Broken Pieces (12 page)

He doesn’t look my way or say a word, just nods. So I sit silently, waiting to see where we’re going. He pulls into an abandoned warehouse that looks pretty creepy. It has a few broken windows on the bottom floor, and some of the tin is covered in years of rust. I know I do not know my way around the city very well, but I do know that this is not a good part of town, that is for sure. I can see graffiti on a few buildings, and I check my door … locked.

He must have seen my reaction. “You are safe with me.”

I just nod and he gets out of the car. I take a deep breath and grab my purse, just as he opens my door. We walk to the front of the abandoned warehouse, where there is a door without a lock on it. I am mentally kicking myself for putting myself in these situations that I know are not safe, but then I think about it. I actually
do
feel safe with him.

I step into a musky smelling room that has double heighted ceilings. It is dark, but the streetlight is shining through the broken windows so I can make out what looks like a boxing ring. I see punching bags and mats scattered everywhere. This must be the center where he contributes his spare time. It’s sweet that he’s showing me, but in the middle of the night?

He’s a few steps ahead of me, looking at me. “You coming?” he asks, skeptical.

I follow him through the big room to a metal staircase that leads up to a door with enough locks on it for the whole building. He takes keys out of his pocket, and starts attacking the locks. It takes him no time for him to unlock them all. He holds the door open and motions me to go in. When I step into the room, the space takes me by surprise. It is the total opposite of downstairs. Even though the floor plan is the same, this is an apartment. There are a few walls here and there, but I can see all the way through to the back of the space. One whole side is a brick wall with open duct work. On the other side is a kitchen that runs along another wall with an island in front. It’s quite big, and has the clean, comfortable feeling of being lived in.

I turn to find him staring intently at me. “Is this your home?”

He smirks and nods. Then he motions me to walk into the living room. I try to take it all in at once … the leather couch with a throw laid on it, the TV is surrounded by shelves with movies occupying them, and I think I spot a few books in there, too. I might have to check those out later. I turn and walk into the kitchen. I walk around the island, dragging my fingers along the smooth granite countertop. I stop directly on the other side and lock eyes with him. He is leaning against the back of his couch with his arms crossed, giving me a curious look.

I smile. “It’s beautiful, Drew.”

He smiles and reaches his hand out to mine. “But, you haven’t seen the rest yet.”

I take his hand and follow him. He shows me the bathroom and open office area, with more bookshelves. As we make out way down an open hallway, I see pictures that stop me dead in my tracks, and he turns to see what caught my attention. There are framed pictures of him without a shirt on, his hands wrapped, and standing in front of a boxing ring. Next to it are more pictures of him and other guys, looking the same way.

“You fight?”

He sharply says, “Used to.” He’s not looking pleased that I know, but did he really expect me not to find out? The pictures are hanging on his wall!

Guess we will talk that out when it comes up. He grabs my hand, leading me to the very back of the apartment, and walks me around a long wall that separates it from the rest of the space. His bedroom. I am in Drew’s bedroom. My mouth just went dry. I hope he doesn’t think something is going to happen. I know we have a connection, but I have not known him long enough. Now that I think about it, I’m not so sure how long you need to know someone before it is okay to sleep with them. You can know someone more than half of your life and it still does not make a difference.

“I’m just showing you where I live; I’m not going to try anything.” He adds the last with a voice meant for a small child.

Actually, that kind of pisses me off a little. I know he knows about my past, but there is no reason to throw it in my face. I am a grown woman and if I want to sleep with someone, I can. I wouldn’t have come here with him if I thought he was going to “try anything” I did not want. “I know that,” I say, sharply.

He doesn’t reply. I might have been ignoring it, but there is something off about him tonight. He’s acting different, and I’m not sure how to deal with it. Maybe I should have gone home with Lauren, but I refuse to run away from my problems this time. We have something that is indescribable; not everyone has our kind of connection.

I decide to take matters into my own hands. “Is something wrong? You have been acting strange all night. Did I do something?”

