Broken Souls (10 page)

Crossing her arms over her chest, Ashley
started to get flustered. She knew that Ben wasn't planning on going anywhere until he had seen her walk through the door to her building. He was acting a little odd around her today. She knew it had something to do with their conversation on Saturday and the fact that she hadn’t admitted her feelings to him yet. But she still hadn’t made up her mind.

Between Marco and Ben, they had both been throwing
mixed signals towards her and she just couldn't keep up. It was utterly exhausting.

But she honestly
needed Ben to keep his distance at the moment. He was too sweet for a girl like her. He didn't deserve to be bogged down with all of the bullshit going on in her life. He just wouldn't understand how in-depth and draining it all could be. She was a crazy liability and didn't deserve him. But she didn’t know if she could let him go either.

Marco on the other hand,
he had been so different with her on a daily basis since his arrival a few days ago. One moment he was daring and flirty, and then the next, he was back to the friendly brother and sister banter that she didn’t want from him anymore.

Her feelings towards him
were shifting.

Underneath her clothes, goosebumps broke out over every inch of her skin. Her pulse throbbed uncomfortably as a craving to see
Marco again rose from within. His push and pull personality was keeping her on her toes, which she was starting to like.

“
It’s really cold. I’d better be going,” Ashley lied, backing away from him. Instantly she saw the disappointment in his eyes. “I’ll call you later?” she offered, trying to quell her guilty conscious.

Turning around, she pulled her electronic fob fr
om her pocket and buzzed into the building. Holding the handle, she flicked a glance over her shoulder at Ben. “I promise you that I haven’t forgotten. Please bear with me?”

Ben gave her a nod as he returned his hands to his coat pockets
.

Shame
stabbed at Ashley's chest with a rusty blade as she watched him retreat and walk from view. He wanted to be with her. She could read between the lines easily enough to see this from his actions and expressions. Despite everything that had happened with Gabby, he appeared keener than ever to win her affection.

She had no idea what she was going to do.

Her feelings for Marco were taking her by surprise, whereas her feelings towards Ben were still new and indescribable at this stage. Although, she had known both men for near enough the same amount of time, it was only recently that she had started seeing Ben as possibly something more.

They had moved past the boundary of being
simple friends that saw each other every now and then around a month ago. Ben had been the one to break the small talk between them one afternoon when she had been alone in the staff room. Gabby had disappeared to the bathroom leaving them completely to themselves.

Ben had poured himself a cup of coffee and wrapped his fingers tightly around the warm mug. Leaning back against the small counter
in the kitchenette, he had cleared his throat and stammered his way through asking her out on a date.

At first, she had been completely blown away by his offer. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined that Benjamin Goode would have wanted to
take her out on a date. He was way out of her league, which she also found to be part of the draw towards him. 

“
Cara
? What are you doing out in the hall?” Marco placed a hand against her lower back and steered her round to face him. “Have you been out?” he asked, flicking a glance over her warm clothes and chattering teeth. 

Ashley wasn't able to contain the blush that crept over her
cheeks. She could feel the skin on the back of her neck growing clammier by the minute. His touch was like magic... enough to ignite a thousand fires within her body.

“
I went out for lunch with a friend.” She had no idea why she called Ben a friend rather than by his name. It wasn’t as if she had anything to hide or be ashamed of, yet she felt uneasy speaking about him so freely.

“
Did you have fun?” Marco raised a suggestive eyebrow.

“
Not really,” she mumbled, casting her eyes to the ground.

She felt two fingers under her chin as Marc
o lifted her gaze back to his. “What happened?” he asked, his voice softening with concern.

A tremor slithered along the length of her spine
. “It was so horrible that I don’t want to talk about it. I just… couldn’t talk about her.”

“
It’s alright,” Marco soothed, wrapping his arm around her. “Let's go upstairs so I can change into some new clothes, and then we can talk about it further over some wine.”

She smiled
as he raised a suit bag and bottle into the air. Despite it being early afternoon, Ashley came to the conclusion that a glass of wine would certainly help to relieve some of the tension she could feel coiling deep within her muscles. “That sounds perfect,” she agreed, leaning warmly into his hold.

It surprised her that he hadn’t
yet mentioned the kiss from earlier this morning. If anything, he seemed to be carrying on like normal as if it hadn’t happened.

She was alright with this, but
a part of her knew it wouldn’t last long. They would have to discuss what happened at some point.

~

“Here you are,
cara
,” Marco said, pressing a glass of wine into her hand. He took his own glass and settled himself on the opposite side of the sofa. Crossing one leg over the other, he made himself comfortable and threw his arm behind the back of his head.

“Thank you,” she replied, taking a quick sip and bringing the glass back down to her lap. “Did you get everything sorted today?” She noticed his seemingly relaxed behaviour and wondered how well the funeral planning had gone. His spirits seemed a little more focused and determined than they had been over the past few days. Maybe this was a sign that things were perhaps sinking in.

“
I gave them a cheque and told them what I wanted, so I didn't have to hang around there longer than needed. I don't handle places like that very well at all. And now that I have paid them, they have promised me that Gabriela will receive the very best.” He took a long gulp of his wine and finished with an exaggerated sigh. “That's everything done now until next Monday at least.”

