Burn Out (10 page)

She didn’t doubt
Evan’s love for her. What she questioned was his ability to change. He was a
workaholic, perfectionist, control freak… Those characteristics were so deeply
ingrained in him she knew he’d have to suffer amnesia to transform into a 9-5
guy, satisfied spending his evenings in front of the TV with a cold beer in one
hand and her in the other.

“You don’t know
Evan the way I do. You just see one side of him.”

“I’ve known that
man my whole life,” Alisa said. “There’s nothing you can tell me that I don’t
know.”

“Same goes for
me,” Bri and Anna said, almost in unison. The women looked at each other and
laughed.

“You don’t know
the man I fell in love with, the man who would have done anything to make me
happy. I see what you guys have,” she said, looking at Lena, Alisa, and
Brianna. “I used to have that with Evan, but somewhere along the way, we lost
it and there was no way to get it back. He didn’t even seem to want to try.”

“Maybe not then,”
Alisa said. “But he does now.”

“Only because he
doesn’t have me anymore.” She took a sip of her champagne, trying to blink back
the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. “How do I know that even if I
did give him another chance, he wouldn’t turn into the same guy who broke my
heart a few months down the road?”

“There are no
guarantees in life,” Bri said, reaching for her hand. “But I honestly believe
Evan has realized the mistakes he’s made.”

“That’s just it,”
Erika said, getting to her feet. She set her glass down on the small table
beside her chair. “There are no guarantees, and I’m not willing to take that
kind of risk again. I’m sorry if that’s not what y’all want to hear, but as my
friends, I’d really appreciate it if you could respect my decision.”

Evan was running
late getting to the airport thanks to a conference call that took longer than
he expected. Thankfully, they were taking Titan’s jet, which meant it wouldn’t
take off until he was on board.

He rounded the
corner and stopped short when he saw one unwelcome face in the small crowd of
friends and family.
What the hell…?
He came up behind Erika and gripped
her upper arm. “Can I have a word with you?”

The color rose in
her cheeks as she smiled at the bridal party. “Will you excuse us for just a
minute? This won’t take long, ladies.”

“Take your time,”
Lena said, winking at Evan. “We don’t mind waiting.”

He took Erika
around the corner, away from inquisitive eyes and ears. “You wanna tell me what
you were thinkin’ bringin’ him here?” He’d waited all week to see her again
only to find out she had the nerve to bring a chaperone so he couldn’t get
close enough to execute his plan.

“I don’t know
about yours,” she said, shaking his hand off her arm, “but my invitation said
plus one. Jeff is my plus one.”

“Minus one, if you
ask me,” he muttered.

She glared at him.
“Who are you to lecture me about bringing a date? I noticed Natasha is here.”

He rolled his
eyes, but couldn’t quash the surge of hope that swelled in his chest. She was
jealous of Natasha; that had to mean, despite her protests, she still cared.
“Natasha has a boyfriend, but he couldn’t make it.”

She raised an
eyebrow. “Really?”

His eyes scanned
her body, taking in the skin tight warm-up suit she’d obviously worn for
comfort. “Does that make you happy, knowin’ Natasha’s off the market?”

She lifted a
shoulder, feigning disinterest, but he knew her too well to be taken in by her
calm demeanor. “Why should I care who you date?”

He grabbed her
waist, pulling her body against his just enough to drive the air out of her
lungs in a gasp. “You care because just a few days ago, you shared my bed.” He
skimmed his lips across her jaw. “And I know you too well to think that was
just a casual one-night stand. You don’t do casual, remember?”

She pressed her
palms into his chest and tilted her head back to look at him. “How do you know
that? Maybe I’ve changed.”

He smiled,
enjoying her insolence. She definitely wasn’t the same sweet girl he’d fallen
in love with years ago. She was all woman now: confident, sassy, and sexy. And
there was no way he was letting her walk away again. He didn’t care what it
cost. No price was too great to keep her in his life.

