Broken (The Broken Series Book 1) (22 page)

“You know you could be a bit nicer to Alexander,” I said. “He’s only trying to help you.”

Jack shot me a sulky look. Honestly sometimes he was like a ten-year-old boy when he didn’t get his own way.

I took another sip of my drink. “He cares about you, you know? You’re lucky to have him.”
 

“I know.” Jack looked away, clearly still in a bad mood.

I decided to leave him to his sulk. If he didn’t want to talk, fine.
 

I sipped my drink and cast my gaze around the room. It was really an interesting collection of people. Definitely not as posh as last night, but it was still very far from any kind of party I’d experienced before, and I found it interesting to watch the people milling around.

My eyes flickered over to the bar, and then I froze.

‘Oh, God. Please, no.’
 

I must have said the words aloud because Jack stirred next to me.

“What?” he asked, grumpily.

I didn’t answer, but he followed my gaze and saw who I was looking at.
 

“Oh fan-fucking-tastic,” he said.

She’d spotted us.
 

Jack’s ex-girlfriend, Joanna, glided over to us.
 

She was wearing some kind of gold, sparkly dress that clung to every curve and ended mid-thigh. The type of dress Lauren referred to as slutty. It definitely left nothing to the imagination.

“Hello, Jack,” she purred. “Fancy seeing you here. I thought you were practically a recluse these days.”

“How could I resist the opportunity,” Jack said dryly, “of catching up with people like you?”

Her smile soured a little, and I couldn’t help but smile into my drink.

She turned her attention to me. “How nice. I see you’ve brought the home help out. You always were very considerate, Jack.”
 

I felt my blood boil, but I was determined to say nothing; I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. Calmly, I set my drink back on the table and smiled sweetly up at her.
 

She seemed annoyed at my lack of reaction, so she turned back to Jack.
 

“Well, I see you’re being well looked after,” she said.

I really wasn’t expecting what happened next. I felt Jack’s arm rest across my shoulders, and then he squeezed me closely to him.
 

I was too stunned to react. I could smell his aftershave and the clean scent of his skin. The proximity of him overwhelmed me. It felt so right.
 

But it wasn’t, I told myself. It was wrong, and it was going to ruin me.

“Oh yes,” Jack said, trailing a finger along the inside of my arm. It felt incredibly erotic. I could feel a tightening low down in my belly as the tingling grew between my legs.

“Kristina sees to
all
of my needs.” Jack grinned.
 

My jaw dropped open. I couldn’t believe he had just said that. I should have pulled away and insisted he stopped screwing around with my feelings, but I was paralyzed.

Joanna’s face flooded with red, and it was not from embarrassment. She glared at him.

“You never did have very high standards, Jack,” she spat, viciously.

“That doesn’t say much about you, sweetheart,” Jack said.
 

She screwed up her face. “Well, obviously I wasn’t including myself!”
 

Then she seemed to realize she wasn’t going to win this particular argument. She spun on her heel and stormed off, nearly colliding into a middle-aged man carrying two drinks.
 

Even though she’d moved away, Jack hadn’t removed his arm from my shoulders and the fingers of his other hand were still interlaced around my wrist. The contact was sending tingles shooting everywhere. And my mind was conjuring up memories from last night. I crossed my legs, feeling the fact that my panties were damp.
 

God, I hated the way my body betrayed me.
 

I was so mad at him, and at myself. How had this happened? How had I let myself become his plaything? I looked up at Jack, feeling close to tears.
 

“Well that was very gratifying,” he said, looking extremely pleased with himself.

“Hey,” I said, my voice trembling with fury. “I don’t like being used in your games. If you do that again, without warning me first, I’ll smack you upside the head. Do you hear me?”

For a moment he just gaped at me and then a smile spread into a huge grin across his face.
 

“All right, fair enough. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it. But I couldn’t resist. Did you see the look on her face?”

I eased myself away from Jack and his arm fell from my shoulders.
 

“I need to go to the restroom,” I said, and I stood up without waiting for a response.

I headed across the bar, squeezing myself between the groups of partygoers. I was really hoping that Lauren was still in the restroom so we could go back to the table together and I wouldn’t have to deal with Jack alone.
 

As soon as I entered the restroom, I regretted it.

Jack’s ex-girlfriend was standing in front of the mirror applying copious amounts of lip-gloss. Before I could whirl round and make my escape, she spotted me.
 

“Oh, it’s you,” she said and stabbed the handle of her lip-gloss at me. “So, how have you been finding Jack?” she asked.

Her tone swiftly changed from resentful to friendly. Not what I had expected at all. What was she playing at? Why was she suddenly coming over all friendly and clingy?
 

I took a step back.
 

“Look, Joanna, I really don’t want to get involved in whatever’s going on between you and Jack. It’s nothing to do with me.”

“Oh, don’t be like that,” she said and pouted.
 

It was an impressive pout. I guess that’s what thousands of dollars worth of cosmetic surgery could do for you.

“I’m interested in how he is getting on,” she said. “I do still care about him. We were together a year, you know?”

I shrugged. I didn’t know, and I didn’t care. At least… I didn’t want to care. I wanted to ignore this little spark of jealousy that had flamed up inside me.
 

