Bumblestook: Book 1, The Accidental Wizard (33 page)

“What? That’s awful!” Farley exclaimed, horrified. “That’s not really true is it?”

“Son, I honestly don’t know. But I’ll tell you this much—I’m not willing to put it to a test. I’m in! Now, what’s the nature of this little adventure?”

“We’re
supposed
to be saving my parents,” Farley said, “but we haven’t gotten very far. First, there was this sort of shadow thing that followed me. Then, a really tall stranger broke into my house and started coming after me and I ran outside to get away. I tried to get back in to help my mom and dad, but Mr. Faire said, no, let Fiona’s uncle handle it—he’s like a special agent for the
government
, so we left. Then a tornado came and made a hole in the roof of our house and when we went back my parents were gone, and Fiona’s uncle too. That’s when we decided to look for them ourselves and we hid in the ranger station. Oh yeah,
then
we found out Yap and Tom could talk, and
then
Fiona heard a lady’s voice because of my knife and the peanut butter, and
then
there was this mountain lion—”

“Hey-ho, hold up there a sec! Back up, pardner. There’s something here I don’t quite get.
You
are Human, so naturally that means your parents would also have to be…” The Ranger
looked uncertain as to how to put it politely.

“Human.” Tom said flatly.

Ranger Gary seemed puzzled. “This is a Quest for
Humans
? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like you Humans just fine, especially the kids that visit the station, but I’ve never heard of a Quest that
revolves
around them. Are you
sure
?” Ranger Gary looked to Fiona, who looked to Farley.

“Well, we can’t say for
sure
because of the curse,” Farley said.

“There’s a
curse
?”

“Yeah, in the garden,” Farley continued. “There was this awful creature—it did something to Fiona’s rattle, so the Wizard couldn’t see her Quest, but Tom saw what happened and Fiona’s dad caught him, so now he’s gotta help us, and then Yap went to
my
house so Fiona’s uncle could watch over me—I don’t exactly know why—but anyway, the Wizard couldn’t see her quest, but then
I
thought—”

“Whoa, hey-ho! Who’s this uncle you keep talking about? What’s he got to do with all of this?” Ranger Gary asked shrewdly.

“My Uncle Bartholeumous,” Fiona replied. “He has Special Powers, from the President of the United States.”

“I know of a Bartholeumous,” the ranger said thoughtfully (ignoring the Bungaree shaking his head and waving frantically behind Fiona’s back). “That wouldn’t by any chance be Bartholeumous the
Bold
would it?” he asked (as the Bungaree put his head in his hands).

“That’s
him
!” Farley exclaimed. “That’s his
Magic
Name. He calls himself Bartholeumous the Bold when he does magic tricks, like my dad—” he broke off abruptly as understanding flooded in. “Hey, wait a minute! They’re
not
just tricks,
are
they—they’re
not
like my dad’s— they’re
Real
Magic, aren’t they
?”

“That’s right, Farley. Bartholeumous the Bold is one of the most powerful and respected Wizards of our time.” Ranger Gary looked at the boy speculatively. “And yet, he chanced putting a Gr-r-rog in your house, just to keep an eye on
you
, an ordinary Human boy. Now why is that I wonder…”

“Farley’s not ornirary! Barfolumous said Farley’s
special
,” Yap spoke up in his boy’s defense. “He c’n talk ta
rocks
!”

Farley’s ears turned red as he ducked his head.

Ranger Gary looked surprised. “Remarkable! I’ve heard of folks that share a marvelous rapport with animals and even plants, but
rocks
—now
that’s
a first!”

“It’s just something I can do,” Farley shrugged. “It’s not like magic or anything like that.”

“Well, I don’t know Farley, maybe it is some type of Magic. A
new
kind that hasn’t been seen before,” the ranger said seriously.

Tom smacked his furry brow with an open hand, as Farley’s eyes lit up like lightning bugs.

The Wizard continued, seemingly unaware of the effect his words were having. “Long ago, when our people lived openly beside yours, there were folks who thought the Human Race might develop their own particular brand of Magic—if given time to evolve. Of course, back then, most thought it was just a crackpot theory—you know, like Humans walking on the Moon.”

“But, a guy
did
walk on the Moon! I read about him in school,” Farley replied eagerly.