He strides to me, taking my head in his hands, locks eyes with me, and kisses me more passionately than he ever has. He’s taking complete control, and I melt at his touch. He takes one hand off of my face to move it around my waist, holding me flush against him. I easily fall into him, kissing him just as passionately. He slides his hand up the back of my shirt, and I gasp at the skin-to-skin contact. He backs me up against the wall, the exposed brick scratching my bare shoulder. He is kissing me like he is trying to prove himself.

He finally breaks contact with my lips, and I take advantage. “Stop trying to distract me.”

The way he glares down at me proves just what his intentions were with that kiss. If he is keeping things from me, and will not communicate this soon into our relationship, then we will not make it far. I am not the type to just sit aside and keep my mouth shut, especially when it has to do with me. However, I bite my tongue and wait for him to speak. “I want you to be mine, Kara.”

Puzzled, I stare back at him. “I don’t want to
be
anyone else’s.”

He lets out a breath that he’s been holding, and relief washes over his face. What could make him ever think someone would not want him is beyond me. It is him that I do not understand wanting me. He could have any girl he wants, yet he wants
me
. I am the girl that is fucked up inside, the one that doesn’t even know if she can do this relationship thing. I guess everyone needs a little ego boost sometimes. Shit, I know I do a lot of the time, but that has to come from within me. How else could I have gotten this far with my school, but I can put myself aside for him. That is what people do in a relationship, right?

I break the silence. “So are you going to tell what this is all about?” My voice is small.

He closes his eyes before he begins. “I don’t know what it is about you.” He strokes my check with the back of his hand. “When another guy looks at you or touches you, I want to hurt them. You mean so much to me already that it scares me. I’m sorry for going weird on you tonight.”

I feel as if the air has been knocked out of me. I knew he must have liked me. but I would have never guessed that I mean so much to him. On the other hand, I don’t want to jump into this relationship with him too fast and risk scaring him.

I lean into him and say, “You mean a lot to me, too, but you don’t have anything to worry about with me.”

“Are you saying you have something to worry about with
me
?” he asks while he stares intently down at me. He is still holding me against him, not looking like he’s going to let me go. In a weird sense, maybe I don’t want him to.

“No … um … it’s just that I don’t know what we are … um … doing here,” I stumbled.

He bores into my eyes. “I want to be with you. I know your past has been anything but sunshine and flowers. Let me be your sunshine, and I will buy you millions of flowers.”

I lean against the wall for support. I wonder if he knows what he’s asking for. I want to tell him that a relationship with me won’t be easy. That, with my past, I am not even sure if I can be in a stable relationship without screwing it up. On the other hand, I don’t want to throw something great away just because of my insecurities.

“I want to be with you, too, but I don’t know if I can do it. I mean, I haven’t been in a relationship since …”

He takes my face in his palms, looking me square in the eye. “You were
not
the problem in that relationship. We both want this so how about we take a chance and see where it takes us. One condition, though … no other guys.”

I nod my head in agreement. “Okay … and no more girls?” I raise my eyebrows.

A hint of a smile plays on his lips. “There is only you, sweetheart.” He kisses my forehead and moves away.

I am guessing he saw the bewildered look on my face because he starts to explain. “If we are going to be together, I want to do this right.” He says the next part as if he’s not sure how I will react. “Because of what happened in your past, I think we should take things slow, get to know each other and let the chips fall where they may. No rushing, okay?”

I freeze at the mention of my past, but at least I didn’t freak out. I totally agree with him about taking it slow. If we rush into things, I think what we have would be taken away. Plus, I don’t know if I could handle it. How pathetic that we have to do things differently than normal people … because of me. Do I really want to put him through this? I know it is not fair to him, and I feel selfish.

“I don’t want you to do anything differently than you normally would do with a … um … girlfriend …”

Oh, wow! Did I just use the word girlfriend? What is wrong with me?! I look down in embarrassment and start wringing my hands together. I hardly ever notice when I do it, but he reminds me by putting his hands over mine, pleading me to stop my nervous habit. I look up into those imploring eyes. “One, I don’t want this to be like any other relationships I have had in the past. Two, girlfriend is the right word to use.”

