Broken Souls (20 page)

Ashley let out a sigh. Here it was
, the emotional guilt and blackmail was slowly starting to trickle out of the woodwork once again. The crocodile tears were pooling in her eyes as her bottom lip began to quiver.

“I understand why you left, but we miss you so much. We just want to rebuild bridges with you again, darling. When I see you like this, lying in a hospital bed, it just brings me to pieces.”
She swiped at a false tear that had escaped her eye.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now,” Ashley replied, trying to close off the subject. The past was best staying where it was. Buried.

Her mother didn’t get the hint as she continued. “With everything that has happened with Gabby, your father and I knew that we needed to try and bridge the gap with you. I know you must be thinking about Isabella a lot at the moment. Maybe you could speak with—”

Ashley uncrossed her arms and raised her hands in
to the air. “I am going to stop you right now,” she snapped. “I don’t want to speak to some
counsellor
. If I didn’t want to all of those years ago, then I am most certainly
not
going to speak to one now.”

“Darling!”

“No, I’m not putting up with this. If you’re only here to try and bring up the past then you need to leave. I don’t want you here...” Ashley’s gaze intensified as she pointed towards the door.

At this point, her mother’s tears were flowing freely. “You are sick, Ashley,” she cried,
clutching a tissue to her mouth. “You’ve been sick for a long time. We want to get you some help so that you can work through your issues. You’ve never recovered from Isabella, and now you are reliving everything with Gabby too?”

“Enough, Jackie!” Her father shouted as he strode into the room. “How many times have I got to tell you?” 

“She isn’t listening to me, Rupert! We have to make her understand that she
needs
us. If she comes home then we can get her the help that she needs. She will come back to us. It’s exactly what you wanted!”

Ashley couldn’t listen to the argument erupting between her parents. She shut off from their words, blocking everything from entering the cavity of her mind. It was ridiculous. Even after all of these years, her mother still believed that she was suffering with a mental illness.

If only her father would accept the conclusion that it was in fact her mother who was ill, then they would be able to get
her
the help that she needed. Instead, he continued on with the charade that everything was fine.

It was far from fine.

Her mother needed help, but there was no way that she could convince her father otherwise. He would never admit to it. Their social standing meant more to them than anything, and he would never jeopardise that by seeking the help his wife needed.

It was pathetic and part of the reason
that she left home at the age of eighteen. She just couldn’t continue living like everything was perfect. They were living in a bubble that never seemed to touch reality. It was a shield that kept them away from the world.

Ashley
had always known from an early age that it wasn’t the life she wanted to live. Despite it being the only way she knew, she was determined not to follow in her parents’ footsteps. She didn’t need the social status or the wealth that seemed to control their life. They were insignificant elements for her to give up in comparison to the open world she
could
have.

So
, on her eighteenth birthday, Ashley stepped out of her parents’ townhouse and chose the world. And since that day, she hadn’t looked back... not even once.

~

“What were you and Isabella doing by yourself?”

“Mummy, I didn’t mean to. We were just… Isabella wanted to go and I said yes,” Ashley choked, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders.
“Chrissy dropped us off, but then we left so that we could go to the CD signing. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to follow her into the road.”

Her mother sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “
Alright, darling, we’ll try and get this sorted. I’m not sure how Isabella’s parents will understand that you led their daughter away. They’re in pain because of your decisions.”

Horror crossed Ashley’s face. “No!” she cried. “Why won’t you listen to me?
It wasn’t my fault! Issy went first!”

“You’ve always had a wild personality. Your father and I should have spotted it before this happened
.”

“No, you aren’t listening properly!”
Ashley screeched at her mother and earned herself a sharp slap across the face for her rudeness.

“You don’t ever speak to me like that,” she
shouted as Ashley raised her hands to cradle her burning cheek. “You are bringing shame on this family. Is that what you want? Do you want your father and me to be laughed at? We are already worried about the embarrassment you have caused us for the Willow Gala tonight. All eyes are going to be on the Akerman family and their unruly daughter...”

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry... I’m sorry...” Ashley whimpered in her sleep as her head thrashed repeatedly from side to side against the pillow. “I’m sorry for bringing shame on the family. I promise I’ll be good... I promise.”

A firm hand against her leg pulled Ashley from her sleepy depths.

As the hospital room came into focus once again, she placed her palm flat against her forehead and groaned. “I can’t believe
how many I’m having now,” she sighed. “Why are the nightmares coming back more and more?” She continued to mumble to herself, oblivious of the body stood at the end of her bed, and the arm firmly gripping at her lower leg.

