Bumblestook: Book 1, The Accidental Wizard (32 page)

“Then, you
do
believe me. I
did
hear someone,” Fiona said. “Do you know who it was?”

“It was Lady Rowena, the Head Hero, I’m sure. Without her advice, no Hero could endure. There are too many rules for Heroes, to commit to memory. Impossible to remember them all, in an emergency. Rowena has the Power of Suggestion, or so I’ve heard it said. She can slip a reminder, right into your head.”

“How did she know I needed one?” Fiona asked.

“Magic,” Tom said simply.

“Hey, I know!” Farley suddenly exclaimed. “Fiona, I know what your Quest is.”

“You do?” Fiona looked to him hopefully.

“Now Farley, that’s something only a Wizard can tell. And even
they
need the proper spell,” Tom cautioned.

“No, listen! You said a Quest is about finding something,
or
some
one
. The reason we’re all here is cuz of my parents, right? I mean, we wouldn’t even be here at all, if they hadn’t disappeared. So Fiona’s Quest has to be about finding my mom and dad!”

Everyone looked expectantly to Tom, as he cocked his head to one side, mulling it over. The idea had merit, he admitted to himself, absent-mindedly stroking his whiskers. Although, he could not
quite
figure out how finding Farley’s parents would be of any benefit to The People. There was something very odd here. It had to do with this strange Human boy and his unlikely connection to Fiona. What was it the boy had said about that darned, blue rattle…

An earsplitting cry shattered the morning air, bringing them all scrambling to their feet, hearts thumping wildly in their chests! Clutching each other, they peered fearfully through the thick pine curtain that sheltered them. Then, as one, they gasped and drew back; a mountain lion crouched, not ten feet away, eyeing the tree with extreme interest! Instinctively, they stepped slowly and quietly backwards, putting their backs against the trunk of the tree.

Suddenly, behind them, the broad, rough tree-trunk rippled and disappeared, to be replaced by a dark, rectangular opening! They stumbled awkwardly; jumping away, to avoid falling into that darkness. Then, a plump, freckled hand emerged, hastily beckoning them to step inside and they heard Ranger Gary’s voice, fraught with urgency.

“Come on, now, hurry up! A full-grown mountain lion is nothing to sneeze at!”

As if to illustrate his point, the mountain lion let loose another blood-curdling scream and slowly began to approach the tree, with frightening determination!

Grabbing their backpacks, the children and their pets scrambled through the mysterious doorway, into the tree.

When the tip of the Bungaree’s tail had disappeared inside, the dark doorway rippled once again; changing back into a tree trunk, just as the mountain lion brushed back the branches, with a powerful sweep of one huge paw. Its overly-large, glowing, golden eyes caught the final glimmer of magical, blue light, about the edges of the disappearing Doorway. Its lips drew back and the sides of its mouth curved upwards, displaying sharp white teeth in a very un-catlike smile. Then, the big cat let out a peculiar bark (like a short, sharp laugh) and let the branches fall back into place.

Whirling about, the odd creature leapt away, with a fluid flick of its unusually long tail.

The nature of a rock being lends itself to scholarly, detached observation, rather than vigorous pursuit of knowledge. In Human terms, such a
person
would be found sitting on a beach, quietly observing the ebb and flow of the tides, leisurely soaking up the sights and sounds of the coastal environment, casually taking notes or sketching; certainly
not
dashing into the waves with a net, furiously digging in the sand, or eagerly overturning rocks! Such physically aggressive research was simply not the way of the Earthbound.

Constantly in contact with others of their kind nearby (and, through them, all other Earthbound) rock beings spend their daily existence monitoring the various streams of data, flowing their way. To these, they add their own perceptions of the minute changes taking place in their vicinity (both atmospheric and geological) before passing it along with the rest. They are capable of dozens of such exchanges at a time, thousands in a day, in much the same manner as we blink our eyes, or take a breath; no special thought or effort is required.

However, the Earthbound are not mere machines meant for the gathering, conducting and storage of data! Though ponderously slow, they are capable of independent thought and able to pursue individual interests. For most of them, these interests have to do with creating complex mathematical formulas, used to predict planetary changes. This type of activity is well suited to them; requiring deep, prolonged, deliberate thought, but no actual action.

