Broken Rules (22 page)

 “I can’t Marco! I can’t have sex. Not for
another month!” Alex yelled as she pushed him away.

Marco scrunched up his face, realizing there was
much more to this that Alex wasn’t saying. “Why, Alexandra?” his voice low and
stern.

Alex looked up at him and felt defeated. She knew
she had to tell him. There was no way she’d be able to get away with not.

 “Because I had an abortion last week, that’s
why.”

Marco’s face fell and he actually stumbled. It was
as if she had physically hit him with those words. “You what?” was all he could
ask.

Alex shook her head and rolled her eyes, “Do you
really want me to say it again?” by now, her tone was a mixture of exhaustion
and resignation.

 “And you didn’t even tell me? Or ask me? You
went behind my back and did this?”

 “Marco, there wasn’t anything to ask you. I
know I don’t want children. There is no question in my mind, so there was
nothing to ask you. It’s my body, my choice.”

 “But it was my b—“

Before he could finish the word, Alex cut him off,
“Marco, it was your sperm, and it was a fetus. And I wasn’t about to ruin my
life, or your life, because we were irresponsible a couple of times.”

 “That’s what you think it would be? Having a
child with me would ruin your life?”

 “Marco, I don’t know how else to say this: I
don’t want children.”

 “But I love you Alexandra.” He pleaded, like
that was going to change anything.

 “You can’t love me, Marco. I just broke your
heart. And we don’t want the same things. We don’t live in the same world. You
just can’t love me.”

As hurt as Marco was, he still had the strength to
ask, “Can you really tell me that you don’t love me?”

Alex wasn’t ready for that question. But she knew
the answer. And it didn’t matter. “I’m not saying that, Marco. But this isn’t
the movies. Love doesn’t conquer all.”

Marco shook his head, looking down, collecting his
thoughts, and when he looked back up at her, he actually scared her. “No,
Alexandra, it doesn’t. So maybe you love me, but you obviously don’t respect
me. Because if you did, you would have told me you were pregnant.” He looked
down again, and this time, when he looked back up, he had tears in his eyes. “I
respect you enough to understand your choice, your feelings.” He shook his head
again. “I cannot believe you didn’t even tell me.”

 “What difference would it have made, Marco?
Huh? If I told you, you would have tried to talk me out of it.”

 “You have a crystal ball now, Alexandra?”

She couldn’t blame him for being a prick, but she
hated his tone nonetheless. “Marco, you don’t take no for an answer. Every time
I’ve tried to tell you that I want something different, you convince me to do
it your way.”

 “Like what? Like every time you get scared
and try to run away, I show you that I love you and that you’re safe with me
and that being together is good, or was good, for both of us? All this time,
you’ve only been with me because I’ve ‘convinced’ you?” he spat out, using air
quotes.

 “You know that’s not true.”

 “Well then what is it that I’ve made you do?
Hmmm? What!?”

 “Does it really matter what I say at this
point?” Alex asked and Marco just looked at her, knowing that, in fact, it
didn’t.

 “You said a while ago that it shouldn’t be
this difficult, at least not at the beginning. And you said we keep taking one
step forward and two steps back. And you know what, Alexandra, congratulations,
you’re right. On both counts.”

Marco started towards the door, and then turned
back to Alex one more time. “I would have supported your decision, Alexandra. I
would have been there for you.” he shook his head. “I thought you knew me.”

And with that, he walked out.

Alex’s life went back to ‘normal’, as in pre-Marco
normal. Without going into why, she let Kara know that she and Marco had split
up and once again, asked her to keep her busy with shoots. Kara kept up her end
of the bargain and left Alex with little time to do much else for the better
part of a month. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean that her mind was always
occupied. She couldn’t believe just how much she missed being with him. She
tried to reconcile that it would have ended at some point, that there was no
real future for them, and that ending it after a few months was better than… oh
hell, it didn’t really matter when they ended it, just that it was no more.
Alex tried to put on a brave face, but those around her, especially Jesús, knew
she was hurting. 

And this time, even Kara didn’t push for
information. She had never seen Alex like this before. As much as she wanted to
know what was wrong, what she wanted more was to see her friend be ok. But
every time they talked, it was clear she was far from getting there.

