Broken World (17 page)

Axl nods, but before he can say anything
Winston interrupts. “We’re going to have to hit up the parking garages to find
a car. No other place in the city.”

“That shit’s gonna be rough,” Angus
says. “No electricity. Gonna be dark as hell in there.”

“We’ll need to take a pretty big group,”
I say.

The men turn and look at me like they
just noticed that I was standing there, and I suddenly sprouted wings.

Angus looks like he wants to spit, but
he doesn’t have his can. “You ain’t goin’, Blondie.”

I straighten my shoulders and meet his
gaze head on. “And why not? I’m a good shot and I sure as hell can’t chip in by
cooking or anything. This is the kind of stuff I’m good at.”

“It’s not safe out there,” Winston says.

“But it’s safe for you guys?” I snort
and take a drink. Sexist assholes. I’m not usually much of a feminist, but I
suddenly have the urge to punch Winston in the balls. “You’re going to need a
big group and I’m going.” I take another drink and turn away before anyone can
argue with me.

19

“YOU
AIN’T SO BAD, you know that Blondie?” Angus puts his arm around me while we
walk to the elevator. He’s drunk off his ass.

“I did know that,” I say, trying to
wiggle away from him. He’s persistent though, and we end up walking all the way
to the elevator with his arm draped over my shoulder.

I may be a little drunk—okay, really
drunk—but that doesn’t mean I want to be alone in a small space with Angus. I
glance over my shoulder, hoping to see Joshua or Jessica, or anyone else who
was playing cards with us in the restaurant. But no one else seems to be
coming.

“Too bad you got the hots for my little
brother. I could show ya what real man is like in the sack,” he says, leaning
closer to me than necessary. His hot breath reeks of alcohol and dip. Not a
good combination.

I roll my eyes and maneuver out from
under his arm when the elevator door opens. “I don’t have the hots for Axl,” I
say, stepping into the elevator. “We’re just friends. When he’s not being an
ass.”

Angus starts laughing, but it’s cut off
by a raspy cough that makes me shudder. He gives me a big smile and steps
toward me just as the elevator door closes. “In that case…”

I dodge out of the way just as he tries
to kiss me. “I don’t think so. Just because I’m not into him doesn’t mean I’m
into you.”

He turns and gives me a big grin. “The
pickin’s are slim, girl. You can’t be too choosy these days.”

Ugh. He has a point, but that doesn’t
mean I’m ready to jump in the sack with him. “I can still have standards.”

Luckily, it’s a short trip to the
eighteenth floor.

“Here we are!” I take off down the hall
to our room the second the elevator door opens.

Angus grunts and tries to keep up, but I
make it before him. And I have the key. The suite is dark when I step in and
people are curled up on the floor of the dining room and sitting area. The soft
sounds of their breathing fills the room.

Angus stumbles in behind me. I put my
finger to my lips. “Sleep it off, Angus,” I whisper.

I head toward the bedroom on the right
and he goes to the left. When I open the door, I try to make it as soundless as
possible. Axl and Emily are already in bed, and the guilt that squeezes my
insides nearly takes my breath away. I should have come back earlier.

Axl sits up. “She’s sleepin’,” he
whispers.

I put my finger to my lips again, then
strip down to a camisole and my underwear. The bathroom light is on, probably
so Emily doesn’t get scared, illuminating the bed. Emily is asleep on the right
side. Axl lifts the covers and motions for me to lay down on the left. Good thing
it’s a king size bed.

“You drunk?” he whispers when I crawl
in.

I nod and close my eyes. “Just a
little.”

“Angus drunk?”

“He tried to kiss me in the elevator.”

Axl swears. “Moron.”

I smile and open my eyes. Despite my
best effort, I can’t stop my gaze from going over his bare chest. It’s the
first time I’ve see him without his shirt on. He has a lily tattooed on his
right bicep, and I sit up a little so I can get a closer look. It’s all black
but very intricate. It’s actually really pretty.

“Got that for Lily, my high school
girlfriend. It was my first tat.” He laughs quietly. “Angus hated her.”

“Why?” I whisper.

“Probably ‘cause he didn’t get much say
in my life when she was ‘round. Angus likes to be in control, if you haven’t
noticed.”

I snort and quickly cover my mouth,
looking over toward Emily. She doesn’t move. I turn back toward Axl. “What
else?”

