Broken Glass (29 page)

“I don’t know much, Ava,” he told me, quietly. “But she’s probably just in shock from seeing Aurelia. I’m assuming the poor girl took her own life, but I don’t know how. We don’t know what Channing saw in there.”

I nodded and suddenly, I was very aware of many people looking at us. Conner’s arms stiffened then and dropped to his sides, releasing me. His gaze was looking past me now and his jaw was clenched. I slowly turned around and saw Julianne standing there,
un
mistakable
anger in her eyes.

“Is Channing all right?” Henry stepped forward and asked Julianne. She didn’t look at Henry, or
even acknowledge that he’d spoken. She wal
ked slowly towards Conner and me.

“Conner, please
go to my office,” she said
, through gritted teeth. Everyone was definitely staring at us now. Conner didn’t say a word and walked off towards Julianne’s office.

Julianne turned to the crowd of people then.

“Thank you for your assistance,” she announced. “But you may all go back to your wards, or home, now. We have the situation at hand under cont
rol. As for all my patients in W
ard 4, please go to the group therapy room and wait for me. I will be with you shortly.”

“Julianne,” I started, but she gave me a look so icy that I shut my mouth.

“Group therapy room, Ava,” was a
ll she said, and then walked away
towards her office. I looked over at Shakespeare and Henry, who just stood there looking as dumbfounded as I felt.

“C’mon, Ava,” Shakespeare took my arm. “Let’s just go to the group therapy room and wait.” I nodded and the three of us headed in the same direction as the other patients.

We must have waited over half an hour before Julianne finally walked in. But all the while we were waiting, no one in that room said a word. I was grateful for a break in the silence, even if Julianne was unhappy with me for whatever reason at the moment.

“All right, everyone,” Julianne took a seat in her usual chair. She looked so tired. “I don’t want to keep anything from you, so I’m going to tell you exactly what happened here tonight. I’
m not going to leave out any details
because I believe you all deserve to know what happened.

“Now what you already know is that, yes, Aurelia Sykes is dead. I suppose this all happened almost an hour ago now, but we hadn
’t seen Aurelia at the
party, so Channing decided to go to Aurelia’s room and see when she’d be coming to the party. She’d come to breakfast, lunch, and dinner today, so all of us assumed she was fine. When Channing went into Aurelia’s room, she was hanging by her neck in her closet by a very thin piece of rubber rope. Chan
ning began screaming, so
the nurses and
I
ran back to Aurelia’s room. One of the nurses called the paramedics immediately, and by the looks of things, Aurelia had been dead for some
time.
Channing went into
shock, so we had the paramedics take her to the nearby public hospital to get treatment. She is stable, however, when I hear more of her condition, I’ll let you all know.

“As for other
details of this matter
—
why she killed herself, or how she got that rope, I am clueless. I hope that more comes to light very soon. I’ve never had anyone kill themselves in any of my wards before under my care, so this is just as unnerving to me as it is to you. If any of you need to talk to me, I’m here. You can even ask one of the nurses to call me, anytime, day or night, and I’ll come right up here. This is a tragedy that will affect us all undoubtedly.”

Everyone was quiet. We were all in shock.

“How do you personally think she got that rope?” Shakespeare asked Julianne then, and I noticed his voice shook.

“Oh, Shakespeare, I wish I knew exactly,” Julianne sighed. “My guess is that any system has loopholes, so obviously there was a loophole we missed. Someone had to provide her with that rope…but as to
whom
and how, I’m baffled.”

Shakespeare just nodded and sat back in his chair, quiet again.

“Well, if that’s all, I’ve got to take care of some things involving this matter,” Julianne told us. “Sorry your party got cut short.”

She got to her feet and walked towards the door. As everyone began getting up to leave, I rushed out the door after Julianne.

“Julianne,” I said and she turned around. Immediately, her face darkened.

“Julianne,” I said again. “Is-is everything all right? I mean, a-are you upset with me for any reason? I had no idea Aurelia would
—
”

“Of course I wouldn’t think you had anything to do with Aurelia’s suicide,” Julianne interrupted, almost snapping. “But there are other things going on with you that I’m very well aware of, Ava. We’ll talk about this on Monday, all right? There are bigger things to worry about right now.” With that, she turned on her heels and walked away.

“Ava, are you all right?” I heard Henry behind me. I turned around and looked at him. Had he heard everything? Shakespeare stepped up beside him then, too.

“Let’s go to my room,” Henry suggested. “We’ve still got about an hour before lights out.”

When we walked out of the group therapy room, the entire Ward had spiraled a 180. Security guards, nurses, and techs were everywhere, watching us with seemingly unblinking stares. We went through the security doors to our rooms and the every room had two hospital staff members on either side of the door. Though we constantly joked about “the nuthouse”, this was the first time I actually really felt like I was in an asylum.

Once the three of us were inside Henry’s room, Henry immediately turned to me.

“What’s going on with you, Ava?” he asked, sitting down on his bed next to me. I was looking down at my hands in my lap, twisting them nervously.

“What do you mean?” I whispered, swallowing the lump in my throat.

“Has he taken advantage of you?” Shakespeare spoke up, anger creeping into his voice. I looked up at him quickly.

“No!” I said, knowing exactly who Shakespeare was referring to. “Conner would never do that to me.”

“Then he is in love with you,” Henry stated. I looked at him and our eyes met. I didn’t have to say anything to confirm that this was possibly true.