“My point exactly. So, who’s to say? Magic can be found in the most unlikely places. Perhaps it can even be found—” Ranger Gary leaned in toward the boy, staring intently into his eyes— “in
you
!”

Farley gasped and as his heart began to pound, loudly, like a drum; drowning out even the constant hum of the Earthbound. As he looked into the ranger’s eyes, an invisible force seemed to connect them, like a beam upon which their souls could travel, back and forth to visit. Ranger Gary’s blue eyes seemed to grow larger and larger, merging into a swirling whirlpool. Farley felt himself being drawn down, down, down, into its depths.

Suddenly, Ranger Gary groaned. He leaned back abruptly, shaking his head to snap the connection. For a moment he sat, head bowed and eyes closed; massaging his temples with his fingertips. Then, he shot the boy a curious look.

“Human you may very well be, but something else as well. I’ve never known a Meeting of the Minds Spell to fail on an
ordinary
Human,” he said ruefully. “May I ask what you used to counteract it?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Farley said innocently. “But, I’m sorry you got a headache. Maybe you should lie down.”

The Wizard laughed gruffly. “No, young fellow. I’m quite all right. Just a reoccurring pain, that’s all—from an old head injury. Sustained, in fact, on my very first Quest. There, it’s gone. Probably why the spell failed in the first place. Just bad luck it hit me when it did, right when you were the most vulnerable.”

“Uh, okay,” Farley said, not understanding at all.

“I don’t think you should be using spells on Farley,” Fiona counseled. (Not that she was worried for her friends safety—she’d known all along he wasn’t in any
real
danger—but it didn’t seem right, if they were going to work together.)

“I bow to the wisdom of the Hero of the Quest,” Ranger Gary replied. “No more spells on fellow members. But, I do have a request of my own to ask of young Farley, here.”

“Ask away,” Fiona said grandly.

“I’d like to see that trick you do with the rocks,” Ranger Gary said.

“Well, there’s not much to do. I just listen,” Farley explained. “I can hear them all the time, talking to each other. I don’t know why nobody else hears it.”

“What do they say? For instance, do they mind that we’re sitting on top of them right now?” Ranger Gary asked, patting the rock beneath him.

Tom and Yap looked down at the rocks upon which they sat, suddenly uncomfortable.

Farley just laughed. “Nah, they don’t even notice you. They don’t have feelings like that. They don’t care about us. We’re not even as important as
air
! They’re only interested in rock stuff, like earthquakes and something called ‘plates’ and a whole buncha other stuff I don’t understand. But some of them talk to me, cuz they know I can hear them. I don’t know why—it’s always been like that. Maybe Big Grey told them.”

“And who is this Big Grey?” Ranger Gary asked.

“He’s a rock—or
it’s
a rock, they don’t really have boys and girls. I just like to think he’s a boy, like me. He’s different from the rest. He’s my friend. Maybe cuz I grew up with him. He sits on my front yard, so I’ve known him since I was a baby,” Farley explained. “He introduced me to a whole
buncha
other rocks, so I have
lotsa
rock friends. Hey, that reminds me!”

He dug excitedly in his backpack, quickly pulling out the piece of Big Grey. “He gave me this—it’s part of him—so I could take him with me and talk to him wherever I go, but I didn’t get a chance to use it yet. We can try it now!”

Farley placed the triangular wedge of grey stone against the rock upon which he sat, while the others leaned in expectantly. They watched, as the boy frowned in concentration; mumbling something they couldn’t understand.

“What was that? Was it a spell?” Ranger Gary asked eagerly.

“Nah, it’s just Earthspeak,” said Farley. “Rock talk. Most of them don’t understand people talk, so I’m using rock talk with this guy—to get his attention.”

“Is it working?” Fiona asked (truth-be-told, a bit perturbed that she couldn’t tell for herself).

Farley nodded. “He’s warming up. It takes awhile. They’re kinda slow.”

Yap sniffed curiously at the rock beneath him, while Tom stretched out full length on his, scratching at its surface with a long curved nail. Ranger Gary drummed his heels on the side of his boulder, while Fiona sat, Indian-style, with her usual aplomb, on hers. They all waited for the rock to respond.