He sits up and turns, pointing to his
left shoulder blade where there’s a confederate flag. “Got that with Angus.
He’s got the same one.”

I roll my eyes. “That’s so cliché. You
know that, right?”

He shrugs, but I’m not sure if it’s
because he doesn’t know or he doesn’t care. He points to the guitar on his
other bicep. It has a rose twisted around it. “Got that for my mom. Ain’t sure
why. I was a ‘lil drunk and feelin’ bad for her, I guess.”

“Why a guitar?” I ask, looking closer at
it.

He smiles and it’s hard to tell because
it’s so dark, but I’m pretty sure his cheeks turn red. “She was a pretty big
Guns N’ Roses fan.”

I clamp my hand over my mouth and laugh.
“Is that why your name is Axl?”

“Could be worse,” he says. “She was into
AC/DC when Angus was born.”

I laugh harder and turn my face into the
pillow, so I don’t wake Emily.

“What ‘bout you? You gotta have some
tats.”

I roll over and lift my shirt so he can
see my lower back where I have a large purple butterfly tattooed.

“Tramp stamp?”

I roll back over and smile, not
bothering to pull my shirt down. Maybe it’s the alcohol or the fact that we’re
both half-dressed, but I’m feeling a little frisky. His eyes roam a little.
They stop on my stomach. He reaches out and flicks the silver ring in my belly
button, and his smile gets bigger. My heart pounds and my throat goes dry.

“Figures,” he says.

“That’s not my only piercing.”

I raise my eyebrows suggestively. When
he smiles and licks his lips, heat rushes through me.

“That right?”

I bite my lip. “My nipples.”

He laughs quietly. “You should get some
sleep.”

“What if I don’t want to sleep?” I
whisper.

He stops smiling and his stormy eyes
search mine. I chew on my bottom lip and my eyes move over his muscled chest to
his firm biceps and his broad shoulders. When did I start thinking Axl was hot?
I have no idea, but at this moment I can’t focus on anything else.

He moves closer and I suck in a deep
breath. My heart rate picks up. Then his warm lips touch mine and I come alive.
Every nerve ending in my body tingles. I kiss him back and wrap my arms around
him, running one hand up the back of his head and through his hair. He moves
his hand down my back, over my butt and to my thigh, pulling my leg up around
him. He parts my lips with his and dips his tongue into my mouth. It’s hot and
sensual, and I moan, whispering his name. His hips move against mine and I can
feel how much he wants me. The blood shoots through my veins, rising in
temperature until it reaches boiling point and my body threatens to overheat.
His hand moves up my body. He cups my breast and rubs my nipple with his thumb.

My heart races and I gasp. I had no idea
how much I wanted this until now. And I do want him, so much. His mouth moves
faster against mine and I have a hard time catching my breath. All I want to do
is strip off our clothes. But we aren’t alone.

Emily starts to cry, and it’s like a
bucket of cold water has been poured over us.

“Shit.” Axl lets me go and rolls over to
comfort her.

I lay still and try to catch my breath.
Axl’s voice is so soft and soothing as he tries to calm her down. Her sobs
puncture the waves of desire rolling over me. But it doesn’t go away
completely. I want Axl, more than I’ve ever wanted another man, and I don’t
want to wait another day. So I lay there, waiting. Eventually her whimpers stop
and Emily’s breathing becomes heavy. But he never rolls back over to me.

I sit up to look at him. Did he fall
asleep? No. He’s just lying there, staring off into the darkness. But he
doesn’t look at me and he doesn’t say anything. I lie back down and roll over
on my side of the bed so I can go to sleep.

* * *

When I wake up Axl is already gone, but
Emily isn’t. She’s awake and lying next to me, and she studies me with her big
brown eyes. They are so sweet and innocent.

I smile and brush the hair off her
forehead. “Did you sleep okay?”

She shakes her head. “Bad dreams,” she
says in a tiny voice.

Her frightened expression squeezes my
chest. If only I could do something to comfort her. I’m so useless in times
like this. Without thinking, I pull her close and kiss the top of her head.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I wish I could
make them go away.”