Ashley
stayed quiet, her fingers softly stroking the stem of her wine glass. She was deep in thought trying to understand Marco's logic. Perhaps he had refused her support today to hide his own weakness? Did he not want her to see such a vulnerable side of him?

“
What are you thinking about?” Marco murmured.

“
Just...nothing.”

Lifting her glass back to her lips, Ashley took another long gulp of wine as she continued to
contemplate his actions. Did he care about her that much that he was protecting her from the trauma of Gabby’s funeral?

If
it was true, then in theory, he was absolutely correct. She wasn't ready to face the truth yet as clearly evidenced in her meltdown earlier today at the restaurant. Maybe she was reading into his behaviour too far, when in reality, he was only caring for her like she had wanted all along. But was it still from pity, or was it genuinely because he felt that way? That was the million pound question that reoccurred within the tornado of thoughts in her mind.

Did Marco
actually
feel anything for her?

She knew that the answer wouldn't be straight forward here, and that
, as usual, she was again thinking way too far ahead on things. Perhaps he
was
only caring for her in a close friendship / sisterly manner, and not in the way her own mind was leading her to believe.

But what about t
he kiss they had shared?
Two
kisses even.

Alarm bells sounded in her head as she tried to piece everything together. There was definitely no way in hell that he was thinking about her like a sister. He wouldn't have kiss
ed her otherwise.

“
Bella, do you want me?”

“
W-What?”

“
I'm asking you if you want me.”

Unknowingly,
Ashley tightened her fingers around the stem of her glass as she remembered his words from the previous night. She had heard the tone of his voice; strong, sexy and lust filled.

There was a possibility that he wanted her for
her
and not just the warmth that her body could provide.

Encased deep within her mind, Ashley barely recognised the sound of glass against wood as Marco placed his wine onto the coffee table. She
felt the sofa dip slightly as his weight disappeared before coming back a few seconds later.

Marco cocked his head to one side as he flung his arm over th
e back of the sofa once again. “What are you thinking about?” The softness in his voice penetrated through to the core of her brain and helped to bring her from the darkened depths of her own thoughts. “Don't make me have to ask you for a third time,
bella
.”

Ashley didn't miss his endearment...
She loved it. He had called her beautiful in the past, but today, it didn't feel like he meant it in the same way. There was something about the way that it rolled from his tongue and sent goosebumps across every inch of her flesh.

She decided there and then that she
could sit and listen to Marco's voice for an eternity. She just loved the sound of his heavily laced accent as he spoke to her. It was rough and sexy, rolling from his tongue like a pure addiction, melting her insides and making her knees quiver.

Taking a further gulp of wine, Ashley placed her glass onto the coffee table. Turning towards him, she pulled her feet onto the sofa and wrapped her arms around her legs.

“I was just thinking that I would have liked to come with you today,” she mumbled into her knees. It wasn’t a complete lie. She had been thinking about that along with other things—like the kiss.

“
Did you really want to be involved that much?” he asked, his voice turning serious.

“
I wanted to help take the load off you.”

Marco sighed and shuffled himself across the sofa towards her. Resting his hands on her drawn up knees, he lowered his head to the
small cavity she had created. “I told you last night that I didn't want you to have to go through this as well,
cara
,” he whispered.

The sweet
and fruity scent of the wine blew across her mouth from his breath. Partly opening her lips, Ashley breathed in the smell and closed her eyes. The connection between them was back once again. It was burning just as strong as it had been last night and this morning.

“
It isn't fair for me to put you in that position. I purposely didn’t take you because I didn't know how you would handle things...and I didn't know how I was going to be either,” he continued. “I'll be honest and tell you that next Monday will possibly be the worst thing that I’ll ever have to do. Nothing will ever compare to it, which is why I am giving you time, Ashley. I am going to
really
need you next week, so I want you to have time to become stronger... to help me.” A tear escaped Marco's eye and gently rolled across his cheek as he opened himself up to her.

Fighting against her own emotions, Ashley reached towards his face. Hesitating at first, she
brushed her thumb against his tear and wiped it away while resisting the urge to smother him with her own comforting warmth.

“
I want to be here for you,” she whispered, lifting her head fully from her knees to look at him. “We don't have anyone but ourselves to help through this, Marco. We are two broken souls that need to heal and find themselves again.”

Registering her words, he slo
wly nodded with understanding. “You’re right,
cara
. We do need to find ourselves again... It isn’t going to be easy, but we will help each other. Our lives can’t just stop, so we must find a way to balance the two.” He looked around the room before meeting her eyes once again. “Why don’t we start the healing process tonight and go out for some drinks later?”

Ashl
ey pulled away. “What? You want to go out?” She couldn't hide the panic in her voice. “Do you really think it’s a good idea? I mean, wouldn't it look inconsiderate?” She pressed him with questions in the hopes of changing his mind. The last thing she wanted to do was go out drinking. The accident was too fresh in her mind.

“
You’ll be fine,” Marco tried to reassure her. “We’ll just go out for a few drinks to take both our minds off of things for a while. Even if it only clears it for an hour at most, it’ll be worth it for those sixty minutes of feeling like your problems have disappeared.”