BUCKED Box Set: A Bull Rider Western Romance (37 page)

My father stared at me for a long moment
before he answered, “Ashley, are you all right? You seem like something is
wrong.”

His hard stare burned into me so deeply that
I felt as though he was making me bear my soul to him. I had no idea what I
should do. I was nervous and besides all of my internal struggles, outwardly,
all I felt was eyes bearing down upon me. It was seriously nerve-wracking and I
wished that I could just disappear, so that the sensation of having all of my
secrets revealed would go away.

However, through the sensation of fear and
worry I found the strength to answer in a calm and collected voice. “No, Dad.
I’m fine. Everything is all right. I just…haven’t woken up fully yet. I’m still
a little groggy.” I once again tried an innocent expression.

My father stared at me.

“Yeah, sure. Thanks for the visit, I
guess.”

Mayday!
Mayday!
I thought, hoping that the cold sweat that I felt
developing on my brow, along with my racing heart and pulsing blood was not as
noticeable to them as it was to me. I swallowed hard and to cover that up I
spoke. “I’m sorry…I’m perfectly fine. It’s just…I’m not very hungry and to be
honest, the smell of the food is making me a little bit sick.”

Oh
God,
I thought as my mind moved itself right to the major, immediate concern that I
had about having sex and hoped that my father and stepmother’s mind did not go
there quite as easily as mine did.

I thought about what my best response
would be, but since every time I opened my mouth I seemed to sink myself deeper
into trouble, I didn’t say anything more.

I knew it wasn’t the food, or pregnancy
that was making me sick, it was just the pressure of their eyes and the weight
of my secret, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t cause me to wonder uneasily.

“Are you sure? I could make you something
light on your stomach,” Theresa offered in a fashion that made me feel more
like a guest than a family member.

I shook my head and stood up. Even though
I had intended to eat with them, I knew now that wasn’t going to work. I just
continued my new goal of getting away from them. “No thank you. I think I just
need some air.”

Without waiting for a response, I made my
way out of the kitchen and out to the back of the house.

I knew that I needed to be alone for a
little while to figure things out. All I needed to do was calm down and figure
out the extent of the damage done.

By the time I hit the beach and smelt that
salty air, I knew I had to take stock of what had happened, accept it and
figure out exactly what my next move should be.

That
shouldn’t be so hard,
I thought, but felt that I might be
underestimating the extent of my own paranoia.

Chapter
28

Tyler

I awoke with a groan as I pulled my arm back
under me, realizing it was cold.

However, my eyes popped open and I looked
around my bed, still partially blind, considering I barely had any idea who I
was, before I started searching for someone else.

“Fuck,” I muttered to myself as I sat up,
realizing who was missing. I held my head in my hand as I thought back to the
night before.
Why didn’t I kick her the
hell out?
I thought, knowing full-well the rule about having women in my
bed.

They were always welcome to enjoy the
thrills that I had to offer, but there wasn’t a bitch alive who I was supposed
to be comfortable spending the whole night with. I wasn’t a one-night stand
kind of guy, even with the women that I was interested in pursuing again. I was
more like a one hour after sex and your ass had better be out of my bed kind of
guy; and an hour was reserved for those who I didn’t want to piss off.

It
would have been so damn easy!
I told myself as the
possibilities flowed freely through my mind.
Her room is right down the fucking hall!
“What possessed me to…?” I
didn’t even need to finish the thought before I growled and tore the rest of
the covers off of my still naked form.

Even though I was disappointed in myself
for being such a pussy, just as I knew I would be, I couldn’t help but realize
that I felt good.

Regardless of how I had scored my
stepsister or the precautions that I took to ensure that there might be a next
time, I had still added that notch to my bedpost and I felt as though I was on
a roll.

I did wonder why I had slept so late, but
figured it was the strange idea that there was a woman in my bed that made me
break yet another of my rules.

Still, broken rule or not, the pride I
felt for myself far surpassed the disappointment for not being able to adhere
to the rules of successful fucking that I usually held myself to.

When I walked downstairs, I felt even
better than I did when I first woke up.
To
hell with the rules.
After all, you
break everyone else’s rules, why not a few of your own?

“Good morning, Tyler,” my mother said.

“Hi Mom…” I answered, waving as I passed
the two of them with breakfast plates still in front of them, but long
consumed. I guess they were just sitting there staring aimlessly into one
another’s eyes like losers. I didn’t understand what the attraction was. Seriously,
they were both bat shit crazy. How could they stand each other?

I thought about just leaving and I
probably should have, but before I could stop myself, I felt my body pivot back
around and my voice ask, “Have either of you seen Ashley?”

“This morning,” my mother answered,
smiling as though she was hopeful of something. I hadn’t the faintest clue as
to what though and chances were, I would probably prefer to keep it that way.
“She wasn’t feeling too good so she left to get some air.”

I nodded and moved to leave, but just as I
began to grasp the escape from the clutches of this house, into freedom, I
heard my stepfather’s voice behind me.

“Hey, Tyler, is everything okay with
Ashley?”

I stopped and momentarily wondered what
the hell was going on. I figured I was being paranoid, considering there was no
way they could have found out already. And even if they did, who gave a shit? I
certainly didn’t.