“You seem to be sleeping a lot.” Ben released her leg and dropped into the armchair next to her bed. Entwining his fingers, h
e placed his hands casually in his lap. “I just saw your parents leaving. They said that you refused to see them today. Your mother seemed especially disappointed. They hung around a little in case you changed your mind.”

“Mmm
... I didn’t.” She picked up the magazine she was reading before she fell asleep. “And what else did they tell you?” Ashley asked, her eyes flicking towards a celebrity news article. “Did they tell you about how they ambushed me after you left yesterday? And how they ended up having an argument at the foot of my bed about whether I’m mentally stable or not?”

Ben was silent.

“I didn’t think so,” she muttered, viciously turning the page. “They only tell you what they want you to hear, Ben, so don’t get sucked in.”

“They’re
only looking out for you.”

“My mother thinks
I’m crazy,” Ashley scoffed. “She doesn’t think I can cope following Gabby’s death, and that by bringing up the past, she is going to be able to trigger a deep set of emotions that I’ve long buried.”

“I heard about what happened to your friend.”

Cocking her head to the side, Ashley studied him. “So what do you think? Do you think that a ten year old should be blamed for the death of her best friend when both children ran into the road? What if neither of them saw the car coming?” She gripped the magazine tightly, her knuckles turning white as the material crinkled beneath her fingertips. “Is it one child’s fault that a passerby pushed her to the ground to save her, but didn’t have enough time to get to the other?”

“I’ll
stand by you,” Ben tried to reassure her. He untangled his fingers and leaned forward in the arm chair. “Whatever the truth is then I’ll help you through it, Ash. You don’t need to worry about support. I’m here for you.” He removed her hand from the magazine and softly covered it with his own. “If you are hurting over Gabby and Isabella then I think you need to talk to somebody. It may even help you get closure,” he offered, giving her a gentle squeeze.

Ashley traced
her bottom lip with her tongue. There were no words she could say to him. It appeared as if he had been completely brainwashed; sucked in by her mother and the vicious lies that she continued to spin.

She had no idea how Ben had managed to fall into this trap. Had he spoken to her parents at some point during the funeral? What did they discuss?
Had he revealed his feelings for her?

“Oh God,” she whispered
under her breath, her eyes widening with pure horror.

This could be bad… Her mother would be in her element right now if this was the case. Ben was the type of gentleman that would receive her mother’s full approval without a doubt. His background was impeccable, coming from a well-established and
successful family full of doctors and dentists, she was almost sure that her mother would try her hand at matchmaking.

“Ash?”

“Forget it,” she dismissed. “Actually, can you ask a nurse to send in the doctor please?” She pulled her hand from his grasp and turned back to her magazine. The conversation was being shut down.

Ben stood and pushed
his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Why do you need to see the doctor?”

Her response was short and simple,
her eyes never straying from the magazine she was reading. “Because, I’m getting out of here.”

After spending almost two hours being grilled left, right and centre by the resident doctor on duty for the evening, Ashley was finally discharged from the private hospital she had been transferred to.

“Would you like us to call somebody to collect you?” the nurse asked as she handed over a clear plastic bag containing her possessions. “Is there anybody that can accompany you home?”

“I would prefer to just get a taxi,” she replied, gratefully taking the bag. “Is this everything?” She opened the bag and pulled out her coral dress and nude court shoes, desperate to get off the horrible, pale hospital gown she had been forced to wear for the last forty-eight hours. It was itchy, unflattering and just horrible. “I’ll be a moment.” She nodded to the nurse and rushed into the en-suite bathroom for some privacy.

Safely within the confines of
the locked bathroom, Ashley dropped to her knees on the cold tile floor, her hands digging frantically into the plastic bag to retrieve her flowery clutch, which she snapped open eagerly with a smile. She was after her mobile phone, her lifeline, and the only link connecting her to Marco. She hoped that her phone would provide the answers to his sudden departure. She hoped that he would have left her a note of some sort. Possibly a text message, or even a voicemail to help her understand why he had gone after Sophia. She had so many questions that she needed answering.

“No, no, no!
” Her smile began to fade. Aside from her usual necessities, tampons, make-up etc... her mobile phone was nowhere to be found. “This can’t be happening,” Ashley mumbled, tipping the bag upside down to allow the contents to scatter across the tile. She pushed the objects aside with her hands, miraculously hoping for the device to appear before her eyes. “Where’s my phone?” She cried with frustration and slammed her hands to the floor. Anger bubbled in her stomach, the fiery flicker spitting and spluttering more and more until she thought she was about to explode.