Alex couldn’t help but wonder if she were wrong
about thinking that things should have been easier with Marco. She wondered, if
it were easy, then would any of it have been worth it? She knew it couldn’t
possibly have hurt so much if it had been easy, if she didn’t care so damn
much. Alex had little relationship experience to draw upon. While her
relationship with Jesús was of a different nature, it was the antithesis of
easy. It was a challenge from the start, and while it took a long time for them
to get to where they were today, although they still had their issues from time
to time, it was one of the most meaningful, rewarding relationships in Alex’s
life, and she knew that if it had been easy, then what she got out of it would
likely pale in comparison.

It didn’t help that shortly after they broke up,
the Vanity Fair issue finally came out, pouring salt on wounds that were still
fresh and raw.

Alex got an advanced copy of the magazine. They
chose the shot of Marco in the tub in his tux for the cover. But almost all of
the other shots were used throughout the article. Seeing them was like a trip
down memory lane. There was the shot of him in the pool with the rubber
duckies, him with his dogs, on the beach with the sea lions, with his family
cooking, in the bar with Ceci. Each photo had meaning for her, and she found
herself smiling as she looked at them. Never before had a shoot become so
personal. Then Alex started reading the article.

VF
: It was hard not to be disarmed by Marco
Flores’ stunning good looks, irresistible charm and natural charisma. But the
more I’ve come to know him, the more it’s clear that his rise to fame isn’t
just because of all of the above, though, they certainly don’t hurt. It seems
as though he’s somewhat of a rare breed in Hollywood. As far as this writer
could tell, there’s substance beneath all that style. Over the course of the
interviews I did with him, both at his home in Los Angeles as well as his
family’s home in the Galapagos Islands, he seemed open, honest and sincere. He
didn’t seem to take the Hollywood machine too terribly seriously, not to say
that he doesn’t appreciate everything that it has so far afforded him. In fact,
the only area where he wasn’t more than solicitous was when it came to his love
life.

But we’ll start with where it all began, on a tiny
island in the Galapagos chain called San Cristobol. I was glad I did that part
of the interview second so that I could first get to know the man he has become,
and then meet the women who shaped his life.

Alex continued to read and Tiffany seemed to do a
good job capturing the Marco she had come to know. Then again, he was an easy
subject. She was right about him being open and honest, which only made it
easier for the writer. When she got to the question about romance, she was
relieved and impressed with how tactfully he handled it.

VF: It’s clear what a strong influence your
mother, grandmother and sisters have played on your upbringing. Being
surrounded by a houseful of women, do you think it’s influenced your
relationship choices?

MF: Well, I imagine it’s influenced all of my
choices, not just relationships. It’s what I know.

VF: Speaking of relationships, there have been
plenty of different women seen on your arm over the past few years, but you’ve
never been officially linked to any of them. Is that on purpose? Is there
anyone special in your life?

MF: You know, it’s flattering that there is so
much interest in my personal life that this article is even being done on me.
It’s all still a bit overwhelming. It wasn’t that long ago that I was just a
tour guide. So there are still a lot of things that I’m getting used to. Having
shared so much with you and your readers is, well, it’s nice that I have a
chance to show people, those who are interested at least, that I’m more than
just a pretty face. (Here he flashed that award-winning smile, as if driving
the point of his pretty face home.) But I think there are some things that
should remain private. You’ve met my mother and grandmother! Dios! Can you
imagine them reading about my love life? (Marco laughed here)

VF:
It was true, especially for his grandmother
Patricia. It was easy to imagine her handily chastising her Adonis grandson for
what she would likely see as airing laundry that no one should see. And, it was
hard not to respect how artfully he dodged the question. He’s clearly learned
from his albeit short career in Hollywood, how to successfully navigate the
press. Perhaps that’s just one more of his secrets to success: evasion without
insult. To the untrained eye, he seemed to easily laugh off questions he wished
to avoid. But, when one looked a little deeper, what could be seen was
incredible self-restraint and control. He never once lost his cool during the
interviews, and according to all the people he’s worked with, they’d never seen
anything other than a professional, all-around good man, wrapped in a perfect
package.

Alex knew about love and loss, but no amount of
knowledge or past experience could have prepared her for just how much she
missed him. While their relationship wasn’t perfect, it had become such a big
part of her life that now, its absence was just as defining. Reading the Vanity
Fair article and looking at all the photos, she was reminded of just what an
amazing man and family she had met, and just how much they had all come to mean
to her. But none of that mattered anymore. She knew that she screwed up, an
understatement, and hurt him irrevocably. Beyond that, she knew first hand that
their actual life together was far different than the perfect pictures and tidy
summary of his life that the article portrayed. She tried to make it work.
Perhaps not hard enough, but she opened herself up to something that she had
vowed she never would. And she was glad she did. While it was cut too short,
she could see that now, still she wouldn’t give up that experience for the
world.