******************************

Big Grey had begun to gather its wits. It managed to focus several units of attention on the stone object imbedded in its substance. Its presence there was not as unusual as one might think, as many rock formations are made of such conglomerations. What was unusual, of course, was the method by which it had arrived.

The Newcomer sat at Big Grey’s center, glowing softly from some inner light, pulsating like a heart made of stone. It was not an irritant, for (as you know) rocks do not have the capacity to feel pain or discomfort. It did create a disruption in the flow of energy to that particular area, causing it to slow and go around the object.

Big Grey was aware that the Newcomer had been making a continuous effort to communicate, ever since it had arrived. Finally, the granite boulder mustered enough attention to respond. Primarily, the communication consisted of an exchange of data. The two had mutual interests; the boy and the Wizard. The Newcomer had an abundance of data about the Wizard, whereas Big Grey had a scarcity. The Newcomer knew next to nothing about Farley, while Big Grey had a wealth of information about the boy. Thus, information regarding Bartholeumous flowed readily from the Newcomer to Big Grey, as if to fill a void. Similarly, Big Grey’s Farley-data virtually spilled over into the Newcomer. Once the data had been fully exchanged on both ends, the flows stopped, the voids filled. Now, the process of evaluation could begin.

Slowly and methodically, as was its way, Big Grey compared each new piece of information; first against all previously stored information on the subject of Humans in general, then against all known data on Farley and Bartholeumous. It was a lengthy and time consuming process.

As the process of analysis neared its end, Big Grey began to form a picture of the Wizard’s true intentions toward Farley Bumblestook. Eventually, the rock being was certain as to what its next course of action should be.

Farley frowned and scrunched up his face, causing his ears to wiggle.

“It’s not going so good,” he said. “Big Grey’s not answering. The little rock—I call him Chip—he says Big Grey’s busy and he can’t get his attention.”

“Do we need to speak with this Big Grey before carrying on with the Quest?” Ranger Gary asked the Hero.

Fiona tilted her head, eyes narrowing in thought. “I don’t think so,” she replied. “The little rock knows everything the big one did, before it broke off. It should be able to lead us to Farley’s parents on its own. All we have to do is follow its directions.”

“And how do we do
that
?” the Wizard asked.

Farley stood up, holding the triangular wedge of rock so that its base spanned his palms and its narrow top rested on his fingertips. Tiny flecks of crystal, embedded in its granite composition, began to light up, one after the other. Starting from the middle of the triangle, they formed a line of light that moved as Farley turned. Finally, they lined up perfectly with the top point of the triangle. Farley stopped moving and looked to Fiona.

“We go down,” she pronounced with authority.

The children put on their shoes and socks and shouldered their backpacks, while Tom and Yap changed back to their animal forms. Then, following the granite compass, they headed downwards.

Time passed, an hour or so, as the odd little group hiked on, their path continuing to follow the stream. During this time, Ranger Gary had plenty of opportunities to witness Farley’s peculiar propensity for clumsiness; observing as the boy walked into trees, stumbled over small shrubs and tripped and fell, more than once, into the shallow water. Each time he emerged without so much as a scratch; grinning lopsidedly, with bits and pieces of twigs and leaves sticking to his clothes and hair.

Each time he’d call out happily, “I’m okay!” And each time, miraculously, he
was
! Unusual for a Human, the Wizard thought, but then a
lot
was unusual about this particular Human.

Then, quite suddenly, all of that changed.

Ranger Gary was bringing up the rear when, once again, Farley tripped and fell, headlong into a small bush. This time however, instead of the customary “I’m okay” he distinctly heard the child utter a surprised “
Ow
”!

At the head of the group, Fiona whirled about, eyeing the boy sharply. She took a step back to help him up, but Farley waved her off and stood up on his own.

“I’m okay,” he said finally, but without his usual enthusiasm. Fiona and the others gathered around him, unconvinced.

“Guess I’m just getting a little tired, that’s all,” Farley said, with a shrug.

“You’re hurt,” Fiona said, drawing closer.

“No, I’m
okay
—
really,
I
am
,” he replied, but his voice quavered.

“No, you’re
not
. You’re
hurt
,” the girl insisted, grabbing his left hand and turning it over for examination.