Broken World (16 page)

Joshua stands next to his chair, and his
book lies on the floor at his feet. His eyes are big and round. They take up
his whole face.

Axl nudges his brother. “Angus, wake
up.”

Angus grunts and starts to sit up, but
stops when his eyes land on Emily. I gently pick her up. She barely moves. I
cradle her in my arms. Her face is so peaceful and innocent. God, I’m selfish.

“What the hell,” Angus says, rolling off
the couch.

Just as he opens his mouth—probably to
bitch more—there’s another knock at the door. He pulls his gun out so fast it
reminds me of a gunslinger in an old western. Angus nods to Axl, and they walk
toward the door. I lay Emily down on the couch, covering her with a blanket,
then follow the brothers with my heart beating a million miles a minute. Joshua
walks behind me, and he’s shaking. He looks even more terrified than I feel.

“I’m sure it’s just Trey and Parvarti,”
I say.

Joshua nods but doesn’t say a word. His
mouth is so tight I’m not sure he could. I bite my lip when Axl leans forward
to look out the peephole.

“It ain’t Trey.”

“Who is it?” Angus’s fingers flex around
his gun.

“Some other people, looks like five of
‘em.” Axl takes a step back and glances back at us before calling out, “What do
you want?”

“Just looking for survivors,” a man with
a deep, baritone voice answers.

“You lookin’ for trouble?” Axl asks.
“We’re armed and we got no problem killin’ if it comes down to it.”

“No one’s looking for trouble. We’re
armed, but we don’t mean you any harm.”

“What you think?” Axl asks.

Joshua shuffles awkwardly next to me and
his hand shakes so hard there’s no way he’d be able to hit anything if he had
to fire that gun. Not that I’m doing any better. My legs are like Jell-O.

“We should hear ‘em out. See if they
know what’s goin’ on,” Angus replies.

Axl nods and turns back to the door.
“We’ll let you in, but we want you to leave your weapons outside.”

“Can’t do that,” the man answers. “We
need to protect ourselves. We’ve got women and children.”

Axl purses his lips. “Then you can send
in one person. After we talk we’ll decide if the rest of you can come in.”

There’s silence for a second and I hold
my breath. Then man says, “Sounds reasonable.”

Axl and Angus step back and raise their
guns, aiming at the door.

“Open it, Doc,” Axl says through
clenched teeth.

Joshua stumbles forward and jerks the
door open. A black man in his mid-forties steps in with his hands in the air,
and Joshua slams the door behind him. The man has broad shoulders and a thick
beard. His eyes are dark and intelligent, and they sweep across the room the
second he’s inside. Taking us all in. His body is as stiff as a board and he
doesn’t relax for a second.

“That’s far enough,” Axl says.

The man nods, but doesn’t speak.

“Who are you?” Angus barks.

“Name’s Winston. I’m just a survivor,
like you, trying to get some place safe. I have a small group of people with me
and we’re trying to make it out of the city. That’s all,” Winston says.

Joshua and I don’t move, and Winston’s
eye catches mine. He nods and gives me a small smile before looking back toward
the brothers.

“Who you got with you? Relatives?” Axl
asks.

Winston shakes his head. “My daughter is
with me. Everyone else we’ve met along the way.”

“Why’d you come up here?” Angus asks.

“Saw your note outside on the street,
thought we’d see who was up here.”

Axl lowers his gun and looks over at
Angus. “This guy ain’t tryin’ to hurt us.”

Angus grunts and drops the hand holding
his gun, scratching his head with the other. “Let your people in.”

Winston puts his hands down and walks
over to the door, keeping his eyes on the brothers as he goes. Angus heads to
the dining room table and grabs his dip while Axl puts his gun in his
waistband. Winston’s shoulders relax the second the gun is put away.

He opens to door, and his group files
in. They range from a little girl around the age of five to a man who’s
probably in his sixties. They’re all dirty and exhausted. I can’t imagine what
they’ve been going through the last few days. Why haven’t they been able to get
out of the city?

“You folks never told me who you are,”
Winston says.

“I’m Axl James and that there’s my
brother, Angus. This here’s Vivian and her daughter, Emily is asleep on the
couch. Over there we got the Doc, Joshua.”

“Who’s Trey?” Winston asks.

“A guy who was traveling with us. He and
his girlfriend went off to Berkley to see if his parents were alive. We said
we’d meet him here, in case things weren’t good for them at home,” I say.

