom
doesn’t feel like the right call, don’t do it.”

She rolled onto
her back and covered her eyes with her forearm. “I’ve just invested so much
time and energy in this relationship. I can’t imagine starting all over again
with someone new.”

“I know what you
mean,” Erika said, tucking her knees under her chin as she curled her arms
around her legs. “That’s why it took me so long to end things with Evan. Well…
that, and I was still in love with him.”

Anna lifted her
arm to look at her friend. “That night at Jimmy’s, you told Evan you’d fallen
out of love with him a long time ago. That wasn’t true?”

“No.” She pressed
her cheek against her knee, letting her hair fall over her face. “I didn’t know
what else to say to get him to back off, so I said the only thing I could think
of to make him believe it was really over.”

“I can’t even
imagine how hard that must have been on both of you. Tom and I have been
together half as long as you and Evan were, and I know breaking up with him
would leave a huge void in my life.”

Erika fell on her
pillow, facing Anna. “More like a gaping hollow that seems to get deeper every
day.”

“Really?” Anna
propped her head in her hand, resting her elbow on the pillow. “So what they
say about time healing is just B.S., huh?”

“Yeah, I guess it
is.” Erika rolled on to her back, not wanting her friend to see the tears
threatening to spill down her cheeks.

“So, there’s
nothing between you and Jeff?”

“No. I mean, we’ve
gone out a few times, but it’s never gone further than a good-night kiss on my
doorstep. He’s a nice guy, but he’s not Evan. I just want someone who’ll make
me feel the way he did, you know?” She smiled and pressed a hand to her
stomach. “Someone who’ll give me butterflies… who can turn me inside out with
one kiss…” She sighed, tucking her hand under her head. “Is that too much to
ask for?”

Anna laughed.
“You’re asking the wrong person. I’ve never found anyone who makes me feel like
that.”

Erika rolled over,
facing Anna. “Seriously? Why did you agree to marry Tom if he doesn’t make you
feel that way?”

“I do love and
respect him. We seem compatible. He’s a good friend who’s always there to
support me when I need someone to lean on. I guess I thought that would be
enough.” She paused. “Do you think I’m settling? I mean, do you think there’s a
guy out there who could make me feel the way Evan made you feel?”

“I’m sure there
is. If my relationship with Evan taught me anything, it’s that you should never
settle for less than you deserve. You deserve a man who’s going to be your best
friend and an incredible lover. Someone who’s going to love you no matter what
and put you first. We all deserve that, An.”

“Yeah, but what if
we waste our whole lives searching and never find it? Then we wind up alone.”

Erika knew she was
too young to start fixating on that possibility, but her biological clock was
telling her it was time to face reality. In four short years, her risk of
complications during pregnancy increased significantly. She knew many women had
healthy babies well into their forties, but statistics made the prospect more
daunting.

“I’ve thought
about that,” Erika conceded. “A lot, actually.”

“Maybe you and
Evan could find a way to make it work.”

“Believe me, if
there had been a way, we would have found it while we were together.” She
thought back to all the sleepless nights while he traveled. The times she’d
prepared his favorite dinner and set the scene with candles and music, only to
fall asleep on the couch before he came home. The last minute cancellations
when she was all dressed up and ready to go out. She hadn’t felt like a
priority in his life for a long time, and that hurt even more than not being a
part of his life at all.

“I could never go
back to the way things were. It’s for the best… him deciding it’s time to move
on.” The little voice in her head may call her a liar, but her lacerated heart
knew it was true.

Evan watched his
friends repeat their wedding vows and his eyes drifted to Erika, standing
across the aisle from him, behind the bride. She looked stunning in a soft
coral floor-length gown that fluttered in the gentle tropical breeze. Her hair
was swept off of her neck and secured with sparkling, sporadically placed pins.
Her make-up was flawless, except for the subtle tear tracks on her cheeks. She
took his breath away.

He could imagine
them standing front and center with her wearing a white gown, her hands in his,
promising to love him forever. He wanted that with a ferocity that made his
stomach twist painfully. He only hoped it wasn’t too late.

As the officiant
pronounced the happy couple husband and wife, the wedding party linked arms and
descended the platform, making their way down the long white runner to the
cheers and tears of the guests lining the lawn.

Erika looked up at
him and smiled before linking her arm through his, and he ached to brush away
the tear streaking her cheek. He had been the cause of too much sadness in her
life, and he would do anything to erase the past two years from both of their
memories. He wanted to go back to a time when they had fun together, when they
made each other laugh and still believed they were meant to be together.