Still, at the question I felt my shoulders
tighten with nervousness and I thought about making a run for it. After all, it
wouldn’t be the first time that I had completely ignored that dweeb, but
considering the circumstances, I quickly decided that I should probably rethink
my first idea. So, once again, I pivoted around and purposefully made myself
look menacing, before I shrugged the comment off by saying, “Dude, how the hell
would I know? Mom just told me where she was. We didn’t have a damn therapy
session or anything last night.”

“She just seemed a little stressed this
morning and I thought she might have mentioned it to you?” Her father raised
his eyes to me in a serious manner. At first, I thought once again that he knew
something that he shouldn’t but I quickly deduced that he was just trying to
get me to think he knew something; that is if there was anything to know, which
there fucking wasn’t.

So I just went with my instincts and
answered, “Yeah, well, to be honest with you, I wasn’t even with Ashley last
night. I went out with friends of mine. That’s why I was looking for her.
Someone thought she knew her and I wanted to ask about it.”

Her father nodded and answered, “All
right, thanks,” Then, after a pause, he added, “She probably does know them.
Our family has been friendly with the people in this town for years…since she
was a little girl. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if she knew them.”

I wasn’t sure what to say. I certainly had
not needed the damn family history, but whatever. I didn’t know what else to
do, so I just answered, “It’s cool. I’ll head out to find her myself.” With
that I left, so that I wouldn’t have to be subjected to another dragging,
pointless conversation. I didn’t know why my family insisted to try to make
friends with me. It wasn’t worth it. I didn’t want to make friends. I wanted to
make a reputation.

Family had just become important to my
mother because it was convenient for her. However, after years of having
nothing but cruel things to say about the man who fathered me, not to mention
that I was the one who killed him, family seemed like an impossible, hurtful
prospect.

I refused to let anyone in. Even though I
had my moments when I thought that having a family and being a normal person
might be nice, there were far more moments when I was sure it wouldn’t be.
Having family or anyone close to you on a level of mutual care only set me up
for disaster.

Yet, even as I was thinking about this, I
still found myself making my way toward the beach in order to catch a glimpse
and possibly talk to my stepsister.

As soon as I walked up over the dunes I
saw her. It looked as though she had already muscled her way to the front row
of the beach, or she had staked her claim here just in time.

Dammit,
she’s beautiful
I
thought, before I shook the feeling out of my mind. What bothered me about this
whole situation was that although I found Ashley hot and sexy, like I found a
lot of women, I also found her beautiful in a way that I had never noticed a
woman before. I hated the thought, but the closer I grew to her, the more
prevalent that thought seemed to become. It sucked.

Still, for longer than I cared to admit, I
stood behind her, with her unaware that I was there, so that I could take in
her beauty and grace. I felt a connection to her and I absolutely hated it. I
didn’t want to have any kind of feeling toward her, besides the feeling of the
two of us lying naked together, fucking our brains out. That was the only
sensation that I wanted from this bitch and then when I was done, I wanted to
be able to walk away.

We were step-siblings, after all, and to
have any kind of feeling for one another just wouldn’t be right.

Yet, there was still a sensation that
arose inside of me that made me think that we might be able to amount to
something more. There was always the idea that we would be able to do whatever
we wanted without any consequence one of these days. After all, my stupid
mother would probably take her father for everything that he was worth one day
and then we would no longer be one big happy fucking family. Then, we would be
able to do what we wanted, without connection.

She
might hate me then too.
I thought, angry at how much I gave
a shit.

Shaking away the thoughts that I didn’t
want to have, I forced myself to get back in my game, just before I ran up
behind her, ready to lay on the player’s charm; no strings attached and no
mercy. That’s what I was supposed to be all about and there was no time like
the present to get back to my ultimate goals.

Chapter
29

Ashley

The beach was starting to help. The new
day was already sunny and warm, while the waves crashed easily and almost
methodically. I listened to them for a long time and tried to clear my mind.

The sand that was finding its way around
and through my toes as my feet sifted into it was beginning to warm up and the
sounds of the ocean were beginning to be drowned out by families arriving for a
day of fun.

I didn’t mind though. I was used to the
crowds and the people. This was how you lived your life if you had a beach
house that backed up to the beach. There was no true privacy and even though
there were moments when you felt like you had the whole world to yourself, the
majority of the time you were never really alone.

Still, I felt far more at ease here than I
did inside the house. At least I could think and wasn’t expected to be social.

However, my feeling of freedom was fairly short
lived when just a little while after the tourists arrived, I felt someone come
up behind me and sit next to me.

“Good morning, Sunshine.” I heard the
familiar voice before I saw who it was and already, I was rolling my eyes.

“Please, go away,” I answered, narrowing
my eyes at Tyler before I turned my attention back toward the ocean.

“Oh, come on! What the fuck?” He exclaimed
and then lowered his voice as he reached his lips in closer to my ear before he
added, “What happened to the attitude you had last night. You couldn’t get
enough of me then.”

Disgusted and embarrassed, more because he
insisted on spelling it out then of what I had actually done the night before,
I glowered at him. “I don’t want to talk about it!”

“Well,” he said as he leaned his muscular
arms back behind him and stretched out, so that I could see the virile man that
sat next to me in all of his sexy, alluring glory, “I wasn’t going to mention
it, but since you seem so bothered I didn’t think it was right to ignore your
distress.” He beamed at me, ignoring the fact that I continued to scowl at him.

Tyler was only wearing a bathing suit,
which seemed wrong to me, even though we were on the beach in the middle of
summer.