Brothers (66 page)

They quickly pinched themselves, and then Yanker Yu asked Popsicle Wang, "Did it hurt?"

Popsicle Wang shook his head nervously. "No, it didn't."

Yanker Yu also became nervous. "I didn't feel it either."

Baldy Li laughed uproariously, shouting, "I'm laughing so hard my belly hurts. You didn't pinch yourselves hard enough. Give me your hands; I'll pinch them for you."

Yanker Yu and Popsicle Wang extended their hands to Baldy Li, who gave them both a fierce pinch, making them cry out in pain: "Ouch!"

Yanker Yu was overjoyed and said to Popsicle Wang, "It's real!"

Popsicle Wang was even more pleased. He extended his hand to Yanker Yu, saying, "Mine is even bleeding."

With their big mouths, Yanker Yu and Popsicle Wang functioned as the town's radio broadcast station. After their bumper crop, they both eagerly told everyone about how they had struck it rich. Everyone
became extremely envious, and when Blacksmith Tong, Tailor Zhang, and Little Scissors Guan heard, they fell into a deep funk. Those days, Tailor Zhang and Scissors Guan met every day to complain about Blacksmith Tong, regretting that they hadn't invested in Baldy Li's new enterprise. Under their repeated retellings, the story eventually mor-phed into Blacksmith Tongs having prevented them from investing, and they became convinced that if it hadn't been for his interference, they would now be as impressive as Yanker Yu and Popsicle Wang, or more so. In hindsight they both became as prescient as the legendary Three Kingdoms strategist Zhuge Liang, saying that they would have sold off their possessions and invested the resulting money in Baldy Li's scrap business if it hadn't been for Blacksmith Tong.

Tong knew those two bastards were getting together every day and cursing him, but he pretended not to notice. He sat in his shop and also regretted his missed opportunity, thinking that the first time he invested when he shouldn't have and the second time he failed to invest when he should have. Blacksmith Tong sat rubbing his fists together, thinking he must have been blind, and venting his frustration on his ten fingers.

Mama Su was also regretful. The second time Baldy Li had set off from Liu Town, he had asked her if she wanted to invest; Mama Su had thought about how she hadn't been to the temple in a long time, so had shook her head and declined. Later, every time she recalled this, she would sigh, thinking that if only she had gone to the temple to burn incense, she would definitely have invested. She told everyone she encountered, "I hadn't burned incense at the temple, and that's why things didn't work out for me."

After returning from Japan, Baldy Li realized that his scrap business had reached its peak and would have nowhere to go but down. Therefore he decided to develop some new enterprises. First he opened a clothing factory, and in memory of old times he appointed Tailor Zhang to serve as his technical deputy director. Tailor Zhang was extremely grateful. With a tape measure draped around his neck, he conscientiously oversaw the quality in the workshop, being always the first to come to work in the morning and the last to leave in the evening. After the clothing factory started to enjoy some success, Baldy Li redoubled his efforts, opening two restaurants and a bathhouse and even dabbling in real estate. When it came time, at the end of the following year, to distribute dividends again, Yanker Yu and Popsicle Wang did indeed
receive one hundred thousand and fifty thousand yuan, respectively. This time, however, they weren't surprised but, rather, acted as if they were expecting it. When they arrived, they each brought a travel bag and, while stuffing the bags full of bills, they appeared as relaxed as if they were filling a rice jar with rice.

Baldy Li sat in his chair watching Yanker Yu and Popsicle Wang as they calmly stuffed one pile of bills after another into their travel bags. He was very satisfied with their attitude and complimented them. "Both of you have matured."

Yanker Yu and Popsicle Wang laughed reservedly and calmly sat down. Baldy Li bowed his head as if lost in thought, then looked up and mused, "It is said that
a tradesman walks while a mogul sits.
In other words, only when your business dealings have reached the point where you can trade while staying put can they be considered as having reached their maximum potential, and only then can you be considered a major player in the business world. If you have to run around yourself, then you must be engaged in only small deals—meaning that you're a mere tradesman."

