Brothers (55 page)

Mama Su heard their oaths and blanched with fear. Upon hearing that Tailor Zhang planned to slice off Baldy Li's head, she took him at his word. But glancing at his thin and refined arm, she couldn't help but worry. "Baldy Li's neck is as thick as an ordinary person's thigh. Are you sure that you can slice through it?"

Tailor Zhang stared at her in surprise. Upon further reflection he decided that he wasn't sure that he could and replied, "I wouldn't necessarily cut off his head."

"If you don't cut off his head," Little Guan yelled, "you should at least slice off his balls."

Tailor Zhang, however, shook his head, saying, "I'm not capable of such a dirty trick."

CHAPTER 42

T
ONG, ZHANG, GUAN, YU, AND WANG
were all true to their word, and from that point on, every time they ran into Baldy Li in the street, they would pummel him mercilessly. Just as a writer is known by his distinctive turns of phrase, a boxer is defined by the turn of his fist. Each of them, therefore, pounded Baldy Li in his own distinctive way. Blacksmith Tong, for instance, would raise his hammerlike fist and slam it into Baldy Li's face with such force that Baldy Li would stagger backward. Tong would then swagger away, staring straight ahead, never hitting Baldy Li a second time. Thus Blacksmith Tong could be said to have a single-strike style. Meanwhile, whenever Tailor Zhang encountered Baldy Li, he would scream at him in a disappointed tone, "You, you, you!"—but by the time his fist reached Baldy Li's face, it had become merely a finger poking at it like a sewing machine needle. Thus Tailor Zhang could be said to have finger-poking style.

Yanker Yu, though, approached the task like a professional. He would always aim his tooth-yanking hand straight at Baldy Li's teeth, pounding them until Baldy Li's mouth was full of blood and Yu's fingers were covered with teeth marks. Yanker Yu would hold his hand as though he had just burned it, yelping fiercely but thinking that at least he had left Baldy Li rummaging on the ground for his missing teeth. The next time he saw Baldy Li, though, he would still have the same mouthful of pearly white teeth. Crying out in amazement, Yanker Yu would make Baldy Li open his mouth wide and would then stick his hand inside and count carefully, confirming that, in fact, there was not a single tooth missing. Therefore, every time Yanker Yu pummeled Baldy Li, he would cry out, "What excellent teeth!"

Little Scissors Guan, meanwhile, had a down-and-dirty street-fighting style. The first time they ran into each other, he kicked Baldy Li's feet with such force that Baldy Li doubled over, thereby exposing his crotch, whereupon Little Guan then kicked him hard in the balls. Baldy Li collapsed in pain, grasping his groin with both hands and rolling on the ground in agony. Afterward, whenever they met, Baldy
Li would immediately hold his legs together and protect his crotch with both hands. Little Guan repeatedly kicked Baldy Li's shins and then his thighs until he himself was covered in sweat, but still he couldn't get the man to open his legs. Little Guan would become increasingly frantic and, while kicking Baldy Li, would cry out, "Spread ‘em, damn it. Spread ‘em!"

Baldy Li would shake his head and, pointing at his precious treasures, say, "They have already been ligated. Why don't you have pity on them and let them be?"

Popsicle Wang's style was along the lines of using a blunt knife to saw flesh. Every time he encountered Baldy Li, he would burst into tears as if his parents had just died. He would then grab Baldy Li by the collar and pummel him again and again until Baldy Li knelt to the ground holding his head in his hands. Popsicle Wang then would place his left hand on Baldy Li's shoulder to support himself and pummel him with his other fist. He would continue in this manner for more than an hour, including a twenty-minute break in between to catch his breath. While resting, Popsicle Wang would wipe away his tears and say plaintively to the crowd, "Five hundred yuan!"

