Broken (Soldiers of Darkness MC Book 1) (14 page)

‘Good.’ His mouth twists up into that smirk again, and I feel my stomach relax. For now. ‘You start tomorrow. Get here for six, and I’ll take a look at you on stage before we open up proper.’

I get dressed, my heart beating so hard I can only hope he doesn’t hear it.

‘Destiny?’

I was almost out the door there, but his voice stops me in my tracks and I slowly turn back around. ‘Yeah?’

‘There’s something about you I like.’

I don’t know whether that makes me feel better or worse. I guess I was kind of hoping he’d feel something akin to indifference, so that he didn’t pay all that much attention to me. And once again I realize how naïve I’ve been. I’m putting it out there in front of men who take what they want without always asking permission. I have no choice anymore.

I’ve made it that way.

I’ve set my own path.

Whatever it takes, remember?

Chapter Fifteen

Mack

‘Where’ve you been?’ I ain’t seen her since I fucked her in the clubhouse two nights ago, and I’m freakin’ pissed off. She’s my old lady now, my property, and she ain’t behaving like she understands that.

‘I’m sorry, did I leave my electronic tag behind?’

She’s got a smart mouth on her, and I’m not in the mood for games right now. I grab her arm and slam her back against the wall, but she fucking knows how to fight back and before I can draw breath she’s slapped me so hard I can still feel her hand on my cheek, even after she’s pulled it away. And her eyes – man, she ain’t taking no shit. And it’s making me hard,
Jesus!
This woman is
killing
me!

‘I asked you if you understood what it meant, me fucking you in front of the club. You remember that, darlin’?’

‘I understand enough, Mack. OK? I belong to you, I’m your property, I get that. And I know exactly what that means. I just wasn’t aware it also meant I had to be glued to your fucking side twenty-four-seven.’

I grab her arm again and she doesn’t fight me this time. But those eyes… she is freakin’ pulling me under with those eyes! ‘It don’t mean that… Listen, Izzi…’ I drop my head, because my brain just closed off there. I can’t remember what the hell I was gonna say. ‘Where’ve you been, darlin’?

Her eyes soften slightly, and I reach out to gently stroke her cheek, her skin smooth beneath my fingers. I want to kiss her; until my mouth aches, I want to kiss her. But she needs to know the rules.

‘You don’t just disappear without letting me know where you’re going, baby, you got that?’

‘I wasn’t aware
 
part of the deal involved you keeping me prisoner.’

She ain’t making this easy, and for a brief moment I wonder why the hell I’m putting up with this shit. I gotta whole line of women out there who’d be more than happy to do as they’re told if it means they get to fuck me on a regular basis. Like I said before, no woman ever had the pleasure of my cock inside them more than once. They think there’s a chance of that happening, they’ll be beating down my freakin’ door. Yet I’m here, arguing with this complicated, unpredictable girl who is fighting me every step of the way, and I don’t want to be any place else. She’s bad for me on so many levels I can’t even begin to think about it. But I need her. I crave the challenge she represents. So far she’s paid no attention to the rules and it’s such a fucking turn-on…

‘I just want to make sure you’re safe, Izzi. Word could still be out there about what you came here to do, and if Viper’s crew get wind of anything…’

She’s shut me up with a kiss. And I ain’t gonna stop her. She tastes of raspberries and cigarette smoke and my cock is yelling at me to set it free and send it home. But I kinda just want to stay here awhile, and kiss her. I had no idea kissing could be so freakin’ exciting! Man, who the hell
am
I?

‘I’m sorry, OK?’

Her mouth rests against mine as she speaks, and I slide a hand into the small of her back and rub it gently. ‘You gotta be careful, baby. I’m only tryin’ to look out for you.’ Which is sort-of true. But in reality I hate not knowing where she is. I hate thinking she could be with other men. I hate feeling this way, because it’s strange and I just ain’t used to it. I can’t control what’s going on in my head, and for me that ain’t right.

‘Want me to show you how sorry I am?’

She’s looking at me with eyes that are promising me something I ain’t gonna turn down, even though I should. I should be showing her who’s controlling this relationship because, right at this very second, it ain’t me. It’s her. And my cock. They’re both winning this fight, I’m not even in the running.

She doesn’t wait for my answer, because she doesn’t need to. She knows my weakness, and even though there’s a part of me that’s angry at myself for making it that obvious, I can’t stop it from happening. She’s on her knees, for fuck’s sake, right there in front of me. She’s unzipping my jeans and…
Oh, Jesus-fucking-Christ!
She’s got my cock in her hand and she’s gripping it tight, flicking her tongue over the tip a few times before she finally takes me in her mouth, and the urge to thrust it hard down her throat is all-consuming. But I hold back, and let her do the work.

I close my eyes and bury my fingers in her hair as she sucks me off, pulling me in deeper, doing tricks with her tongue that mean I have to use every ounce of willpower I have to hold off from coming within seconds. But, man, it’s hard! And I can’t watch her doing this. If I take even one quick glance at my cock thrusting in and out of her mouth I’m gonna come. And I ain’t ready yet.

But as she takes me deep, so deep I know I can’t go any further, I’m all in there, the floodgates open, and I shoot everything I fucking have down her beautiful throat. And this girl ain’t got no gag reflex because she takes it all; everything. She’s swallowing me down like the smoothest bourbon, and that’s so freakin’ hot!

But I still don’t know where she’s been. Two days, and I heard nothing from her.

‘Am I forgiven?’ she asks, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as she pulls herself to her feet. And even that’s a turn-on, watching her wipe my cum off her face.

‘Where’d you go, Izzi? For two whole days…’

‘Forget it.’