Winston raises an eyebrow. “So you’re
not from the city and you actually came here voluntarily?”

“We didn’t know ‘bout the dead,” Axl
says.

“Was a stupid idea even then,” Angus grumbles.

Winston turns toward his group, who are
huddled together in the doorway. “Well, let me introduce you to everyone.” He
walks toward a tall, thin black girl in her early twenties. She has his eyes.
“This is my daughter, Jessica. Here we have Arthur,” Winston says, pointing to
a thin, gaunt-looking white man in his sixties with silver wisps of hair. “And
that there is Mike.” The man he points to is big and burly, with a black
leather biker jacket and a thick, gray beard. He reminds me of someone you’d see
holding up a liquor store. “Over there is Sophia and her daughter, Ava.” Sophia
and Ava stand back away from everyone else. They’re Hispanic, and the mother
looks to be around thirty with a short, boyish haircut. Her daughter is
probably a year or so older than Emily, and she has long, black hair and big,
brown eyes.

No one moves. These men have no idea
what to do.

I clear my throat and take a step
forward. “Well, everyone must be hungry and dirty. Why don’t you take turns
showering? The men were smart enough to get the generator going, so we have hot
water.”

“Hot water?” Jessica’s eyes get big and
a smile spreads across her face.

She’s not the only one who perks up. The
others smile and shuffle around, mumbling stuff to each other about how nice it
will be to get clean. They seem like a good group.

“There are two bathrooms in the suite,
but we have a master key, so we can get into any of the rooms.”

“I think it would be best to stay
together,” Winston says. “We can take turns.”

The hair on the back of my neck stands
up. I’d almost forgotten about the dead. “Good point.”

18

WINSTON’S
GROUP IS NICE, but silent. They move wordlessly through the hotel room. They
eat and take turns using the shower. Their presence makes my insides feel
weighed down by everything going on. We’re about to get a big dose of reality
and it isn’t going to be good.

Emily woke from her nap thrilled to find
she had a new playmate, and Sophia was kind enough to offer to give both the
girls a bath in the giant Jacuzzi tub. Why didn’t I think of that? Who knows
how long it’s been since the girl had a bath, and the fact that I took a shower
myself but didn’t even think about Emily was a real blow.

This mom thing is so much more difficult
than I expected it to be.

Winston and Mike let the others in their
group get the showers first, so they can fill us in on what’s happening. I sit
on the couch between Angus and Axl listening to Winston talk, and that weight
inside me gets heavier by the second.

“The virus really hit us about five days
ago. We were naive, I think,” Winston says quietly. “We really believed the
government had contained it and the West Coast was going to make it through
this unscathed. It was just a few cases here and there at first, and since the
schools and most businesses had already been shut down we thought we could keep
it that way. Then it just swept across the city like a plague.”

“My wife got sick first. Four days ago
she came down with a fever. Shortly after that my seventeen-year-old son got
it. My wife only lasted forty-eight hours and my son even less. We didn’t leave
the house, didn’t take them to the hospital because we knew there was no point.
So they died in our home. Jessica and I didn’t know what to do with the bodies.
By that point the phone lines were down. I moved them both to the guest room
and planned on burying them as soon as I could.” He pauses and wipes the tears
from his eyes. “It was two days after she died that she came back.”

His hoarse voice sends a shudder down my
spine. I swallow. I don’t want to hear the details, but at the same time I
need
to know. “What happened?”

“Jessica heard some movement in the
guestroom and came to get me. I thought maybe someone had broken in. That was
the only explanation I could come up with. So I got my gun, loaded it and
opened the door. She was standing there in the middle of the room with her back
to me. At first I thought she must have gotten better. It was the only thing
that made sense. But then she turned around and as soon as I saw her face I
knew.” He shakes his head and closes his eyes. “It was worse than any horror
movie you can imagine. Nothing can prepare you for how it feels to see your
loved one come back from the dead. To have them charge at you. Try to bite you.
The horror of having to put a bullet in their skull…” He breaks off and begins
to cry. The sobs shake his body and he puts his face in his hands. My own
throat tightens.

“He shot his son in the head before he
could come back,” Mike says.

“What about you?” Joshua asks.