The five creditors beat Baldy Li from early spring straight through midsummer, until he looked like a wounded soldier returning from battle. Every time he appeared on the streets of Liu, Baldy Li would either have a swollen face or else be limping and cradling an injured arm. By this point Baldy Li's clothes were completely in tatters, his hair longer than Marx's, and he had a beard shaggier than Engels s. No one knew what had happened to the awe-inspiring Baldy Li of the past or why he had been replaced by this beggarlike figure. After his hair had grown down to his shoulders, the town's two Men of Talent gave him foreign rock-star nicknames. Writer Liu called him Beatle Li, and Poet Zhao called him Michael Jackson Li. The people of Liu, however, didn't get the point of these names. Having heard only of the Chinese pop star Teresa Teng, they had no idea who the hell the Beatles and Michael Jackson were. When they tried to find out from Writer Liu and Poet Zhao, the Men of Talent haughtily turned and walked away. Liu and Zhao were displeased with the general ignorance of the townspeople, and in walking away, they sought to rise unsullied from the muck. The townspeople therefore had no alternative but to ask Baldy Li himself. Although he had no idea who these rock stars were either, he enthusiastically responded to
the crowds questions with a shake of his head: "Dunno—they're foreigners."

Of the five boxing styles adopted by his five creditors, Baldy Li was most terrified of Little Scissors Guan's down-and-dirty style. Although Blacksmith Tongs punch was solid, accurate, and fierce, it was still a one-shot affair. And once Yanker Yu discovered how strongly rooted Baldy Li's teeth were, he began to punch with less and less force. Baldy Li grew most accustomed to Tailor Zhang's elegant and refined poking, with Popsicle Wang's blunt-knife style running a close second. Although Popsicle Wang would rain punches down on him nonstop, he was not very strong, and therefore the thick-skinned Baldy Li was not afraid of him. So the last thing he expected was that, as spring turned to summer, the most fearsome of the five would turn out to be Popsicle Wang. When summer came, Wang started hauling around his popsicle case on his back and holding a wooden cane in his hand. As he walked the streets hawking his popsicles, he would strike the case with his cane, and upon seeing Baldy Li, he would proceed to strike him with the cane as well. This traditional weapon caused Baldy Li unspeakable pain, and when it came down on his long-haired head, he would almost pass out. Once Baldy Li had been reduced to squatting with his head in his hands, Wang would simply sit on his popsicle case and continue pounding Baldy Li's head with his cane, all the while sighing repeatedly over the five hundred yuan he had lost and continuing to hawk his popsicles. In order to protect his head, Baldy Li had no choice but to sacrifice his hands. As a result, they became red and swollen, having been pounded by Popsicle Wang's stick until they looked like braised pig's feet. He would nevertheless continue protecting his head, reasoning that it was more valuable, since he would still have to rely on it to do business.

As Mama Su watched Popsicle Wang pounding Baldy Li with his stick, she finally couldn't take it any longer. She went up and grabbed Wang's hand, admonishing him, "If you act like this, you will eventually get your retribution."

Popsicle Wang stopped but cried pathetically, "My five hundred yuan!"

Mama Su said, "Regardless of how much money it was, you won't get it back by beating him."

When Wang walked off with his popsicle case on his back, Mama Su looked down at Baldy Li, who was kneeling on the ground cradling his
head in his hands. She couldn't help but nag him a little, "You know that they will beat you, so why do you keep walking around through the streets every day? Couldn't you just hide out at home?"

Baldy Li first looked up to ascertain that Popsicle Wang had left, then slowly lowered his hands from his head. He stood up and replied, "I get bored to death if I hide out at home." With this, he shook his long hair and walked away as though nothing had happened.

Mama Su shook her head and, sighing, said, "It's a good thing I went to the temple to burn incense and as a result didn't lose any money. Otherwise, I too would want to beat you."

Mama Su let out another sigh and, as Baldy Li walked away, exclaimed, "Burning incense is certainly effective!"

Poet Zhao watched Baldy Li repeatedly get beat up and noticed that he never fought back. At first Zhao was not sure what to make of this, but as he watched the five creditors beat Baldy Li to a pulp from spring straight through to summer, and how even the weakling Popsicle Wang could beat him to his heart's content for an hour, he felt a surge of courage. Remembering how Baldy Li had boasted that he would beat him until his true laborer's colors showed and completely discredit him in front of the entire town, Zhao thought to himself,
If I don't avenge that humiliation, how can I even consider myself a man?
He decided the time was right to avenge his loss of face.

That day, when Popsicle Wang finished beating Baldy Li and was walking away with his popsicle chest on his back, Poet Zhao happened to walk up. He aimed a few tentative kicks at Baldy Li, who was still lying on the ground holding his head. Noticing several onlookers walking back and forth, Zhao said loudly, "I thought this day would never come! Baldy Li has become Michael Jackson Li and has been beaten so badly that he doesn't even dare fight back."

