Broken Wings: Genesis (27 page)

I shut my eyes against the horror.
Was humanity worth saving? Why not give the world a clean slate to begin over
again? But then who would be there to stand against the atrocities of Abaddon
and the hordes of Lucifer? Okay––Lucien, I mentally corrected. A rose by any
other name––

“Is all well?”

The voice came from behind me. I
knew it without looking, but I turned to face him anyway. The Archangel Gabriel
stood behind me, studying me closely. Why was everybody watching me with such
intent? Did they expect to read my mind? Good luck. I didn’t even know what was
going on inside of there.

I sighed, turning back to the
Gate. The pictures were gone, leaving the surface the same, flat, blank image I
had always seen. What, was the Gate now trying to influence my decision, too?
Or was it just another trick, courtesy of the angelic host? This whole game was
getting really old. I didn’t want to play any more.

“I’m fine, Gabriel.” I lied,
rubbing the tiredness from my eyes. “What do you want?”

“The Thrones have requested your
presence.”

“Yeah? Let me guess––the fifth
trumpet has sounded and they want me to give them an answer.” I dropped my hand
and looked at him. He frowned. He hadn’t been expecting my awareness of the
situation.

“Yes.”

I threw my hands up in the air.
“So lead the way. Don’t want to keep them waiting now, do we?”

Gabriel’s frown deepened. I could
tell he didn’t trust my acquiescence. It didn’t matter to me. He shouldn’t
trust it. I was over this whole game of chess. I was no one’s pawn.

I was betting the vast sea of
faces inside the Hall of Thrones pretty much combined every being that existed
within the ranks of the angelic host. There were three other, very intimidating
angels to either side of the dais where the Thrones sat. Gabriel took his place
among those, so I’d also wager that I was getting to see the core of the Archangel tier for the first time, all members present.

Chaz was waiting near the front,
with a very distraught Arianna. Whatever had the cherub all worked up couldn’t
be good. But she was the least of my troubles right now. I came up and stood
next to Chaz, but didn’t look at him. My focus was saved for the Thrones.

“The fifth trumpet has sounded.”
Delphia started in without preliminaries.

I shrugged. “I know. But how long
do we have before it is reflected on the Earth plane?”

There was murmuring among the
host, I could hear the unhappiness in their voices. Maybe they didn’t care for
my attitude? To hell with them. I didn’t care.

Delphia worked to hold back her
anger. I could tell it was some struggle. That was interesting. How angry were
angels allowed to get?

“It reflects current events, ones
that unfold now.”

It took me a moment to realize
what she was saying. I glanced around me, but I knew I wouldn’t find the one
angel I wanted to see. Ke was not present. I couldn’t imagine he’d resign
himself to the back ranks of the hosts for this meeting. He wasn’t here. Shit.

“He went to unlock the Pit.”

“Yes.”

I sighed. “So what is my next
move?”

Delphia tilted her head. “It is
the time for choice.”

“So what if he and the rest of the
Grigori are right?” I looked the head of the Thrones straight in the eye
without flinching. “What if this is the only way?”

“You do realize what has happened,
do you not?” I didn’t like the tone in her voice. Delphia had something up her
sleeve.

“Yeah. The whole thing is the
beginning of the end. It signals the start of Armageddon.”

“The Grigori, Ke, has
used
you. He has played you like the foolish mortal female that you are.”

Okay, this lady was really
starting to piss me off.

“You have thrown yourself at him
repeatedly.” Delphia stated, but I could hear the derision in her voice. “And
he has not responded to your advances has he? He probably even gave you some
kind of noble excuse, like he did not want to venture into forbidden
territory.”

Delphia was watching closely for
my reaction. I could feel my cheeks grow hot with a mixture of anger and
embarrassment. She had brought this up in front of the entire angelic host. I
refused to give her any satisfaction, and I certainly didn’t want to look
around to see what everyone else was thinking. I’d never felt so degraded in my
life. I maintained my stare, giving away nothing of the turmoil that raged
within me.

