Broken (The Broken Series Book 1) (20 page)

“You know, it would be nice, if once, just once, someone actually believed me.”

Lauren looked a little sheepish. “I want to, Kristina. I really do. But Kate made me promise. She said if I saw any sign that you were going off the rails or any indication that you needed help, I had to call her. I promised.”

“Don’t you dare,” I spat the words at her, beyond furious. “My sister is pregnant; the last thing she needs to do is to worry about me. And I haven’t done anything!”
 

“Okay, so back to my solution,” Lauren said, keeping her voice so calm it was infuriating. “Do the test, prove you’re clean, and I won’t have to tell Kate anything.”

“That’s blackmail,” I said.

 
Lauren shrugged. “Whatever works.”

I shook my head. “Fine, I’ll do the damn test.”

Lauren gave me a small tight smile as she stood up and walked towards the door. “Good, I’ll book it. And Kristina…”
 

I scowled at her.

“I’m only doing this for your own good.”
 

I didn’t reply, and I didn’t look at her, but I sensed her walking back across the room towards me. She put a tentative hand on my shoulder, and then pulled me in for a hug, but I remained stiff and unresponsive.
 

She whispered in my ear, “I want to be a good friend, Kristina, and a real friend is someone who knows everything about you, every deep dark secret but they love you anyway.”
 

I pulled back and stared at her.
 

“Maybe I should trust you,” she said. “I don’t have all the answers. All I know is that I don’t want you to go back to where you came from. You’ve been doing so great.”

God damn it. I turned away. My eyes had teared up. I didn’t know what was going on with me over the past few months. I seemed to cry at the drop of a hat.
 

After Lauren left me, I returned to the bathroom to splash my face with water in an effort to reduce the redness. I dabbed my stupid teary eyes with a tissue. I wanted to do the right thing, but why was it so difficult?

Still, I had nothing to worry about. The test would be clean and then maybe Lauren would trust me.
 

I needed her to.

As angry as I was right now, I knew that Lauren was a true friend. She knew all about my past and who I was. But now I needed her to accept who I had become and trust me. If this was how I had to gain her trust, then I would do the dumb test and get it over with.

Jack

When Kristina returned, her face had been scrubbed clean of makeup. Her eyes were a little puffy, too, and I wondered if she’d been crying again. Then I inwardly cursed myself. I needed to stop with that crap. She was an adult. She was quite capable of running her own life without my interference.

She was not her usual cheerful self, and she was careful to keep her distance from me.
 

God damn it, anyone would think I’d bite.
 

I was too busy watching Kristina, so I didn’t notice as my crutches slipped when I tried to prop them against the wall. I reached to grab them before they fell, but my elbow jarred the side of the coffee table, sending my glass of orange juice tumbling to the ground.
 

I cursed. Loudly.

“Wow, you’re in a great mood today,” Brian quipped.

He thinks he’s so funny. Kristina rushed to my side with a dish cloth and paper towels to tidy up the mess.
 

I really was a joke. I was just as bad sitting down as I was trying to walk. I moved away from the table and stalked across to the French doors, looking out at the grey sky.
 

“And what the hell is up with this weather?” I said to no one in particular.
 
“It’s meant to be goddamned sunny in Monaco.”

“It’s just a few clouds,” Brian said. “It’s meant to brighten up later.”
 

I didn’t like his cheerful tone, so I ignored him.
 

I heard the commotion behind me as Olga arrived for yet another massage therapy session. I didn’t bother to turn around or to greet her.
 

I could hear Kristina, Brian and Olga all talking in hushed tones behind me. I knew they were talking about me. Well, let them. Why should I care?

I did my best to keep my head averted, but after a while, I couldn’t resist looking at the group of them, huddled together. What the hell were they talking about?

My attention returned to Kristina. She was looking pale today too. I just didn’t get her reaction this morning. How was it possible for one person to run so hot and cold?

In one moment she looked at me in a way that made me feel I was the most important person in the world to her, and in the next, she was scrambling for her clothes and leaving me.
 

Maybe she had been drunk. Maybe that was what it took for me to get a woman in bed these days.

Olga was talking more excitedly now and her accent became heavier when she was excited. She was yanking on Kristina’s arm, trying to drag Kristina out of the room to show her something.
 

I shot a puzzled look at Brian. “What the hell are they up to?” I asked.
 

“I think they are planning something, mate. I think you’re in for a surprise later.”

“I hate surprises,” I said.

Brian beckoned me over. “Come on, cheerful, time for your work out.”

I was actually looking forward to it. The pain wasn’t anywhere near as bad these days, and there’s something about the exercise, about getting hot and working my muscles hard, that eased out my frustrations.

For the first couple of minutes Brian and I didn’t talk. I was used to the exercises now, and he just gave me small wordless pointers to adjust my position.
 

Although, I was usually happy to work out without chatter, today I wanted to talk. There was something I needed to ask him.
 

“You know, what you said before, just after the accident? You said I might want to talk to somebody?”

Brian handed me a larger kettlebell. “What do you mean?”

“You know,” I said, not bothering to hide my irritation. “You told me I might need to talk to a head doctor, or something.”

Brian’s eyes widened. “Well wonders will never cease. You want to talk to a therapist? I thought I’d never see the day.”

I scowled at him. “You’re not supposed to make fun of me. You’re supposed to be a medical professional.”

