Broken (Soldiers of Darkness MC Book 1) (11 page)

Mack Slayer.

Biker bastard.

And I can’t get him out of my head.

Mack

She’s setting that fucking stage alight. Every sway of her hips, every dip she makes; every time she slides down that pole and bends her body in ways that I hope to Christ she’s gonna recreate when I get her alone, the guys go freakin’ wild! They can’t take their eyes off her, and I know more than a few of them are gonna try their luck with her later. They’re gonna hound her backstage, and promise her they can all give her the ride of her life, but nobody can deliver that promise like I can. She ain’t gonna fall for their crap. She’s coming straight to me.

But, hell, I’m sure getting a freakin’ kick out of watching her up there. She’s just exposed those perfect tits of hers, and the room’s almost vibrating with appreciative cheers. But she’s yet to show them that pussy, all soft and shaved and wet…
Shit!
I really need to control my cock when I’m watching her out here. But knowing I’ve been in there, it’s killing me, man! I fucking ache to get back inside her.

‘Where’d you find this one, Mack?’

I briefly tear my eyes away from Izzi to see Boyd, my road captain, leering at the stage like he ain’t ever seen a woman strip up there before.

‘She came to me,’ I reply, turning my attention back to Izzi, just in time to see her tear off her bikini panties, her back against the pole as she slides down it, spreading her legs as she sinks to her haunches and I swear the roof nearly comes off the place, the noise is so fucking loud!

She drops a hand and slowly strokes herself.
Jesus!
Ain’t no girl ever had the balls to jerk off in front of this crowd on their first night, but she’s pushing that envelope, and it’s taking every ounce of strength I have not to drag her off that stage and plunge my cock right into that wet pussy.

‘Shit, Mack…’ Boyd groans, and out the corner of my eye I see him place a hand over his bulging crotch. ‘She is fucking
hot
, man!
Shit!
I gotta get to the bathroom and knock one out…’

I lean back against the wall and take a long swig of beer, my eyes still on Izzi, and I watch as she briefly slides two fingers inside herself, throws the crowd a shit-hot smile and winks before she withdraws her fingers and sucks on them slowly. She knows how to play with people, and she is gonna have them packing this place out in the days to come, and I can’t tell you how smug that makes me feel. I’m boning her on a regular basis, but no fucker gets to know that. Like I said, I gotta reputation to keep up. But I need that girl like I need air to breathe.

She’s my fucking weakness.

My drug.

But I know what she’s up to. So I need to satisfy my dick then stop thinking with it. Otherwise shit is gonna kick up I might not be able to control. And I really can’t take that risk.

Izzi

I should feel dirty; cheap. I should feel used and exposed and sick to my stomach after what I’ve just done. But I don’t. I feel exhilarated, I feel high, like I’ve just taken some weird concoction of drugs; like I’m floating on air.

And now I’m up against the wall in Mack’s office, my legs wrapped around his hips as he fucks me hard, fucks me fast, because he was watching me up there. And I was doing it all for him, every move I made, it was for him. When I touched myself in front of all those people; exposed those very private places to everyone I was thinking of him. And I still don’t know whether that makes me feel sick or excited. Or both.

‘You did good, baby girl,’ he murmurs as he thrusts into me, and I cling on tight, my fingers digging into his shoulders as he slams me back against the wall. ‘You did so fucking good…
Jesus!
’

He’s coming, but I’m not there yet. Not that it matters. He’ll get me off, eventually. I’m not here for a quick fuck and run, and he better believe that.
I’m
in control. He’s just got to think
he
is, and everything’ll be OK.

He’s done, but it’s a second or two before he withdraws and lowers me down, resting his forehead against my shoulder as he tries to regain some kind of steady breathing. ‘You can go now,’ he says, pulling away from me, and I look at him. He isn’t going to treat me like he treats all the others, that is
not
going to happen. It can’t.

‘That’s it?’ I grab his hand and swing him around. The strength I don’t realize I have sometimes surprises me. ‘I’m not one of your whores, Mack.’

He pushes me back against the wall and his hand flies to my neck and for a fleeting second a moment of fear consumes me. I shouldn’t underestimate Mack Slayer. He’s a one percenter, a dangerous man. That’s why I turned to him in the first place. My only mistake was not walking away the second he decided he couldn’t help me anymore. I stuck around, decided to start a new game, because I need this man. More than I’m ever going to admit, and for reasons I’m not going to face up to. I need him. But he’s dangerous. And I need to remember that.

‘That’s exactly what you are, darlin’. You’re nothing but a filthy whore who loves the attention, and don’t ever forget that.’