“Ke is no different than the rest
of the angelic host. He was one of the few among the Grigori that never touched
a human. Why do you think he has pushed so hard for you to unbind him? Do you
think he wants to be bound to human form? There was no restriction then on your
coming together. Why did he still turn you away?”

I
knew
it. But I didn’t
comment. My heart felt heavy.

“But most of all, why do you think
he encouraged your advances, even while pushing you away?” Delphia’s look
turned to sly speculation. “Because if he could make you fall in love with him,
you would not do what needed to be done to stop him from opening the pit.”

“Oh?” I feigned interest. “And
what could I do to stop him?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Delphia
backed off. “The time has come for you to make a decision. But it has moved
beyond the point of not doing anything. Ke will open the pit. He is on his way
there even now. The decision now comes down to whether you will choose to stop
him or not.”

My laugh was bitter, but pointed.
“You can’t say it, can you? You are not even allowed to try and put the idea
into words, but you would condemn me for making the decision if I did. It is
against the natural order to destroy any life form. You can’t even tell me that
the only way to stop him is to kill him. And why? Angels have killed before.
But only upon orders. You can’t make that decision. So you want me to. You
haven’t been given the order to stop him at all cost, have you? Or else you
wouldn’t be sitting here trying to talk me into committing murder.”

“That is not––”

I held up my hand to stop her.
“Save it for someone else who might be taken in by your crap. I’m a realist.
I’m also human. You have shown me exactly what you think of that, so excuse me
if I put little weight in what you think.”

That was that. I turned and walked
away. I could hear Delphia calling to me. She wanted to know what I would do.
Let her wonder. Let them all wonder. I still had no clue.

All my life I worked hard and
pretty much did what everyone asked of me. Maybe I would toss in a few
embellishments of my own to the task, but hey, if you can’t add your personal
touch to a situation, then it’s not worth doing. You have to feel personal
involvement on some level, or you can’t put enough heart into it to succeed. I
never saw myself as being anything other than what I was––a fighter for the
side of good. I didn’t do it for the glory, or for some need to play the hero.
My fight against the darkness was very personal and had some deep meaning, a
driving need even I couldn’t pinpoint.

People like Erishkigal, who could
make decisions every day from her ivory tower that separated her from the heart
of her company––never having to deal with the many people who performed the
tasks she directed––it wasn’t my style. I could never imagine being so cut off
and separated from the people whose very lives and stability rested on the
decisions I made. But I had gone and committed a cardinal sin in my profession.
I had let it get
too
personal.

Father David had raised me with
the thought of not getting involved with others. It really had nothing to do
with the feelings of the church in regards to having sex outside of marriage.
It was more of a safety precaution for the safety of the individual I might
choose. That was why I had pretty much relegated myself to a life of dealing
with immortals on any kind of intimacy level. At least they could protect
themselves. They’d been doing it for years.

Chaz was the first mortal to come
into my life that brought the whole danger thing home to me. Heck, I wasn’t
even sure he
was
mortal––were any of
the Nephilim? It wasn’t a question I could just come out and ask without having
questions raised, so I let it go. But it did make me feel very protective of
the kid. I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to him because I
slipped up. That’s why Father David had tried to make that possibility very
clear to me. If I had to protect someone else on top of trying to keep my own
neck safe, it would hinder my efforts.

Ke was the first guy I had ever
allowed to get under my skin the way that he had. To be honest, I wasn’t sure
why. Maybe it was some kind of past life thing. Maybe it was because he was
so-called forbidden fruit. It could even be because he pushed me away. I’m as
human as the next person. We always want most what we can’t have.

But was it love, or just a strong
attraction? I pondered this question as I walked through the gates of the
Garden of Eden. Where I was going didn’t even cross my mind. I was just walking
with my thoughts. So was it a wish of suicide that drew me straight to the Tree
of Knowledge? Maybe I hoped run into Lucifer––Lucien again? I don’t have a
clue, but that’s exactly where I ended up.

As I stood there staring up at the
Tree, thinking once again how unremarkable it seemed when standing as a whole
unit, a voice from off to the side startled me from my thoughts.