Baldy Li lifted his head and shot Poet Zhao a look, as if he couldn't trouble himself to respond. Zhao took this to mean that Baldy Li was scared of him and therefore kicked him again and pronounced arrogantly, "Didn't you say that you wanted to beat me up? Why haven't I seen you do anything yet?"

Baldy Li slowly stood up, and Poet Zhao, now daring to go even further, gave him a shove. Zhao looked out at the passersby and crowed to Baldy Li, "Just try to move!"

Poet Zhao had just turned back from glancing at the passersby when he found himself face-to-face with Baldy Li's fists. Baldy Li used his
swollen left hand to lift Poet Zhao by the collar and his swollen right hand to pound Zhao's face. Before Poet Zhao even knew what was happening, Baldy Li had pounded his face to a pulp. Poet Zhao groaned, realizing that Baldy Li was still as ferocious as ever. He immediately knelt to the ground, but Baldy Li continued to rain punches down on him, intoning, "They beat me, but I don't fight back because I was the one who lost their money. However, I didn't lose your money, and therefore I'd be happy to beat you to death."

Although Poet Zhao was being beaten senseless, he heard Baldy Li's speech clearly and finally understood why he had not fought back before. Realizing that he was in serious trouble, he immediately let out his loud laborer grunts and moans, but Baldy Li continued beating him. Therefore, Poet Zhao had no choice but to say, between grunts and moans,

"They're out, they're out."

"What's out?"

Poet Zhao saw that Baldy Li had paused and therefore quickly grunted twice more, then grasped Baldy Li's hand and pleaded, "You hear my laborer grunts and moans? You've beaten them out of me."

Baldy Li laughed and said, "I hear them, but that's still not enough."

He lifted his right fist, scaring Poet Zhao so much that he sputtered out a few more grunts and moans and then added pathetically, "Congratulations, congratulations…"

Baldy Li asked, "Congratulations for what?"

"Congratulations for beating my laborer identity back to the surface."

With Poet Zhao speaking this abjectly, Baldy Li couldn't bring himself to strike him again. He lowered his fist and loosened his grip on Zhao's collar. Then he laughed as he patted Poet Zhao's shoulder and said, "Don't mention it."

With that, Baldy Li—after having been beaten to a pulp by his former partners for three straight months—finally reemerged on Liu's streets with his former swagger. The townspeople grinned as they watched Poet Zhao slink away, then noticed that Writer Liu was also standing in the crowd. Squinting, the onlookers watched Liu with one eye, and Baldy Li resting and panting on the ground with the other. Everyone remembered how Baldy Li had once beaten up Writer Liu, and the nostalgically minded among them hoped history would repeat itself. Everyone watched Writer Liu intently as they discussed Baldy Li: He had lost weight and been beaten black and blue by his five
creditors, so no one had expected that he would be able to beat up the healthy Poet Zhao as easily as an eagle grabbing a chick. Everyone looked at Writer Liu and concluded, "It is certainly true that
a starving camel is still bigger than a well-fed horse."

Liu understood the implication of what they were saying and recognized that they desired nothing more than to see him follow in Poet Zhao's footsteps. Flushing bright red, he considered turning around and leaving, but he knew that if he did, he would become fodder for everyone's after-dinner jokes. Determined to save face, Writer Liu had no choice but to stand there resolutely. The onlookers tried to egg Baldy Li on, but he merely sat with his back against a wutong tree
,
his stomach growling in hunger. He was in the process of swallowing his own saliva to assuage his hunger and seemed deaf to everyone's taunts. The onlookers then attempted to rile him, asking how Men of Letters could be so cowardly. They said that Poet Zhao's earlier obsequious expression made him worse than a traitor, and that he had not only lost face but had even caused his parents to lose face.

"He not only caused his parents to lose face," one of the onlookers added. "He even lost face on behalf of Writer Liu."

"That's right," the onlookers agreed.

Writer Liu's face became mottled with fury. He knew that these little bastards were simply trying to incite a fight, and cautioned himself that he must not, under any circumstances, act rashly and open himself up for another beating from Baldy Li. But with everyone staring at him, he felt it was necessary to come forward and say a few words. Therefore, he rose to the occasion, stepping forward and loudly agreeing with everyone, "Yes, Poet Zhao has lost face on behalf of all the Men of Letters in the world."