She wraps her little arms around me and buries
her face in the crook of my neck. Her warm breath tickles my skin and my heart
swells with a sensation I haven’t felt in a long, long time. Suddenly, I’m
thrust back in time and I remember how it felt to have her inside me. Lying
awake at night with my hand resting on my large belly, feeling a hard bulge and
trying to guess if it was a foot or an elbow. How much I loved her before I
even saw her. I remember vividly what it felt like when she was born. Holding
her and looking into her blue eyes, her little hand wrapped around my finger.
The devastating sadness that almost crushed me when I had to hand her over to
the nurse. Had to say goodbye.

Tears come to my eyes and I squeeze her
tighter. I have to figure out a way to keep her safe. I have to go out today
with the men and help find a vehicle so we can get away from here, so she can
survive. I have to be there for her now, because she doesn’t have anyone else.

“You ready for breakfast?” I ask, wiping
the tears away and reluctantly letting her go.

She nods and we climb out of bed. I
throw on a pair of shorts and hold her hand as we head out into the other room.
The smell of coffee greets me the second we step out, and I almost jump for
joy.

“There’s coffee?” I ask when I walk into
the dining room.

“Pot’s over there.” Axl is at the table
eating a bowl of dry cereal. He doesn’t even glance my way.

My heart jumps while my stomach
clenches, but he still doesn’t turn my way. He’s so confusing. Does he want me
or not?

I help Emily into a chair and hand her a
Pop-Tart before going to get myself some coffee. My throat is so tight I’m not
sure if I’ll be able to drink, but I’m salivating at the thought of it. I’ll
figure out the Axl thing later. After we get somewhere safe.

Everyone is up, and a few people sit around
in the living area while others are at the dining room table eating a breakfast
of Pop-Tarts and packaged muffins. I grab a blueberry muffin and unwrap it,
taking a big bite as I plop into the seat next to Emily.

“Is that Pop-Tart good?”

She looks up at me with her innocent
eyes and nods. I smile and give her a little hug. The coffee and muffins and
all the new friends I’ve made help soften the blow that Axl’s moodiness
brought.

“Now you’re interested ‘n her,” Axl
mutters, shaking his head.

My eyes sting, but he still won’t meet
my gaze. His judgment hurts more than my own did. I have to fight the urge to
cry.

I turn away and smile at Emily. I’m
trying. That’s what matters.

“We’re gonna head out here in ‘bout
thirty minutes,” Angus says, sauntering over to the table.

He looks me over, raising an eyebrow. I
roll my eyes. He must remember last night differently than I do, because his
chest is all puffed out and he looks awfully proud of himself.

“Who’s going?” I get to my feet. I need
to get to the bedroom and get dressed, so I’m ready to go.

“Winston and Mike, you, me and ‘lil
brother over there.”

“Okay. I’m going to change real fast.”

I run back to the bedroom, wolfing down
the rest of my muffin and pushing thoughts of Axl out of my mind. I’m not going
to let him distract me. Going out to find a car could be dangerous and I can’t
afford to focus on anything else.

I brush my teeth and pull my hair out of
my face, then grab a clean set of clothes. My jeans are still around my knees
when the door opens and Axl walks in.

“Don’t you knock?” I say, yanking my
jeans up the rest of the way.

“Didn’t think it mattered.”

He strips down to his boxers and I try
hard not to watch. Dammit. Why do I still find him so attractive?

“So, are we going to talk about last
night?”

“Nothin’ to talk ‘bout,” he says. “We
kissed.”

I turn with my hands on my hips.
“Seriously? That’s all you have to say to me? We kissed and then you just
disappeared!”

He gives me a hard look, and his gray
eyes are stormier than ever. “Emily needed me and the last thing I want is some
chick usin’ me to get her through. I’ve had that. Lots of times. I ain’t
interested in havin’ it again.”

A sharp pain shoots through my chest,
and I want to scream at him or throw something. “Fine. As long as I know. I was
just feeling a little lonely and thought you might be too. Sorry I was
mistaken.” It’s a flat-out lie. I like Axl. Most of the time.

“Try Angus,” he mutters. He zips his
pants and pulls a shirt over his head as he walks out the door.

I follow him out, but do my best to stay
as far away from him as possible. My gun is tucked firmly in the waistband of
my pants. The men are all gathered around the bag of weapons, arguing over who
gets what. I stand off to the side with my arms crossed over my chest while I
wait for them to get ready.