Alex knew she’d be ok as she put the magazine,
cover side down, on her desk. She cherished that time together enough that she
wouldn’t throw the magazine away, but that didn’t mean she needed to see his
perfect image staring up at her. She would get over him, eventually. She just
needed time to let the wound heal, time where there were no articles about him,
no memories of their time shoved in her face, time away from all things Marco.
At least, that’s what she kept telling herself, that in time, she’d feel better.
Distance and time, it was a mantra she said over and over again.

And then James Willen called.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’ve been
avoiding me, Alex.” James said, hitting the nail on the head. Of course, Alex
would never say as much.

She laughed and tried her best to play it off,
“Oh, James, you know how it is. Work’s been crazy busy. I’m sorry I never got
back to you. Every time I picked up the phone to call, something else came up.”

 “I do know how it is, Alex. I’ve actually been
in and out of town getting ready for my next movie. I was going to call you
again, but I figured if you were interested, you would have phoned me back.”

Alex felt a pang of guilt, but she wasn’t that
worried about James Willen’s feelings. He was a big boy and she was pretty sure
he had his pick of women to choose from.

 “But you’re calling now…” Alex said.

 “Purely business, Alex. I wanted to call you
directly after I saw the Vanity Fair issue with Marco Flores.” He paused and
just hearing Marco’s name made Alex’s heart start beating faster.

 “You know, he’s playing the lead in my new
film,
Where The Truth Lies
, and after I saw what you were able to get
out of him, I knew you were the only photographer I wanted for the ad and
marketing shoot.”

Alex heard his words, but equally loud was the
sound of her heart pounding in her own ears.

 “Alex, you there?” James asked, bringing
Alex back to reality.

 “Sorry, James, yeah, I’m here. And thank
you, wow, that’s quite a compliment.”

 “I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true. I’ve
gotten to know him a little bit over these last few weeks, and he plays his
cards closer to his vest than I would have thought. Somehow, you were able to
capture a side of him that I haven’t seen yet. We’re still in the pre-pro
stage, and I’m confident that he’ll come out of his shell once we start
shooting, but my schedule’s booked all through production and then I’m already
out of the country after we’re scheduled to wrap, so I want to do the shoot
now, while I’m still in town.”

 “Oh, ok. Um, are you working with an agency?
Are there approved concepts? Or are you looking for my input?”

 “I’m working with Sam Davis again. After her
last campaign, I wouldn’t trust anyone else. And obviously, I know you two are
friends, so I’m hoping it can be a collaborative effort. I’ve only just
recently reached out to her, but I wanted to make sure you were on board, then
I thought we could all meet. Since there’s nothing yet for either of you to
see, I can send you a script and take you through some of the mood boards, give
you a sense of the tone and feel of the project.”

 “Great, ok.” Alex was on auto-pilot. There
was no way she could just say no. But more than that, she didn’t want to say
no. She wanted to see Marco. Kind of. Although, shooting him could go terribly,
terribly wrong. He could refuse to work with her. Or he could refuse to do what
she and Sam wanted him to. But that would be his decision. All she could do
right now was say yes to the shoot.

 “Excellent! I’ll have my assistant work out
the dates and details with your rep.”

 “That sounds great, James. And thank you for
thinking of me for this.” She said sincerely.

 “There really wasn’t anyone else, Alex.” He
said, sending chills up Alex’s spine. There was something about him that she
found attractive, and whatever it was, was still there. But she knew it wasn’t
nearly enough. Not after what she had with Marco.

 “Thanks, James. I’m looking forward to it.”

 “Me too, Alex. Me too.” James said sexily
and then hung up.

Alex tried to soak in what this all might mean,
and she knew that the reality was that it would probably be neither an amazing
shoot which brought them back together where they professed their love to each
other, just as it would probably not be the worst shoot where he stormed off
stage. The likelihood was that they’d both be professional, do their jobs, and
then, after the shoot, go their separate ways. Alex wasn’t sure which would be
worse: embarrassing drama or utter indifference.