Broken Fairytales (47 page)

Finally Zack stopped walking and turned to me. I stopped and faced him, preparing myself for what he would say that would tell me how much I’d hurt him.

He took a deep breath. “I’m not under any delusions that my mom’s going to make it, but I’d really appreciate it if we didn’t talk about it, okay?”

I nodded quickly, the tears pricking the backs of my eyes at the harshness of his tone as he started walking again. We caught up to
everyone else
, and Zack started a conversation with Molly. I fought as hard as I could not to break down on the spot. He was mad at me, and it was my own fault.

As Zack got a beer, said hello to people and set up by the bonfire, he didn’t say a w
ord to me. So I did my best to push aside how I was feeling
and focused on having fun with Rachel.
It was all I could do.

“Incoming,” I said, as I watched Derrick come up behind
her
and put his arms around her.

“Hey beautiful,” he said, and I could tell he was drunk as he sloppily whispered in her ear. “I can’t get you out of my mind. What do you say we sneak off for a little while – reconnect.”

“Get. Off. Me.” Rachel twisted out of his arms as soon as she realized who he was and spun to face him. “I have a boyfriend! What is your problem?”

“He’s not here,” Derrick sung, swaying slightly, his eyes hooded from the mix of weed and alcohol
and possibly something else
. “Hang out with me, Rachel. We had fun together
that night
.”

“Yeah, it was so much fun that you never called me again. Just stay away from me,” Rachel spat befo
re she gritted her teeth and marched away, directly to Chase who had been watching their exchange from a few feet away.

“Aw, you’re going to hold that against me forever, because I’d much prefer if you just held yourself against me,” Derrick called after her, loud enough for most people around to hear.

Rachel
started wildly wavi
ng her arms and gesturing to Chase
, and I could tell she’d had it. I watched as she turned, pointed right at Derrick and looked back at Chase expectantly.
He put his hands on either side
of her shoulders, looked down at her and said som
ething I couldn’t make out, but
I could see her visibly relax. Then he marched over to Derrick.

He put his arm around Derrick’s shoulders in a casual way, but from the grunt Derrick made, I knew Chase was being rougher than he led on.

“Let’s take a walk, man,” he said, and I was so proud of my brother for standing up for Rachel in that moment.

I
sauntered back over to her. S
he was still trying to calm down.

“What did I ever see in that
jackass
?” she asked me, and I was at a loss for words. He was cute, but his personality sucked.

“I have no idea,” I said, as I glanced over at Zack. He looked up from his guitar, caught my eye and looked away.

He was playing
Mysterious Ways,
by U2, and it squeezed my heart just a little when I thought about how he’d told me I was mysterious.
I felt tears prick the backs of my eyes
again
. Rachel caught on immediately, and shifted gears into best friend mode. S
he pulled me down b
y the water so no one else would see me getting upset
. I
couldn’t have felt worse about what I’
d said and how insensitive I’d been
.

I was telling her just that when her gaze shifted over my right shoulder. It was then that I realized Zack had stopped playing
,
and all I could hear outside of my sobs were the sounds of people talking and laughing
in the background
.
Before I could turn around, Zack’s arms were around me, his lips at my ear.

“I’m a
n
asshole
, and I’m sorry. Please don’t be upset, princess.”

I turned around to face him, my face wet with tears
. “You didn’t do anything wrong.
You have every right to be mad at me.”

He leaned forward and kissed my tearstained cheeks. “I’m not mad, Emily. I
’m
just upset
. Every time I think about the fact that I’m going to lose her,
it just torments me,
so I
haven’t
really
let myself think
about the future. I’ve
been
just
living in the moment for the past
few mon
ths, and when you said that, it
reminded me that there is going to be a time when
I have to think about what’s next
and make some decisions about the rest of my life, and it scares the shit out of me.”

He leaned his forehead against mine for a few beats, as if taking a moment to collect himself.

I th
readed my arms around his waist, and said quietly,
“My future was planned out for me before this summer, and now it’s not. I have no idea what I’m going to do, and that scares me too, Zack. You’re not alone in that, but the beauty of it is that you can choose your own path. You don’t have to have a perfect plan.”

“Thank you,” he said, catching me off-guard.

“For what?”

“For helping me to keep things in perspective. I don’t always do that.”

“Hey, I’m just throwing your advice back at you, my friend,” I said, and he laughed.

“I guess y
ou got me there.”

I followed Zack back up to the bonfire
after we
made up, gripping his hand tightly, knowing I didn’t want to let it go. Rachel had made
her way over to Chase, who had returned with a muc
h more subdued Derrick in tow, s
o I settled by the fire while Zack started his next set.