I yank his hand off me, my eyes staring right into his, and we’re both fired up and angry and that’s only going to end one way. So it’s no surprise when he swings me around and bends me over, using his knee to spread my legs before he pushes into me so hard I can’t help but cry out. He’s hurting me, and I like it. He’s hurting me, and I crave that pain. But at the same time I feel his hand move around and touch my clit, rubbing it gently, which is so at odds with his wild, painful thrusts, and I can barely keep my knees from buckling beneath me.

He keeps rubbing, keeps thrusting, until I come in a mess of screams and cries, and he comes too, just seconds after me. This fucked-up situation isn’t going to get any clearer, I know that. We’re allowing sex to cloud everything, but I know how to handle it. I know, I do. I can handle this.

I only hope that he can’t.

Or I’m making the biggest mistake of my life.

One that could prove fatal…

Chapter Eleven

Mack

‘We still good?’

Viper nods and throws another envelope bulging with cash down onto the table before lighting up and dragging deep on his cigarette. ‘You got yourself some good men in your club, brother. Trustworthy men. And they’re hard to come by in this business.’

I open the envelope and quickly flick through the notes. ‘Yeah. They are.’ I walk over to the safe at the other end of the room and crouch down to open it, placing the envelope inside before closing the heavy metal door. ‘What do you need us to do next?’

‘Got a shipment of weapons coming in from the Far East next week. A couple of your guys as drivers would be a big help. I need all my men to do the loading.’

‘I gotta couple of men who’ll be perfect – Jackson and Dex. You know ‘em?’

‘I know ‘em. They got experience.’

‘Been part of this club a long time.’

Viper takes another deep drag on his cigarette, his expression hard, and I know it ain’t no act. He don’t put that shit on, he was born that way. Just like I was. We were brought up outlaws; it’s all we know. Izzi is different. She may be able to handle herself in a way I ain’t seen no kid handle themselves before in this shit-hole of a world we live in, but she don’t understand it. She never will. She keeps on telling me she ain’t got no plans to go all out war on Viper and his crew, but I ain’t sure I believe her. And Viper, he don’t care whether it’s a man or a woman who wrongs him and his brothers. He don’t discriminate. Someone fucks him over, they die. There ain’t no way outta that. So I’m gonna stick to hoping she really has changed her mind, but I still ain’t convinced. ‘Next Tuesday. We’re meeting over at the boxing club, 9.30pm.’

I watch as he stubs his half-smoked cigarette out on the edge of the table and I want to swipe his scrawny, tattooed hand away for doing that. It’s a small but not unnoticed sign of disrespect. He’s trying to show me who has the upper hand here, but no one has. It’s a straight-up agreement we have. Fifty-fifty. He starts forgetting that, and we got a problem. ‘They’ll be there.’

He grins like the cocky motherfucker he is before he gets up and leaves, and I walk over to the window and look outside, out into the compound. Everyone seems to be hanging around here today. I guess nobody got much else to do, and now we got ourselves some decent, regular cash rolling in, that sense of urgency seems to have disappeared, to be replaced by a more settled calm. If calm is ever the right word to use around this place.

‘The door was open. Is it OK…?’

I swing around so fast I nearly lose my balance. ‘Yeah. Yeah, come in.’ After the way I treat her the other night I’m surprised to see her here. She really has got some balls, I gotta give her that. ‘You need me for something?’

She hovers in the doorway, and I’m sensing a slightly nervous air about her today, one I’m not sure she means to expose. ‘I need to talk, Mack.’

‘Oh yeah? What about?’

‘Us.’

I make a crap job of keeping the surprised look off my face, but I wasn’t aware there was such a thing as “us”. I fuck her, she likes it, we get on with our lives. And even as I think the words I know they’re only something I want my head to believe, because my fucked-up heart is feeling something completely different. Something completely alien. And I just don’t want to face up to it. So I don’t say anything, because I don’t know what
to
say.

She walks over to me, her body visibly relaxing the closer she gets. I want to reach out and grab her, pull her to me and… I just want to hold her. And that thought scares the living crap outta me like nothing ever has before. I’ve had guns in my face, knives held to my throat and I’ve felt less terrified than I do right now.

‘You know the reason I’m still here, Mack…’ She reaches out and touches my cut, running her fingers over the rough, battered leather. ‘I saw him, just now. I saw Viper.’

‘You know who he is?’

‘I know a lot more than you give me credit for.’

‘Did he see
you
?’

She shakes her head, and I don’t know whether to feel relieved or nervous. Half the time I don’t know what the fuck to feel anymore.