He held up one hand. “All right, I’m sorry. Is there any particular reason why you want to talk to somebody now?”
 

“I’ve just been feeling weird.”

“Pain?”
 

“No, just like I’m all moody. Well, like…” I searched for the right words. “All emotional.”
 

Brian smirked.
 

I dropped the kettlebell. “What the hell are you grinning at?”

“I’m not sure what you’re feeling has anything to do with your accident, Jack.”
 

“What do you mean? Of course it does. What else could it be?”
 

“Well,” Brian said, leaning against the wall. “It’s funny these feelings have coincided with the arrival of a pretty young woman called Kristina.”

I gaped at him. Was he crazy?

“Look, all right, she’s pretty, and she’s nice, but I’m not the type to get all emotional about a woman.”

“Right,” Brian said, keeping that annoying grin plastered on his face.

“I’m not,” I said.
 

“But you do like her?” Brian prompted. His grin was practically devilish now. He was enjoying this far too much.

God damn it. Was he really going to make me admit it? I scowled. “Sure, she’s great and everything, but I’ve had plenty of relationships and I’ve never felt like this. It has to be to do with the accident.”
 

Brian shook his head. “Must be love, Jack,” he said with a wink, and honest to God, I nearly punched him.

“What the hell are you talking about? It’s a good job you’re not a therapist. You have no idea.”
 

Brian broke out laughing. “Why not just tell her how you feel, Jack. You never know your luck. It might work.”

“You are
crazy
,” I said, pushing my hair back from my eyes and giving him a look. “She’s a nice girl but it’s not like that.”
 

Brian let out another peel of laughter just as Kristina and Olga returned to the room.
 

I turned away so Kristina couldn’t see my face. Unlike my brother, I’d always been terrible at hiding how I felt.

“What’s so funny?” Olga asked.

“Nothing,” I snapped. “Brian’s just being an idiot.”
 

Kristina

Jack was in a terrible mood that morning, almost as bad as mine.
 

I really didn’t want to go outside with Olga, but she insisted. She was so excited about a surprise she’d organized for Jack.

Reluctantly, I headed out to the driveway and she led me up to her car, opened the trunk and pulled out what looked like a dry-cleaning bag.

I raised an eyebrow, and she turned it round so I could see what was inside. A suit. Evening dress to be exact.
 

I looked at her blankly. She gleefully told me she’d got it cleaned for Jack because there was a party tonight and his brother thought he should go.
 

I tried to tell her it wasn’t a good idea, that Jack probably wouldn’t be too pleased with her surprise, but she was having none of it. Her enthusiasm couldn’t be dampened.

Of course, I would be expected to go as well. Great.

When Olga and I returned to Jack’s wing, we heard Brian’s laughter. I took that to be a good thing, expecting Jack to have lightened up a little. I was wrong. I caught a glimpse of his face as I entered the room, and wished I could walk straight out again. He looked furious.

The morning really dragged. Olga and Brian were so cheerful, it just highlighted how miserable Jack and I were.
 

I tried to make an effort, but I couldn’t. I really wanted to be alone with Jack. The thought terrified me, but we needed to talk about last night. We needed to sort things out. Living and working like this would be impossible otherwise. We needed to work out what the hell was going on between the two of us.
 

When Olga and Brian left in the early afternoon for a late lunch, Olga gave me a wink. “I’ll come by this afternoon to drop off the suit!”

“Okay,” I said, a feeling of dread seeping out across my stomach. Jack really wasn’t going to like this at all.
 

I glanced at my watch and realized I hadn’t got long before Lauren arrived to take me to the clinic for that stupid blood test.
 

Jack was sitting, playing on his iPad. He seemed determined to avoid me today. Even though it was practically impossible to avoid me when we were in the same room, Jack was making a good go of it. He got top marks for effort.
 

I stuffed my hands in my pockets and walked up to him. He didn’t look up.

“I have to pop out this afternoon,” I said. “But I shouldn’t be long.”
 

He didn’t even look at me. He just shrugged.

“Fine,” he said, “Whatever you like.” He carried on pretending to be engrossed with his iPad.

I wanted to snatch it out of his hands. I wanted to put my hands on either side of his delicious, smooth, tanned skin and shake him. I wanted to make him tell me what the hell was going on.

More than anything I wanted to feel like I had last night: warm, safe, and incredibly turned on. Well one out of three wasn’t bad. As angry as I was with him right now, the way his T-shirt hugged his muscular upper body had me practically drooling. I remembered running my mouth along his toned abs last night, and how his muscles flexed beneath my lips.

I gritted my teeth. I had to focus.

“Lauren wants me to go to a clinic in Monte Carlo and have a blood test.”
 

That got his attention. His head whipped around. “What for?”
 

“She wants me to take a test to prove I didn’t take any drugs last night.”
 

He frowned. “Why does she want you to do that? Doesn’t she trust you?”

For a moment, his words left me speechless, then I said, “In her defense, I haven’t exactly been trustworthy in the past. I don’t really want to go for the test. But I’ll do it for Lauren.”
 

He shook his head. “But you’re not that person anymore.”
 

I nodded. “I know. The thing is … it’s hard to make her understand. I know I’ve made mistakes—huge ones. It was me that took that first step into the spiral of self-destruction that I’ve been in for the last couple of years, but I wouldn’t do it a second time. I wouldn’t put myself through it because the second time wouldn’t be a mistake, it would be a choice and I choose not to be broken anymore.”