Broken Pieces (16 page)

“Hey, don’t be like that! You are doing an excellent job!” I say with all the energy I have left in me. I will not have him putting himself down for something that happened to me. “Let’s go to bed.”

As he is gathering my things, I manage to stand up through the excruciating pain that’s shooting in my side, and I tough it out all the way up his moronic stairs. He tells me to lie on the couch while he tries to muster up something for us to eat. I feel nowhere close to being hungry, but I am not going to telling him that. I let him work his magic in the kitchen. I know it makes him feel better if he feels like he’s doing something.

He brings me a pain pill with my dinner and I gratefully accept it. I try to eat as much as I can, or at least push it around my plate so that it looks like I ate, so I can appease him a little. When I’m done, he talks me into taking a hot shower. I know it will help, but I don’t know if I can stand the entire time.

He helps me to the bathroom and follows me in, shutting the door behind him. I give him a questioningly look, but he gives me a stern
don’t even think about it
look. I roll my eyes at his attentiveness. I am not helpless. I don’t dare say that to him, though.

He starts unbuttoning my blouse, keeping his eyes glued to mine the whole time. His stare makes something as innocent as him helping me get ready for a shower a sensual experience. He pushes the blouse off my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. When he freezes and sucks in air, I look down. Bruises are starting to outline my dainty ribs. He drops to his knees and begins to faintly touch and plant soft kisses where the bruises are forming. Then he moves to unbutton and unzip my slacks, pushing them down over my hips, keeping eye contact with me the whole time. I grab his shoulders as I step out of my pants and he rises, lightly brushing a few strands of hair out of my face, and whispers, “You mean so much to me. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.”

He gives me a soft kiss, then goes back to the shower task. Turning the water on, he makes sure it’s the right temperature. He gets all the necessities ready, then turns to look at me. I know him well enough that I know he is silently asking permission to continue to undress me and assist me in showering. I nod, answering him. Not once does he take time to ogle or make me feel cheap. Drew has a way of making me feel like I am worth more than all the money in the world.

Any other time I would feel so self-conscious in a lit room completely naked, but I know he is not gawking at me or taking advantage of the situation. All he cares about is me and my needs. He fills that emptiness that I have felt for years. I feel whole when I am with him. Even when something like this happens, I still feel like smiling when I look at him and realize that he is mine.

He looks at me when he notices me openly staring at him with a smile plastered on my face. “What?” he asks.

I smile shyly and shake my head, “Just you. Thank-you.” I hoping he can feel how much I appreciate him being here for me.

“It’s what I am here for, baby. I’m here just for you.” That is when all the air leaves my body, apparently making me lose oxygen to the brain because I forgot about my aching ribs, wrapped my arms around his neck, and double over in pain. Man, I hope they are not broken.

“Why did you do that? Take it easy,” he says, as he rubs my back.

“I know, but you just have that thing about you.” He pulls his eyebrows together, like he is concentrating on something really hard, so try to explain. “You make me forget all the bad in my life; you are my good.”

“Oh, baby …” He carefully pulls me into his embrace.

When we reluctantly let go, and only because the water is still running and I am standing there totally naked, he turns to leave. “Where are you going?”

“I am going to let you take a shower,” he says, like it’s obvious.

I grasp his wrist with my hands, which are much smaller than his, and pull him back to me. “Will you take a shower with me … please?” I say in the most tempting voice I could muster.

He looks towards the door as though he is indecisive on what he should do. Instead of ripping me heart out by saying no, he starts to undress. I do a little happy dance in my head, and then turn so he can’t see my evil grin.

The hot water feels so good. I really needed this. I mentally note that I’ll be thanking him later for taking care of me. I’m standing under the water with my eyes closed, running my hands through my hair to ensure that I got it all wet, when I hear a low growl. My eyes snap open to catch Drew’s smoldering glare. I take a tentative step towards him, leaning my head back to hold his stare. I place my hands on his defined pecks, and he places his hand over mine. With his raspy voice, he says, “I’m not sure I can control myself.”

“You don’t have to, baby.”

He looks away, clenching his jaw. “Did you forget what happened today? There is no way I am doing that after …
that
!” he spits out.

My heart shatters as he speaks his last word, and I slowly take a step away from him. He doesn’t want me anymore! That’s why my body didn’t do anything for him when he was undressing me, and why he didn’t want to take a shower with me. He thinks I am disgusting, I know it. Tears form in my eyes, as I drop my head.

He steps toward me, capturing my chin and drawing my face up. “Hey … hey, what’s wrong?”

He looks as if he is at a loss. “I understand.” I say through sniffles.

Those sexy eyebrows of his pull together before they shoot up in understanding. “OH! No, baby! No! I always want you! I love you … I’m sorry that what I said made you think that I didn’t
want
you! I just meant that you have been through a lot today. Hell, you have bruises!” He makes a noise of disgust before he finishes. “I could not imagine what you are going through, and I will not take advantage of you in such a vulnerable state.” He is caressing me as I lay my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

Whoa … did he just say he loves me? I freeze, not knowing if he realized he said it in his banter. Is he waiting for me to say it back? I do not know what to do. His heart rate picks up a notch before he stumbles, “I, uh … I’m sorry I said it. No, I’m not sorry because I mean it. Damn. It’s just, um … I was waiting to say it when I knew you felt the same about me, but it sort of slipped out just then.”

I raise my head, meeting his worried eyes. “I do feel the same,” I say in a small voice.

His eyes go wide. “You do?”

