Broken Wings (Contemporary Romance) (17 page)

Several potential insurgents had been detained for questioning. The captives were escorted to an armoured vehicle behind Joshua's. As Joshua and his men made their way to the armoured vehicle, they heard a commotion up ahead. They had not quite settled into the vehicle when there was an explosion, followed by gunfire overhead. The armoured vehicle next to which Joshua was
standing with two of his men had been hit. One wounded soldier lay on the ground, unable to move and in severe pain as his arm had been blown off in the explosion. Two further soldiers lay dead on the ground. They had been taken by complete surprise and had no way of knowing an attack was imminent.

Villagers stepped out of the buildings, the women and children crying as they watched the wounded soldier radio for help. Within minutes, a helicopter was flying overhead and then landed. The soldiers climbed out and surveyed the area surrounding the explosion before proceeding. Once they felt sure the insurgents were no longer in the vicinity, they hurried over to attend to the wounded soldier and get him back to camp for urgent medical attention. They carefully and respectfully lifted the two dead soldiers into the helicopter while some of the other soldiers questioned the onlookers.

“Solider, what's your name?”

Sean McKay was dazed and drifting in and out of consciousness. He'd lost a lot of blood already and this had not gone unnoticed by the soldier kneeling before him, who was securing the wound and stemming the flow of blood.

“Soldier, can you hear me?”

“
My name is Sean from the Bomb Disposal Unit. I was with the bomb disposal team sent here to investigate a suspicious disturbance found by the infantry patrol. Have you found Joshua?” These were his last words before he fell unconscious.

Chapter
Nineteen

Angelina was writing in her living room when the knock she dreaded came. She opened the door, her heart pounding, then stood frozen, knowing instantly that something terrible had happened. She started shaking her head.
“No, no, no.”

“
Hello, Ms Angelina Ferria?” the official looking man asked sympathetically.

With tears falling down her face and a painful tugging in her stomach, she stood back and beckoned for the two men to come in. As they sat down with compassionate looks displayed across their weary faces, Angelina listened intently as she was informed of Joshua's fate.

“I am so sorry, Miss Ferria, if there's anything we can do, anything at all, please just call this number.” The man offered her a piece of paper with a list of numbers of support groups and help lines.

“
Do you have someone you can call?” asked the chaplain, who had accompanied the military officer.

“
Yes, yes,” cried Angelina. She could not find any words; she could feel herself choking up just before she fell to her knees, crying uncontrollably. It was as if her heart had been physically ripped from her chest, leaving an empty cavity. The chaplain comforted her and attempted to ease her pain with words of comfort, but to no avail. His words were lost on her. All he could do was wait until Lucy arrived before leaving.

Angelina thought it was all a bad dream. This just couldn't possibly happen to her a second time.
“Missing in Action, they told me, Lucy. Joshua and his team came under attack by insurgents, two men dead and one seriously wounded. All they found of Joshua was this.” Angelina held out her hand to reveal Joshua's dog tag. Lucy struggled to hold back her own tears as she comforted Angelina, unable to find the right words to ease her friend’s pain; the shock of the news tearing holes in her own heart, the broken look on Richard’s face when she told him would never leave her. She was torn between Angelina and Richard, who right now were both struggling with the loss of someone they loved. But Lucy knew Angelina would be in a much worse state and she needed to be with her.

“
What am I going to do, Lucy? I can't bear this, I don't want to live without him. They said the possibility of Joshua surviving the explosion was virtually nil. His body was not found amongst the debris. They said he was standing right next to the vehicle when it exploded. Well, if that's the case, where is his body? They must be able to recover something other than his dog tag, Lucy? I just refuse to accept he's gone. I need something to hold onto. They said they had to report him as MIA because no body was retrieved at the scene. Well I'm sorry, if no body was found then that means there has to be a chance, no matter how small. He could have survived this, as one other soldier did, Lucy. I can't and won't believe he's gone.”