“You weren’t
sleepin’ with Jeff the jackass. That tells me you wanna heat up the sheets with
only one guy, baby.” He brushed his lips against hers, smiling when her eyes
drifted closed. “We both know I’m the only guy you’ve ever wanted to be with.”

“God,” she said,
pushing him away. “You’re as arrogant as ever.”

He reached for her
hand and pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist. “Just confident… that we
were meant to be together. If I had any doubt about whether you still had
feelings for me, you erased it that night in my bed,” he whispered, flicking
his tongue over her pulse point.

“How many times do
I have to say this?” she said, trying to withdraw her hand. “I can’t be with
you anymore.”

“You can’t be in
love with the guy I was, I get that. He was a selfish asshole, but you’re gonna
fall in love with the guy I am today. You’ll see.” He would make it impossible
for her to resist him. By the end of this trip, her pseudo-boyfriend would be
riding coach and they’d be locked down in their private jet’s master bedroom.

“I don’t want to
hurt you again,” she said quietly. “And I don’t want to get hurt either. We
need to just let this thing go. Accept the fact that we had our time and now
it’s over.”

He ran his hand
over her hair, a flicker of a smile passing his lips. “Baby, we’re just gettin’
started. We have the rest of our lives to be together.” He took a step closer,
half-expecting her to retreat. “That’s what you wanted, what I believe you
still want, and that’s what I’m gonna give you.”

“No…” She shook
her head as a frown creased her brow. “That’s what I used to want, but that was
before. My life is different now. I’ve moved on.”

Evan smirked.
“You’ve moved on with that guy? Come on now, girl. We both know you chose him
for one reason only: he’s a safe bet.”

She crossed her
arms and tapped her flip flop against the carpet under her feet. “What the hell
do you know about it?”

“I know you…” He
leaned in closer, whispering, “I know what you need, and it sure as hell isn’t
him.”

“You’re so damn
sure you’re the only guy who could ever make me happy. You seem to forget you
had years to prove it and you failed miserably.”

Evan felt the
force of those words. She was right, and for once, he wouldn’t deny her claim.
He had to own his mistakes if he wanted her to believe he wouldn’t repeat them.
“I wasn’t man enough to give you what you needed back then. I can admit that.
But I am now.”

“Really? What’s
changed, Evan? You’re still at Titan all hours of the day and night from what I
hear-”

He pulled her
against him and brushed a kiss across her cheek. “You wanna know why? I go home
and look at your picture, fall asleep in the bed we used to share, and I…” He
pressed her hand against his chest so she could feel the steady beat of his
heart. “I miss you so damn much there are days it takes everything in me not to
drive by your work and plead with you to give me just one chance.”

A tear slipped
down her cheek and she quickly brushed it away. “I would’ve given anything for
you to love me this much when we were together, but you couldn’t. That damn
company was your first and only love and I know it still is.”

“No, it’s not,” he
whispered, knowing earning her trust again would take time. He had no idea how
valuable that was until he lost it, and now it seemed that was the only thing
he wanted money couldn’t buy. “I swear to you it’s not.”

“I can’t listen to
any more of this,” she said, taking a step back. “I know we have to spend the
next week together, and for Dom and Lena’s sake, I’m willing to try and get
along, but don’t push me or I will fight back, Evan.” She squared her shoulders
and looked him in the eye. “I’m not the same silly little girl who fell head
over heels in love with you. You can’t make me believe your lies just because
you whisper them in my ear in the heat of a passionate moment, and you can’t
buy my forgiveness with expensive jewelry.” She set a hand on her hip. “I’m
doing just fine on my own. In fact, I love my life exactly the way it is.”

He smiled at the
conviction he heard in her voice. Anyone else would have been fooled, but no
one knew her as well as he did. “I got that when you sent back everything I
ever gave you.” His smile slipped. He wasn’t that good of an actor. “I’m not
even gonna try pretendin’ that didn’t hurt like hell.”