“Of course, anyone would be concerned because of Jack’s history. I mean, he did try to commit suicide…”

The look of shock and horror must have been plastered all over my face. I felt the blood drain from my cheeks as I stared at her.

“Oh, I take it you didn’t know. Sorry,” she said, although it was obvious she was anything but sorry. “I thought they would have told you. I mean, that’s why you are there, isn’t it? To keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t try it again.”
 

She gave me a cheap plastic smile.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like there was a tight band wrapped round my chest.
 

“I mean, you know that’s why you were hired, don’t you? I suppose any pretty face would have done. You’re merely a distraction, something to keep Jack’s mind occupied. He always did enjoy a tumble in the cheap seats.”

The whole room seemed to spin, and I clasped the edge of the cold enamel sink trying to hold myself up and steady my shaky legs.
 

Her bitchy comments about me washed over me. I didn’t care about that, but … Jack?

She whisked past me towards the door, and I was engulfed in her heavy perfume. It made me feel sick.
 

I held my breath. My chest was too tight, and the blood was rushing in my ears. I heard the door slam behind her, and I let out a shaky breath. I’d been trying so hard to hold it together when she was there, but now the full force of it hit me.

I heard a voice behind me. “Are you all right, dear?”
 

I turned to see a lady in her sixties who had just exited one of the stalls.
 

I nodded. I didn’t feel capable of speech.
 

I stepped outside of the restrooms. I needed to get away from that cloying scent Joanna had left behind. But I didn’t go back to the table.
 

Instead, I leaned back against the wall in a darkened corner. I still felt queasy. My head was full of a thousand images. I turned my head so I could see him across the room at our table.
 

Alexander and Lauren were back, and he was chatting to them. He still looked grouchy.
 

Tears swam in my eyes. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I couldn’t believe no one had told me.

My heart rate was out of control. Was I going to have a panic attack?

What had Alexander been thinking? It was ridiculous; I couldn’t be responsible for Jack.
 

Hell, how could I fix him when I couldn’t even fix myself?
 

I looked at Jack unable to believe that he would want to end it. He was perfect. So gorgeous. His dark hair, contrasting against his tanned skin. In evening dress, he looked like he’d stepped off the pages of a magazine. Too good to be true.
 

I remembered how it felt being so close to him last night. Having him touch me, driving me wild. I could imagine my hands roaming through that silky black hair, pressing my mouth to his and tasting him. That was what I wanted to do right now.

But what if I did something wrong? What if I screwed up?

I couldn’t take this responsibility. It was all too much.
 

I moved for the exit, almost running. And as soon as the cold night air hit me, I gasped. I clenched my hands into fists and pounded them against the sides of my legs.

Shit, shit, shit.
 

My head was spinning. I couldn’t handle this. I never asked for this responsibility. Why the hell had no one told me that he’d tried to kill himself?
 

I was so mad I could scream. My nails were digging into my palms producing little red welts, but I didn’t care.

I stayed out there for at least ten minutes, before I managed to calm myself.

I knew I had to go back inside.
 

I had to go back in there and pretend that everything was fine, that nothing had changed… when really everything had.

For the rest of the night, I somehow managed to keep Joanna’s revelations to myself.

I hardly spoke to Jack. He did notice that I was quieter than usual, but I just told him I was feeling tired after last night, and I think he believed me.
 

My head was a mess.

I could picture Jack as he was last night, leaning over me, his tight muscles bunched up, supporting his weight, as he had moved forward to kiss me. I tried to remember if I’d seen any scars on his arms, but I was sure they had been as smooth and perfect as the rest of him.

I didn’t think he had cut his wrists, so how had he tried to commit suicide? He could have opted for pills…

I found myself analyzing everything that Jack had said or done over the past few days.

It was horrifying to think that something could have happened to him while I was supposed to be looking after him.
 

I don’t understand how I was meant to go on as normal now. How could I? What if I did something wrong? What if I screwed up, and he tried again? It would be my fault.

I haven’t exactly been great at this job so far. But now there is so much more at stake.
 

We didn’t stay long at the party. Alexander and Lauren seemed to be enjoying themselves, but Jack and I were casting our miserable moods over the evening.

On the journey home, I noticed Lauren eyeing me curiously, wanting to know what was wrong.

But I couldn’t tell her. I just couldn’t.

When we got back to the house, I went directly to my room. I stripped off my clothes and slipped beneath the cool, cotton sheets, but I didn’t sleep. I couldn’t.

I just lay there staring up at the ceiling.
 

I was not any good at this job. I was not trustworthy enough, and I definitely could not be trusted with something this big.

More than anything in the world, I wanted to help Jack, but this I couldn’t deal with. If he killed himself because I messed up, I would never recover from the guilt.

At four am, I finally gave up on sleep.

I slipped out of bed and padded across to the dressing table. Grabbing the iPad I had borrowed from Alexander, I flicked through the apps.

I had to leave. There was no other way out of this mess. I had to book myself a flight home.

The only flight I could get a seat on was one that left at 9 o’clock at night. It totally wiped out my bank account, too. But that was the least of my problems.

After I’d purchased the one-way ticket, I took a long shower, dressed and started to pack. By six am, I was carrying my suitcase down the stairs.