Mike looks away. “Lost my girl. We’d
ridden across the country to escape the virus. Had some wild idea that we’d go
out to Alcatraz and live there after the end of the world. It was stupid and
mostly a joke. She got sick five days ago and went real fast. I was still in
the hotel room we’d gotten when she turned. I didn’t have a weapon, so I just
ran. That was yesterday.” He clears his throat and downs the small bottle of
booze he got out of the mini bar.

“So what’s the story?” Axl says. “They
turn and they attack, just like the movies? Do their bites change us?”

Winston scratches at his beard. “No
idea. This is just as new to us as it is to you. Jessica and I packed our stuff
up yesterday and headed out to find a car. We met Mike, who had Sophia and Ava
with him. Slept in the mall last night and ran into Arthur this morning. We
don’t know much more than you do, just that the city is suddenly crawling with
them and we have to get out of here. None of us had a car, though. Trying to
find one with keys in it hasn’t worked.”

“We have to wait until Sunday to leave,”
I say.

“Shit.” Angus jumps up and starts
pacing. He reminds me of a caged animal. “This is bullshit! We don’t even know
if they’re comin’!”

“We can’t leave without them,” I say.
“Anyway, they could be here earlier.”

Winston gets to his feet and puts his
hands in the air. “Let’s settle down. Do you folks even know where you’re
headed?”

“We planned on findin’ a farm somewhere,
but that’s before all this zombie nonsense. Now…” Axl shakes his head like he
doesn’t have a clue.

“Well, I think there’s safety in
numbers,” Winston says. “How do you feel about traveling together?”

Angus grunts, but Axl ignores him.
“Sounds like a good idea to me. We’re gonna need another car, but we can get a
group together and find one tomorrow.”

Arthur comes out of the bedroom and
heads over to join us. His hair is wet and he has a big smile on his face.
“Looks like everyone is showered and dressed, except Winston and Mike. There’s
a restaurant on the top floor with a bar and a grand piano. Who wants to go on
up and see if we can find any food that hasn’t spoiled yet? The power has been
out for less than two days, the stuff in the freezer probably didn’t even have
time to defrost completely before you folks turned on the generator.”

Axl gets to his feet. He rubs his
forehead like it hurts. “The booze won’t be bad.”

“We’ll meet you up there after we
shower,” Winston says, tilting his head toward Mike.

I stand to go find Emily, following the
giggles coming from the bedroom. Sophia sits on the bed with a smile on her
lips. The girls are clean and dressed. Emily’s hair is even more blonde now
that it’s been washed. The girls play with dolls and laugh like the world
hasn’t gone to shit. The bath and the company really helped Emily come around,
I’m thankful Sophia did it. It will be nice to have a real mom around. Maybe I
can learn something from her.

“We’re going to head upstairs to the
restaurant, see if anything is still good.”

Sophia smiles and stands up. “Sounds
good. Come on girls.”

They giggle and follow her out. Emily
doesn’t even look at me, and my heart twists with pain. I need to find a way to
connect with her.

Everyone in the living room is ready to
go, except Angus who sits on the couch with his arms crossed.

I stop in front of him and nudge his leg
with my foot. “Aren’t you coming?”

“Gotta stay and make sure these guys
don’t steal our stuff,” he says.

Talk about the pot calling the kettle
black. I shake my head and follow the others out. “Suit yourself.”

* * *

Arthur was right. The stuff in the freezer
hasn’t gone bad. On top of that, there are plenty of rolls, and even some fruit
still good. Sophia and Jessica get to work in the kitchen. I try to help, but
they’re tripping all over me. Domestic stuff isn’t really my thing.

“Why don’t you go out and check on the
girls?” Sophia finally says.

“Sorry,” I say. “I don’t cook.”

“It’s okay,” Jessica says. “You can help
in other ways.”

The women give me fake smiles that make
my shoulders go rigid. They’re humoring me. They think I’m worthless white
trash. I swallow and hurry out of the kitchen before they can see the hurt on
my face. You’d think I’d be used to it after twenty years.

The girls are running around, playing a
loud game of tag while Axl sits at a table, drinking and watching them with a
smile on his face. I stand in the doorway for a moment, watching him and trying
for the millionth time to understand him. And figure out what it is about this
moody redneck that makes my insides unstable.

The soft sound of classical music fills
the room and I look around. Where’s that coming from? A speaker? Nope. Arthur
sits at a beautiful grand piano in the corner of the room. Playing.