As a Humanologist, Big Grey’s interests were quite different. Its close association with Farley had made for some interesting and unusual changes, in its thought processes and behavior. In the past few years, it had focused more and more of its free attention on researching Humans; neglecting other projects (some of which had been in progress for eons).

On this particular day, by staying in constant contact with the Earthbound of the mountain path, upon which Farley trod, Big Grey was able to monitor his every footstep. By now, it had abandoned all other projects; concentrating its efforts solely on the exact whereabouts and circumstances surrounding the Human boy. As it diverted more and more attention to tracking Farley, its participation in the Earthbound data stream slowed to a mere trickle. Its awareness of the immediate surroundings was practically nil.

Then, when reports indicated that the boy had just
disappeared
, the rock being experienced an unaccustomed jolt to its system. Its remaining units of free attention ground to a halt. As a result, it was completely unaware of the approach of Bartholeumous, until the Wizard was practically on top of it! This caused the rock being to sustain yet another jolt to its already overloaded system; leaving its thought processes thoroughly immobilized.

Big Grey made a conscious effort to gather and focus a few units of attention, but the process was as difficult as stirring thick mud with a stick. Had it still been able to process data, it would have (slowly and methodically) cross-referenced experiences and observations; eventually categorizing the unfamiliar sensation, as similar to the Human reaction to a severe shock.

It was, however, completely unable to do so.

Bartholeumous (dressed conservatively for the neighborhood in rust-colored cords, and a thick, navy sweater) slowly lowered his great bulk to the ground; kneeling down beside the granite boulder. Laying down his staff, he looked about surreptitiously, before reaching out to rap upon the broad, grey back with his large knuckles. He leaned in close.

“Big Grey, I presume?”

The Wizard frowned, tugging on his beard, as he surveyed the unresponsive rock. He huffed into his mustache as he came to a decision. Leaning in even lower, the bristling hairs of his mustache brushing against the rock, he attempted to communicate to the being within.

“I have come about a mutual friend, the boy, Bumblestook, and to plead for the release of the Water Spirit, Osheanna, whom I believe you hold captive,” the Wizard said.

“You should know, it is thanks to Osheanna that the boy is practically invulnerable. I fear, without the constant renewal of the Water Spirit’s blessing, our young friend may eventually come to physical harm.

As for myself, all that I have done and all that I have yet to do, is in service to Bumblestook. It is my solemn duty to protect and educate the boy, for I believe him to be a Human of Great Consequence. I understand you have reason to distrust me, but I hope to convince you of my sincerity.” He paused, eyes narrowing, fingers drumming on the side of the rock. “The problem, of course, has been
how
!”

Bartholeumous shrugged his mighty shoulders. “For Bumblestook’s sake, I must make the effort.”

He reached into his pants’ pocket, pulling forth an object made of polished stone. Six pieces of forest-green malachite and six of cobalt-blue lapis-lazuli, had been skillfully cut and intricately fitted together; forming a cube that was easily taken apart, but difficult to reassemble. The Wizard gazed at it fondly, as it lay cradled in the palm of his hand.

“I have brought you a token of my sincerity,” he said. “It was my Most Cherished Possession as a child. It has been with me ever since, usually in a pocket in my cloak. Perhaps, as it is made of stone, it will be able to communicate with you as I cannot and my true intentions can be made known.”

So saying, Bartholeumous set the object down upon Big Grey’s surface; pressing it lightly with his fingers. Beneath the cube, the granite rippled like water and the Wizard’s Most Cherished Possession sank into the stone, until it disappeared.

As the boulder’s surface became, once again, solid as a rock, Bartholeumous gave it an encouraging pat.

“Hopefully, the two of you will now engage in civilized conversation. I will accept the release of the Water Spirit as a sign of our mutual understanding. You, in turn, may hold on to my Most Cherished Possession for as long as you see fit—although, someday, I would like to have it back.”

Laying hold of his staff, he used it to stand; briefly brushing the knees of his pants with his fingertips, whereupon the grass stains quickly disappeared.

“Well,
that
, as they say, is that,” he remarked.