When he
took another break, he asked me to take a walk down the beach with him.
We settled a ways down the beach, the sounds of the party barely audible in the distance.

“You leave in two
week
s
, right?” he asked, and I felt a lump form in my throat.

“Yeah, just about.”

He nodded.
“I wish you could stay,” he said simply.

“I just wish I could stay with you,” I said, putting everything out there.

Zack didn’t say anything, but he squeezed my hand as we looked out at the dark waves crashing on the beach in front of us.

As we walked back
to the party
together, he w
hispered in my ear, “This next s
ong is for you
, princess
.” Then he kissed my chee
k, grinned, and continued on
to his guitar
which he’d left propped up against the log he’d been sitting on
.

I saw Rachel standing nearby with Chase
and Molly
, so I walked over to her, letting her know what Zack had just told me. She grinned at me, the joy on her face no doubt radiating what she was seeing in my expression. She reached for my hand, squeezing it
as
Zack started playing the opening chords to
Use Somebody
by King of Leon.

It was one of my favorite songs, and he played it perfectly. Liar’s Edge had a similar sound to Kings of Leon, so his voice sounded so natural singing the lyrics that weren’t his.
When he put his guitar down, the people nearby clapped, and I ran over to him, nearly tackling him in the process.

“Whoa,” he sa
id, falling back slightly. “
I guess you liked it.” He was laughing lightly.

“I loved it,” I said. “It was perfect.
You’re perfect.”

“Oh yeah,” he said, reaching down for his beer.

I nodded.
“Yes.”

“Okay, I’ll go with you on that,” he said, wrapping h
is arms around me as I settled next to him to hear him play his next few songs.

As
we
later
mingled with the friends we’d made that summer.
Zack held my hand,
and I marveled at how
good
of
a mood he was in as he talked an
d joked with everyone.
It really had been a good day
, despite the fight we’d gotten into after my callous comment
.

“Ar
e we anywhere near your spot?”
I asked him at one point when we’d broken away from a group
of people who were raving out about his playing
. 

He shook his head. “No, but we could be.
Do you want to go there?”

I nodded.
“I want to be alone wit
h you.
Can we go?”

“Sure.
Are you okay leaving Rachel?”

Oh,
shit.
I’d forgotten about her
.
D
amn, I was being a bad friend.
I scanned the beach for Rachel and spotted her sitting by the fire talking to Chase.
They
were laughing about something.
I jogged over to them.
I was glad they were becoming friends again, especially since Chase and I
had formed a friendship of sorts
\
ourselves
.

“Hey,” I said, feeling breathless
, and not from the short run
.

“Hey,” she said, looking up at me. “Having fun?”

“Yeah,” I said, grinning.
“I am.”

“Tell Zack I loved the song. It was a good choice.”

I nodded. “I will.
Actually, that’s what
I wanted to talk to you about.
Um, I think we mi
ght take off for a little bit.
Is that cool?” I asked, hoping she would catch my innuendo.

She smiled. “Absolutely!
Go
.”

“You’re sure?” I asked, suddenly worried that I was leaving her in my brother’s not so capable hands.
“You don’t need me to stay here to run interference with Derrick?”

Rachel laughed. “No, I think Chase sufficiently scared him away, so I’m good.
Go have sex!”

“
Rachel!
”
I said, realizing she was shouti
ng.
She must not have known
how drunk she was.
She looked a little apologetic
but not much.
“Okay, I’m going.
Chase, can you m
ake sure Rachel gets home safe
?”

He jok
ingly put his arm around her. “She’ll be fine.
I’ll keep Derrick away from her.
”

“I think I need someone to keep you away from her,” I said sarcastically to which Chase made a face.

“I’ll be fine,” Rachel said.
“
I don’t need a babysitter.
Go!”

“Okay, okay,” I said, smiling.
“
Have fun!”

Rachel whispered something to
Chase
,
and he
snorted
a laugh
.
I wa
s curious about what she’d said
but didn’t have time to ask.
 

“
You too
,” R
achel called
,
as I walked away.
“Use a condom!”

I cringed as I realized that
more people than
I
had wanted to
just he
ard what I was going to
do
with Zack. Then
I figured it didn’t matter
and ran across the sand to hi
s outstretched hand.

Chapter
Twenty-Four

An hour later, after stop
ping at his house to get a bla
nket, we were at Zack’s spot.
He was
idly sitting
against the mouth of the cave, strumming an unknown tune on his guitar
. He looked like he was far away
. 

“You okay?”

He shrugged. “No different tha
n usual.”

“You’re worried,” I said, knowing he was.

He looked out over the water and sighed deeply, hi
s breath coming out in a huff.
“This su
mmer has been great,” he said.
“One of my bes
t, but it’s all going to end.”
He brought his gaze back to me.