“I hope Channing is okay,” I said aloud. “I want to see her.”

“We will,” Henry replied, putting his arm around my shoulder. “Ava, what will you do if Julianne doesn’t allow Conner to come back to see you anymore?”

“I thought he had to see all of us unless we requested otherwise,” I spoke up, my voice shrill.

“I doubt that,” Shakespeare muttered.

“It doesn’t matter,” I sighed. “I am just a patient.”

“I, along with everyone else, saw the way he held you as you cried tonight,” Henry told me. “You are not just a patient to him, and you know it. The question is, are you going to let yourself be more than just a patient for him or are you going to push him away?”

I rolled my eyes.

“This is pointless to even talk about,” I said. “I have six more months here and after that, I’ve got some serious relationship reconstruction to do with my mother. I had my time with love. It’s over, it’s done. I’ve accepted it finally, and you know, it’s okay. It happens.
And there are more important things happening right now! Aurelia is dead, Channing is in shock, and with the number of staff on watch in this ward, it’s like we’re in Fort Knox!
”

“Oh, Ava Darton,” Henry shook his head. “You are an idiot.”

I frowned. Henry had never insulted me before. I was quickly on the defense.

“Why am I an idiot, Henry?” I hissed at him. “Just because I care enough about Conner to not let him fall into this mess? I’m an idiot for not wanting him to get hurt?”

“No, you’re an idiot because you won’t just allow yourself to love him,” Henry said. “You don’t have to be a ‘mess’. He’s standing here, probably more than willing to take care of you and you’re just pushing him away for no good reason. Will you never allow yourself to be happy again?”

I didn’t answer him so he continued, his voice softening slightly.

“This life can really be a lonely o
ne if you let it.
”

I got up from the bed then.

“I am meant to be alone,” I said, and left the room.

22
.

I stayed in my room for the most
part that next day, Saturday
. I didn’t do a whole lot besides sleep and sift through my Tyson Box. Sometime in the middle of the night, however, I was awaken
ed
by a soft knocking on my door. I sat up quickly, not sure if I should be scared, or if this was a dream. I got up from my bed and slowly walked over to the door. I opened it just a crack and was surprised to see Conner standing there.

“What are you doing?” I whispered, opening the door fully now and practically yanking him into my room. I shut the door quietly and turned to him, my eyes adjusting to the dark. I could hear him giggling.

“What are you doing here, Conner?” I hissed. “Don’t you realize how much trouble you could get into for being in here? What is it, like, after midnight?”

“Yeah, it’s 1:30 a.m.,” he whispered in reply. “Say, why don’t you turn on a light or something?”

“Because it’s lights out after 11:00 p.m.!” I snapped at him. “And plus I look hideous just waking up like this.”

He was giggling again.

“Ah, so Ava wants to impress me, is that it?” he asked. I scowled at him, though he couldn’t see it in the darkness. I walked back over to my bed and sat down.

“What are you doing in here?” I asked him, in a low voice. “And how on earth did you get in the ward?”

“I must admit, I used my position to my advantage,” he replied and I heard him move towards me. His shadow sat down beside me on the bed. “I
am
a doctor on internship, after all, you know…”

“So what are you doing here?” I asked him again.

“Just came to say Happy
New Year
,” I could almost hear him smiling as he said this.

“
Happy New Year
,” I said to him. “That’s really not worth the risk of getting caught, now is it?”

“Sure it is,” he replied. “And I brought you a gift as well.”

“A gift?” I repeated.

“Yes,” he laughed. “A real, genuine Christmas present.
Sorry it’s a bit late.
” I felt him put something in my hands then.

“Well, I’ll have to wait to open it tomorrow when there’s light,” I told him, smiling in spite of myself. “I hope you’re not impatient. You could just tell me what it is.”

“Nope,” he said. “It’s got to be a surprise! You’ll just have to wait until tomorrow then. Hope
you’re
not impatient.”

“Smartass,” I mumbled, setting the present aside. “I can’t believe you risked getting in so much trouble just to give me a gift. Cou
ldn’t you have done it tomorrow
in broad daylight?”

“No,” he sighed. “First of all, it wouldn’t be fair for me to give you something and not everyone else
…
and trust me
,
internship salary is slim to none. Can’t afford to play Santa for the whole ward. And I’m not sure how our visits will play out from now on. My mother is quite upset at the, er, relationship we’ve formed.”

“What’s wrong with being friends?” I asked him quickly. “I thought that’s what Julianne tried to be for us. Why can she do it and you can’t?”

“Ava…” Conner started to say, but his voice trailed off. I knew what he was thinking. It was
more
than just a friendship, and we both knew it. But I couldn’t let him say this out loud. It
couldn’t happen between us. It just couldn’t.

“Is there any word on Channing?” I asked abruptly. He sighed again.

“I actually went to see her today,” he told me. “She’s all right. They’ve released her from the hospital. She’s not saying much…she’s very upset about this whole ordeal. But she sends her best to you.”

“She really is a wonderful human being,” I said, softly. “
A
selfish part of me wishes she was still here.”

“But what about Henry and Shakespeare?” Conner asked. “They’re dear friends to you as well
.”

“My friendship with them is different,” I said. “I don’t know how to explain it. Maybe it’s because Channing’s a female, I don’t know. She knows I’m a mess, but she doesn’t hold it against me. Sometimes I feel like Henry and Shakespeare do.”

“What do you mean?” Conner questioned.