Then, without another word or backward glance, Bartholeumous turned and headed back to the garden of Lance and Olivia Faire and the Doorway that awaited him there.

*****************************************

Upon entering the tree, Farley stepped into a darkness so complete, he couldn’t tell if his eyelids were open or closed. Simultaneously, he felt a twisting sensation in the pit of his stomach and his belly button tingled. Suddenly, a roaring sound filled his ears while his eyes were blinded by a wall of pure light! As wet spray fell upon his face and a musty smell assailed his nostrils, he gradually became aware of a cascade of falling water, directly in front of him! Hastily, he took a step back, stumbling into someone behind him.

“Whoa there, young feller, mind the feet!” Ranger Gary said, helping to steady him. “Garamond the Grand, at your service. Gary for short. Or Ranger Gary, if you prefer. Don’t be afraid, kids! It’s just the Falls,” the man explained. “We’re right behind them. Best darned Doorway in the Park, if I do say so myself, seeing as how I helped set it up.”

The “doorway” reference was completely lost on Farley and Fiona, who looked about in astonishment. On the other hand, Tom and Yap seemed right at home; not at all surprised to find themselves standing behind a waterfall.

“Well, I’ll be—a Gr-r-rog and a Bungaree!” Ranger Gary, hands on hips, shouted over the roar of the Falls. “Should have guessed it yesterday, when I saw that extra curly tail of yours,” he added, shaking his finger at Yap. Next, he turned his attention to Farley.

“And
you
, young feller. Pulled the wool right over
my
eyes, you did! You’re mighty powerful for your age. You know, I never had so much as an
inkling
that you were one of The People—and I have a pretty strong sense about that sort-a thing. Never even guessed a fellow Wizard was under my own roof! Now, how do you suppose a young Wizardling like yourself was able to fool an old Mage like me?” He spoke jokingly, but his jovial demeanor was not matched by his eyes, which remained focused sharply on the boy’s face.

“He’s
not
a Wizard!” Tom shouted. “His name’s Farley Bumblestook, and he’s
Human,
cantcha tell? He doesn’t even know the difference between a spill and a spell!”

“Well, Master Bumblestook, Wizard or not, I’m pleased to meet you,” Garamond/Ranger Gary boomed, sticking out his hand.

Ever-polite, Farley reached out his hand as well. The ranger gripped it firmly, while looking him straight in the eyes, rather keenly. For a fleeting moment, Farley thought he seemed startled, but then the man smiled in a friendly manner and followed through with the expected handshake.

“Human, eh? Guess that explains it. But what’s a Human doing with a couple of Amorphae? I thought that sort of thing wasn’t done anymore.”

“We’re onna
Quest
!” Yap blurted out excitedly.

The ranger seemed taken aback. “
Really!
You don’t say. Tell you what, why don’t we step outside so we can hear ourselves think. Then we can have a nice, long chat.”

He led them out from behind the waterfall, down a steep mountain trail, till they found themselves in a pleasant, tree-shaded area. There, the waterfall poured itself into a welcoming little pool, before running off down a mountain stream. They all sat down on the large rocks bordering the pool. The children took off their shoes and socks to dangle their tired feet in the cool, gurgling water.

“Alright, you say you’re on a Quest,” Ranger Gary continued. “So—who’s the Hero?”

Tom waved one arm grandly in Fiona’s direction. “Fiona Faire, Hero Extraordinaire!” he announced.

Fiona’s chin went up a notch, eyes sparking, as Ranger Gary looked her over.

“H-m-m,
Faire
is it? Well, you have the look of a Hero, I’ll grant you that,” the man said, eyes narrowing. “And you’ve got yourself quite the famous name, although I think you’ll find it a bit of a challenge to live up to. You’re younger than most, but who’s to say it can’t be done? What’s your training level?”

“I haven’t had any yet,” Fiona replied evenly, holding his eyes with her own.

“Fishfeathers! How’d I get pulled into
this
one,” the man asked, of no one in particular. He looked around at the rest of the odd little group, all of whom watched him expectantly.“Well, there’s no going back
now
. Once you’re in—you’re in! You know what they say; ‘A True Quest will not be denied. For every one that’s tried,
two
have died’!”