Baldy Li told Yanker Yu and Popsicle Wang that his family of businesses kept on growing: He was still pursuing his scrap business and hiring more and more workers for his clothing factory, even as his two restaurants and his bathhouse were booming, and he also had several ongoing real estate projects. As a result, he spent every day running around like a chicken with its head cut off. He said that for now he was still okay, but that in the future, when he had forty or even four hundred businesses, he couldn't possibly manage even if he bought himself an F-16 fighter plane for transportation. He had thought that he had become a major player in the business world, but now he had come to realize that he was still a salesman on the go. Baldy Li then stood up and announced that he had decided to be a sitting mogul, establishing a holding company modeled on the Qin emperor's unification of China. He would bundle his various businesses into his holding company, then simply sit in his office and trade from there, using a centralized model to do business and only occasionally going to visit his various businesses in person. When Baldy Li saw Yu and Wang nodding enthusiastically, he asked them, "Do you know why the first Qin emperor unified China?"

The two looked at each other and shook their heads. "We don't know."

"It was because," Baldy Li said proudly, "that bastard wanted to get into some serious big business. That bastard didn't want to be a mere traveling salesman any longer but instead wanted to be a seated mogul."

Yanker Yu and Popsicle Wang were stirred by Baldy Li's grand vision. They asked him, "After you become a mogul, what will become of us?"

"You will be shareholders and trustees in my holding company." Baldy Li pointed at himself and said, "I will be the chairman of the board of directors and the company president."

Yanker Yu and Popsicle Wang looked at each other and laughed, and Popsicle Wang asked Baldy Li, "Will we have trustees’ business cards?"

"Of course." Baldy Li was feeling generous. "And if you want another position, we could consider also appointing you vice president."

"Yes, absolutely!" Yanker Yu cried out, and said to Popsicle Wang, "The more titles, the better."

"Of course." Popsicle Wang nodded, then asked Baldy Li, "Are there any other positions you could give us?"

"No." Baldy Li grew angry. "How could there be so many positions for you?"

Sensing Baldy Li's annoyance, Yanker Yu quickly nudged Popsicle Wang and chastised him, saying, "You shouldn't be too greedy."

After assuming their new titles, Yanker Yu and Popsicle Wang starting distributing their new business cards even faster than Baldy Li. They would stand in the middle of the street handing them out to everyone who walked by, as if they were handing out sales flyers.

Blacksmith Tong and Little Scissors Guan also received Yu's and Wang's business cards. After Tailor Zhang threw in his lot with Baldy Li, Little Guan found himself with no friends left and with no choice but to renew his friendly alliance with Blacksmith Tong. With Yanker Yu's and Popsicle Wang's name cards in hand, Little Guan remarked to Blacksmith Tong that those two bastards were really letting their petty successes go to their heads, to the extent that even the town's chickens, ducks, cats, and dogs must have received their cards by now.

The intelligent and capable Blacksmith Tong was the first person in Liu to follow Baldy Li's lead into entrepreneurial wealth. Seeing that the people of Liu were doing better than ever and that even peasants living in the countryside were becoming increasingly wealthy, he realized that there was no future in being a blacksmith. Therefore, he
stopped making cleavers for the townspeople and sickles and hoes for the farmers, and suddenly one day his entire blacksmith shop was gone, having been transformed into a specialty store selling all sorts of cutlery.

Blacksmith Tong didn't smoke or drink, and he worked the counter energetically. His ironworker hands may have looked rough and clumsy, but he could count piles of cash faster than a bank teller. Rapidly licking his finger and counting the bills, he looked as if he could give a banks automated bill counter a run for its money.

Once Blacksmith Tong opened his cutlery shop, Little Scissors Guan s customers began to dwindle. Scissors Guan became very angry. Feeling that Blacksmith Tong had destroyed his business, he vowed to break off all relations, and once again their friendly alliance was destroyed. As business at Blacksmith Tongs cutlery shop boomed, Scissors Guan lost all his remaining customers, until finally he had no alternative but to close down his shop and simply roam the streets every day. He would frequently run into Yanker Yu and Popsicle Wang, who were similarly wandering aimlessly, and the three of them would then hold meetings like in the old days. Scissors Guan would vehemently curse Blacksmith Tong for first discouraging him from investing in Baldy Li's business and then stealing his livelihood and forcing him to close the knife-sharpening stall, which had been in his family for three generations, leaving him no recourse but to roam.

Yanker Yu and Popsicle Wang sympathized with Little Guan's predicament, and Wang suggested, "Why don't we go to President Li and ask him to give Scissors Guan a job?"

"Why ask President Li?" Yanker Yu replied. "We are both vice presidents. We might not be able to offer anything else, but we should at least be able to arrange for him to serve as a doorman."