‘Izzi…’

She puts her fingers to my lips, instantly shutting me down. Like I said, she got balls.

‘I came back here wanting to blow that bastard and his crew’s brains out. I didn’t even care which ones, in the end, I just wanted two of his people to die in return for them taking the lives of the people I loved. Because he might as well have taken
my
life, too, that night. I just wanted to make him suffer; make him feel anger and pain and senseless loss. But, you know, I don’t think it would bother him. He’s that cold I don’t think he’d care. So why should I waste my time on something I won’t even gain any satisfaction from?’

She’s talking a whole heap of sense here, and I want to believe she means what’s she’s saying, I really do…

‘I’m staying because of
you
, Mack.’

I still don’t know what to say. I don’t know what she means. I’m so fucked-up when it comes to women.

‘I’m staying because something’s happening here, and I don’t know what it is…’ She slides a hand around the back of my neck, her fingers stroking my skin; she’s playing me, I know that, and yet I can’t push her away. I can’t fucking do it. ‘… but you feel it too, Mack. Don’t you?’

Her mouth is so close to mine; they’re almost touching.

‘You feel it too.’

I don’t know
what
I feel anymore. Since this girl crash-landed into my fucking life I ain’t been able to think straight. And that’s the first time I’ve admitted that, but it’s true. I go to sleep thinking about her and I wake up with her still on my mind. And no woman has ever made me feel that way. Ever. I wanted to avoid that, I never wanted it to happen. But it has. She’s fucked with my head, and she got me. Nothing has ever brought me to my knees before, not one fucking thing. But
she
has.

‘Make me forget why I came here, Mack. Give me a reason to back off. Give me something to live for.’

It’s like I’m working on some kinda auto-pilot here as I wrap my arms around her and hold her close. I ain’t ever held a woman like this before, and I’m fucking scared, man. The shit going on in my head right now, I’m freaking out!

‘I guess I’d better get to work, huh? I don’t want to get on the wrong side of my boss, do I?’ She smiles, and I don’t want to let her go, I don’t. So I pull her back against me, and I kiss her in a way I ain’t ever kissed a woman before. Her mouth’s soft against mine, her body submitting like a rag doll in my arms and I regret those times I fucked her like she meant nothing. She means
some
thing. I just got no idea what. ‘I’m with Cora tonight,’ she whispers, her eyes searching mine, but I don’t know what she’s looking for. I got nothing. ‘You going to be there?’

What? Miss watching her and Cora getting it on? No freakin’ way! ‘You bet your beautiful ass I’m gonna be there, darlin’.’

She smiles again, and I need a fucking drink so bad… hell, I need a bottle! ‘Everything I’ve said, Mack… do you understand what I mean?’

No. I don’t understand a fucking thing, I’m lost here. I’m drowning. ‘You really ain’t gonna go gunning for Viper’s crew? ‘Cause you gotta understand, baby, that I’m finding that hard to believe.’

She reaches out and touches my cheek, her thumb running lightly over my lower lip, her eyes burning deep into mine and I feel my stomach twist up. ‘Then give me a reason to drop my vendetta. If you think I’m lying…’

‘I didn’t say you were lying…’

‘If you think I’m spinning you crap – if you really think I’m still gonna pull some kind of crazy shit, then give me a reason to put it behind me. Give me a reason to stop looking back; a reason to move forward, because without you I’ve got nothing, Mack. I’ve got nothing.’

‘Baby, I…’

She kisses me before I can get another word out, and that’s fine, because I ain’t got a clue what to tell her. I need this girl; I want this girl. I fucking
want
her.

‘I’ll see you at
Laney’s
.’ She pulls away from me and throws me one last smile. A few days ago I wouldn’t have let her leave without fucking her first, but I don’t feel the need right now. I know I’ll fuck her, later. I don’t need to do it here.

‘Izzi?’

She turns around, and her pretty face… man, she looks so young and innocent –
Jesus!
What the fuck is going on in my messed-up head?

‘I’m gonna give you a hundred fucking reasons, darlin’.’

A hundred fucking reasons.

And she better start counting.

Izzi

I smile to myself as I walk away from the meeting room. I’ve got him, hook, line and sinker. Was I really spinning him shit in there? To some extent, yes. I was. Am I staying because of him? Yes, and no. Mack Slayer is under my skin now, and I like him being there. He makes me feel alive, for the first time in so long, and I need that. He makes me forget. But I also need to remember. Aiden and my father deserve some kind of retribution. I can’t just walk away from here and do nothing.

I know what I’m doing.

I can control my feelings for Mack Slayer.

They won’t get in the way.

I know what I’m doing…