“It wasn’t about
getting even, if that’s what you think,” she said, casting a glance at the
ground. “But I didn’t want any of those things. They reminded me too much of…”
She sighed. “The one thing I wanted. The only thing you weren’t willing to give
me.”

He held his
breath, knowing this would hurt more than any well-aimed insult.

“I just wanted a
simple gold wedding band.” Her eyes were shining when she looked up, but he saw
a sense of resolve that told him she’d made up her mind and he wasn’t going to
get what he wanted this time. “I needed to know that you wanted me and only me
for the rest of our lives.”

His throat was
thick with emotion when she started to walk away. “Erika, wait.” She looked
over her shoulder and the despair he saw in her eyes tore him apart.

“I can’t wait any
longer, Evan. It’s time for you to let me go, for good this time.”

***

Evan retreated to
the master bedroom as soon as they boarded the plane, and most of the other
passengers were already asleep when Jeff reached for Erika’s hand. She let him
comfort her because she needed a shoulder to lean on. She didn’t know why, but
she felt sad and lonely after her talk with Evan.

“Are you okay?” he
asked, kissing the top of her head when she leaned on his shoulder.

“Yes.” She sighed.
“No. I don’t know.”

“You must know
that a man who loves you would never hurt you this way, Erika. He just wants
you back because he can’t have you. If you gave him what he wanted, he would
revert to the same selfish bastard you walked out on.”

She knew he was
right, but admitting it still hurt. “I told him I’ll never take him back.” She
sniffled. “I’m not going to lie to you, Jeff. I still love him. I probably
always will, but I know I can’t be happy with someone like Evan. He’s too
driven, too ambitious. He puts his career above everything, and I don’t want to
be with a man like that anymore.”

“We could be so
good together,” he said, smiling down at her. “We have the same passion for
animals. We’re a great team at work. You know we could take that clinic to
heights your father never even imagined.”

It bothered her
when he belittled her father’s accomplishments. She was proud of the clinic her
father had built because she knew he poured his heart and soul into it. He
saved every patient he could, and when he couldn’t prolong their lives, he
consoled the pet owners with the patience and understanding of a friend, not a
doctor. “I like the clinic exactly the way it is. I’m not interested in
expanding.” She sat up, easing her hand out of his grip. “We have the clinic,
the grooming facility, boarding, doggie daycare, and the small retail store. I
couldn’t handle any more than that.”

“Maybe not alone,
but I’m more than willing to help you expand the business. We could hire more
people-”

She held her hand
up to silence him. “
We’re
not going to do anything. It’s my clinic. I
make the decisions, and I’ve already decided that I’m satisfied with things
exactly as they are. I work forty-five hours a week because I want to have time
for my charity, not to mention, a life. I don’t want to become the person I
used to condemn Evan for being. I love my work, but I don’t want it to be the
only thing in my life that matters.”

“You’re one of the
finest vets I’ve ever seen, Erika. I admire your gift with animals.”

“I appreciate
that.” She knew he was trying to soften her resolve, but it wouldn’t work. She
wanted to settle down and have a family some day and that wasn’t going to be
possible if she committed every waking hour to her business. She needed a
healthy balance, something she’d always pleaded with Evan to find. “But I’m not
going to change my mind, Jeff.” She withdrew a magazine from her carry-on and
turned on the overhead reading light. “If you have this great vision for a
different type of business, no one is stopping you from pursuing it.” Jeff was
a valuable member of her team, but she knew other vets out there would gladly
claim his job without telling her how to run her business.

They’d become
close during the past year and a half, and she’d come to rely on his support,
but she wouldn’t allow him to dictate how she should run her life or her
business. He was the one who convinced her that she’d already invested too much
time and effort in a relationship that was no longer working, and she was glad
she’d had his support to help her get through the break-up, but she was
stronger now. She didn’t need his advice about how to handle Evan. She knew she
could never go back to the way things were and she didn’t intend to.