"You want me to be a doorman? Fuck that!" Little Guan was enraged when he heard Yanker Yu s suggestion. "If it had not been for a minor mistake in the beginning, I would now be a trustee and vice president like yourselves, and furthermore would have been ahead of you in line."

Little Guan left in a huff. Popsicle Wang looked at Yanker Yu in astonishment, and Yu sniffed disapprovingly, "That was a classic case of
the dog biting the hand that feeds it."

Little Guan finally made up his mind that if he could no longer get by in Liu Town, he might as well go out into the world to seek his fortune.
He remembered the first time Baldy Li traveled to Shanghai and lost their entire investment. The second time, however, he went to Japan and made a fortune. Little Guan decided that if he was going to go away, he should go as far away as possible.

The spring flowers had bloomed, and as Little Guan determinedly walked down the street to the bus depot carrying one bag and dragging another, his father hobbled pitifully behind him. Little Guan had told everyone who would listen that he was going to travel farther and see even more of the world than Baldy Li ever had and had sworn that by the time he returned he would be richer in experiences and wealthier than Baldy Li. Old Guan couldn't keep up with him and fell farther and farther behind. He beseeched his son not to leave, calling out hoarsely, "You are not fated to be rich. Others might be able to make a fortune by going out into the world, but you certainly won't."

Little Guan paid his father no heed and energetically waved goodbye to the people of Liu. Everyone assumed he was going to Europe or America, and they shouted their congratulations, asking where he was going first. Little Guan's reply, however, greatly disappointed them: "I'm first going to Hainan Island."

They replied, "But Hainan Island isn't even as far as Japan."

"It's true that it's not as far as Japan," Little Guan noted, "but it is much farther than Baldy Li went the first time he left Liu, when he went to Shanghai."

Little Guan boarded the bus and was about to depart when Old Guan finally caught up. Grasping his walking stick with both hands, he watched as the bus drove away in a cloud of dust. With tears running down his cheeks he cried out, "Son, if you are fated to have only fifteen ounces of rice in this life, then even if you go away to seek your fortune, you still won't end up with a full pound."

Baldy Li also took his leave from Liu Town. Headed for Shanghai, he was wearing his usual tattered clothing as he made his way to the bus depot. Following behind him was a young man carrying his bags like an attendant. When people saw them, they asked who the youngster was, and Baldy Li replied that it was his driver. The crowds tittered—"So Baldy Li has hired himself a driver but doesn't even have a car"—and reported that they saw Baldy Li and his driver board the long-distance bus to Shanghai.

Baldy Li returned several days later. This time he didn't take the bus but, rather, rode back in a red Santana sedan he had bought in Shanghai.
The driver drove Baldy Li's car into Liu Town and stopped in front of a department store. When Baldy Li emerged from his sedan, he was wearing a black Armani suit, having thrown away his tattered clothing while in Shanghai.

No one recognized Baldy Li when he first stepped out of his sedan. Everyone had grown accustomed to seeing him in his old and tattered clothing, and for him to suddenly be sporting a fancy Armani suit threw everyone for a loop. Furthermore, in those days only party leaders had sedans, so everyone speculated avidly about which important personage he might be. They felt that his shiny bald pate looked familiar, but they couldn't quite place it. Was he a TV actor? A high-level cadre from the provincial capital? Just as they were concluding that he must be a party leader from Beijing, the infatuated idiot, still wearing his watch set to Greenwich Mean Time, wandered over and called out in a ringing voice, "Director Li."

The crowds were stunned, marveling, "So it's actually Baldy Li!" Someone added, "This person does look like Baldy Li—in fact, they are virtually identical!"

CHAPTER 53

L
IU TOWN
was turned upside down. The big-shot Baldy Li and County Governor Tao Qing now spoke as one and jointly announced that they were going to tear down the old Liu Town and build a new one. Everyone said that this was a classic case of collusion of business and government, with Tao Qing providing the official documents and Baldy Li providing the capital and labor. They demolished one street after another, gradually transforming the face of the entire town. For five full years, Liu Town was covered in dirt and dust from dawn to dusk. Everyone complained that they were inhaling more dust than oxygen and that the layer of dirt permanently caked on their necks was thicker than a scarf. They said that Baldy Li was like a B-52 bomber, carpet-bombing the formerly beautiful town. A few educated townspeople became more embittered than the rest; they remarked that the classic novel
Romance of Three Kingdoms
had a scene that was set in Liu,
Journey to the West
had a scene and a half, while
Water Margin
had two entire scenes—but now Baldy Li had demolished the town and its landmarks.