“It’s really not much to look at,
is it?”

I turned to see an angel sitting
on the ground a short distance form where I stood. I had never seen a full
figured angel before. This guy was quite rotund. And he wasn’t a cherub. He had
twinkling blue eyes, an impish smile and a ring of white hair that fell past
his shoulders, circling a bald spot. A matching, well-trimmed beard and
mustache surrounded full, pouty lips. He looked vaguely familiar, but I
couldn’t place–

My eyes narrowed with suspicion.
“Didn’t I see you at Morpheus’ place?”

He laughed, a full belly rumble
shaking his frame. “Yes. You caught me by surprise there.”

I raised an eyebrow. “An angel
with a drug addiction? Or were you following me to keep tabs for the angelic
host?”

He shook his head, smiling. “No
drug addiction. It only affects me if I let it.”

“You must have been letting it
that day, you seemed a little glazed.”

He never lost his smile. “Yeah. I
was taking a rest day. We are allowed, but so many of the angelic host tend to
forget that. They take themselves way too seriously.”

I laughed. “Really? No kidding.”
Then I sobered. “So you weren’t there to keep tabs on me for the others?”

“Nope. I was there for enjoyment.
But I did want to get an up close look at you. I wanted to see how you had come
out of the whole ordeal of being dispersed into the web.”

I shrugged. “Another blast from
the past of Ithane?”

He tilted his head. “You might say
that. We had occasion to hang out.”

This guy wasn’t much like the
other angels. He was more of a realist––more down to earth, if that was an
appropriate description for an angel. I kind of liked him. Then a thought of Ke
flashed through my mind and chilled any warm feelings I might be having. I had
kind of
liked
him, too. Look where that got me.

“What’s the problem, child?”

“Child?” I laughed, the bitterness
of my emotions bringing my cynicism out into the open. “I don’t recall ever
having been a child. That would entail days of carefree fun and innocence. I
couldn’t even begin to tell you what innocence feels like.”

The look he gave me was
commiserating. He nodded sagely. “I do understand that feeling. More than you
might think.”

I tried to swallow past the lump
in my throat. I wasn’t dealing well with someone who agreed with me. I needed
to snap myself out of this emotional state and resign myself to the task at
hand. The thought made me suspicious.

“Are you here to make another play
for the angels’ side of things in all of this?”

He shook his head. “No. They’ve
botched it up enough on their own. Besides, is there anything I could say that
would sway you in one way or the other?”

I laughed. “Probably not, but that
hasn’t stopped any of them from trying so far.”

“They have cut themselves off from
the very thing they are trying to protect.” The amiable angel seemed both sad
and serious. “They match too well the people below, without even realizing how
human they have become themselves.”

“As above, so below?” I asked.
Thoughts of Erishkigal came back. “It is a lot like the CEOs of the big
corporations, isn’t it? They sit up in their offices, disconnected from the
people. Without those people, there would be no company, no production, and yet
they give little or no thought to them except to think of them in terms being
inferior––or worse, as only a number––not as the living, breathing, feeling
beings they are.”

“In your decision process, how
much thought have you given to the people below? How much thought have you
given to them in terms of being living, breathing human beings?”

“A lot in some areas, maybe not
enough in others.” I looked to the Tree. I had spoken to Sarge, and much in the
sense to get the perspective of another human that was aware of the situation.
But how much thought had I given to the millions of people whose lives would be
effected by my decision, beyond the selfish thought that I didn’t want to be
the one to make the decision? I was as guilty as any of the others in that.

“Follow your heart, Yeshua Star.
It will never guide you wrong.”

I nodded with a wry smile, turning
back to look at the angel. He was gone, just vanished without a trace. Could
angels do that? I had only thought of them in terms of flying, or walking––not
of disappearing into thin air. There I go again, trying to apply physical
meaning to the non-physical. But he had given me a lot to think about. The
problem was, I was past the stage of thinking. It was a luxury I could no
longer afford. It was time for action. With a heavy sigh, I moved away from the
Tree and headed out of the Garden.