There’s a glimmer of hope in his eyes. I just smile and nod. He smiles, grabs my hand, and leads me out of his bedroom and to the couch. He sits me down and goes to grab us drinks. He returns with non-alcoholic ones which make me frown, but then I remember that he has work at eight in the morning. I sigh and take a sip of my drink. It’s some mix of cranberry juice and orange juice, I think. I really don’t care; it tastes wonderful.

He sits beside me and puts his arm around me. We sit back and relax, and it feel nice and normal. Maybe we can have a normal relationship.

We watch some late night shows on the satellite. Well, between making out like teenagers and talking about his life when he was fighting, we really didn’t watch them. I was surprised to learn that he fought all through college so that he could pay for it. He promised me that he does not do it now. It makes me sad to think of him having to stoop to that level just to achieve a college degree. I feel proud of him, though. From what he has told me about his past, it wasn’t smooth sailing for him, either.

His mom would come home drunk from the bar every night with a different guy. It pissed Drew off that his mother didn’t care about her health … or him, for that matter. He told me that, after his dad left him and his mother to fend for themselves, she let herself go off the deep end. That’s how he found himself here, at the gym.

Not only did he learn to fight here and then moved in, he helps out every chance he gets. It makes me smile that people my age still care enough to donate their time to kids that don’t have a role model. I don’t know what I did to become lucky enough to have someone like him in my life, but I hope that he stays.

Someone is shaking me. I tense up, jerking my eyes open and scanning wildly around the room. They finally rest on him, and I instantly relax. He pulls me to him, wrapping his strong arms around me and making me feel safer than I have ever felt. “I’m sorry I scared you. You fell asleep, sweetie,” he tells me in a soft voice.

Crap, I feel asleep. He probably wants me to leave so he can get to bed. How rude of me. He has work in the morning. “Oh, I’m sorry, Drew. I didn’t mean to be a burden. I will go so you can get some sleep,” I say groggily, trying to sit up.

“You don’t have to leave unless you want to.” He pulls me to him and I lay my head on his chest. “I would like you to stay the night … if you want to, of course. Nothing will happen,” he says, almost a whisper.

“Okay,” I say, weakly. He has a way of breaking down walls, and makes me
feel
again. It is scary, but I think I like it.

We stand and walk to his bedroom. He pulls a t-shirt out of his closet and hands it to me, telling me I can use the bathroom to change. I smile and walk to the bathroom. I take off my clothes, fold them, and place them neatly on the vanity. I will have to wear the same clothes tomorrow anyway. I normally don’t sleep in my bra, but I’m hesitant whether I should leave it on or not. I don’t want him thinking that I want to do something. Well, I want to, but I don’t think I am ready for that, and it would ruin what we have right now.

I smile at myself in the mirror. I don’t ever remember being this happy, nor did I ever think I would be this happy again. I take a deep breath. “Baby steps, one step at a time,” I say into the mirror. I tried to fix the mess of top of my head. I feel like I’m channeling Lauren. I finally give up; that is as good as it’s going to get. I finish by using his mouthwash, hoping he doesn’t mind.

He gave me a white shirt with black and red writing on it. I have no clue what it says, but I think it’s a fighting shirt. I finally decide I can sleep one night with a bra on. I make my way back through the quiet loft to his bedroom. As I poke my head around the wall, I see that he’s already under the covers.

He has his hands behind his head, making those muscles flex in just the right way. I am finally getting a good look at his bare chest, only to find more muscles and more tattoos. I know he said he wanted to take things slow, but I’m not so sure I can. The tattoos lead downward, right to his …

I giggle at the thoughts going through my head. He cocks his head, giving me a puzzled look, which makes me giggle louder. He really has no clue how adorable he is when he does that.

“Are you enjoying the view, baby?” he says in a seductive voice, and it immediately halts my giggles.