“
Oh Angelina, you can't do this to yourself. I'm so worried about you and so sorry. Richard is devastated. I saw him cry for the first time today, he is taking this news pretty badly. Look, why don't you come and stay with me for a few days? If you want to lock yourself in a room then that's fine, you don't have to talk to anyone, Angelina, but at least I will be close by and I can keep my eye on you,” pleaded Lucy.

Angelina's face was blank and completely void of acceptance, her eyes were red and blood shot. She hadn't heard a single word of what Lucy said. Lucy grabbed Angelina's arm and helped her off the floor gently. She sat her down on the sofa and went into the kitchen to make her a cup of hot tea. Angelina did not move a muscle, she said not a single word and her expression didn't change. Lucy called Richard to inform him that Lucy would be staying at her house for a few days and that he should come over a bit later if he was up to it himself. Lucy was concerned for Richard too. He had lost his best friend today, a friend who was more like a brother to him and one he'd grown up with. Lucy knew he'd taken the news badly.

Angelina didn't touch her tea or answer the phone when it started to ring. She was in complete shock as the realisation was sinking in. Lucy was desperately worried and feared that Angelina may have a complete breakdown. She could not believe her wonderful friend was having to go through this for the second time in her young life. To lose two partners in the most brutal of circumstances the way Angelina had was far too much for anyone to cope with. What were the odds of this happening? She opened the hallway cupboard and gathered a few things to keep Angelina going for a few days then, with a lot of effort and cohesion, helped Angelina to her car after locking up her cottage and ensuring it was secure while she was away. She drove slowly to her house and helped Angelina to the spare bedroom.

“
Angelina, I am just popping downstairs for a few minutes, okay? I will be right back.”

Angelina did not move and barely blinked, her eyes were full of tears and many were escaping down her sodden red cheeks. Her expression remained the same, unchanged, as she slipped further and further into herself and away from reality. Lucy felt despair setting in, not knowing what to do for the best. Angelina had no real family to speak of. Her mother was not interested in the slightest and she had no idea where her father was. He had disappeared a long time ago with another woman. She felt so deeply for her friend. Holding back her own tears, she decided to call her doctor. She felt Angelina needed a sedative, sleeping pills, anything to help her get through this first tragic night. She just hoped the doctor would prescribe something for her.

Dr Howard was knocking at the door an hour later after a pleading call and a brief explanation from Lucy.

“
She's upstairs, Dr Howard. She won't speak, she won't respond to me at all, I am so worried about her.” The doctor followed Lucy up the stairs and into Lucy's spare room. Angelina was rocking backwards and forwards slowly, lost in her own grief, a picture of total and utter despair.

“
Angelina, it's Dr Howard. I know you have suffered a great loss; I need to know how you are feeling right now. Angelina?” There was no response. Her eyes lifeless, Angelina was holding onto Joshua's last letter. “Lucy, can I have a word with you outside please?”

Lucy led the doctor onto the landing and closed the bedroom door behind them.
“It's clear to me she is in complete shock right now, and will remain so for a few days. She is grieving right now and it is going to take a long time and a lot of support from her loved ones to help her come to terms with her loss. I am going to prescribe a course of strong sedatives, they will help to numb the pain and you will find they will make her very sleepy which right now is the best thing for her,” advised Dr Howard sympathetically.

He wrote out a prescription and handed it to her.
“I also recommend she sees a therapist to help her through the next few months. Just call me if you need anything.”

Lucy nodded in agreement as she showed him to the door.
“Thank you, Dr Howard.”

Richard turned up at Lucy's house thirty minutes later with a tear-stained face and a look of pure devastation.
“How is she, Lucy?”

Shaking her head, she fell into Richard’s arms.
“She's devastated, Richard. How can this happen twice to such a wonderful person? I'm not sure she will recover from this, Richard. You should see her, she is even worse than when she lost Daniel. She won't talk, she won't respond to me. She looks completely lost; she is not with us right now, Richard. Maybe you could try to talk to her, get through to her somehow. She knows how close you and Joshua were,” suggested Lucy, now grasping at straws.