Her mother...

There was no denying it. Her mother had taken her mobile phone from her possessions before handing them over to the hospital. It was yet another attempt at her trying to control her life. Taking away her source of communication with Marco was the final straw. She was going to blow.

“Are you
alright, dear?” the nurse knocked before jiggling the locked door handle. “Do you need any help at all?”

Blowing out a long breath, Ashley tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, and scooped her scattered belongings back into her clutch bag. “I’m fine,” she replied curtly,
pulling her dress over her head.

Turning to lo
ok in the mirror above the sink, she smoothed out the creases in the material before bending to slip on her court shoes. Something had to be done about her mother before it was too late. Her father had to listen to her this time. It was clear that her hiatus from the family had done more harm than good. She had hoped that her absence would have given her father the motivation to finally do something about it, but clearly not.

Unlocking the bathroom door, she
stepped back into the room and passed the clear plastic bag to the nurse. “Thank you, I’ll be going now.”

Determination shone in Ashley’s eyes as she straightened her back and walked through the winding corridors of the private hospital. Her heels clicked loudly, but she didn’t slow her pace. She had a plan to follow... she was going to go home and freshen up before paying a surprise visit to her parents’ house.

Although, the surprise element of her plan would be mediocre at best.

There was n
o chance that the hospital would discharge her without alerting her mother, which meant that the woman was probably already on to her and making preparations. Time was going to be critical in this game she was about to play, especially if she wanted to get her phone back so that she could tell Marco what was truly in her heart. She hoped that if she revealed everything then he would possibly come back for her. It was wishful thinking, but it was all that she had.

“Ash
ley?”

She
stopped abruptly, spotting Ben rising from an armchair in the main waiting room. His hair was unruly and his appearance looked dishevelled; he didn’t look like the Ben she was used to seeing. 

“Have you been waiting for me to leave? Why didn’t you go after you visited earlier?
Surely you have patients and appointments to keep?”

“I couldn’t just let you leave on your own,” he shrugged, closing the distance between them.
“Come on, there is a car outside to take you.” His arm snaked comfortably around her shoulders as he walked outside with her. “It’s raining a little, but I’ll get the car to pull right up,” he said, raising his free hand into the air to signal the driver.

A sleek Jaguar manoeuvred from a nearby parking space and stopped under the covered walkway in front. A driver hopped from the front seat and hurried to open the passenger door as they approached.

“This isn’t your doing is it?” Ashley sighed.

She felt Ben stiffen momentarily before he recovered. “Of course I booked it,” he replied, gesturing for her to slide inside.

He was lying. Ashley wasn’t as stupid as he thought she was. She had felt his hesitation, which was enough to confirm her suspicions. The car had been sent by her mother, and now she had to decide whether she was going to get in or not. It was obvious that the driver wasn’t going to take her back to her flat. But then again, she couldn’t work out why Ben was here either. Was he part of this plan, or was he being unknowingly dragged along for the ride?

“Are you going to get in?”

“I’m still deciding.”

“About what?” he asked sheepishly.

“Whether I want to know what part you have played in all of this.” She eyed him warily, watching for any form of expression that could give him away. A sliver of weakness was all that she needed to make him crack. It was just that one little something that she could work on.

“I don’t know what you
’re talking about, Ash.”

She shook her head at his little act of denial. It wasn’t going to convi
nce her. He was hiding something, and she just had to work out what that was. Perhaps the car journey would give her some more time to work on him. It was possible for her to break him in enough time if she was persistent enough.

“I’ll get in the car,” she muttered, sliding onto the backseat.

Ben was silent as he closed the door behind her. He walked around the back of the car and slid into the other passenger seat without casting a glance in her direction.

“Thank you, s
ir,” he nodded, “we can head off now.”

Both of them buckled their seatbelts and turned to look out of
a window. It was going to be a long drive if he didn’t want to talk to her. She was going to have to do something to make this work, she had to try and crack what was really going on.

~

After sitting in gridlock traffic for over twenty minutes with nothing but silence between them, Ashley tried to break the ice in an attempt at restoring the now tense atmosphere.

“Bloody rush hour traffic, hey?”
She laughed awkwardly.

Ben’s expression remained stoic as he continued to stare out of the window. He wasn’t taking any notice, almost as if he was trying to block her completely from his thoughts.

It unnerved Ashley slightly.

She wasn’t used to this side of him. He was normally always
the cheerful and talkative one out of the group. And most recently, the one that continued to profess his feelings for her. This silence was definitely not in his character. Something was playing on his mind, but he continued to fight against it so that she couldn’t see.