He looks up and gives me a huge grin
when I walk over. “I was a music teacher for over thirty years.”

“It’s beautiful,” I say. “You’re very
talented.”

He smiles and winks at me. “You want to
hear something funny? I’ve been waiting to die for three years.”

My eyes get so big they’re in danger of
popping out of my head. I have no idea what he means or why it would be funny.

He laughs and stops playing, patting the
seat next to him. “Cancer. I was diagnosed three years ago. The doctors said I
wouldn’t make it through the year but I did, and I kept defying the odds. When
this virus hit I thought, ‘This is it! This is finally what’s going to kill
me!’ But I beat that too. I guess God has a bigger plan for me.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, because I’m not sure
what else to say.

“Don’t be. I had a good life. Taught at
the same school for three decades, had a wonderful husband and a fantastic
life. I can’t complain.”

He’s gay. Heaven help us if Angus finds
out. “Don’t tell Angus you’re gay,” I whisper, glancing toward Axl.

Arthur laughs and shakes his head.
“Don’t worry. I can spot his kind from a mile away.”

“So your husband, did he die from the
virus?”

He shakes his head and goes back to
playing. A soft melancholy tune that brings tears to my eyes. “No. Car accident
six years ago. It was unexpected and I didn’t know if I would survive it. But I
did.” He smiles again. He’s such a happy person. How? “What about you? Have you
ever been married?”

I shake my head.

His smile stays, but he manages to make
it look sympathetic. That will be a nice addition to our group. Maybe even
balance out the moodiness of the redneck brothers.

“What about Emily’s dad?”

“Well, that was a long time ago.”

I tell him how I gave her up, how I came
back to find her. It isn’t easy. The guilt squeezes my heart. I really expected
to love her.

“You’re a good person,” he says when I’m
done.

“I don’t know. I expected things to be
different. I thought I would feel some kind of love toward her. When she was
born the love I felt was overwhelming, but I gave her up anyway. Now I have her
and I just don’t feel the same.” I stare at my hands, so I don’t have to look
him in the eye. Will he judge me?

“You’ll learn,” he says. “You made sure
she had a family when you couldn’t take care of her yourself, and came back to
get her when you knew they might not be able to. If that’s not love, I don’t
know what is.”

“But I’ve been so selfish. I keep thinking
of myself first, forgetting I even have her.”

He stops playing and puts his hand on my
back. “You’ll figure it out. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Some of the guilt melts away. Maybe he’s
right. Maybe I just need time. “Thank you, Arthur.”

Angus shows up with Mike and Winston in
tow.

“Anything come up missing?” I yell. He
gives me the finger. I laugh and stand up when Arthur starts to play again.
“I’ll talk to you later.”

I head over to the bar to get myself a
drink and Axl follows. “You ready for another drink?” I ask.

“Naw. I ain’t a big drinker.”

“Really?” I say, pouring a glass for
myself.

He walks behind the bar with me and digs
around until he finds a can of mixed nuts. “Mom was a drinker. Not somethin’ I
really want to relive.”

“Understandable,” I say. “Doesn’t stop
me, though. Of course, I guess it’s not such a great idea to get wasted when I
have a daughter now.”

“You earned a night to relax. I’ll keep
an eye on ‘er.”

Smiling, I raise my glass. “Thanks.”

He nods and walks away, taking the can
of nuts with him. He joins Winston and Mike, and a scowling Angus. I take a few
sips while I watch them talk. They’re probably discussing our plan of action,
so I head over too.

“We can go out in the mornin’,” Axl
says. “We’re gonna need one more big vehicle like the Armada, or two smaller
ones.”

“No electricity,” Winston says. “How are
we going to get gas?”

“We’ll have to siphon it out of some
other cars,” Axl replies.

Winston raises an eyebrow. “You know how
to do that?”

The corner of Axl’s mouth turns up and
his eyes twinkle. “Used to siphon gas outta my boss’ car when I was short on
cash.”

I laugh and he when his eyes meet mine
his smile gets bigger. “You mean the Nissan that you are now driving?”

“Same one,” he says, winking at me.

“Well that’s a handy skill to have in a
zombie apocalypse,” Mike says. “Can’t say I’ve ever done that.”

“I’ll teach ya.”

Everyone laughs and Angus pats his
brother on the shoulder. “We got lots of skills that didn’t mean shit before
all this. Ain’t that right, little brother?”