She turns to leave, and all I can do is stand there and sigh. And watch her go – what the
fuck…
?

‘Two days, Izzi.’

She stops in her tracks and turns back around to face me. ‘I just needed some space, Mack. OK? All of this, I’m scared. I don’t always want to admit it, but I’m fucking scared, all right?’

That kinda stuns me into silence. She don’t strike me as someone who gets scared. But then, look at me. I’ve been seconds away from death and been less terrified than I am when I’m around her.

‘I just needed a bit of time to get my head around everything.’

‘Tell me the truth, Izzi. Are you really making plans to go home? Are you really gonna leave here?’

She throws me a small, weak smile and once more that urge to just wrap my arms around her and hold her close overwhelms me.

‘Eventually. Yes.’

‘Why not now? I mean, you ain’t going after Viper’s crew no more, so…’

She walks back over to me and she takes my hand and places it between her tits, and I feel her heart beating hard against my palm.

‘I can’t leave, Mack. Not yet. I’m not done.’

I frown. That was a pretty ambiguous thing to say. ‘Not done…? No… Jesus, Izzi, don’t tell me…’

‘I’m not done with
you
.’

My frown deepens. But I know exactly what’s happening now.

‘I’m not finished here, Mack.’

And she kisses me again, and this time it’s
my
heart that’s beating hard, my hand still resting against her chest. I know what’s happening, and I just ain’t sure I can let it.

‘Izzi…’

She pulls back and shakes her head, pressing her fingertips to my lips. ‘Out of everything that’s happening here, Mack, what I feel for you – that’s the most terrifying thing of all. Because it’s too soon. I’m not over Aiden, and I loved him so much, so fucking much…’ Her eyes lock with mine, and they’re filled with a sudden, heartbreaking amount of sadness that just wipes all that other shit I felt when she turned up here after two days of nothing clean away. All of that’s just become pointless. ‘I feel like I’m betraying him, Mack.’

I don’t know what to say. I really don’t have a fucking clue. I ain’t ever been in this situation before so how the hell am I supposed to know what to say to her? So I say nothing. I just pull her into my arms and hold her, and she clings onto me, and that confuses me even more because, so far, she’s been this ball-busting chick with attitude who ain’t afraid to face up to anyone, no matter who they are. But this – this suddenly fills me with a whole new kinda fear.

I rest my chin on the top of her head as I continue to just hold her. But I know I have to broach this subject, because it ain’t gonna go away.

‘Izzi?’ I mumble it quietly into her hair. I don’t want this to turn into a fight. And she responds by squeezing my waist, but she stays silent. ‘You’re still going after Viper’s crew.’ I phrase that as a fact, not a question. Because I already know the answer. And she don’t even flinch, I feel no movement from her. Her body doesn’t stiffen in the slightest, which would have been one hell of a giveaway. But she don’t even flinch.

‘No, Mack. I’m not.’

She pulls back from me and runs her thumb lightly over my slightly open mouth, her eyes following it as she does so. And I’m more confused than ever now.

‘I want to be with
you
, Mack. I
want
to be your old lady. That’s why I’m still here. That’s why I haven’t made any plans to go home just yet. I stayed because I wanted to see if these feelings – I wanted to see if they were real. Because so much hasn’t felt real these past few weeks… I stayed because I needed to know.’

I don’t know whether to be shit-scared of the way this is going, or pleased that I’m hearing her say she feels something for me. Because I feel something for her, I just ain’t got a clue what the hell it is. But whatever it is, I’m fighting it. I can’t
be
this way with her, I can’t do it. I can’t let myself become involved in a way that could see me take my eye off the ball. But Izzi, she’s… she’s something else. And I need her. I don’t know why, I really don’t, because I’ve spent my whole life needing nothing but the Soldiers of Darkness, and a random fuck with the club whore
 
of my choice. All I ever had to do was click my fingers and some mama would come running with their panties already round their ankles. But now… now I just want
her
.

‘Mack?’

‘I don’t know what to say, Izzi.’

She tucks a finger under my chin and lifts my head back up. I hadn’t even realized I’d dropped it, but I must have done.

‘I didn’t expect this to happen, OK? It was the last thing I wanted, to feel anything for a man like you.’ I’m sure that ain’t a compliment, but I know what she means. This still ain’t her world, no matter how comfortable she may appear to be in it. ‘I didn’t expect it, and I didn’t want it…’

She pulls away from me and steps back, and I don’t know how to respond. This is all crazy-shit to me. I’m way out of my comfort zone here. I can face up to a gang of gun-wielding bastards with my fucking eyes closed, but this – I don’t know if I can do
this
.

‘I’m tired. I should probably go home.’

She looks down at the ground and pushes a hand through her hair, and I can feel something, an atmosphere I ain’t ever experienced before but it’s here, in the air, filling the room, wrapping itself around me. And then she raises her head and her eyes lock with mine and the realization slams into me so hard I can’t breathe.

I think I’m falling in love with this girl.

And I saw it coming. But I didn’t stop it.

I’m fucked.

Izzi

I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have told him anything. But it was like something had suddenly snapped inside me; like I’d opened my own Pandora’s Box and no matter how hard I wanted to, I couldn’t get the lid back on.

What makes it all the more frightening is that it’s true. The way I feel about Mack Slayer, it’s gone way beyond just needing him to think I’m his. I think I might actually want to
be
his. But I know that can never happen, because of what I still plan to do. We have no future together, because once I’ve taken my revenge on Viper’s crew I’m out of here. I’ll have to go, I’ll have no choice. I’ll be leaving
North Carolina
behind and heading home for a future I’m not even sure I want anymore.