“Well... t
his is awkward,” she scoffed, lightly tracing patterns on the window with her finger. “I think I know where we’re going, so there isn’t any need for you to stay quiet.”

Silence.

“Driver, are you taking me to my parents’ house?” she asked, positioning her head so that she could look at his reflection in the rear view mirror.

“I...Umm
...” The driver stammered as he shot Ben a nervous glance over his shoulder before turning his attention back to the road.

“Yes, Ashley,”
Ben eventually replied. “We are going to your parents’ house.”

“Why?” She challenged back, leaving him no chance
to withdraw again. “Why are we going there instead of my flat?” Ashley turned her body towards him and tapped her fingers against her thigh.

“Don’t make this bigger than it is. Your mother asked me not to leave you
by yourself, which I wouldn’t have done anyway. She also asked if I could accompany you from the hospital, which I was always planning to do as well, so I decided to stick around and wait for you. Why are you asking so many questions? I thought you trusted me?”

She cocked her head to the side. “
How do you know my mother? You seem to have quite a relationship.”

“I don’t
... I barely know her.”

Ashley wasn’t convinced. She rolled her eyes and turned back towards her window.  “If you say so,” she murmured under her breath.

“Miss... w
e are here,” the driver spoke about fifteen minutes later. “I’m afraid that the street is fully blocked with traffic, so I’m not able to pull up outside of the building.”

“Don’t even worry about it,” she replied, waving it off with a flick of her wrist. “I’ll just get out here and walk down.” She unclipped her seatbelt and pushed open the passenger door without waiting for Ben. The rain had started to come down a little more since they left the hospital earlier, but she didn’t re
ally care. It was refreshing.

“Ash, wait up will you?” Ben shouted as he slammed the car door closed behind him.
He sprinted to catch up with her as she started up the stone steps towards the traditionally styled heritage front door. “Are you trying to take off without me,” he laughed, reaching down to grasp hold of her hand.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” He shrugged nonchalantly before taking hold of the large door knocker. He rapped it loudly against the timber door before releasing his hold and shuffling their bodies closer.

“Wait, what the heck are you
—
” Ashley tried to shrug away as the front door swung open wide.

“Benjamin, it is so lovely to see you again,” her mother
cooed sweetly as she gestured for them both to step inside. “Ashley, darling, I am so pleased to see that you are feeling better.”

Ashley watched closely as her mother’s eyes flickered fiercely in her direction. There was
no denying that she was giving her a warning. It was a look she had experienced too many times in her past. It was haunting; the look enough to send a tremor along the entire length of her spine.

“Hello, Mrs Akerman,” Ben nodded politely, his fingers squeezing Ashley’s hand with subtle reassurance
as they stepped into the stone-tiled foyer.

Despite the dubious cloud she had put over his head, she
was
somewhat relieved that he was here to fight back against her mother if she needed it. There was never any question over her trust in Ben. She had never had any reason to doubt him in the past and that still hadn’t changed. The concern she had was more over her mother’s magical brainwashing skills and whether she had or was planning on going near him.

“
This place hasn’t changed much,” Ashley noted as she took in the familiar looking house.

The
same pictures were still perfectly hung against simple cream-coloured walls, and the black wrought iron banister was still weaving its way up the large and dominating staircase that sat off to the side of the foyer. Fresh flowers, lilac peonies no less, still sat in a square metallic vase on the centre of a circular stone table.

“You have a beautiful home,” Ben interrupted.

Her mother fixed her with a piercing glare before transforming into an award winning hostess. “Why thank you, Benjamin,” she smiled. “Would you like to come through to the sitting room? Your parents have arrived and are both waiting for you.”

“Y-Your parents are here?” Ashley pulled Ben off to the side as her mother turned and walked along the hallway. “Why are your parents here?” she hissed. “I only came here to get my phone back and then I’m going home.”

“I...”

“Benjamin? Where are you
, son?” A deep voice reverberated off the tiled floor, the sound growing nearer and nearer until a man that she assumed to be Ben’s father appeared. Dressed in a formal suit and clutching a Blackberry in his hand, he didn’t bear much resemblance to his son stood before him. “Well, you could have at least made an effort like Ashley...” His words towards Ben were harsh as his eyes admired Ashley’s appearance.

“
I’m sorry, dad. It’s no excuse I know, but I’ve not been able to change today.”

His father grimaced. “You’ll have to do...”

“Understood, sir,” Ben replied, stepping forward with Ashley at his side. “We are ready to introduce ourselves to you now.”