I smile and shake my head. “Yes, I do. You are crazy to think otherwise.”

He cautiously wraps his arms around my waist and says playfully, “Well, then, why haven’t you said it?”

“I didn’t know if you felt the same,” I say, somberly.

That night, Drew was a perfect gentleman, as he made sure I was comfortable and had everything I needed. He must have been exhausted because he passed out as soon as we lay down. I’m just laying here, staring at nothing. My side is still pounding, but I lied and told him that the pain medicine worked so he would not worry. It doesn’t help that I am lying on my back with Drew’s massive arm draped over me, but I could not wake him if I wanted to. He looks so peaceful.

I wonder if I am being selfish wanting to be with him. I have too many problems; he deserves someone as perfect as he is. I absolutely hate that he has had to save me so many times. He should not have to keep watch over me. It is not fair to him. What if we stay together and he wakes up one day and realizes that this is neither the life nor the girl he envisioned for himself?

I shake the crazy thoughts from my head, as I’m finally starting to feel sleepy. I close my eyes and I see the inside of my car, feel him behind me. I open my eyes and it is gone.
Deep breath!
I lean into the sleeping Drew, breathing in his scent that instantly relaxes me. I put my arm on his and it is enough, the touch and smell of him, to let me fall into a peaceful sleep.

These past few months of my last semester of college with Drew have gone by so fast, compared to the last three years of college. For a month after the incident with Collin, Drew treated me like I was glass. I finally convinced him that I was not going to break. What I really wanted to tell him was that I have been through worse, but decided against it.

He has been the picture perfect boyfriend … surprising me with flowers at work, taking me on too expensive dinners that I insist he not do again because it was not my scene, though Drew fit in perfectly.

Before he took me out on one of those expensive dinners, I had never thought about how he’s only twenty-six, drives an expensive car, and can afford the lavish things he purchases. I, having the big mouth that I do, asked him while we were just lying around on the couch one lazy Sunday. “I know you work and all, but how do you have all that you have at such a young age?” I’m trying to sound nonchalant while I pick at my nails.

“Well, my car is paid for, Kenny practically lets me live here for nothing, and …,” he takes a breath, “I made a lot of money while I was fighting.”

“Oh, I see.” I try to make it sound like no big deal, even though I think it is.

He fought that much? It scares me to think of him fighting, possibly getting hurt. I do not know what I would do if he decided he wanted to do it again. I want to think that I would stand by him and support him but, in all reality, I don’t know if I am strong enough. It feels horrible to think that I might not be there for him like he has been here for me. I’d definitely try, though. He has been a blessing in my life; I owe him more than I will ever be able to repay.

I didn’t ask any more questions after that. Who am I to ask him to explain it to me? He dropped the subject also, but that did not stop him from showering me with gifts. I hated the thought of him giving me all these nice things when I could not give him anything in return. When I told him one night how I felt, he simply said, “You being here with me is worth more than anything you could buy me.”

“I feel the same way, Drew. I don’t need all these things to make me happy. I just want you.”

He just smiled, pulling me to him, and kissing me. When he pulled back, he said, “That is what I love about you.”

I had a new pair of diamond earrings, a new purse and, between him and Lauren, more clothes than I could wear in a month. Speaking of that rascal, we have become best friends. She is always there when I need to talk or for clothes advice, which has been more often recently because of all the nice restaurants Drew has been taking me to, and just wanting to look good for my man, in general. I have tried to be there for her in return, but with finals coming up and being in the middle of my internship, things have been hectic for me. Oh, and how can I forget my boyfriend?

I hope to be there for her in the coming months. With the holidays around the corner, I am sure we will have plenty of shopping trips to go on since I have a boyfriend and a best friend to shop for. I would have another friend to shop for, but he seems to not want anything to do with me for some reason. I’ve tried to call him and talk to him every time I see him in public, but he just ignores my phone calls or says he’s in a hurry. Lauren said she has talked to him a few times. I didn’t ask why because I knew she had a crush on him, but she said he has been busy with his band and that he says he will call me soon. I am still waiting for that.

Thanksgiving came and went. Lauren went with her dad for a family dinner, and I am glad she has him. Drew insisted that we cook a meal for us to eat together. His friend was supposed to show for dinner, too, but bailed at the last minute. Drew said that he was surprised with my cooking skills, but I was at a loss for words with his. He put me to shame in the kitchen. I wondered how we could have dated this long and I did not know he could cook like that? I told him my cooking skills came from having to fend for myself when I lived at home. He said his did, too.

Sometimes I like to think that maybe fate had a little to do with me and Drew. Two lost souls that finally found their match. I think that what screws relationships up before they can even get started is how we picture a relationship is supposed to be. You go into a relationship thinking the other person is flawless, utter perfection. Okay, maybe I think Drew is, but my point is that we have had our arguments and disagreements. I know everything will not be perfect all the time. If it were, we would all be characters out of a movie. I don’t expect perfection from Drew; I want him to be exactly who he is.

With graduation next week, I have been looking for an apartment I can afford but still be close to my job since Ms. Martin asked me to stay her assistant! I was beyond excited when she told me. There is nothing else I could ask for in life.

Drew has been telling me not to waste time looking for an apartment, that I can just stay with him. I think that is a step to soon for us. Even though we are doing great, I do not want to complicate things.

I asked Lauren to go with me today to look at this apartment that is thirty minutes away from work. I know it’s not in a good neighborhood but, with my budget, I just need to find something quick.