“
I'll give it ago but I can't promise anything.”

Lucy gave Richard a tight hug.
“I know how much you're hurting too, Richard. God, this is so horrible for both of you, I'm so sorry. I know how close you and Joshua were, I just don't know what to do for the best right now.”

Richard walked up the stairs to see Angelina while Lucy made a mad dash to the chemist for Angelina's pills. He wasn't prepared for the sight before him. Angelina was still rocking, her eyes glazed over as if her soul had been hijacked and nothing but a shell was left behind. He slowly walked towards her and sat down on the bed next to her, his own tears betraying his strength when he needed it most. He placed his hand on top of hers and sat quietly for a few moments while he searched for the right words.

“I miss him too, Angelina, he was my best friend,” was all Richard could say.

Angelina turned around to Richard and looked straight in to his tear-filled eyes. She flung her arms around him and held on to him so tight.
“I can't go on without him, Richard; a part of me died today.”

Richard and Angelina continued to hold onto one another for the longest time, Angelina crying out until she could cry no more, Richard lay her down onto the bed and pulled the bed clothes over her.

“One day at a time, we will both take it one day at a time, that's all we can do. Angelina, you're not alone and never will be; Lucy and I will be with you every step of the way, I promise you.”

Richard left Angelina in bed, staring out of the window. He closed the door behind him and then slid down to the floor and sobbed quietly for the loss of his childhood friend.

Lucy came hurrying through the door with Angelina's prescription in hand. She ran to the kitchen for some water and went straight upstairs. Seeing Richard sitting against the door with his head in his hands really brought it home to her just how much he'd been affected too. Choking up, she put down the glass of water for a few moments and hugged Richard, not wanting to let him go. Eventually, Richard urged Lucy to go into the room and attend to Angelina. He made his way downstairs and waited for her. Angelina took the pills without any resistance whatsoever and Lucy sat with her friend, stroking her hair until she fell into a deep sleep. Finally, she crept out as quietly as she could and closed the door, leaving Angelina to sleep.

Richard was waiting downstairs. He told Lucy about his brief conversation and how worried he was for Angelina and they both agreed to keep a vigilant eye on her for a few weeks. Lucy sat down with her arms wrapped around Richard, consoling him.

“Oh Richard, I'm so sorry for your loss, we have all lost something today.”

“
I can't believe it, Lucy, not Joshua. I'm going to miss him so much. He was an amazing friend, the best, he was like a brother to me,” cried Richard.

Chapter
Twenty

Six long weeks had passed since Joshua’s deployment to
Afghanistan; it was now mid-April and Spring had taken a strong hold on the world. New life was sprouting up everywhere. Angelina was saddened by the newness of life that Spring had brought with it. She looked out of the lodge window, transfixed by the new flowers making an appearance, the fresh leaves on the trees and the sound of baby chicks that had made a recent appearance into the world. It all seemed wrong to her; she felt as if she was being taunted daily.

The last six weeks had been the longest and most unbearable of her life. She took another stroll along the lake alone; this was the only place where she could truly feel close to Joshua. He had only been gone a few weeks when the news was delivered, the very words she had dreaded and prayed she would never hear:
“Missing in action, presumed dead.” She felt like she'd been stabbed in the heart, the pain was so unbearable and excruciating.

The first few days had been as if she was floating in another dimension, far removed from the reality that was her nightmare. With each passing day, she knew the chance of Joshua coming back to her and fulfilling his promise was becoming more and more unlikely. With her head hung low and her sandals in hand, the tears once again fell as she walked barefoot along the lake. She could not imagine her world without him in it. She was contemplating her own death more and more with each passing day and the peace it would bring her. Her life was now her abyss, a dark chasm from which there was no escape. She wanted to be with Joshua again and if it took death to bring them together then this was something she was seriously considering.